Chapter 3

Ten Days Later

I was so excited, I was shaking. Everybody in my group formed a circle around of one of the hanging platforms in the gym. Finally!! I get to hang today!!

The academic classes for the First Year students contained about twenty students each, but Hanging Practice was restricted to groups of nine or ten, so the students could all gather closely around the hanging platform. It also allowed for more individualized instruction—or at least not mass-produced. The same students would be in my academic classes until the quarter ended in three months, but membership in the hanging classes was periodically scrambled, so that over time everybody could watch every other student hang. The Academy believed strongly in students sharing their knowledge—and especially about hanging.

Up until today my group had only watched the teacher hang during each class meeting, listening to him describe his head movements, with all of the students gathered around, watching intently as the teacher dangled and kicked for a few minutes, barely breathing hard afterwards. Today, at last, we would be allowed to try it for the first time.

I had stripped and left my uniform on the floor, folded neatly on top of my sneakers, and joined the circle as each student took a turn, going in clockwise order around the circle. I could feel the wetness between my legs. I hoped it wouldn’t run down my leg, but some of the boys were already sporting erections and most of the girls had shiny trails down their thighs; they were as excited as I was.

As the boy to my right stepped up onto the platform, I stepped up to put handcuffs on his wrists, and to put the noose around his neck, with the teacher watching closely. Previous students had done considerable fumbling with the rope, while the teacher explained the proper positioning to them.

I smiled as the teacher said, “Amy, it looks like you’ve done that before.”

“Yes, sir.” Though the teacher himself was just a few years older than me, it seemed natural to address him with respect. Graduates should have respect. “A couple of Second Years have been showing me how.”

The teacher nodded, and I jumped down from the platform. The teacher looked up at the boy on the platform. He was having a hard time controlling his breathing, and looked determined, if nervous. At last the teacher pulled the lever. I’m next, I thought, next one up!!

Keeping one eye on his watch and the other on the boy’s kicking, the teacher remained silent for now. After just sixty seconds, the teacher pushed the lever back.

The boy nearly fainted before I could get the noose off him, but his mouth had an ear-to-ear grin. The teacher said a few things to him as he stepped down, unlocking his handcuffs and handing them to the girl to my left.

I leapt onto the platform, calling out to Miranda in my mind: I’m here, Miranda! I’m going to do it!

I closed my eyes and worked on reining in my thundering heart as the girl holding the handcuffs locked them around my wrists behind me. I quivered as I felt her drop the loop of rope down over my head, and chuckled as it got caught for a moment on my nose. That relaxed me. I opened my eyes and looked straight ahead as the girl tightened up the noose, and waited while the teacher corrected the placement of the knot. At last the girl jumped down, and I was alone on the platform.

A tingle shot through me as I felt the surface I was standing on start to descend. A light tug on my neck grew quickly stronger, pulling me up onto my toes. I would remember, the rest of my life, the feeling as my toes slipped along the surface and lost contact with it, in the same way that I remembered my very first orgasm.

I felt, more than I had ever felt in my life, that I was at home.

It wasn’t as hard on my neck as I’d been expecting—the exercises with the neck trainer in my room were already paying off. Immediately I felt the intense rush of arousal flood through my body, the same way it had when Miranda and the Dean had choked me.

My fears that I would forget all the movements I was supposed to be doing, in the excitement of the moment, proved groundless. I did have to think about it, and promised myself it would all become automatic with more practice, but I did manage to wobble my head from one side to another. Much more natural was the kicking, my feet instinctively seeking support in all possible directions, unable to admit they would find none.

I guess that for at least fifteen seconds I couldn’t breathe at all, and I worried I wasn’t doing the movement right. I probably wasn’t, but suddenly found I could take in air in tiny sips, letting it out slowly afterwards. It really works!!

I was less sure about the blood coming up in my arteries. Breathing, alone, was worthless—unless the oxygen I was breathing into my lungs could somehow get to my head, I might as well not even be breathing at all. Well, when I start hanging longer, I’ll be able to sense the signs of hypoxia. I’ll learn to adjust my movements so those warning signs will go away.

I didn’t realize my minute was up until the floor of the platform suddenly bumped against my toes. My feet desperately sought out the now rising surface, but my mind was screaming No, it can’t be over yet!!

I stood solidly on the floor of the platform at last, with a huge grin on my face, listening to the teacher, nodding my head at his comments, carefully filing them away in my mind for the next time. I wanted the next time to be now!

I waited, feeling more alive than I had ever been, watching the girl behind me mount the platform. The boy who had gone before me had the same look on his face that I did. I impulsively hugged him, surprised at myself for doing it—I knew his name was Jem, but I had barely even spoken to him before today. But we both wanted to share the feeling.