Chapter 4

The following morning turned out rainy and miserable when it came to weather, but I was probably grinning like I had lost my mind when I was keeping hold of the tiller while we were moving upstream. While grinning, I also reminded myself never to get myself on the bad side of Hanna, since I would have been no match for her, no way. I don’t know exactly how she had explained the situation to the canal operator and his wife, but it had been enough to convince them to show a great deal of sympathy to me!

In a way, it had been almost too easy: Hanna had only explained that I’d had to leave Aston with my fiancée because she had lost her mind - or flipped out totally - by deciding to become a Magician. Like a fiancée of a minor business holder could just decide to become a Magician! How would the real Magicians think about that? Hanna had then explained to them that I loved her so much that I decided to take her out of Aston to some small city upstream and start a small office there. Maybe the fresh air and a quiet place without those really scary people in their black robes would help - or that was what we (my grandmother and I) hoped. I guess it had been a really sad story about how I gave up a promising future in the family business because of my fiancée.

There was more: our family doctor had said that her mind was quite fragile and people should be supportive towards her. When she came and told her story, it would be better if they would be nice to her and promise to send a message to the Magicians or to her deceased parents in Aston and tell them about her, since anything else might break her already fragile mind. The canal worker’s wife had had tears in her eyes when she had come to hug me after dinner. She said that the way I loved my fiancée was something extraordinary. The man had patted my back this morning and wished me well. He had also said that he understood very well why it was Hanna doing the steering instead of Kara. I smiled sadly at him even though I wanted to laugh aloud.

A part of me almost felt sorry for Kara, who hadn’t been able to fully hide the smug look on her face after her quick discussion with the canal manager’s wife. Almost. This was also a reminder for me about respect - respect the experience. I had no idea how hostile the environment inside the theater was while Hanna was working there but working there and being successful in her profession must have taught her a thing or two. Besides that, she still was an excellent actress. My grandmother. My adopted grandmother. I just couldn’t decide if she was absolutely brilliant or totally nuts - or both.

Four days, and almost uncountable number of locks later, we were approaching one of the major inland cities of the Kingdom. Humford. I remembered that I had heard the name when I had been a child and my mother had taught me some Geography. My mother. I sighed internally since, in a way, this was all her doing. Something she had started but had not been able to finish. I hoped that I would be able to do that - even if it was going to end in a different way than what she’d had in mind.

We had seen some other barges and boats going downstream, some on the canal and some in the nearby river. Since the canals weren’t frozen and it seemed that they might stay open for some time, the traffic continued after the new year holidays. Each time some people or boat approached us, both Hanna and I could see Kara’s hopes rise up - only to notice that nothing happened. No one came to save her. Not her family, nor a group of fighting Magicians. I didn’t say anything but I wondered if what would really happen - would anybody come after her if they knew that she was alive or would they just be happy because of the loss of a rival inside a family or among Magicians. However, if possible, I would not have wanted to find out, since I was sure that nobody was expected to get out of those ‘Dark Floors’ alive and Kara being alive would raise too many questions.

When we were having our dinner in the cabin, I cleared my throat and looked at both Hanna and Kara.

“After tomorrow we will continue with this single barge. First, I need to confirm our trip to the North-West river branch or tributary at the Canal Administration office. Then you, Hanna, could go and try to get some better clothes for Kara. The weather has been good to us, but it can change any moment and if that happens more warm clothes are needed. I’ll take Kara shopping the following day and then I’ll also get some more clothes for myself... - and before you ask, Kara: No, you haven’t really earned our trust, yet. Even though I hope that you will, someday. I understand that it’s not so easy to accept that you have changed and that your former friends would now see you as an enemy - or even more likely as a test subject, something to play with.”

What little I was able to read from Kara’s face wasn’t anything too promising. We had slept in the same hammock - just slept - and exchanged a few words every now and then. Our social interaction had even gone down from the level it had reached during our first night together, now that she’d had time to think about her situation. During the nights, I still had an occasional hard-on and she ignored them the best she could even if she couldn’t have avoided sensing them.

I could have used my Magical skills and tried to persuade Kara to like me, but somehow it didn’t feel right. Then there was also the fact that I had no idea about her new Magical skills and possible specialties. The little I had managed to read in the books I had stolen from the University Library had already suggested that natural Human Mages all had somewhat different skills - and very unpredictable special skills. Most likely that was also true with Kara - but I couldn’t just ask her what her specialty was! As long as I didn’t know that, I would need to be extra careful with Magic while she was close.

