Chapter 32

He told me that Danny had forbidden Fartbox from giving up her ass to him. “She said I am obsessed with butts. He wants me to fuck her cunt, but it is too slippery and it has all that weird skin and stuff. It looks like an open wound to me. Who’d want to mess with that when assholes are just so pretty? And I like tight assholes. You’ve got a really amazing one, Mom.”

I thanked him and let him finish nutting in my ass. Chris didn’t take long. He smiled and thanked me.

I put on a matching bra and panties, a tee shirt, and my only remaining pair of high-waisted mom jeans. I felt ‘blah’ in the outfit, so I added a pair of heels to at least give me a modicum of femininity. I thought about inserting one of the butt-plugs, but Kendrick had told me this part of my life was over, and it felt wrong to pretend it wasn’t.

I have to say that I was conflicted because I felt tremendously guilty. I was a mother and a wife. I had shirked those responsibilities for a week to live out a fantasy or participate in a bet or whatever you want to call it. I had not been home to listen to my kids, help them with their problems, clean or cook. I had left them on their own with one parent to handle everything. It seemed entirely unfair to do that to them.

I also spent a little time doing my hair and makeup. Earrings and a necklace made me feel truly decadent.

I knocked on Kendrick’s office door before opening it, feeling a little worried about opening the door before being given permission to enter. I never used to knock at all until all this had begun, then I’d been clearly told I was to wait until given permission to enter. Kendrick was at his desk, on the phone.

I quickly slipped inside, gently closing the door behind me. I didn’t know when it had become a thing for me to be nervous being in Kendrick’s office, but I certainly was now. This had always been a part of the house that was clearly Ken’s domain. Like his sanctum. He’d never really liked anyone just coming in unannounced and I was certainly doing that.

Ken’s expression when he saw me enter went from annoyed to happy, but the expression seemed contrived, like he was only happy with me entering without permission because he felt he should show that. Still, he motioned me to the couch while he interrupted the person talking on the other end of the phone to tell them something had come up and he needed to get off the line.

I moved in that direction, but I couldn’t bring myself to sit. It just seemed wrong to sit on furniture now. I wanted to kneel, but instead, I stood, wringing my hands nervously. Kendrick didn’t notice. He was still focused on getting off the phone.

He made a motion like he was wordlessly encouraging the person on the other end of the phone to wrap it up, lifting his eyes to the ceiling before interrupting again and telling the person to just get busy with whatever he’d instructed them to do.

When he put the phone down, he said, “Interns, what can ya do?” He smiled again. It was rhetorical. I didn’t need to answer that, but I did apologize for interrupting him. He got up from his desk and came over to me.

I was too nervous to bring up my concerns right away. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I mumbled.

“Yes, honey. We took things too far,” he admitted and seemed ashamed of himself. I didn’t want him to feel that way. I wanted to comfort my husband, but I remained still.

“I lost the contest fair and square,” I said.

“Honey, that contest was hard and you did your best. I had no idea Jane would make you fuck a dog or eat one out. She said she would puppy train you. I suppose I should have asked more questions. I really don’t know how you are going to forgive me for this. Oh, before I forget, here is your phone. It’s all charged and ready to go and I have your wedding band when you’re ready for it.”

He handed me my cell phone. I hadn’t had this since before the house slavery began. It felt strange to have in my hand. He reminded me that I should probably call my mom and catch up with her. She would never believe what I had been doing. I am sure it would give my father a heart attack to know that shy little Carrie grew up to be such a huge doggy slut.

“I don’t have any hard feelings at all about this. If you want to hear me tell you I forgive you, then I do. However, there is nothing to forgive. I asked for this, and you made it a reality,” I assured him.

Kendrick said that Danny would probably like to hear that too. “He felt like he was too harsh on you. This past week he has been a little more accommodating to Fartbox. He was worried he was too rough on you.”

“No, not at all,” I admitted truthfully.

“Oh c’mon, we hung you upside down and dunked you in a bucket of water.”

“Well, you did that to a lot of girls,” I pictured how it must have looked to have four naked girls upside down in the nude like that. It seemed like a fond memory to me. I was hardly upset about it.

“So is there anything else? I need to get back to work, and I am sure you want to explore your new freedom. Here are your credit cards. You should go shopping for some new clothes. We threw out a lot of your old ones. I am surprised those mom jeans survived. They look good on you. You lost a little weight while you were at the neighbors house,” Kendrick admired my figure.

“Thank you Master,” I blushed and quickly corrected myself. I called him Kendrick and walked out of the room. While I’d waited for his phone call to end, I had imagined begging him to not go back to the way things were. I fantasized that I told him I’d be his loyal doggy slut - man’s best friend. I knew it sounded depraved and entirely self-indulgent. The kids still needed a mother, and he’d had to do the work of two parents while I was away.

