Chapter 6: Rapes Lasting Terror

‘Something else you might like to know about problems,’ Lewis said, ‘They never ever go away on their own. Usually if you ignore them, they just get worse. Now, he pointed to the settee, you know where to go if you want to try. You also know where the door is. No one else can decide for you. Take as much time as you like, there’s no pressure.’

Lewis took his phone out and opened it. He pretended to read through his text messages. He hadn’t got far when Margery stood up. He deliberately didn’t look up. Only when he heard the settee squeak, did he put his phone away.

Looking over at the settee, he saw Margery sitting in the middle of the settee taking her shoes off. He stood up and went over to stand about three feet away. ‘Lie down on your back with your head on the cushion.’ he instructed.

Once she was settled Lewis pointed to the side of the settee, ‘Are you ok if I sit at the side just here?’ he asked. ‘Yes,’ she said sounding very unsure and nervous. ‘There are three things you need to do to solve any problem,’ he told her. ‘The first is to admit to yourself that you do have a problem. You have already done that otherwise you wouldn’t be here.’

‘The second thing is to have the desire and the strength to do something about it. You have done that too, by coming today and deciding to stay.’

‘The third thing is to stay to the end and solve your problem. That can be done but no one can do it for you. I can guide you and help you then solve it. But I can’t succeed without your full cooperation.’

‘So, this how we start. In a moment I’ll ask you to turn over on your front. Then I will ask you questions about your life so far. That will let me find out all about you and get you used to telling me about yourself.’

‘At the same time, I will massage your back from your head to your feet and back again. That will start to relax you and make you feel at ease with me.’

‘When you first turn over, I will rest my hands on your head and massage gently. I won’t move from that spot or ask any questions, until you feel comfortable enough to say ‘Go.’

‘Do you think you can manage to try that?’ he asked smiling at her. ‘I don’t know,’ she answered honestly. ‘Part of my problem is a fear of being touched by a man.’ ‘Believe me,’ Lewis said, ‘That is not in the least unusual. Although it does make it even more important that you learn it will not harm you, providing it’s done by someone you trust.’

‘I want to try,’ Margery said with feeling, ‘But I don’t know if I can.’ ‘I know it’s not easy for you,’ Lewis told her, ‘But for your own sake, you have to try. Your problem must be serious, otherwise you wouldn’t be here at all. Solving it isn’t going to be any easier to do wherever you go.’

‘Just try and relax. Take your time and turn over when you feel ready. Remember there’s no limit on how many times you can say stop.’

He sat still, his arms at his side and smiling at her.

Margery looked up at him, he had seemed nice from first meeting. For all his age, he sounded as if he knew what he was talking about. He had a disarming smile, and she was already feeling confident that if she said stop, he would do just that.

Thinking of Alison’s glowing recommendation and how miserable her life had been since she acquired her problem, she came to the conclusion she’d be daft not to try. She took another few moments to pluck up courage, then turned over.

‘Well done,’ Lewis told her. ‘I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, ‘Every journey starts with a single step.’ Or in your case a single turn,’ he added. Lewis didn’t see it, but it brought a brief smile to Margery’s face.

‘I’m going to put my hands on your head now,’ Lewis said. ‘When you say go and I start down, if you need to say stop, I’ll just return to your head right away and start again.’

As he finished speaking, he rested both hands gently on the back of her head. He massaged gently as he felt her tense up. Staying in one spot he felt her start to relax a little. It was quite a while before he felt her relax completely. Then another spell before a nervous sounding. ‘Go.’ was heard.

He kept massaging on her head for a moment or two, keeping moving round a little. Then as he moved down onto her shoulders he said, ‘I know you’re not supposed to ask a lady this, but can you tell me your age?’

He had felt her start to tense up again as his hands touched her shoulders, then the question was so simple it completely threw her. He felt her relax immediately as she answered, ‘I’m twenty-seven.’

‘There you go,’ Lewis said, ‘You’ve answered your first question. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to answer all the others just as easily.’ He had massaged down her back as he spoke. As he massaged her waist he asked, ‘Tell me about what sort of house you lived in during your last year at school and who lived there with you.’

‘I lived in an average three bedroomed semi-detached house.’ she said as his hand moved up onto her cheeks. There didn’t seem to be any tension and she continued, ‘I lived with my mum and dad and my grandad.’ she was puzzled at the questions, they were nothing like she had expected.

As he started down the back of her legs he asked, ‘How did you all get on with each other?’ ‘They were all lovely,’ she said. ‘Mum and dad were kind and loving, we rarely fell out over anything. My Grandad was lovely too. He was old and infirm but a lovely person. Nothing was ever too much trouble for him.’

On his way back up he asked, ‘So where have you lived since you left school?’ ‘I left school at seventeen,’ she said. ‘I lived at home for a year, then my Grandad died. Soon after that I got a new job in the office of a mail order firm.’

‘I stayed at home for a year after that, then I was offered promotion. But if I took it, I would have to move to the office local to here. It was too far for daily travel, so I came over and stayed in a guest house for a few days. Then I had a look around at where I would be working.’

As he massaged over her cheeks again, there was still no reaction. She felt so relaxed it seemed strange given her assertion about her fear of being touched.

‘When I was being shown around the building where I would be working,’ she continued, ‘I saw a big communal notice board. There was an advert on it for a flat share with another girl. I made a note of the number.’

‘That evening I rang the number and went round to see it. She was a year older than me and seemed very nice. After getting all the information about rent etc, I told her I was interested, but it would depend on if I took the job.’

Lewis reached her head again. Gave it a brief massage and taking his hands away, he said, ‘Turn over.’

She turned over and settled on her back. He smiled at her. ‘You’re doing really well,’ he said. ‘Now I’m going to go down your front just the same. With more questions of course.’ He noticed she looked scared but as he put his hands on her head, she didn’t say anything. He massaged briefly, then moved to her temples. ‘Carry on with your story and just say go when you feel ready.’ he told her.

‘She said she would hold it for me for two days and I promised to let her know.’ She continued, ‘I went back to the B&B and spent the rest of the evening deciding what to do. The promotion meant an increase in pay plus the prospect of further promotion in future. The flat and the girl looked great, but it would mean moving away from home.’

She paused and looked at him, she had felt scared when she arrived, but she had coped with the massage on her back, in fact it had been quite pleasant. She was starting to feel safe with him too. But the thought of a massage on the front terrified her. Lewis realised she was trying to make a decision, so he just carried on massaging her temples and smiling at her.

Margery made her choice. ‘Go,’ she said firmly. Then as Lewis moved down onto her shoulders she continued, ‘I went back home the following day and talked it over with my mum and dad.’ Lewis could hear the strain in her voice, and she looked terrified. He was ready the second his hands moved lower as she panicked and shouted, ‘Stop.’