Chapter 1: Sex in the Confessional

‘But it wasn’t as bad as previously.’ Gwen continued, ‘I just said, please stop in Derek’s ear. He took his hand out right away, bless him.’

‘I kissed him and said try again. He did with the same result. But I could tell the panic wasn’t as bad that time, so I told him to try once more. As his hand slid up my front, I felt excited again, then as his fingertips touched my bra I was hovering between excitement and fear.’

Lewis reached her waist and took hold of the front of her panties. After a short pause he lifted up and slid his hand inside. As he massaged her abdomen Gwen interrupted her story with some more ‘mmms.’

Gwen still in full swing continued, ‘Then just as his hand moved right up and rested fully on my breast with just my bra between us, I felt all my insides go funny. My fears disappeared completely as a wave of pleasure swept through me. I kissed him for ages as he just kept his hand still. My heart was beating so loud I’m sure he must have felt it.’

Lewis moved further down and massaged her tuft of hairs. As his fingertips moved over them Gwen moved her legs apart a little. Lewis slid his finger between her legs and stroked her hairs, accompanied by loud happy cries from Gwen. As he started to slide his hand out, Gwen lifted her hips up.

Lewis slid her panties down to her ankles, then putting his hands back on her waist as she relaxed down, he massaged her abdomen again, this time with nothing in the way. Gwen drew her knees up and apart so after a thorough massage of her hairs and between her legs, Lewis massaged down the inside of her thighs.

Gwen still going said, ‘As we broke for air, I nibbled his ear and told him That’s lovely, I love you so much. He kissed me again and moved his hand around, he caressed my breast and slid his hand over to do the same on my other breast. The feelings I was getting were wonderful, I could have stood there all night.’

‘Reluctantly we parted,’ she said. ‘I went in and Derek walked home.’

As Lewis reached her feet, he slipped her panties off altogether then smiled at her. ‘How do you feel now?’ he asked. ‘Astounded,’ she said. ‘I’m lying here naked with a man I’ve only just met and despite all my past terrors, I feel completely relaxed.’

‘Excellent,’ Lewis told her, ‘That means there is no doubt now, that when I get back to your head, we can sort out your problem.’ ‘Oh, I do hope so,’ Gwen said, ‘It would be lovely to get rid of it.’

As he started to massage up her legs, Lewis asked, ‘What happened next time.’ ‘We were back at school the following day,’ Gwen told him, ‘So a few days later we met up after school and went to McDonalds. Then we went for a walk in the park.’

‘After a while we found a secluded spot and sat on the grass leaning against a tree. We chatted for a while and Derek asked how I felt after last time. I told him it had been wonderful and that I would never ever forget it. We kissed for a while, then Derek slid his hand up inside my clothes and caressed my breasts over my bra.’

‘I loved it all the way through, no fear or reaction other than ecstasy. I really thought the problem had gone at that point. Then Derek moved his hand around my back. As his hand struggled to undo my bra, I felt so excited at the anticipation. When he finally managed it and I felt it go loose, I still felt excited.’

She stopped talking as Lewis reached the top of her thighs. As he massaged over her hairs including right down between her legs, she had her eyes closed and a lovely smile on her face. ‘I never thought I’d ever be able to let anyone touch down there again,’ she said. ‘Yet you make it feel so nice.’

As Lewis moved on up her stomach Gwen opened her eys and carried on. ‘As Derek’s hand moved back around the front and slid up my skin my excitement just grew and grew, but as soon as his fingertip touched my bare breast the terrors returned. No, no, stop. I called out, although nowhere near as urgently.’

‘Derek whipped his hand out and just held me tight, he was so kind. After a few minutes, I told him to try again. This time when his fingertips touched my bare breast, I just knew it was going to be ok. He slid his hand right up and held my breast. It felt so lovely. Seeing it was ok, he caressed it sending shivers through me.’

‘Are you ok?’ he asked feeling the shiver. ‘I’m fine I said, that was a shiver of pleasure. It’s a lovely feeling and I’d never have been able to enjoy it without your patience I told him.’

Lewis reached her breasts and massaged every inch of the soft bare skin, accompanied by lots of ‘mmms’ from Gwen then he reached her head and stopped. ‘Sit up he told her.’

Lewis took her in his arms and held her tight. She had put her head on his shoulder and felt completely at ease. ‘What happened next?’ Lewis asked quietly in her ear.

Keeping hold of him she said, ‘On Friday night, Derek’s parents were going out with some friends, so I went round to his. We had decided that we both wanted to make love, but I had warned Derek that I might not be able to.’

‘We went up and sat on the side of Derek’s bed. We kissed and he reached in and undid my bra. After he had caressed my breasts for a while, he lifted my top up at the front and kissed my breasts. It was wonderful, I was so happy and worked up. Then he kissed my nipples followed by giving them a suck. I had never felt so wonderful or so excited before.’

‘He kissed down my front from my breasts to my waist. Then he stood up, knelt down on the floor in front of me and kissed my jeans directly above my hairs. Suddenly all the happiness went like it had been switched off and all the terrors returned. I pushed his head away as I cried out, ‘No, no, never again.’

‘He got up looking both concerned and scared. As I calmed down, I stood up and took him in my arms. ‘Hold me, my love,’ I said, ‘I need you so much.’ He just stood there holding me to him. After a while I told him, ‘I had a bad experience a couple of years ago and it’s left its mark. It’s nothing you have done wrong,’ I told him, ‘You are being so patient.’

‘Can you tell me anything about what happened?’ he asked. I shuddered. ‘No, I couldn’t tell anyone.’ I said, ‘Especially someone I want so much to be close to.’ ‘Ok,’ he said, ‘Fasten up and let’s go downstairs. We’ll try again when you feel ready and perhaps after we’ve been together a bit longer.’ He gave me a hug and kissed me. ‘Then he said the most wonderful thing.’

‘I don’t care how long it takes,’ he said, ‘We’ll work it out together. One day soon we will make love and you can put everything else behind you.’ I cried on his shoulder I was so happy to know he wasn’t going to dump me.’

‘Then the following afternoon he called me and said he was coming to collect me to take me to meet someone he knew. When he did, he explained about you and said that when I met you, he felt sure I’d feel able to stop and talk to you alone. But if for any reason I didn’t, he said, I could leave with him and we’d think of something else.’

‘So that’s how I met you,’ she said. ‘I felt at ease with you right away and the rest you know.’ Lewis gave her a hug. As she lifted her head off his shoulder, he kissed her. They kissed for a few moments then Lewis said, ‘Stay sitting up.’ He got up and sat at the end of the settee. ‘Lie down with your head on my lap,’ he told her.

Once Gwen was settled, he smiled down at her. ‘You are very relaxed and at ease with me now,’ he said. ‘You are naked, and I have seen and touched every inch of your body, including your most private parts. You have told me all about yourself, your friends, your boyfriends and your desires as well as your attempts to get close to and make love with Derek.’