Chapter 4: Starting His Life Anew

‘We went to Lincoln Prison first where we had some lunch and a toilet stop. I think we picked up a few more passengers too.’

‘From there we went up to a prison in Yorkshire. The prison didn’t look much different to the others, but it had more fresh paint and because of our age we had a cell to ourselves. That was such a relief. Within a few days I also realised that the staff were much friendlier and happy to chat to you.’

‘It was difficult for our families having to come such a distance to visit but of all the options it was definitely the best place to be. From then on, my only suffering was being locked up, life was otherwise bearable.’

‘Eventually it came to an end, and I came home. It felt very strange to be free once more. My family had always been supportive and that continued. I know my younger brother took some stick at school, but he never complained.’

‘After the initial excitement of being home again, I started to think about a job. But that meant going for interviews and telling them what I had done. I started to sink into my own shell and do everything I could to avoid it.’

‘A few people had called at home to say hello which was nice, but I felt a bit like an exhibit. I began to think everyone would be talking about me. On the occasions I went out, I became obsessed about people looking at me.’

‘I soon started staying at home a lot. If I went out it would be for long walks in deserted parks and countryside. When I got benefits and they started pushing me to apply for jobs, I didn’t get any interviews. I presumed because I had been honest and put on my form that I had recently come out of prison.’

‘Then one day the dole office arranged an interview on my behalf. I was terrified at the idea, but I went. I got to the front door of the firm, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go in. When the dole found out I hadn’t attended they stopped my dole for six weeks.’

‘I’m just coming to the end of those six weeks. Then I met Keith the other day who was not only working, but he was looking very happy.’ He came to an end, took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He gave a brief smile at Lewis.

‘That’s quite a story,’ Lewis said. ‘Now you have shared every intimate detail with me, you will start to put it behind you. We have some more work to do together yet, but you’ve done the hardest part now. Sit up.’ he said.

Lewis moved back to the edge of the settee and hugged him. ‘When you came home,’ Lewis told him, ‘You had served your punishment. Your new life should have started then. We’ll dissect what went wrong and look at your experiences shortly. But today is day one of your new start. You will go from here, get a job and be happy.’

‘I’m not saying it will be easy, or that you will succeed at your first attempt. But you will feel able to try and persistence will bring success.’ Dave hugged him tight then kissed him. ‘That sounds wonderful,’ he said, ‘I do hope so.’

Lewis moved back to the end of the settee and Dave lay back down. ‘There are two things we need to deal with,’ Lewis said. ‘Your natural fears and concerns as well as the experiences of being raped. That was not intended to be part of your punishment, nor should it have been.’

‘First let’s look at your fears. Yes, when you came home you were a novelty. Your return reminded everyone who knew you what you had done. When they saw you out and about, they would have done a double take and looked at you. If they were with someone, or they bumped into someone soon after, they would have probably said, ‘I’ve just seen Dave, he must be out of prison. You remember he was part of that gang who raided the electrical shop on the estate.’

‘That’s a normal reaction for most people. You may have even done it yourself in the past. But those same people, once they had seen you a couple of times would have lost interest and just seen you as someone they know. All the people who you passed who didn’t know you beforehand, still wouldn’t have known who you where or what you had done. If they noticed you at all, it would be just as a person passing by.’

‘But you blew those things up in your mind until they took over control of you. Now I have explained all that, you can overcome it. But I can’t do that part for you. You have to accept that there will always be a few people who will look down on you for what you did. But most people won’t give a hoot. Most people who knew you before will have said to themselves, ‘He’s not like that he must have been pushed into it,’ or, ‘It could happen to anyone.’

‘To them you are now just someone they know who is rebuilding their life. In a very short time, they will have forgotten about it. Unless of course you keep reminding them by your actions. If you remain unemployed for instance and live off your parents, people will wonder why. Then they might say, ‘Ah yes, him. He got into trouble didn’t he, he probably can’t get a job.’

‘Now let’s look at jobs. In the eyes of the law and in a few other people’s eyes you are a burglar and a thief. There’s nothing you can do about that except prove to them that is all behind you. However, you have to accept that it will stop you getting some types of jobs. In a bank for example.’ he said with a grin.