The look on Kara’s face didn’t give away much, but from the little I saw, it was easy to tell that she wasn’t convinced. I shrugged.

“Kara, the sooner you accept that you have changed, the easier it will be for you.”

“Why should I trust you? After all, you forced me to come with you - and when it comes to saving my life, I only have your word about it.”

The way she said that told me that she believed that herself - almost. Those years with all those Elven women had taught me a thing or two about what was being said and what was meant. Kara seriously wanted to believe that, but a part of her probably knew differently. I didn’t say anything but created two magic sparkles. Two small balls on the small table that looked a bit like dewdrops. Lightly shining dewdrops. I raised my gaze and looked at Kara.

“You see them, don’t you Kara? Hanna, do you see anything here?”

Hanna shook her head. “No, I just saw that you wiped the desk with your hand. What should I see? What did you put there?”

“Magic - almost pure magic made visible to magic users. Please, give me your hand, Hanna.”

When I had Hanna’s hand in mine, I used her hand to wipe those magic droplets. Her hand passed the first one but absorbed the second one, as I had planned.

“It was ... It was like my fingers tingled a bit, but only for a moment.”

I smiled slightly and turned my gaze to Kara. “Now Kara, do you dare do try?”

I hadn’t quite followed Kara’s reaction as I had guided Hanna’s hand through the sparkles, but here had been a small gasp when she realized what had happened. To tell the truth, I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to achieve with this, but I did know that I was tired of her denial that anything had changed. Suddenly the look on Kara’s face hardened and she lifted her hand.

“Whatever!” Her voice was again the voice of an arrogant Magic student, someone on her way to become an equally arrogant Magician. That lasted a few moments after her hand had cleared the desk and absorbed the second sparkle.

Maybe it was that those sparkles were the first magic thing ever I managed to create. Maybe it was something I inherited from the foreign creature - which wasn’t that likely. As it was, I had just managed to create the first human-affecting sparkles on my own. Well, after absorbing some of the sparkles the creature had left behind, so maybe it came from there. I had no way of knowing. However, after that, I had created several sparkles while hunting and since then, I had been practicing making those sparkles with the Elves. Only we hadn’t really figured out that many practical ways of using them. Besides luring rabbits. Maybe this was a way to use those sparkles. Remains to be seen if it was for good or bad.

At first, Kara’s face showed some surprise when she felt the little tingle while absorbing the sparkle. Then, without any warning, she started getting the feelings or experiences I had stored in that sparkle. I have no idea how the magic really worked or why it worked that way. Right now, I didn’t really care. In a way it was just like copying what I had felt in the leftover sparkles of the creature’s attack when she felt the things I had now stored in that sparkle. All the feelings and experiences from the moment when I believed that Kara had died, to when I managed to save her - somehow. All mixed together. So, it wasn’t quite the same. There had been quite a lot of gore after the attack of the creature. And there was quite a lot of frustration and anger.

Maybe that wasn’t all fair, or not fair at all - but this phase of total denial had lasted long enough with Kara.

The surprise on Kara’s face didn’t disappear immediately, but gradually there were other, conflicting feelings shown on her face. Fear, disbelief, anger. I could understand all of them. I’d had months, even years, to get familiar with this, but instead of learning to become a power user of magic, a feared Magician, she now was a natural Mage. Now she was someone she had been taught to fear. Gone was the availability to choose when to use your magic, since now the magic was an integral part of her.

On the other hand, Kara now had no need to slowly burn her mind with those drugs the Magicians needed for their magic, but I didn’t really believe that she would think about that now.

Then, without any warning, Kara hid her eyes behind her hands and burst out crying. I didn’t quite know how I was supposed to react to that, but it turned out that there was no need, since Hanna was there, hugging the younger woman and whispering something in her ear. I decided that it was a good time to go outside and check the surroundings even though I could tell that there was nobody close to us. I decided to put my sparkles to good use and I took some twine from the deck and took a few steps towards the bushes ashore. I knew that there were some rabbits there, and it had been way too long ago since I had last made some stew myself.

