Chapter 7: The Boy Who Sat in Silence

Lewis started down again. As he moved, he asked, ‘Did you ever see him again after you moved?’ ‘No,’ she said sounding sad. Then as he moved over her breasts she said, ‘After I knew I was getting my flat, everything happened so quickly I never saw him to say goodbye.’ Whether her mind was elsewhere, or she had just accepted it, there was no reaction to his massage.

Moving on down her stomach Lewis asked, ‘Did you ever discuss the possibility of meeting up after you left?’ ‘No,’ she said, thinking about it, ‘We spoke very little in all that time, yet having him there meant so much to me.’ Reaching her waist, Lewis moved up onto her jeans again and started massaging. ‘Where there any other happy bits?’ he asked.

She thought for a moment then said, ‘No, not really, life was pretty mundane. Then as Lewis’s hands reached the area over her hairs, he felt her go very tense. He saw her open her mouth, but before she could say anything he had moved on to her thighs. She closed her mouth and relaxed.

As he went down her legs, Lewis asked, ‘Accepting that life then was pretty miserable anyway, how many occasions were there that you would think of as being really, really, bad?’

She was silent for a while as he reached her feet and started up again. Then as he reached her knees she said very quietly, ‘Just one.’ He felt her shiver as she spoke. ‘Sit up,’ Lewis told her. As she did, he opened his arms and said, ‘Let me give you a hug.’ She looked terrified for a moment then moved into his arms.

As he put his arms around her, she automatically rested her head on his shoulder. Her hands were by her side. Lewis just held her gently as he said, ‘Was that one occasion part of your problem?’ ‘Yes,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘Ok,’ Lewis said, ‘We won’t go there just yet, there’s a lot more relaxing needed before then. But thank you for being able to tell me that. When did you last have a hug that you enjoyed?’ he asked. ‘Before my mum died,’ she said then burst into tears.

Lewis held her a little firmer, stoking the back of her head with one hand. ‘Let it all out,’ he said, ‘Take as long as you like.’ They sat there for almost five minutes until her sobs subsided. As they eased off, she put her arms around him and held him tight. ‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘You’re so patient.’

‘Stay there as long as you like,’ Lewis said, ‘Then lie down when you’re ready.’ Once she lay back down, Lewis said, ‘Just a minute. He got up then returned with a damp flannel and a towel. After gently wiping her eyes and her face, he dried her off.

Sitting back on the edge of the settee, he smiled down at her. ‘I’m going to continue up from your feet,’ he told her, ‘But not until you say ‘Go’. Taking hold of her feet he started massaging them without moving up.

He deliberately didn’t look at her face, just concentrated on her feet. Soon she said, ‘Go,’ this time quite plainly. He smiled at her and started up her legs. ‘Tell me everything you remember about the boy in the garden,’ he told her.

‘He was shorter than you,’ she said, ‘He didn’t look particularly strong, but he was so nice. He just sat there watching me read so often. When we did speak, he sounded so kind. I’ve thought about him a lot since I’ve been in my flat, wondering where he is and how he is getting on.’

As she continued, he massaged over her jeans. She didn’t seem to notice, her mind being on the boy. ‘He had lost him mum too,’ she said, ‘So I suppose that gave us a bond as well.’ As Lewis moved onto her stomach Lewis asked, ‘What about his dad?’ ‘They had never got on,’ she told him, ‘That’s why he left home after his mum died.’

When he moved on up over her breasts he asked, ‘What was his name?’ ‘Phillip,’ she told him, ‘I never discovered his second name.’ As Lewis moved over her breasts and up to her head, he marvelled at the coincidence. He had wondered earlier if Christine’s boy in the garden could be the Phillip that he had counselled a while ago, but now it seemed to be confirmed.

Taking his hands off her head, he smiled at her, ‘You’re doing very well,’ he said. ‘Most people’s problems involve sex of some sort. It’s clear from your reaction to some of my massage that your problem does too. That’s why I have persisted, it wasn’t just to upset you.’

‘We’re not going to be able to deal with it until I can get you relaxed

about your body and discussing your sex life or lack of it. So, in a minute I want you to turn over again. But before you do I want you to decide if you feel that we are getting anywhere. If you do, I want you to take your top things off before you turn over so I can massage your back on your skin. He explained about uncovering your body helping you to open your mind. Remember we move on at your speed so if you don’t feel ready yet, just stay as you are, and I’ll keep going up and down your front until you’re ready. Take your time to decide,’ he said, ‘I’m just going to the loo.’

He delayed his return for a while then when he came back Christine had taken her top things off and was lying on her front. Sitting down beside her, Lewis said, ‘Very well done, that is excellent progress.’ He rested his hands on her head and started massaging. As he moved down onto her shoulders he asked, ‘How long after you met Phillip did you start having dreams about him being your boyfriend?’

Moving down over her back and over her bra strap in silence, he had almost reached her waist before she replied, ‘A week.’ As he went over her cheeks he asked, ‘After that, how many nights did you dream about him?’ He was going down her legs as she answered, ‘Most nights.’

Reaching her feet then starting up again he asked, ‘Before you met Phillip, when was the last time you had a happy dream?’ There was a long silence as he came up her legs and over her cheeks. As he moved back onto her bare skin she answered, ‘Before my mum died.’ Moving up over her bra strap he asked, ‘Did your nightmare’s stop, once you started dreaming about Phillip?’

‘Yes,’ she started to say, then paused, ‘How did you know I was having nightmares?’ she asked. ‘An educated guess,’ Lewis told her, then in the same breath he said, ‘Turn over.’

Christine turned over without thinking, then as she settled, realised she only had her bra on her top. As she went red in the face, Lewis smiled as he told her, ‘Don’t worry, just imagine I’m Phillip.’ That made her go even redder.

‘I’m going to massage your head again,’ he said, ‘Then when you say ‘Go,’ I’ll move down your front and ask more questions.’ He rested his hands on her head and started massaging.

Christine was scared at the thought of a man’s hands going over her breasts, even with her bra in the way. But she was beginning to think Lewis really would solve her problem. Plus, he was so gentle and patient. Making her mind up, she said firmly, ‘Go.’

Moving on to her shoulders Lewis asked, ‘How long after you started having dreams about Phillip, did you dream about having sex with him?’ As he finished speaking his hands were part way over her breasts on her bra. He felt her start to tense up but possibly because she was concentrating on the question, the tension soon faded. As Lewis moved his hands down onto her stomach, she answered, ‘About a month.’

‘Where you surprised the first time you had that dream?’ Lewis asked as he went down over her jeans. ‘Yes,’ she said right away, ‘I didn’t think I’d ever have a dream like that again.’

As Lewis went down her legs he said, ‘Was that because of what happened to give you your nightmares?’ She looked at him in surprise as he reached her feet. ‘Yes, how did you know?’ ‘This is one problem to you,’ Lewis said, ‘But to me I’ve been here several times with other people. It means I can pick up things without you needing to tell me.’