Chapter 6: No Use To A Woman

When they both told him, ‘No.’ he said, ‘Never mind, lots of people have hidden talents and if either of you have, we’ll find them in due course. And if you haven’t, don’t worry, there’s still loads of other things that you can do.’

They moved on and met all the others, all of whom made them feel very welcome. The room they were in, they discovered, was used during productions for everyone to prepare in before going on stage. And for props needed during the performance.

It had a small twelve-inch-high stage at one end for rehearsals. The chairman got up on the stage and called them all to order. ‘Tonight, we’re all going to have a sing a long of the main songs from next year’s production of the operetta ‘The White Horse Inn.’ he told them.

‘The operetta itself is not a particularly well know one, he told them, but a lot of the songs from it are. But first I’d like to welcome our two new members and ask them to come up here and tell us a little about themselves.’

Alvin and Kurt joined him on stage to a round of polite applause. At a nod from the chairman, Alvin said clearly, ‘Hi, everyone.’ sounding very confident. ‘My name is Alvin. I’m twenty-nine, separated, single, and I’ve never stood on a stage before in my life.’

Everyone laughed at that. ‘I work in the office of the local supermarket,’ Alvin continued. ‘After some of our friends got married, my flat mate Kurt here and I decided we needed a hobby. It was a choice between a group like this and ballroom dancing lessons.’

‘In the end we couldn’t decide which, so we’re going to try both. So here we are. Although I’m sure I can’t act or sing, I’ll try to be useful. Thank you all for making us so welcome.’ That got him a round of applause. Then everyone looked at Kurt.

He was clearly nervous about being in the limelight. ‘Hi,’ he said quietly, ‘I’m Kurt. I’m twenty-five and I work on the new housing estate outside town. I’m a building labourer. It’s my first time on a stage too, and apart from helping move scenery, I expect it will be my last.

That got a laugh too. Then he added, ‘It’s nice to meet you all.’ He looked lost for words then, so the chairman jumped in and said, ‘Thank you Alvin and Kurt, Welcome to you both. Just join in this evening and you’ll soon find your way around.’

Song sheets were handed out and everyone gathered around the piano in a half circle. Kurt and Alvin were encouraged into the middle of the row and told to sing along where and when they could. ‘Don’t worry about being in tune,’ the lady next to them said. ‘It’s not like singing solo, if you’re out of tune, we’ll all drown you out.’

The pianist started playing. Most of the songs neither of them had ever heard of, but having the music and words in their hand, they did their best. When they reached them, they both recognised the ‘Soldiers Chorus’ and ‘Goodbye’ made famous by Joseph Locke. As they all sang, one of the members whose name they couldn’t remember, kept walking along slowly in front of everyone.

He did it over and over again which puzzled them. When it all finished and a break for tea or coffee was called, Alvin asked the lady next to him. ‘Ah, that’s out choir master,’ she told them. ‘He was checking on everyone’s singing voice.’

‘You’ll see him doing that a lot. Then when people are picked to try for parts in the production, he will say whose voice is or isn’t suited to a particular part. As everyone collected a cuppa and a biscuit, lots of them came over to speak to the new members.

At one stage the choir master came over. ‘I was listening to your singing earlier,’ he told them. On first impressions I don’t think either of you are good enough to sing solo, although that can often change with practice and tuition.’

‘But you both have singing voices good enough to sing in a group. If you stay with us, I or Fred the pianist will give you some tips and lessons.’ They told him how surprised they were to hear that and thanked him. Then he moved on. Two of the ladies came over next and stood chatting.

‘You mentioned ballroom dancing,’ one of them said, it’s something we always intended trying but never got round to it. Is it local?’ ‘Yes,’ Alvin told her, ‘It’s in the civic centre. There’s a new beginner’s class starting a week on Friday.’ He pulled his phone out.