David was helping Melissa with the gardening. Almost a week now, he still wasn’t sure what to call her. Not Mom. Not Melissa. Not Mrs. Warner. Nothing seemed right. “Enough weeding for one morning,” she said. “Why don’t you hook up the hose and we’ll do a little watering? Remember, righty tighty, lefty loosey.” She pointed to the spigot on the side of the house and she laughed. A little sputter of a laugh. David nodded. As he unrolled the hose and dragged one end towards the spigot, he remembered something from his freshman year of high school.

It was after evening swim practice. He was outside the old brick school, waiting in the back parking lot for his parents to pick him up. It was cold, maybe ten degrees, and he huddled into his coat and tightened his body. It was snowing. It had been snowing for a while, and some of the snow was starting to stick. David scooped some of it up and packed it into a snowball and tossed it against the side of the building. But most of the snowball disintegrated in the air as it flew. Too dry. The splat against the wall was less than satisfying. David gathered some more snow in his mittens, but instead of packing it into a snowball he took it to the water spigot jutting from the bricks a few steps left of the back door. He wasn’t sure he had anything in mind. Maybe just get it a little damp. Just then a couple of kids came out. Rick Pike and Rick Weldon, seniors on the team. Weldon was combing his crew cut, trying to make the front stand up in a little tuft.

“Whatcha doin?” Pike asked.

At first David thought he was talking to Weldon, so he didn’t answer.

“I said, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’”

“Nothing,” David said. “Just making snowballs.”

“It looks like he’s sticking snow up that spigot,” Weldon said.

“Why would he do a silly ass thing like that?” Pike asked.

“Probably pretending he’s stuffing it up his girlfriend’s cunt.”

“Is that what you’re doing?” Pike asked.

“No, I...” David stammered. It was the first time he’d ever heard anyone say cunt. He wasn’t even sure what it meant. “I...”

“His girlfriend’s awfully cute,” Weldon said. “Little Bethie. I seen her. I seen him walking in the hall with her one day. Freckles. Sweet little titties. Snowball sized.”

Pike laughed. He had picked up some snow. He was squeezing it in his bare hands, packing it. “But why you want to stuff snow in her cunt? That’s not very respectful like,” Pike said.

“I didn’t ... I...”

“I’ll give you a hint,” Pike said. “Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Always remember that.”

“I will,” David said.

“Right,” Pike said. “Righty tighty. Bethie looks like a righty to me, doesn’t she to you, Weldon? I bet she’s got the tightest little cunt.”

“She...” David said. “I...” Car lights. His parents.

“Righty tighty,” Pike called out as David stepped towards the car. “You let us know if you want any help loosening it up.”

David slipped into the backseat. As they drove off a snowball thumped on the roof.

“Friends of yours?” David’s dad said.

“Not really,” David said. “Just guys on the team.”

David had the hose attached to the spigot. He turned on the water. Tight seal. Nothing dripped. Then Melissa sprayed him. So icy! David couldn’t help it. He squealed.

Melissa laughed. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she said. “I was just testing it. Why don’t you go on in now, wake up that lazy Bethie and get her to dry you off?”