Chapter 3: A Hope To Dream About

‘To get you relaxed enough to feel able to answer them, I’ll ask you to lie down on the settee. I will sit at your side and ask you to turn over onto your front. Then I’ll massage down your back from your head to your feet and back up again as we go through the questions.’

‘You should find that that will make it easier to answer them.’ He explained about ‘Pass’ and ‘Stop’ and saying ‘Go.’ Also, about walking out anytime she wanted to. ‘So, it’s decision time now,’ he told her as they put their coffee cups down. ‘Take your shoes off and lie down on the settee or let yourself out.’

‘Like everything in this room, it’s your decision, there’s no pressure on you in here.’ He took the cups over to the sink as Ashley went over to the settee, kicked her shoes off and lay down. She had felt so relieved at the idea of sharing her problem, that when Clair had mentioned Cliff’s age she didn’t care, their praise of him was enough.

The massage came as a big surprise, but when she thought of all the things she had put up with over the years, a massage was nothing.

Anyway, Cliff didn’t strike her as being the sort of person who would ever hurt anyone.

‘Are you ok if I sit here?’ Cliff asked. She nodded, still feeling slightly nervous. ‘Just remember nothing in this room will hurt you or take you by surprise,’ Cliff told her. ‘Whatever I want to do, I’ll tell you before it happens, why I want to do it and what I hope to gain from it. Then it will be entirely up to you whether it happens or not.’

‘In a moment I’ll ask you to turn over. Then I’ll massage the back of your head. But I won’t move off your head or ask you any questions, until you tell me you’re ready by calling out ‘Go.’ Have you any questions before we start?’

‘How did you get all the knowledge to do this sort of thing?’ Ashley asked. ‘I had a very good teacher, the young man who was here before me and is now at university,’ Cliff told her. ‘Also, most problems only require looking at by someone totally independent.’

Ashley smiled at him thinking, ‘It couldn’t possibly be that simple.’ and turned over without being asked. As he put his hands on her head she tensed, the hands she was used to feeling had always resulted in pain. But seconds later the lovely gentle touch was sending waves of pleasure through her.

As she relaxed, she told him, ‘I’m sorry, that tension wasn’t your fault.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Cliff told her, ‘I understand. If you get any more bad memories, don’t worry about them, but try your best to concentrate on what you are actually feeling in this room at this moment.’

‘Not on what you’ve felt in the past.’ ‘Ok,’ Ashley agreed, ‘I’ll try.’ He massaged for a short while. Ashley was enjoying it and wondering if the whole thing was going to be as nice. Then she made herself call out ‘Go.’ As Cliff moved down onto her shoulders, it sent another lovely feeling through her.

‘You’re so gentle,’ she told him. ‘Can you tell me how old you are?’ Cliff asked. ‘I’m twenty, I’ll be twenty-one in two months’ time.’ ‘Tell me about where you live, and who lives there with you.’ Cliff asked as he massaged on down her back.

‘We live in a three bedroomed semi-detached council house,’ Ashley began. ‘I’ve lived there all my life. I live with my mum and dad and a younger sister, Sarah who was fifteen last week.’ As Cliff reached her waist, he asked, ‘How do you get on with them?’

‘Very well with my sister, despite our age difference,’ Ashley told him, not showing any concern as he massaged over her cheeks. ‘Mums ok, but she’s very quiet and just gets on with things.’ She stopped speaking as Cliff went down the back of her legs, but he didn’t feel it was because of his touch.

‘And your dad?’ he prompted. After a pause she replied, ‘He does his own thing and expects everyone else to accept it without question.’ ‘Has he ever hit you, other than a light slap?’ Cliff asked. There was another pause, then she answered quietly, ‘Yes.’ ‘Ok, thanks for feeling able to tell me that.’ Cliff told her.