Chapter 3: The Churches Shame

‘A forensic examination of the condoms will show Father O’Brien’s sperm in one and Bishop O’Donovan’s sperm in the other. The outside of both condoms will have fluid from my vagina on them.’

‘Both priests now had their heads in their hands. ‘Is there anything else?’ the Bishop asked. Father O’Brien threatened that if I told anyone what had happened, he would speak to my parents and have me sent away to some sort of terrible school. I am happy for you to deal with this privately, but I want it made clear that any attempt to do anything like that and I’ll go straight to the police and the newspapers.’

‘I can assure you that that will not happen,’ the Bishop said. ‘After today you will never see these two again.’ He got up, ‘I’ll see you out,’ he said, so I followed him back to his car. ‘I assume you don’t want a lift home,’ he said, ‘Thank you again for letting me deal with it, God be with you my child.’

‘I now know for sure that there is no God,’ I told him. ‘No God would allow someone my age to go through what I did, let alone at the hands of his own ministers. I will never set foot in a church again.’ As I was about to walk away, he said, ‘Can I keep the evidence for my higher ups.’ I gave him my package and walked home.

Lewis had stroked her head throughout. As she stopped talking, he said, ‘I think you handled that very well. How did you feel afterwards?’ ‘For a while I had nightmares remembering what they had done,’ she told him, ‘Then because I was still watching my crime series on Tv, I thought to myself well it could have been so much worse. At least they both ignored the teachings of their own church and wore condoms, plus they didn’t harm me physically. I didn’t realise at that time that it would give me problems with a boyfriend as there were none in sight at that time.’

‘Did your parents ever find out?’ he asked. ‘No,’ she said. ‘However, when they came back from church the following weekend, I heard them talking about the new priest. When I asked them about it, they said that Father O’Brien had moved on to a new parish. When I asked where they said no one seemed to know. I didn’t ask any more I assumed they had been unfrocked and dismissed.’

‘I had often refused to go to church, but I had gone occasionally under pressure. But next time it arose I was adamant that I would not go, nor would I ever go again. Both parents were horrified, ‘But you have to,’ they said, ‘You’ve been confirmed!’ Well as of now I’m unconfirming myself.’ I told them.

‘God will be very angry with you,’ they said, ‘You’ll burn in hell when you die.’ ‘No, I won’t.’ I said, ‘If there is a God, which I very much doubt, I can pray to him on my own, I don’t need any church to do that.’

‘How did they take that?’ Lewis asked. ‘They couldn’t really argue with that,’ she told him, ‘But they threatened and cajoled for ages. What about confession?’ they asked. ‘I have no intention of doing anything that I need to confess about,’ I told them. ‘If in the event that I did I’ll confess to God if I want to, not some idiot priest who knows nothing about the world. ‘What about getting married?’ was their last try. I’m thirteen,’ I said, ‘That is hardly an issue at present. When the time comes, I’ll happily live in sin. I didn’t mean that, I would want to get married, but a registry office would do nicely.’

‘That seemed to end it then, they finally accepted I was a lost cause.’

‘How did they treat you after that?’ Lewis asked. ‘Mum would look at me sometimes and burst into tears, but when I went and hugged her, she was always ready to hug back. But there was definitely a different atmosphere around me.’

‘Did the church or your attackers ever crop up again?’ Lewis asked. ‘Just once,’ Gwen told him. ‘A year later I heard mum talking to dad and mention Father O’Brien. I pricked my ears up naturally and listened. Mum was telling him that her friend at church had gone on holiday and visited the local church. There she had met Father O’Brien who was now a Bishop.’

‘I was horrified to learn that the church had not only kept him on as a priest but had promoted him. I couldn’t believe it. I rang the Bishop the next afternoon. I got the same lady who remembered me.’ ‘He’s not here anymore,’ she told me, ‘They get moved around a lot. Can I help?’

‘I told her about what my mum’s friend had told us.’ ‘I shouldn’t say this,’ she said, ‘But I had heard about it. The Bishop was horrified about it and made a fuss to the Archbishop. Actually, I think that’s why he got moved.’ ‘I was amazed and horrified to hear the news,’ I told her, ‘What worries me most is knowing he could now be doing the same thing to someone else.’ Ah I can help you there,’ she said, ‘I’m pretty sure the Bishop had a word with someone in his new area and told them to keep an eye on him.’ ‘She asked me how I had coped since. I said I was fine and thanked her for asking.’

‘After we’d hung up, I realised that she was the first person connected to the church who had actually enquired after my welfare. I seethed about it all for a while then I decided it was getting me nowhere. There was nothing more I could do. The church had protected their own as always and they had all my evidence. I put it out of my mind, determined not to let it affect me.’

‘If the problem with Derek hadn’t come to light, it would have stayed buried.’ ‘You did a remarkable job of that,’ Lewis told her, ‘You are a very strong person. Now you have got it off your chest, you will truly be able to wipe it from your memory and move forward to a happy time with Derek.’

‘Sit up,’ he said. Lewis got up and came round to sit on the edge of the settee. He took her in his arms and held her tight. After they had hugged for a while, Lewis told her, ‘Think of the problem you have been having with Derek, then think of the situation you are in now, naked and in a man’s arms who has touched every inch of your body.’

‘Then think how happy and relaxed you feel. That means when you next get close to Derek, you will be able to lie together naked and enjoy the close contact. You have overcome a major hurdle. However, next you will want to make love with Derek. Obviously to do that Darek will handle your vagina then insert his cock into you. That should be an exciting and happy experience.’

‘But we need to make sure that when you do, that is how it is, with no hitches or upsets. Then we will have a final discussion about your experiences before we recall Derek to join you for the start of your new life.’

Gwen kissed him on his lips, ‘I’m so happy,’ she said, ‘I know for sure now that when we finish here, it will be exactly as you say.’ ‘Lie down again,’ Lewis told her. Once she was settled, he smiled at her and said, ‘What happened to you was disgraceful, but you had the right attitude to it and have coped with it.’

‘Let’s forget the church and just look at what you experienced. An older man touched you in places he shouldn’t inside and outside your clothes. Then two older men had sex with you. Had you done all those things with Derek you would have enjoyed them. So, it is not what you did that is bad, it is the fact that you were forced to do it.’

‘In a moment we will check there is no long-lasting physical damage. Mentally I think you have already dealt with it perfectly. You were attacked. You retaliated, you recovered, you put it out of your mind and got on with your life. You learned a lot from it, and it has freed you from the restrictive control of the church. I believe the knowledge you gained will greatly improve your life in future.’

‘What I want to do now, with your consent, is to check inside your vagina. Both priests entered you when you were not worked up enough to produce any lubrication, so their entry and movement would be rough. Although the smooth condom should have prevented any damage. Father O’Brien also tore your membrane. I doubt there is any lasting damage as it’s normal in first time sex and had there been a problem it would have shown up long ago.’