Chapter 7 : Ron & Mary’s Wedding

The wedding day arrived at last. Ron and Mary had decided not to have sex the night before or on the wedding morning so as to save themselves up for the wedding night.

The ceremony was scheduled for eleven o’clock. Ron and Mary had got up early to put the finishing touches to the food. Evelyn had closed the café for the day, and everyone was due to arrive around ten thirty. Evelyn’s friend the imitation vicar had been round the last two day’s so everyone knew what they were going to do.

At ten thirty Lewis arrived followed soon after by Archie and his parents. Jayne from the café arrived with two other girls just after Lewis then Evelyn and the ‘Vicar’ arrived, followed by the photographer. He took shots of everyone to start with, then everyone mingled and chatted.

At ten to eleven, Mary and Ron disappeared back on board to do their final preparations. On the stroke of eleven, the Vicar boarded, stood on the deck with his back to the kitchen and called everyone to order. ‘I suggest everyone stands in a semi-circle on the tow path to start with,’ he told them.

Ron hopped out of the front of the boat, all smart now in his suit. He stepped up to the towpath side of the tiller and stood facing the vicar. The vicar had put his iPad on the roof of the boat, so he pressed the button. Here comes the bride blasted out, then after the first few bars, Mary appeared up the stairs from the galley. She looked lovely. Everyone gave her a round of applause. Mary stood on the opposite side of the tiller to Ron.

Switching off the iPad, the vicar, resplendent in his Gilbert and Sullivan Vicars outfit, announced, ‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together Mary and Ron into a lifetime of happy marriage. Ron and Mary are standing on each side of the boats tiller, an important piece of equipment to steer the boat safely on its journey. Standing on each side signifies that they are two individuals who are giving up their present life, to start a new one, together.’

‘Mary, do you take Ron to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death us do part and thereto pledge your troth.’ ‘I Do,’ Mary replied clearly, giving Ron a lovely smile. ‘Ron, do you take Mary to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death us do part and thereto pledge your troth.’ ‘I Do,’ Ron replied clearly, giving Mary an equally lovely smile.

The Vicar took Mary’s hand and placed it on the tiller. Then he took Ron’s hand placing it on top of Mary’s. ‘Ron and Mary,’ he said, ‘Before your friends here today, you have pledged your love for each other. From this day forward you go onward together, united in a lifetimes happy voyage.’

‘Come round to this side,’ he instructed Mary. Positioning Ron with one hand on the tiller and his other hand around Mary, he announced, ‘Ron and Mary, I now pronounce you Man and Wife. Those whom love has joined together, let no man split asunder. You may kiss the bride.’ he said to Ron.

As Ron and Mary embraced, everyone applauded. As they broke away, the Vicar announced, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, as this is an unusual venue for a wedding, we have an unusual marriage certificate. There is a space for each and all of you to sign as witness, I hope you will all do so to make it a very special record.’

The Vicar stepped off the boat, then held Mary’s hand as she stepped off too. Ron hopped off behind her then they went round everyone being congratulated. Lewis had arranged with Jayne to go and bring out the trays of drinks at that point.

After an hour of chatting, everyone gave a hand bringing the food off the boat. Ron and Mary had set up one table and eleven seats on the side of the towpath using spare tables and chairs from the café. There followed many hours of eating, drinking and chatting as everyone got to know each other.