“You really did save my life - or wake me from death, didn’t you?”

Hanna was already snoring lightly when Kara whispered the question in my ear when we were lying side by side in the larger hammock.

“Truthfully, I don’t really know. But I do remember that I didn’t want you to die.”

“Why? Don’t tell me that it was about some promise.”

“But there was that promise ... but back then, it all felt so unfair. Something that should not have happened when we finally got there. Out of the Library, I mean.”

“Or you just could have used your magic to create that ... that image to mess up with my head.”

I didn’t know now to answer that, so I remained silent. If she really didn’t want to believe me, there wasn’t much I could do about it without using my magic - which I didn’t want to do.

“Kara, do you at least believe that you are now a natural Mage?”

Kara didn’t say anything, but I was able to sense how her body stiffened and, instead of the steady breathing, there was a sudden sharp intake of air. I squeezed her hand lightly. “I didn’t plan that - but I’m not going to apologize for what I did, since that would be a lie.”

That sounded stupid even in my own ears since I had had no problems with lying or at least telling partial truths when it had suited my plans. Maybe I just felt a bit sorry for Kara. Or maybe I was afraid that she might have the same skill as Linnea has and therefore she might be able to tell if I’m lying or not. I decided that the reason didn’t matter, it was just easier to tell the truth and usually there wasn’t even any need to tell the whole truth, as the people you were talking to make their own assumptions and filled in the rest according to their own beliefs. Still, I was bit annoyed about the fact that I didn’t really like to lie to Kara.

“I ... should I feel different?”

“Don’t ask me, I was born like I am. I don’t know any different. Do you feel any different - besides being able to see and absorb those magic sparkles?”

Instead of answering, Kara turned over so that her back was now against me. Maybe this was a sort of a victory. At least I might have got her thinking and she might even accept the fact that she was now a natural Mage. Might. At least it should make her think twice before trying to contact the Magicians again.

The following morning I collected two fat rabbits from the hastily prepared snares I had made last evening and soon those two rabbits were hanging inside the storage area of the barge. At least I hadn’t forgotten how to dress game. Then, after a quick wash with icy cold water, I was back in the cabin for some breakfast Hanna - and Kara - had prepared.

I didn’t fall down on my ass, quite. Up to this moment, Kara had been more or less useless and Hanna had prepared everything we had been eating - everything thus far. I reminded myself to really be on my toes for the next few days, since I didn’t really believe that Kara had changed. Not for a moment.

I spent most of the morning in the office by the canal, trying to get our North-West transportation arranged, but for some reason everything seemed very difficult with the guy working there. Dropping off the second barge wasn’t an issue but getting us a tow suddenly seemed very problematic or at least slow. Only when I threatened to send the mail back to Aston - where I had checked that all the traffic routes would be available and I had that agreement written and with me - did things change. I could have paid for the whole trip in Aston, but I hadn’t wanted to leave an easy trail. I had just claimed that from here, I would go where the company would send me - where they would think we could get the best profit - and this was the place to select the new route. All of the routes were promised to be available.

Finally, I got a deal in which we agreed that we would be leaving within two days - if the weather allowed. I walked out of the small building thinking that I didn’t really like the guy behind the desk. He had been quite unwilling to help, but also way too curious about our cargo.

It was early afternoon when Hanna came back from town, looking tired. I stopped her and took the things she was carrying.

“Hanna, you’ll spend the next nights in a boarding house. You’ll have a nice dinner and then you’ll sleep in a real bed. No arguments!”

Of course there were arguments, but even I could tell that Hanna was happy to go there and sleep in a real bed, in a warm room, so she didn’t resist too much. Since there was no hurry to leave the city, we also agreed that Kara and I might do some shopping the following day and we would stay here, in the barge. Hanna would take some of our clothes with her and make sure that they could get cleaned before we would continue our trip. As we were going to be stay here for two days, there was no reason why Hanna would need to suffer. Besides that, there was another reason why I wanted to have her in a safe place. In fact, I would have sent Kara with her if I just fully trusted Kara. If only. If ever. There was that flash in those amber eyes when she thought nobody was watching her. She didn’t know that both Elise and Frode had pointed out to me how useful mirrors, or any reflecting surfaces, were while doing business inside a house. Why did everybody think that you were looking out if you stood by the window?