I knew I was thinking self-indulgent thoughts so although I wanted to say something, I didn’t. My family had spent a lot of time and effort training me to say what was on my mind but I was sure they hadn’t envisioned me vocalizing something so selfish when they’d begun that training, so I left Master’s study before I embarrassed myself.

I returned to the bathroom. It was the only ‘room’ I had now. My husband’s bedroom still felt off-limits to me. I began to masturbate as I sat on the toilet and caught up on Facebook. My mom had tried to reach me several times and was worried about me. I sent her a note saying that I had been on a short vacation where there was no internet and for her not to worry.

It felt wrong to play with myself without permission but I tried to anyway. I was supposed to be going back to my life as Carrie. Conversely, I knew I NEEDED permission to cum. It had been liberating and frustrating to be told when and how to cum.

It had been impossibly pleasurable to be told I couldn’t cum when I desperately wanted to reach orgasm. My desire had made it so naughty and rewarding when I finally earned permission and now that I had been told I could just cum whenever I wanted, something was missing to the point I couldn’t just tip over the edge ... I stopped playing with my sad, lonely wet pussy and got dressed again.

I was aware that it was time to face reality. I had to go back to being a mom, and that was simply that. It wasn’t like I could tell anyone that my choice would be not to. My family needed a wife and mother. That was the role I’d once had and that was the role I had no choice but to reclaim. Master had spoken.

When I walked downstairs, Jessica was squatting over a huge dildo. She was sucking Danny’s cock in the living room while Kristine and Chris watched TV like her doing that was no big deal. They even waved at me. I waved back.

“What was our bet if I lost?” I asked my daughter.

“What?” she spoke with a mouthful of cock like she was trying to swallow an Italian sausage whole.

“I remember you saying that I lost the bet if I quit,” I asked.

“I honestly don’t remember what the stakes were,” Jessica giggled into her brother’s cock and shrugged it off like a silly bimbo.

I knew we’d had some sort of bet before the month of slavery had began but I honestly couldn’t remember now either. It must have been a whole lot of nothing in comparison to what we’d actually done so if Jessica didn’t care anymore, then who was I to argue?

I shrugged and went into the kitchen to begin to prepare dinner. I realized I’d need to go to the grocery store to get some things. I felt the family must have starved or eaten takeout most nights because they raided the pantry and there wasn’t much left for me to work with for tonight’s dinner.

I set a place for myself at the table. It felt weird thinking that I’d be sitting with the family again. Kristina was the first to enter the kitchen, followed by Chris and their father. Kristina gave me the stink-eye. I could tell she was still simmering over the fact she had put so much effort into training me only to have it all end so abruptly.

“I thought you would be relieved to see me dressed and back to normal?” I acknowledged my youngest daughter’s sour face.

“Normal? You ate my pussy to win a contest with the neighbor.”

That was true. I blushed and looked at my feet.

Danny dragged his sister into the kitchen by her tits and hair. He was pulling her hard and she seemed to love it. Cum was still dripping down her chin. I offered her a place at the table, but she laughed and said she had already eaten.

“Do you have a cage you are supposed to go into then?” I asked.

“No, I’ll just hang out and play duck-duck-goose with Daddy and Christian’s cocks,” Jessica said as she squatted under the table and unzipped her father and Christian’s pants. I felt a twinge of guilt and jealousy. Jessica could continue her role as house slut, but I had to go back to my old ways. The whole life-ain’t-fair thing bounced around in my head. I wanted to be under the table sucking cock and tasting cum.

I quickly noticed Fatbox didn’t seem to even have to call them by titles of respect anymore. I considered correcting her lapse but felt it wasn’t my place to. I’d missed so much that assuming there was no reason for it would be like assuming it was wrong for her to be sucking cock under the table. That might be wrong for any other family, but not ours.

“What’s the first thing you are going to do now that you are free?” Kendrick asked, sounding honestly curious. He was able to pretend that his daughter hadn’t just started playing with his dick under the table and instead he appeared completely focused on what I’d decide was the most important first act as ‘Carrie’.

“I’m not sure,” I replied as I sat down, carefully resisting the urge to call Kendrick, Master. The food in front of me seemed so weird. It was fresh, hot, aromatic and yet strangely unappealing. Don’t get me wrong. Dog food is disgusting, and it took a lot of willpower to choke it down, but I no longer felt entitled to eat ‘people food’.

I felt like I was a fraud for having so much of what I’d prepared, right in front of me to consume at my leisure. Table scraps would have been more appetizing. I think the best way to describe it would be to mention the time just before the sex Olympics when Master had ordered pizza. My ‘share’ consisted of Christian’s olives and Kristina’s mushrooms.

