Chapter 1: Mobility

Mobility for the legless. Since I can’t have the fragile human body I grew up with, now I’m freed of its limitations, why would I design a bipedal mechanical replica as a replacement? A sleek throaty motored sports car is sexier than I ever was in person. While sports cars are attractive to babes, they have serious limitations in where they can go. A road needs to go there first. Off-road vehicles are barely more versatile and not designed for comfort or eye appeal. Why would I limit myself to ground transportation when I have wider options? An ocean of air surrounds our planet and there aren’t any stop signs, impassable terrain, or speed limits in the sky. There are some unfortunate limitations. The fundamental most annoying limitation is the lack of parking lots or parking spaces up there in the air. However, just a little higher and quite a bit faster, unlimited parking is available in orbit. The technology for low earth orbit is tried and trued, so it makes no sense to arbitrarily limit myself to atmospheric flight.

Space has its own set of limitations. Provisioning and refueling are complicated by the necessity of first having the consumables brought up to orbit from the surface. Makes more sense, to just visit the surface for resupply. Mostly government and airport regulations interfere with that. They refuse to let you land just anywhere or whenever you choose. Unless you can land on water. There are some restrictions on where seaplanes can land, but places still exist without any restrictions, or very few. The best option I think, is to land well away from civilization, then creep up on it. Submerged.

That was what I decided my new body should be. The nearly perfect prosthesis I created to replace my body is a submersible spaceplane.

Flying submarines aren’t a revolutionary idea. The British military leaders discussed the possibilities with their principal aircraft manufacturers in 1920. In 1934, Soviet engineer Boris Ushakov sketched a design for a submersible aircraft. I’ve posted his conning tower-equipped design as my coversheet, though it doesn’t even remotely resemble my ship. In 1961 Donald Reid designed and built the Reid Flying Submarine 1. The Lockheed Martin Cormorant drone aircraft was intended to be launched and retrieved from submarines, then canceled in 2008 due to budget cuts.

What does my ship look like? A huge hybrid four poster bed frame with rocket feet combined with a four-rotor toy drone on steroids. Building a practical flying submarine capable of reaching orbit is an accomplishment to be proud of. A unique milestone in aviation.

What do you think of my new suit? The clothes make the man. Right? It can’t become trendy. The hoi polloi can’t afford it. Even the super-rich will balk at the expense of whimsically emulating my style. I need this unique vehicle as my replacement body, they don’t. So what if it isn’t yet and unlikely to ever be in vogue. I’m unique.

Presently, I’m relaxing in orbit while recuperating from neural surgery. Motor control over my mouth, nose, and tongue are all that is available to me to work with. Mutual pleasure is preferable so I elected some modifications allowing me to derive pleasure while simultaneously providing pleasure. A few extra uncommon connections to my pleasure center intrigued me as a good idea.

There are many problems unique to my limitations remaining to be resolved. Before I can invite women on board, I first have to meet and get acquainted with them. How do I manage meeting women? Post personal ads? Use an online dating service? Hire an agent to arrange a meeting for me? It’s not a simple issue. Arrange to have my head served to them on a covered platter?

‘Good evening, ma’am. You ordered tongue, mine is available.”

Where in the world would my chances of success be best, the women most uninhibited or most desperate? What will we have in common to talk about? Physical activity such as dancing, physical fitness, and all sports are eliminated as possible common interests. Maybe not all sports. Diving is something I might do with the aid of some specialized equipment. Scuba gear wouldn’t be suitable for me, but hard hat diving might.