Chapter 5

I stayed to watch the preparation: Miranda’s body was laid on its back on the platform. Her head was immersed in a large jar of preserving fluid—for three days the fluids would be absorbed into her tissues, leaving her skin and hair moist, supple, and lifelike. Then Beth bent down and tenderly kissed Miranda’s between her legs, one last time. At last she backed away and gestured for the men to continue. Big Bill and Kevin picked up Miranda’s body and transferred it to a gurney. They wheeled it off to a small truck. “Wang Pharmaceuticals” was stenciled on the sides in a fancy script-like typeface.

As soon as they had transferred the body into the truck, I rushed into the house, unable to wait any longer. I took the stairs two at a time up to my second floor bedroom, locking the door behind me.

I yanked the closet door open and riffled frantically through my clothes. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for but I knew I’d recognize it when I saw it. At last I found two never-worn terrycloth robes, one green and one white, both gifts from Father. Each had a belt.

I had no intention of experimenting with hanging myself. I would wait on that until I was at the Academy—they would tell me how to do it right, teach me all the safety rules. It would be such a tragedy if I were to kill myself accidentally in my ignorance, when in just a few months all would be revealed. But I had to, had to, just had to play out the fantasy in my mind. To feel what Miranda had felt. To know what it would be like in that role.

I quickly peeled off my clothes and stood naked in front of the full-length mirror. I had often looked at myself this way before, searching for signs of approaching womanhood, excited about leaving childhood, yet also dreading being called upon to act like a woman when I didn’t know how.

This was different.

I tried, as Miranda had asked, to see myself as another person would see me.

I really did have the same general body shape as Miranda. Miranda might have looked something like this three or four years ago. I cupped my breasts from underneath. They were full enough, and would become perkier with a little toning of my shoulder and back muscles and some firming up of my abs. My legs could use some work as well. I stood on my toes. There, that looked ... I giggled. That was actually a little sexy.

I’ll have to make a list of everything I need.

I bit my lip, the tingling growing between my legs, my stomach a mass of butterflies. I wrapped one of the terrycloth belts around my waist and tied it in front of my stomach. I tied one end of the second belt to the knot in the first, and pulled the belt between my legs, until it was tight through my pussy. I began pulling on it. No good. Wait. I know what’s missing.

I ran into my bathroom and got a towel. I wrapped it around my neck, snugly but not choking—just tight enough that I could feel it all the way around. I put my hands behind my back again, wrists crossed as if they were tied. I began tugging on the belt again. Through half-closed eyes I watched myself in the mirror, trying to project myself into Miranda. Trying to be Miranda.

Even without being choked, the feeling of floating I’d felt with Miranda’s hands around my neck returned. I felt suspended, dangling in midair, the rope rubbing my pussy, making me shiver. I thrust with my hips, my breasts bouncing. Floating. Tingling. Feeling it in my crotch.

No orgasm had ever hit like this before: an explosion in my body that shook me from her my head to my toes, fire and ice, pounding, pounding, waves blasting outward from between my legs, each threatening to burst me apart as it reached the ends of her body and reflected back.

My knees buckled, and everything went black.

I returned to consciousness gradually, disoriented, not remembering for a moment why I was sprawled on the floor. The towel around my neck reminded me. I smiled exhaustedly. Oh yeah. That’s why.

I was you, Miranda. Just for a minute, I was you.

I spent the next two hours searching the Web for information on the Hanging Academy. Most of the time was on the Academy’s own Web site, reading every page closely. Through my open window, the aroma of BBQ ribs floated into my room.

I saw a flurry of activity through the window. They were taking the food off the fire.

I started out of my room, almost dashing downstairs before realizing I was still naked. I laughed, then threw my clothes back on and went down to rejoin the party. After all that, I was hungry ... ravenous.

I finished loading my plate with beans, potato salad, and a whole rack of spare ribs. I looked up to see Beth standing beside me, smiling. “Come sit with me?”

My eyes went wide. “Sure!”

Beth led me to a picnic table occupied only by Big Bill, who had enough food in front of him for an elephant. There was room for more people than just Beth and me to join him, but nobody had. Big surprise.

“Hi, Bill.” I nodded politely.

He looked up at me briefly, nodded, and continued eating.

“Do you always wear those shades?” I asked Beth.

She laughed. “No, never. This is just part of the costume. I’ve got them on now because I’m supposed to stay in character the whole day.”

I picked up a rib and started gnawing the meat off the bone. It felt more comfortable, somehow, to sit and eat with Beth. She started to slow down after a while. I’d eaten about half my ribs and was a little less ravenous, so I gestured towards the stage. “This whole thing was so ... elaborate. Are there other scripts besides the ‘Princess Scenario?’”

“Oh, yeah, several. Each Noosemeister usually has his favorite, one that really fits his fantasies better than the others. This was Randi’s.”

“How do you guys last so long? There’s some way ... I mean, you’ve got to be breathing somehow. I don’t know how, but there’s no other way. Could Miranda have been breathing?”

Beth gave me a mysterious smile. “I couldn’t say.”