They’d eaten at the table and Fartbox and I had been kneeling next to the dining table, our mouth’s watering at the sight and smell of all that yummy, cheesy gooey deliciousness so close yet so far away. It had been THEIR food, not ours and it made me want it so much more than if I’d had my own.

Princess was being Princess. She’d picked a piece of mushroom off her slice and she’d thrown it at me instead of setting it on her plate as she usually did. It was something of a million-to-one shot. She’d thrown it at my head, thinking she’d hit me with it. I’d instinctively snapped it right out of the air, chewed it then swallowed it.

“Whoa! Did anyone else see that?” She asked, clearly impressed.

“What?” Chris replied.

“Drip just snatched my piece of mushroom right out of the air!”

“Really? Let me try.” Chris then threw a piece of his olive at me. It hit my forehead and fell to the floor.

I don’t like olives or mushrooms. Yet I’d wanted to catch both. Eating the mushroom had felt like I’d earned it. It tasted exactly like a mushroom, yet It’d been food I’d earned. I really got into the game as Kristina and Christian cleared their slices of all the mushroom and olive they had. The olive had been my favorite, but only because I’d ultimately caught more of it with my mouth than bites of the mushroom.

If I’d had my own slice of pizza in front of me, with mushroom and olive on it, I would have picked those off. Maybe it was just because there would be no challenge to it? Maybe it was because I didn’t want what I prepared for myself but what I was given? It just felt wrong to eat something I gave myself, like the plate of food in front of me at the table.

Then there was the matter of utensils. I have perfectly good lips and teeth. My jaw worked fine. So really, what was the benefit of utensils anyway? Eating with my face in a bowl gave me something to either clean off myself as a treat for later or to offer to someone else to lap up like Fartbox had done so frequently with cum left on my face.

I was to be Carrie again. That meant sitting at a table, using a knife and fork and eating what I’d prepared. It was a little depressing to me to be honest, but that was to be my future. I had to be Carrie, wife and mother again.

“Well, is there anyone you want to fuck right away?” Kendrick told me I had earned my freedom and the right to give it up to whoever I pleased. He seemed strangely proud of me.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

I felt as though I wanted to be TOLD to fuck. But more than that. To be hinest, I wanted to be told HOW to fuck and what hole to use. I had less interest in choosing for myself than I’d thought I would. Here’s the playground, use what you want - but that didn’t interest me as much as I’d thought. I wanted to be given permission to use the swings or the monkey bars and prohibited from using the slides for reasons of someone else’s choosing.

“Gah, most of a month as a slave and now you are back to avoiding questions and half-answers,” Kristine chided me.

I had been trained to give complete and whole answers before the doggy training. It was one of the most difficult things about the training for me. I am shy at times, and I have never been one to elaborate on things. I found it easier to DO dirty things than I did to actually talk about wanting to do them.

“Sorry, Princess” I smiled my apology.

“Don’t EVER call me that again,” Kristine folded her arms across her chest angrily. I was shocked by the intensity of her reaction.

Kendrick scolded her for talking back to me. “Your mom has been through hell and back. She did all of that and now it’s over. This is going to take a little adjustment for all of us, but I need you to start respecting your mother again.”

‘Fat chance,’ Kristina didn’t say it out loud, but her face certainly told me that was how she felt. I didn’t blame her. I told Kendrick that I didn’t mind, but he wouldn’t have it.

“We reduced the expectations on Fartbox because we went too far with her too,” he reminded everyone at the table.

“Yeah, technically I don’t have to suck dad’s dick if I don’t want to,” my daughter smiled from under the table and then took his entire hard cock down her throat with practiced precision as if to prove that she wanted to do it. She’d learned new tricks too. I found myself feeling very proud of my daughter.

“Gross,” Kristina kicked her sister in the butt while she was under the table. Fartbox kicked back playfully with her rear leg. The discipline that we were under had definitely broken down and they were a lot more casual about things.

“It must be nice to finally eat real food again?” Kendrick changed the subject. He apologized that he hadn’t gone grocery shopping while I was away. “It just got a little hectic, and frankly, I was too lazy to do it.”

“Actually, I don’t like it,” I pushed the pasta dish I was eating aside.

“You love Chicken Alfredo,” he reminded me. I certainly used to like it.

“Just pretend the Alfredo sauce is a bunch of jizz,” Chris teased me. He was making a joke, but the word ‘pretend’ hit home with me. I felt it was now or never. I had to make a decision. It was one I was skeptical about making for so many reasons. I had only been home a few hours and I already felt like a stranger looking out of my own eyes.

