Chapter 1: Chloe Lets Things Slip

As she said, ‘Job.’ Chloe stopped dead, horrified. ‘Oh dear, I shouldn’t have said anything about that. I think I’d better go.’

‘That is up to you,’ Lewis told her, ‘But please put your head back on my shoulder and listen to me for a moment first.’ She didn’t need much persuading to do that, she settled back into his arms.

‘All you’ve told me is that your boyfriend raped you,’ Lewis said. ‘I’d already guessed that by your reaction to my massage. Of course, your boyfriend has a job, and few employers would want a rapist on their staff. Even if you had told me what his job was, it wouldn’t have made any difference. I’ve already promised not to divulge anything you tell me.’

‘But you haven’t told me what his job is. So, there is no reason why you can’t carry on and get even more relaxed. You were doing so well that it would be a shame to stop now. If you carry on, I’m still not going to ask you about the rapes, or his job. We’ll just carry on finding out all about you and getting you even more relaxed. You’re already far more relaxed than you thought was possible, aren’t you?’

‘Yes,’ Chloe answered after a moment’s thought, ‘A lot more.’ As they spoke, Chloe realised that although she had just told Lewis she had been raped twice, the idea that he knew about it wasn’t embarrassing her. She found that astounding.

He’s clearly got something special she thought, qualifications or not. I don’t want to carry on letting the past spoil my life, Lewis could be the answer. Her decision now made, she said firmly, ‘I’d like to carry on trying please.’

‘Well done,’ Lewis said and kissed the top of her head. It was the first male kiss she had had since the rapes, except for her dad. Far from upsetting her it made her feel warm inside. She lifted her head and looked at him. ‘That was a nice gesture,’ she told him, ‘Thank you.’

Lewis smiled at her, ‘There you go, you’re conquering the past already, was that your first kiss from a man since it happened?’ ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you try giving one now?’ Lewis asked. She was startled, ‘You mean...?’ ‘Yes, if you feel able to, it will be good for you and I’m sure we’d both enjoy it.’

Almost in a dream she moved her mouth towards Lewis’s. As they made contact an amazing sensation flowed through her. They kissed briefly then Lewis broke away. ‘That was nice,’ he said, ‘Now if you feel up to it, do it properly.’ Chloe didn’t hesitate. She kissed him firmly and as Lewis responded they had a long passionate kiss.

When they broke apart this time, Lewis told her, ‘I didn’t feel any reservation that time, that’s a big step in the right direction towards your recovery. Now as you tell me more and more about what happened to you, you might get upset. If you need a hug or a kiss or both, just take one any time you need one, ok?’

‘Ok.’ she answered thinking to herself, ‘I hope I need one soon.’ ‘Lie down again now,’ Lewis said, ‘Then we’ll try again.’ She lay down without any hesitation. As Lewis massaged her temples, she was starting to think that perhaps this amazing young lad might just be the one to solve it for her.

‘Go.’ she said without being asked. As Lewis moved down to massage her shoulders he said, ‘Don’t worry about saying stop. After a bad experience it’s always difficult when you’re touched in the same spot. And by another man who you’ve only just met. Just keep trying but don’t frighten yourself, it’ll happen soon enough. Say stop as many times as you need to, there’s no limit, no rush.’ His soothing voice and lack of pressure made her relax even more.

As he massaged over her breasts, this time she was purely enjoying the feeling and felt amazed how nice she was finding it. ‘Carry on when you can.’ Lewis told her.

‘Three months later we er, fell out,’ Chloe told him looking nervous again. ‘I decided I didn’t like being on my own anymore, so I moved back in with my mum and dad. Then when Mary came to work with us six months later, I moved in with her.’

As he massaged her flat stomach, Lewis asked, ‘Just a yes or no will do for the moment. Am I right in thinking the boyfriend you fell out with is the only cause of your problem?’

‘Yes,’ Chloe answered as a shiver ran through her at the memory. ‘Will I really be able to get rid of the memories?’ she asked. ‘Yes, definitely.’ Lewis said smiling at her, ‘I’m sure you’ll soon be in a new and happy relationship.’

As he moved up onto the front of her jeans he asked, ‘What was your absolutely worse memory of school?’ That took her by surprise, and she thought back. Then she said, ‘I’d forgotten all about it. When I was in my first year at secondary school there was a boy who took a shine to me.’

‘I didn’t even like him. I had no particular reason for that, but when he asked me out, I said no several times. About six weeks after the term started, he came into our classroom one day and started screaming and ranting about how I hated him, and he was going to kill himself. I would be responsible.’ he screamed.’

‘Our teacher took a firm hold of him and marched him out. I discovered later he had been taken away and was undergoing some sort of mental treatment. He didn’t return, and we never saw or heard of him again. I was shaken but when the teacher returned, he told us that it wasn’t my fault he had just picked me to blame.’

‘That’s quite right,’ Lewis said, ‘Now look where my hands are.’ Chloe looked down and saw he was massaging her ankles. ‘I’m about to start moving back up.’ Lewis told her. He watched her face as realisation came that he must have massaged all over the front of her jeans on the way down.

‘Yes,’ Lewis said, ‘I massaged every inch on the way down. It didn’t register because you weren’t thinking about being raped, you just felt a relaxing hand on you. Because you were thinking about school you didn’t panic.’

‘Try and remember that my hands didn’t hurt you or even upset you as I come back up. Just let your senses react to what you feel, not what you remember.’ He smiled at her and said, ‘Carry on.’ as he moved up her legs.

Chloe resumed her tale. ‘A few days later he asked me if I was ok. I said yes and asked what had happened to the boy. ‘His parents came and collected him,’ he told me, ‘As far as I know he’s in a special hospital now.’

‘How did you get on with the other boys in the rest of your time at school?’ Lewis asked as he massaged up the front of her thighs. ‘There were no more problems,’ Chloe said, ‘But whether it was me or the memory of what had happened, I always felt there was some reservation between us.’

‘It wasn’t until the last year at secondary school when James arrived that I had a boy who I could really call a friend. I put it that way because he was just that, a good friend, never my boyfriend.’

‘But you would have liked him to be?’ Lewis said. ‘Yes,’ she answered blushing, ‘But by then I was so used to keeping to myself I probably didn’t give him the right signals. So, although he was a really good friend, he never tried to become anything else.’

‘Did he ever kiss you?’ Lewis asked. ‘Only once,’ she said her face lighting up as she remembered it. ‘It was the leaving do at school the day we were finishing. We spent most of the afternoon and early evening together talking. Then towards the end of the night he said, ‘I’ll miss you. I hope you find a good job and have a happy life.’ ‘You too.’ I told him.’

‘Chloe, look at where my hands are.’ Lewis said. She looked down and saw he was massaging her stomach. As she looked surprised, he told her, ‘Yes, I’ve massaged every inch again.’ She had been having some lovely feelings as she had been reliving the memory of James at school. She had assumed it was that, but now she wondered if it could have been Lewis’s touch on her jeans.

Lewis watched her face as she worked it all out. ‘I’ve massaged the front of your jeans twice,’ Lewis told her. ‘Both times you have shown no adverse reaction to it, so you are well aware that it didn’t hurt you or upset you. I’m going to go back down to the top of your thighs and come back up again. I want you to pause in your story whilst I do it. Just concentrate on watching my hands, relaxing, and I hope enjoying the sensation it gives you.’