Chapter 4: Such A Big Thing

‘We were soon reasonably safe back in the hills. We sent the code word for success and soon after a chopper picked us all up. I was patched up at base and then sent back to the UK. The others passed on the info that we had obtained.’

‘I was told later that the info we had collected enabled us to be waiting ready and repel several attacks, including one on our base.’ ‘What happened to you?’ Danny asked. ‘I had immediate surgery,’ Jake said. ‘The bullet had hit a vertebra in my spine and broke some pieces off.’

‘Slightly to the left and I’d be paralysed now. They fused the damaged vertebra to the next one up and removed the bullet. That had only done tissue damage after hitting the bone. I was out of bed in days and after a few weeks of physio was fine.’

‘But I was no longer fit enough to stay in the military. So, they found me the job I do now. I still miss the army, but I like the job I’ve got now, so it could have been a lot worse.’ ‘When did the problem start?’ Danny asked.

‘At first, I was too concerned with whether I would ever walk again,’ Jake admitted. ‘Then the surgeon came and told me that other than a slight bit of stiffness and a tiny loss of flexibility in some movements, I’d be fine. Soon after I started to see the exploding body of the young boy in my head at night.’

‘When I was told I wasn’t fit enough to remain in the army, I was depressed over that briefly, and that took all my thoughts. Then when I got my present job and my flat, I settled in and thought how lucky I’d been.’

‘But then a few days later two young boys came to the desk to ask directions to a ward. I directed them, but as I watched them walk away, in my mind I saw them both explode into thousands of pieces. For a week after that I had nightmares where I saw the explosion, then bits of their bodies rained down on me.’

‘My nightmare finished with their mother pointing at me and saying, ‘Murderer,’ over and over again. I woke up in a right sweat. I had a lot of middle of the night showers that week. Then after a week it faded away. I slept ok and I was always fine during the day.’

‘From then until now, the nightmares come and go. When they come, they last around a week. In between them can be a week, a month, or several months. I decided that the main trigger was seeing two boys of similar age together.’

‘There was nothing I could do about that, so I did nothing. Then last week I triggered again. I’ve had it for four nights now, so when I saw you this morning, I remembered your comment about counselling. I knew if I could talk to anyone it would be you.’

‘Thank you for telling me all that,’ Danny told him. ‘Let’s deal with your experiences with Chris first. Chris attacked you by getting you drunk and possibly adding something else to your drink. He then sexually assaulted you. I can think of some explanations for what he did, but they are no excuse.’

‘Had you had some close friends your own age in your teens, you may well have experimented with each other by doing the same things Chris did to you. So, what Chris did will not harm you in any way. But doing anything like that should only ever be by mutual consent.’

‘By your own admission, you enjoyed some of the experiences. You handled it well and your parting shot was a brilliant punishment. I don’t think you will have any future problems as a result of that experience.’

‘Now the big one, Afghanistan. You did your job well and have no regrets at killing the terrorists or the guard. So, everything revolves around the young boys. You will never know for certain why they were there at that time. But let us look at it logically.’

‘This was a highly secret meeting of six of the top commanders of the terrorists. It is most unlikely that two ordinary young boys would be told where it was. Even more unlikely that they would be sent to interrupt mid meeting, just to bring one of them a family message.’

‘I’m no expert of wars and religions, but as I understand it, Islamic children are often taught to kill at a very early age and are frequently trained to take active parts in attacks. I would consider that it is more than likely that this describes these two.’