“You know it could use a little flavoring,” I smiled at him. I stood up and unbuttoned my jeans. I put the plate on the floor and pulled down my jeans and panties. Then I squatted over the alfredo and squeezed my son’s cum out of my ass onto the plate while the others looked on in shock.

“You said I am free to do anything I want to do,” I pointed out to Kendrick as he watched me wiggle my bare ass over the Alfredo to ensure that the slow-drip of cum out of my ass made it onto my food.

“Yeah, but I meant that you didn’t have to do what we told you anymore,” Kendrick seemed baffled. His face turned red as if he was panicking.

“If you really mean that, then think about this. I want to go back to how things were,” I said as I removed my shirt and bra while I squatted.

I know my husband assumed I meant as a house slave. In truth, at first I was not sure what I meant. I didn’t really want to live as a house slave any longer either but I was speaking my mind instead of practicing avoidance like Princess had accused me of. Just being free of my clothes felt liberating and helped me with that.

In a way it felt like I spent an hour removing the rest of my clothes but in reality, I know it was only seconds. In that time, a lot happened inside my head. I’d decided what I certainly didn’t want. That was easy.

I didn’t want to be Carrie, a responsible wife and mother. It just wasn’t me and felt like a lie. The second part of what my family had been training me to do, the understated part of being open with my feelings, was being honest about them.

I certainly didn’t want to be Carrie and I didn’t think I wanted to be a house slave. What DID I want? Sex was an easy answer, but not as Carrie. At least as a house slave, I was used. THAT was something I loved. I didn’t want to have to vocalize myself all the time. As a puppy for Jane, that had not come up a single time. I LOVED that. I also loved the training both her and Princess had subjected me to.

I loved Rocco. She’d become a close friend in the week I’d spent with her. I loved how proud my husband and children were of me when I learned a new trick. I loved curling up in the sun and I loved just crawling over and getting a drink from a ready bowl whenever I got thirsty. I knew what I wanted.

“I mean as a puppy girl, Master.” I got on all fours and put my face over the alfredo, but I didn’t eat. I would need permission for that.

“We’ve been over this, sweetie. I even apologized for going way over the top. I can admit when I’m wrong,” he reminded me. Kendrick had never hesitated to admit his shortcomings, but this time, I felt that he had made a decision without knowing all the facts. Facts I hadn’t shared with him. “You probably just need a period of adjustment. I can’t just yank you out of subspace and expect you to return to normal,” he rationalized.

I hadn’t heard the term subspace before. I eventually learned it was where a woman’s mind goes when she is deep into submission. My daughter went there all the time when Danny beat her tits and cunt.

“I know it is selfish of me. You all deserve a mother and a parent. I have responsibilities to all of you. Kendrick, you deserve a wife who will be your partner. I thought I could, but I just can’t go back to being that person.”

“You haven’t even given it a try yet,” Kendrick pleaded with me.

“I was Carrie for thirty-four years prior to this. I know what it is like to be Carrie and I don’t want it. I’ll give you a divorce and ask for nothing if that’s what you want. I will ask Jane to take me or find someone who wants to keep me as a pet. I don’t want to be a burden or an embarrassment to you. You can marry someone who will be the wife you need...” I said before I broke into silent tears.

“You don’t really mean that,” Kendrick was exasperated. I did and didn’t really mean it. I didn’t want to leave my family. I mean that with all of my heart, but I felt it was the only way I could live the way I felt I was meant to live.

The emotional turmoil I felt at that moment is indescribable. What I wanted most was also the most disappointing thing anyone could ever have wanted FROM me. I knew that, yet I STILL wanted it more than anything else. And now I’d said the words out loud, I knew there could be no taking them back. Not that I wanted to, but I was aware of the bridges I was burning while I sat back and watched the flames.

“I don’t want to spend any more time pretending to be someone I’m not, Master. If you can’t provide me what I’ve come to know that I want, then I’ll have to go somewhere where someone can. It’ll break my heart, but it’s something that I just HAVE to do. And I’ll be forever grateful to you and Mistress Jane for showing me that it’s even possible.”

At that point, I began to sob. I was crying tears of loss and anguish that Kendrick was surely going to reject my request. He’d said earlier that he wanted his wife back. But I couldn’t BE that wife anymore. I was a hopeless mother, a selfish bitch and I was prepared to leave the family I love just to fulfill my desire to be humiliated, degraded, punished and kept like an animal.

Kendrick seemed confused and frustrated. He had given me my freedom and couldn’t comprehend why I wasn’t grateful for that.

“Kristina is right,” I managed between sobs. “My children will never respect me again as a mother. They are old enough now that they don’t really need me anyway. Christian fucked my ass while I was in the shower and I just let him,” I admitted, my cheeks burning with shame and desire.