‘But you will find that many employers will give you a chance. The majority of people work on the principle of, ‘I’ll treat you how you treat me.’ But if you really have difficulty telling a prospective employer about your past, you simply need to look at jobs where no one is bothered and won’t ask. For example, on a building site.’

‘It doesn’t matter if you like the job or not. After six months you will have someone to give you an up-to-date reference so you can then apply for something else’

‘How did you leave the job you had?’ ‘I went to prison,’ Dave said sounding puzzled. ‘Yes, but how did your employer know?’ Lewis asked. ‘My dad rang up to tell them once I was arrested.’ he said. ‘Have you contacted them since?’ Lewis asked. ‘No,’ he replied. ‘So tomorrow you call in and see your old boss. You apologise for letting him down and tell him you were stupid to do what you did.’

‘Ask him if there is any chance of another job and take anything he offers. If he says no, you’re no worse off than you are now but at least you have tried. You will also have had practice at an interview type situation but with someone who knows where you’ve been. If he sounds sympathetic, you could also ask him for a reference for the period you worked there.’

‘Also have a talk with Keith and see what he did, I’m sure he’ll help you too.’

‘But remember when you are filling in applications or attending an interview, don’t lie. It’s no good getting a job where you are looking over your shoulder all the time wondering if they will find out. But if the application form or the interviewer doesn’t ask you specifically, they’re probably not interested. There is no obligation on you to divulge it.’

‘When you meet someone new, talk to them happily. They don’t know what you did and there’s no need to tell them. Lots of people have a skeleton in their cupboard.’

‘Now, let’s look at the rapes. They should never have happened, but they did. Nothing can undo them, but we can get them out of your memory and stop your bad dreams.’

‘Really?’ Dave asked his face lighting up. Then he asked. ‘How did you know I’d been having bad dreams?’ ‘I’ve counselled others who have been raped,’ Lewis said, ‘Bad dreams are a normal result.’

‘Think back to you and Dillon firing each other,’ he said. ‘Remember how enjoyable it was. Now imagine if you hadn’t done that. What if the other two in your prison cell had forced you to let them fire you and then made you fire them. It would have seemed terrible to you.’

‘Then imagine that you and Dillon hadn’t been so shy. Imagine that you had fired each other a second time, but this time you did each other at the same time. That would have been nice too, wouldn’t it?’ ‘Yes,’ Dave said remembering that he had once dreamt about that happening.

‘If you had done that a few times and grown even closer,’ Lewis said, ‘You would in all probability moved on to try sucking each other. You would have enjoyed feeling Dillon’s cock in your mouth because you like Dillon. He would have only put it in your mouth because you said it was ok. He wouldn’t have forced you.’

‘Likewise, when you felt Dillon’s mouth around your own cock, you would have enjoyed it, as would he, for the same reason.’ As he spoke, he felt Dave’s cock starting to grow with thinking about it. He moved his hand down and held it gently as it throbbed in his hand.

‘Now, imagine you had sucked each other, then you had done it to each other at the same time. By now you were both used to seeing each other naked and erect. Both of you by then were used to running your hands all over the others naked body. You’d be completely at ease with each other. Just as you are with me now,’ he said grinning as Dave’s hard cock throbbed vigorously in his hand.

‘The next thing you would have thought about trying, would have been putting your cocks up each other’s bums. But neither you, nor Dillon, would have dreamt of forcing the other one. It would only have happened if you had both wanted to do it.’

‘Now, let’s suppose for the moment that you had decided between you that Dillon was going to go up your bum first. You would have thought about it and decided to give it a try. You would have played with each other naked and got excited. Dillon would have oiled your bum and his cock so that he would slide into you easily.’

‘Then you would have got into whatever position you had chosen. Dillon would have put his tip against your bum. You would have felt it touch with great excitement. As he pressed very, very, gently against you, he would start sliding slowly and carefully up your bum. He would be alert for you calling out stop if you felt any discomfort.’