Chapter 6: Nelson Goes Red

Lester liked the sound of that, but even so he found the idea of more handling, even by someone who seemed as nice as Lewis, absolutely terrifying.

‘Take as long as you like,’ Lewis told him, ‘Then turn over when you’re ready.’ Lester gazed up at him in terror. Seeing how frightened he looked Lewis asked him, ‘Would it help if I massaged the front of your head whilst you thought about it?’

Lester didn’t look any less frightened, but after a minute or so he agreed. ‘I’ll just rest them on your head still,’ Lewis told him. ‘I won’t start massaging until you say it’s ok.’

As he laid them gently in place, he felt Lester go rigid in terror. He held his hands still for a while but felt no sign of any relaxing. Taking his hands off, Lewis said, ‘Relax now, I’ll leave it for a few minutes then we can try again.’

‘Have you always been nervous of physical contact?’ Lewis asked, ‘Or is it just since your problem occurred?’ ‘I’ve been nervous since the start of my teens,’ Lester told him, ‘But it got ten times worse recently.’

‘How do you manage at school with accidental contact?’ Lewis asked. ‘It’s a nightmare.’ Nelson told him, ‘But as long as it’s people I know well and there are plenty of other people around I can usually manage to cope and hide it. But it’s a strain nevertheless.’

‘It’s partly because of that, and partly due to the difficulty I anticipate in handling it when I leave school and start work that finally made me come.’ ‘Have you ever told anyone all that before?’ Lewis asked. ‘No, never.’ Lester said. ‘How about your cousin William?’ Lewis asked. ‘No, not even him.’ he answered.’

‘So, you see, you are already feeling more at ease with me.’ Lewis said. ‘Shall we try again? I’ll put my hands on your head but with no movement until you say go.’ Lester immediately looked scared again. ‘If we don’t keep trying, we’ll never succeed,’ Lewis told him, ‘But if I keep frightening you, it won’t work either.’

‘This is what we’ll do,’ Lewis said. ‘If you agree, we’ll have two more goes, then if you still can’t do it, we’ll leave it and arrange another time. At least next time you come you would know what to expect. Also, you wouldn’t be coming to a stranger in a strange place. It doesn’t matter how long it takes us, all that matters is that we succeed in the end. Ok?’ he asked raising his eyebrows.

Lester was evidently struggling but managed to nod. Lewis carefully placed his hands on his head and rested them still. He could see fear on Lesters face. He waited a bit then he was just about to take his hands off again when there came a timid little, ‘Go.’

As Lewis started massaging very slowly, Lester went tense. Then as Lewis moved round and massaged on his temples he started to relax. Lewis kept going for several minutes as Lester seemed to relax all over.

Taking his hands away, Lewis asked, ‘Do you think you could turn over now and try that on the back of your head?’ The look of fear returned to his face but perhaps not quite as bad as previously. ‘I’ll try,’ he said sounding very nervous.

‘Ok, take your time and turn over when you feel ready.’ Lewis told him giving him a reassuring smile. Lester lay still for a while, then with a clear effort he rolled over onto his front.

‘Well done.’ Lewis said. ‘Now, I’m going to place my hands on the back of your head but keep them still. When you say ok, I’ll start massaging but I won’t move off your head. Then when you say, ‘Go,’ I’ll move down your back and start asking questions.’

He lowered his hands down feeling Lester go rigid as he did. As he held them still, he felt Lester relaxing slightly. Then he was pleased to hear a tiny little voice saying, ‘Ok.’

Lewis started massaging very slowly. Lester immediately went rigid again but soon started to relax. It seemed ages but eventually he said, ‘Go.’ After a few moments Lewis said, ‘I’ll move down and massage your shoulders now. At the same time, I’ll start asking you questions.’

He massaged Lesters head for another half a minute then moved down onto his shoulders. As he massaged, he started to say ‘Can you tell me... ‘ Then Lester went very tense and called out, ‘Stop, please stop.’ he turned over and sat up. He was shivering.

‘I want to hold you to comfort you,’ Lewis said, ‘But I don’t think that would help. Is there anything else I can do?’ Lester just shook his head and sat there shivering. ‘Ok,’ Lewis said, ‘We’re going to pack up for now, but I never give up. You can come back and try again any time you want, ok?’

‘Thank you.’ Lester managed to get out. He had stopped shivering by now. ‘I’m sorry to be so difficult.’ ‘Don’t worry,’ Lewis said, ‘You are you; you can’t change that. Remember that when you come back, you won’t be starting out feeling half as nervous.’

‘You’ve made the first step on your journey to a solution,’ Lewis told him, ‘It should get easier from here on. Keep thinking about what I want you to do, then as soon as you want to have another go, text me. I’ll let you know my available dates and we’ll meet here once again. It doesn’t matter how many times we have to try as long as we succeed in the end. We can do evenings during the week as well if that helps you.’

As Lester was putting his shoes back on, Lewis asked, ‘Who were the last three people you hugged or who hugged you?’ ‘My mum, my dad and my cousin William.’ Lester answered easily.

‘Did you feel uncomfortable doing that with any of them?’ Lewis asked. ‘No, never.’ Lester answered sounding puzzled. ‘Is that because you are used to them and know they would never hurt you?’ ‘Yes.’

‘Do you think I would ever hurt you?’ Lewis asked. ‘No, I don’t.’ Lester said sounding certain. ‘Well, this is just a suggestion and it’s entirely up to you. I think it would help you a lot for next time if when you are ready to leave, we say goodbye with a hug. You could pretend I’m another cousin if that would help.’

Lester didn’t look too sure. ‘When we reach the door,’ Lewis said, ‘I’ll turn to face you and hold my arms out. If you feel comfortable enough, come into them and give me a brief hug. But if you find it too frightening it’s fine, just turn away and go. But no matter how we part, don’t forget to come back soon, ok?’

‘Ok, thank you.’ Lester said. He picked up his coat and they headed for the door through to the shop. Reaching it first, Lewis turned with his arms open wide but making sure his position left enough room for Lester to walk past and through the door.

Lester drew level, then turned to face him. He went a bit red in the face and was clearly undecided. Lewis just stood patiently waiting and closed his eyes. Then a few seconds later he felt Lester’s arms come round him, his head rested on his shoulder very lightly and after the shortest hug Lewis had ever had, he stepped back.’

Opening his eyes Lewis gave him a big smile and said, ‘Thank you, that was lovely and very, very special because I know how hard you found it to do. I feel very proud that you felt able to do it. You should feel a lot easier with me in future.’

‘You’ll note that I didn’t hug back.’ Lewis told him, ‘That’s because I didn’t want you to feel trapped in my arms. But if we ever hug again, which I hope we will, I will return a hug to match yours, ok?’

‘Ok,’ Lester said managing a smile, ‘Thank you.’ He collected his bike and Lewis watched him cycle away. He locked up and had an early night.

MONDAY

After school Lewis went home with Gregg. He was carrying two carrier bags, so Gregg carried one for him. They arrived at Greggs and went down his garden and through to the raft.

Gregg pointed over to where he had tied his hanky to a tree. ‘Theres a branch there,’ he said, ‘You can climb along it onto the land and the clearing is very close.’

Lewis fitted two metal screw in eyes to the raft, one at the front and one at the rear where he had made holes originally. He tied a rope to the front and coiled it up onto the raft. Then he tied a rope to the back and lay it out on the ground, tying the end to a tree.