Chapter 1: Bigger Than Mine

Danny and Phillip sat down at the kitchen table. As they drank the coffee that Danny had prepared ready, Danny tried to put Phillip at ease. ‘Nothing you tell me today will ever be repeated to anyone without your express permission.’ Danny told him.

‘Although you are a policeman, and I have so much contact with the police, that makes no difference. When you have told me all your troubles, I will probably recommend one or more courses of action.’

‘But whether you take any of my advice or not will be entirely up to you. If you decide not to do anything I suggest, that is fine. It is your life and your choice. If you were to reject all of my advice, I would still keep what you had told me confidential.’

As Phillip digested that, he knew that he believed Danny, but it still didn’t stop him worrying about someone else knowing all about what he had kept secret for so long. Yet he had felt so much easier in himself since he had sent Danny a text, so he was determined to at least give it a try.

‘Remember,’ Danny told him, ‘If you feel at any time that you can’t continue, you don’t need to explain why, just get up and leave. If you do, you will always be welcome to return and continue anytime in the future.’

He explained some of the procedure he would follow. Then when they finished their coffees, they went through to the lounge. Phillip took his shoes off and lay down. His heart was beating fast. ‘I’m not going to ask you about your problem for ages yet.’ Danny told him.

‘First, I need to get you feeling completely relaxed with me. Your problem obviously feels very serious to you. But no matter what it is, I’m sure that working together we can solve it. Yet I can’t help without your full cooperation.’

‘Our first task is getting you completely and absolutely relaxed with me. The second step is for you to feel able to tell me all about your problem no matter how bad it is, or how embarrassed you feel about doing so. The third is for us to solve it together so that you can put it all behind you for good.’

That sounded wonderful and Phillip turned over happily, as instructed. He jumped a little as he felt Dannys hands rest on his head, even though he knew it was going to happen. Then as Danny massaged gently, he started to relax and enjoy it. He completely forgot to say go, until Danny reminded him.

‘Sorry, ‘Go.’ he said, ‘No one’s ever massaged me before and it felt so nice.’ Moving down onto his shoulders, Danny asked, ‘Tell me where you lived and who with in your last years at school.’ ‘I lived in Whitchurch in Shropshire,’ Phillip told him. ‘We lived in a small cottage in a village.’

‘I lived with my mum and dad. Dad worked on a farm and mum in the local shop. I’m an only child. Mum and dad adopted me as a baby.’ Phillip added, ‘I was very lucky, and had a happy childhood.’ Danny had reached his waist.

As he moved up onto his trousers and massaged his cheeks Danny asked, ‘When did you find out you were adopted?’ ‘Just before I started secondary school,’ Phillip told him. ‘Mum and dad talked me through it one evening. They told me they hadn’t been able to have any children of their own.’

‘How did you feel?’ Danny asked as he was moving down his legs. There had been no sign of any reaction to the massage on his cheeks. ‘It was a shock,’ Phillip admitted, ‘But I accepted it and told them that it made no difference to me, I couldn’t have had a better mum and dad.’

On his way back up his legs Danny asked, ‘Did you ever find out anything about your birth parents?’ ‘No. I was curious naturally, but I always felt it would be disloyal to mum and dad to start digging. They knew nothing, because it had been done through an adoption society.’

As he massaged over his cheeks again, Phillp called out, ‘That feels lovely, you’re so gentle.’ ‘How did you get on with the boys at school?’ Danny asked as he moved on up his back. ‘Ok, in the main.’ Phillip said. ‘I was quiet and shy and didn’t mix well. But the only one I ever had any problem with was the school bully.’

‘What did he do to you?’ ‘He’d come close to me and thump me in the stomach or the kidneys, but so no one else could see what he was doing. Or he would deliberately trip me up. On one occasion he caught me on my own with no one in sight and attacked me quite violently.’

‘I wasn’t the only one by far.’ Danny massaged his head then told him to turn over. ‘You’re doing fine,’ he said with a smile, ‘I’ll go down your front now just the same. Say go when you’re ready.’ Phillip enjoyed the massage on his head for a moment, then said, ‘Go.’

‘What did you do about him, if anything?’ Danny asked as he moved down onto the front of his shoulders. ‘Up until his violent attack, I’d suffered for well over a year and done nothing.’ Phillip said. ‘I’d just put up with it. But after that I decided he needed stopping.’

‘As Danny massaged his chest, he asked, ‘Did you manage to stop him?’ ‘Yes.’ Phillip said. ‘It took a few weeks, some planning, and I had a bit of help, but it worked.’ Moving onto his stomach Danny asked, ‘What did you do?’

‘Instead of trying to keep out of his way, I stayed as close to him as I dared and kept a close eye on him. I noticed that all the ones he picked on where quiet like me and just put up with it. Most were my age but there were two in the year below and one on the year above.’

‘I made a list of all their names. I didn’t live far from the school and on the edge of the farm there was an old disused barn alongside the road. I had often worked on the farm at various times, so I knew the farmer, dads boss, very well.’

‘I told him I wanted a private place so that those who were quiet like me could meet up occasionally on our own. Would it be ok with him if we used the old barn. As Phillip had been speaking, Danny had massaged all over the front of his trousers.

He had been so into his story he hadn’t noticed. But as Dannys hands moved down his thighs, he stopped, looked at Danny and said, ‘That was amazing.’ ‘How do you mean?’ Danny asked. ‘Well, as I was talking, I had a lovely sensation going through me.’ Phillip told him.

‘But I was so busy talking, it wasn’t until this moment I realised what it was and where you had just massaged. I’m a very shy person as you know. The idea that someone could massage the front of my trousers without me even realising it was happening is unbelievable.’

‘But even more surprising is that I don’t feel embarrassed telling you about it.’ ‘That’s a very good sign that we’re going to succeed,’ Danny told him smiling. ‘Carry on with your story.’ he instructed as he massaged over his knees on the way back up from his feet.’

‘The farmer said it wasn’t really a safe building.’ Phillip continued. ‘So, he wouldn’t give me permission. Then he winked at me and added, but if you did use it, and in the unlikely event I found out that you’d used it anyway, I wouldn’t object.’

At that point Danny reached the top of his thighs. Phillip stopped speaking and watched as his hands massaged every inch of the front of his trousers. As Dannys hands moved over his belt onto his stomach, Phillip gave a contented sigh.

He smiled at Danny and continued, ‘I grinned at him and thanked him. Then I arranged for us all to meet up one night after school. Once we were all there, I thanked them for coming and told them about my recent beating. ‘I know you have all suffered at his hands too.’ I said.’

‘If he isn’t stopped, he will carry on doing it. We shouldn’t have to put up with it. He picks on us because he is a bully. But it’s also because all of us here are too weak to fight back individually. But as a group of twelve we are far, far stronger than he is.’

As Danny reached his head, he massaged it briefly then took his hands off. ‘In a moment, I want you to turn over so I can go down your back again.’ Danny told him. ‘If you feel comfortable enough to do so, I’d like you to take your top things off first.’