Chapter 1: Suicide is Never the Answer

The route home from school was under a mile and Lewis often walked. Halfway the road crossed the Motorway, so Lewis often paused and watched the great volume of traffic passing underneath, wondering where they were all going.

Today he was happy that it was Friday, school had finished, and the weekend was ahead. As he approached the bridge he could see a figure against the railings, part way over the bridge. He assumed he was doing the same, watching the traffic.

As he got nearer, he recognised the figure. It was a boy whose name he couldn’t remember from the bottom form in Lewis’s Year. He was very overweight, and Lewis had often heard him being teased about it in the playground.

As he was about to pass him, Lewis said, ‘Hi.’ The boy turned towards him to reply, but as he said, ‘Hi,’ Lewis could see such a look of despair on his face, he stopped immediately and leaned on the rail beside him.

‘I often stop here on my way to or from School,’ he said, ‘I like to watch the traffic and wonder where it is all going. Is that what you were doing before I interrupted you?’ ‘Er, yes.’ came the reply but it was clear he was just agreeing to save answering. ‘I know you go to my school.’ Lewis told him, ‘But I’m afraid I don’t remember your name.’

‘I’m Lewis.’ he introduced himself putting his hand out. Seemingly reluctant, the lad took his hand and as Lewis shook it. he said, ‘I’m Dudley.’ ‘I live in Woodford Road,’ ‘Lewis told him, ‘Where do you live?’ ‘Beaconsfield Road,’ Dudley said answering automatically.

Lewis knew that the route from school to Beaconsfield Road was nowhere near the bridge. Coupled with Dudley’s expression and general demeanour, it crossed Lewis’s mind that Dudley might be feeling suicidal. As soon as he thought it, he said to himself, no, you’re reading too much into nothing.

Deciding that something must have subconsciously made him think that way, he stayed where he was. ‘How do you like school?’ Lewis asked him. ‘I don’t,’ came the immediate reply. ‘I’m always getting picked on and made fun of.’ ‘That’s rough.’ Lewis said, ‘Why do they do that.’ ‘Because I’m fat.’ Dudley said, ‘They prod me and call me names. I hate it.’

‘There are some nasty people in the world,’ Lewis told him. ‘But not everyone is bad. How about your friends, how do you get on with them?’

‘I don’t,’ Dudley said, ‘I haven’t got any.’ ‘What, none at all?’ Lewis asked, ‘Surely you must have one?’

‘I suppose Garry is a friend,’ he said, ‘But even he pokes fun at me a lot.’ ‘Well at least you’ve got the weekend away from it all,’ Lewis said. ‘Are you ready to move on, I’ll walk part way with you.’ ‘No, I’ll stay here a bit longer.’ Dudley said.

‘I’m not in any rush.’ Lewis told him, ‘How do you get on with your parents.’ ‘Ok, I suppose.’ Dudley replied. ‘Any brothers or sisters?’ Lewis asked. ‘A brother a year older and a sister a year younger.’ he answered. Then deciding he wasn’t going to get rid of Lewis, he said, ‘I’m ready to go now.’

As they walked together across the bridge, Lewis hoped he wouldn’t realise that it meant Lewis was walking in the wrong direction. As they came off the bridge, Lewis asked, ‘So do you hate your parents?’

Dudley stopped dead and looked at him. ‘Certainly not.’ he said, ‘I love my mum and dad.’ ‘That’s good,’ Lewis told him, ‘I love my mum and dad too. But I would never consider ruining the rest of their lives like you nearly did.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Dudley blustered. ‘Dudley, I have helped a lot of people with all sorts of problems.’ Lewis told him. ‘As a result, I often recognise things that other people don’t. I know why you were on that bridge and exactly what you were thinking of doing.’

Dudley walked along in silence just looking at the ground. ‘If you had done what you were thinking of doing,’ Lewis said, ‘You would have condemned your parents to unhappiness for the rest of their lives and all because you couldn’t be bothered to sort out your own problems.’

‘I can’t sort it out,’ Dudley said miserably, ‘I can’t stop being fat and I can’t stop other boys poking fun at me.’ ‘Yes, you can if you want to.’ Lewis told him. ‘Stop for a minute,’ he said pulling out his phone. ‘What’s your phone number?’ As Dudley told him he put it in his phone. A few seconds later Dudley’s phone pinged. ‘I’ve just sent you a text saying Lewis,’ he told him. ‘So now you have my number.’

‘If you ever feel as depressed as you did this afternoon, don’t do anything daft. Ring me and talk to me. But better still, come and see me tomorrow at five o’clock at the video hire shop at the top of my estate.’

‘We can talk through your problem and find a solution that will make you happy and save your parent’s distress. No one need know you’re seeing me, and no one will know anything you tell me. It’s up to you, I can only offer my help. You’re the only one who can decide to accept it or not.’

By now they were well clear of the bridge. Before turning off to circle back round home, Lewis said, ‘Nice to chat to you Dudley, please think of me as one of your friends from now on and I hope to see you tomorrow.’

Giving him a wave, Lewis set off home.

SATURDAY

After a busy Saturday afternoon, Dudley arrived at the shop at five to five. Lewis welcomed him and took him through to the back room. ‘Make us both a coffee,’ he told him, ‘I’ll be in in a few minutes once we close.’

Returning to the shop, Lewis served the last few customers, then as

Mike locked the door he went into the back room. Dudley was sitting at the table with the coffee’s ready. ‘Be with you in a moment,’ Lewis told him as he went through to the bathroom. Mike came in a few seconds later, shook hands with Dudley, gave him his usual praise about Lewis, then as Lewis returned, said, ‘Well I’m off, good luck Dudley, see you next week Lewis. Come and lock the door behind me. ‘

They went back to the shop, had a hug and a kiss, then Lewis locked the door and returned to Dudley. Joining him at the table, he told him the door was locked and even Mike couldn’t get back in. ‘So, no one can interrupt us he told him. No one can hear what is said and I will never tell a soul anything you tell me.’

Whilst they had their coffees, Lewis told him. ‘The first thing I’m going to try to do, is to get you so relaxed with me that you can tell me everything about you, your family and friends, your hopes and dreams, even your sex life or lack of it. Then we can sort out your problem together. Remember you came here because you wanted to. You are under no obligation to stay, feel free to leave at any time. You don’t have to tell me why you want to go.’

‘Now, if you want to stay and try, when we have finished our coffee, I want you go and lie on the settee. I will come and sit on the edge and tell you what happens next.’

‘Have you got any questions?’ ‘No offence,’ Dudley said, ‘But how do I know that you won’t tell everyone at school that I’m trying to lose weight, so they’ll tease me even more.’

‘No offence taken. I would never do that,’ Lewis said, ‘But the simple answer is that you don’t. You’ll have to trust me, because if you can’t do that, we are wasting our time. There are lots of people who have been in this room who could reassure you. However, I can’t ask them to do that because then you would know they had been in here which would break my promise to them.’

That seemed to reassure Dudley. ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘I feel I can trust you. I’m just scared of being made more fun off.’ ‘There will come a time,’ Lewis told him, ‘When it will become obvious that you are losing weight and getting fitter. I’m sure when that happens, you’ll find that people will admire your determination rather than poke fun at you.’

They had both finished their coffee so Lewis said, ‘Decision time. If you want to try, take your shoes off and lie down. If you don’t, no problem, I’ll let you out.’