Chapter 3: With My Eyes Wide Open

‘When I said no, he told me he’d probably got so excited he’d gone somewhere private to fire himself. ‘Just be careful he doesn’t want to fire you instead,’ he said. ‘Surely they don’t do things like that.’ I asked. ‘My older brother told me a Priest made him let him do it for him.’ he told me.’

‘I didn’t know if he was leading me up the garden path or what, but he sounded sincere. I was already very conversant with the Bible, but it had always been drummed into me as being unquestionable fact. Now I started to look at it again and question what it said.’

‘I soon found out that every story was so full of holes that unless your view was blinkered like mine had been, the whole thing was ridiculous. When I was twelve and my confirmation got nearer, I queried the need for it and got another beating for my trouble. Then they changed to the persuasion option.’

‘All our relatives will send you congratulation cards with money in,’ they told me. ‘You could end up with as much as a thousand pounds. And you’ll have a better chance of going to heaven when you die.’ ‘And what if I don’t want to get confirmed.’ I asked.

‘Well, you’d have thought I’d just suggested going out and robbing a bank or something worse.’ ‘You’d become an outcast in the family for bringing shame on us all,’ mum told me. ‘No one would want to know you.’ ‘There are boys at school who aren’t confirmed,’ I told them. ‘And they seem to live a happy life.’

‘It’s nothing to do with being happy,’ she said, ‘It’s a matter of following Gods teaching that counts.’ I let it rest at that, and although the atmosphere was strained, nothing more was said. I duly went to my confirmation class that week.’

‘The priest who had taken my first confession collared me as soon as I arrived. ‘Come with me.’ he ordered and led me into a small room. We sat down facing each other. ‘I understand you’re not happy about being confirmed.’ he said.

‘I guessed mum or dad had told him. ‘It seems ridiculous to me,’ I told him, ‘Swearing allegiance to a being no one actually knows exists.’ I’d never seen anyone get so angry so quickly. He grabbed hold of me, pulled my trousers and my underpants down, put me over his knee and walloped my bare bum with his hand as hard as he could.’

‘When he finally stopped, my bum was stinging and he stood me in front of him, my clothes still around my ankles. ‘Don’t you ever dare suggest that God doesn’t exist again,’ he said, ‘You’ll go to hell when you die and burn for eternity.’

‘I managed to refrain from saying what I thought of that, fearing another walloping. ‘Now,’ he said, as he looked at my cock, ‘I can tell you’re still playing with yourself aren’t you.’ ‘That’s none of your business,’ I told him. ‘It’s my cock, and what I choose to do with it is up to me.’

‘Your body belongs to God,’ he told me. ‘Every bit of it. I have prayed to him about you, and he wants me to teach you a lesson before you are confirmed.’ He took hold of my cock and started playing with it. ‘What are you doing?’ I said trying to back away.’

‘I want you to get hard,’ he said, ‘God wants me to see how big you grow and how much you are shooting.’ By then I was firing happily each night, so I knew what he meant. But although he was being fairly gentle, I was so disgusted at what he was doing I didn’t go the slightest bit hard.’

‘He kept playing with my cock, and my balls with no result. ‘If you’re not getting hard,’ he told me, ‘You’re going against God, so I’ll have to teach you a different lesson.’ He let go of my cock and dragged me over to a small table.’

‘He pushed me over it and held my head down with one hand. I couldn’t see him now, but I could hear him doing something. It was a while before I worked out that whilst holding me down with one hand, he was undressing himself. Then he pulled me to my feet and turned me to face him.

He was stark naked, and his cock was sticking out hard. I’d never seen anyone else hard before or seen a cock so big. As he held me, he was rubbing something all over his cock. Then he picked me up, sat me on the table and pushed me back.’