Chapter 5: A Dog With Two Tails

‘A few couples wandered past, hand in hand or with arms linked. I noticed Magnus watching them. ‘It makes you wonder if anything like that will ever happen to you, doesn’t it?’ I commented. ‘Yes.’ Magnus answered sounding sad.’

‘I can’t understand people who actually choose to be alone all the time.’ he added. ‘Yes, I know what you mean.’ I told him. We sat silent for a while, both thinking how sad it was and at the same time happy that we understood how each other felt.’

‘We got up and walked into town. We had a wander around and found a little restaurant in a side street on the edge of town. ‘I know it’s Saturday,’ I said, ‘But it’s still early, shall we see if this one can take us?’ Magnus agreed, so we went in.’

‘We were in luck and had a lovely meal. Magnus had never had any wine before, so I ordered a bottle of light white wine which lasted us the whole meal. As we ate, we chatted about our trip to Birmingham. It was very clear that it was a very exciting prospect for him.’

‘As we left the restaurant, we had intended to go our separate ways. But when we stepped outside, I quickly became aware that Magnus had become very jittery. He seemed to be finding things to say to postpone our parting. Then I suddenly remembered something he had said about not being out on his own for ages.’

‘Magnus, are you ok about walking home alone from here?’ I asked him. ‘I’m terrified about it,’ he admitted, ‘I haven’t been out at this time of night for over a year.’ ‘You should have told me,’ I said. ‘Would you like me to walk home with you?’ I could see the change in him immediately.’

‘As we walked along, I asked him how long he had been scared of being out at night. ‘Just over a year,’ he said immediately. I noted the similarity in the two dates but said nothing about it. Magnus’s flat was only two blocks away, so we were soon there.’

‘He looked so pleased and invited me in for a coffee. His flat was very similar to mine. As we drank our coffees, he started to worry about me having to walk home alone. I assured him I’d be fine, but he made me promise to text him when I was home.’

‘Otherwise, I’ll be worrying all night,’ he said. I got up to go and we headed for the door. At the door he turned to face me and thanked me again for seeing him home. ‘Can I give you a hug?’ he asked. ‘Yes, certainly.’ I agreed holding my arms out.’

‘As we hugged, he said, ‘I’m so lucky to have such a good friend.’ ‘That works both ways.’ I told him. ‘Magnus,’ I asked, ‘Am I right in thinking that just over a year ago, something bad happened to you on your way home?’

‘I felt him shiver in my arms as he said, ‘Yes.’ ‘Well, when you feel ready to talk about it, I’ll be here for you,’ I told him. ‘Talking through a problem always helps.’ ‘Thank you.’ he said as he gave me another hug and a kiss on the cheek.’

‘He let me out and I walked home. I texted him as soon as I got home, and he sent me a thumbs up back immediately. At work on Monday he said that Saturday had been the best day he had had for a long, long, time. ‘Well how about we meet up this coming Saturday too?’ I suggested.’

‘Then we can make any final plans for our weekend away.’ I had never seen him so happy as he was that week. On the Saturday, I had suggested that we met up in town mid-afternoon, had another walk then went back to his and had a takeaway delivered later on.’

‘My thought being that when I left, he would already be at home. Come the day, we met in the main square at one o’clock. We took a bus out to a linear walk along an old railway line. As we walked along, Magnus told me it brought such happy memories back of being out walking with his mum and dad.’

‘We had started walking at half one, so when I noticed the time was three o’clock, I suggested we had a rest then set off back. We sat to the side of the path on a patch of grass. The sun was warm and the occasional people passing all called out hello.’

‘We learned more about each other too. We were both an only child and neither of us was keen on sport. Magnus confided in me that he’d always scared easily, but what had happened to him a year ago had made him far worse.’

‘Well done.’ I told him. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked looking puzzled. ‘You have just brought up and mentioned your problem from a year ago.’ I told him. ‘That you felt able to do that shows how much at ease you feel with me. One day you will be able to tell me everything that happened.’

‘When you do,’ I said, ‘I might not be able to do anything about it, but once you’ve shared it with me, it will seem far less of a problem to you.’ ‘How come?’ he asked. ‘Have you ever heard the saying, ‘A trouble shared is a trouble halved?’ I asked him.’

‘No, never.’ he told me. ‘Well, it means that if you have something troubling you, and you tell no one, then you are carrying every bit of it on your own shoulders. But if you tell someone you trust all about it, then two people know what it is.’

‘So, from then on, you are only carrying half of the trouble on your own shoulders. As a result, with less weight on you, it becomes much easier to cope with. And do you know another reason why I think you will be able to do that with me?’ I asked. When he said, ‘No,’ I told him, ‘I think you are frightened because someone hurt you.’

‘So since then, you have had a fear of people. Yet you and I have been together in each of our flats with no one else there. You weren’t frightened then where you?’ ‘No.’ he said smiling. ‘And we’ve hugged each other on two occasions too. You weren’t frightened then either where you?’

‘No, it was nice.’ he told me. ‘So, you feel safe shut in a room with me, you feel safe when we’re in each other’s arms and you feel safe enough to go away together for a weekend. Even sharing a bedroom doesn’t frighten you, even if the thought of doing it does embarrass you a bit.’

‘So, all that is good, isn’t it?’ ‘Yes, it is,’ he said happily, ‘I hadn’t thought of any of that.’ ‘I still don’t think I could tell anyone what happened, but I’m sure that if I ever could, it would be to you.’ ‘I feel very proud of that.’ I told him. We got up then and started walking back the way we had come.’

‘By the time we had waited for a bus and got back to Magnus’s flat it was six o’clock. We had a coffee and sat chatting. Magnus couldn’t stop talking about the next weekend. I was so pleased to hear how much he was looking forward to it.’

‘Magnus had a takeaway menu, so we picked our food, and he ordered it. Then he set the table and showed me a bottle of wine he had bought specially. It was the same one as we had had in the restaurant the previous week.’

‘As you know, I’d never had wine before, but I really liked it.’ he said, ‘So I went to the off licence and found this.’ ‘Oh dear,’ I said, ‘Am I getting you into bad habits?’ ‘No,’ he said, ‘Definitely not, you’re bringing me back to life.’ ‘What a nice thing to say,’ I told him. ‘That deserves a hug.’

‘I stood up and he came straight to me and put his arms around me. We hugged for quite a while, then the doorbell went. Magnus returned with our food, and we sat at the table tucking in and enjoying our wine. When we had finished eating, we both cleared away.’

‘There was still some wine left, so we topped up our glasses and sat on the settee. I think both of us were content just to sit there in silence, happy to have company. But even so, we each passed an occasional comment or asked a question.’

‘I remember one he asked, ‘Pat, you know you said I could go and get changed in the bathroom because I was shy?’ ‘Yes,’ I answered, ‘That wouldn’t be any problem.’ ‘But I’m not sure I could wander along hotel corridors in my night things.’ he said.’

‘You won’t need to,’ I told him, ‘We have our own private bathroom.’ ‘Wow!’ he said. ‘Most hotels do nowadays,’ I told him. ‘I’ve never stayed in a hotel in my life,’ he told me. ‘On holiday with mum and dad we stayed with relatives or in a caravan.’