Chapter 1

Google translate has come a long way in twenty years. It’s incredible to me that I can just speak into a pickup, and my exact words appear on the tablet, but in English. I know it’s got something to do with all the cameras too but don’t ask me. That’s Christian’s business.

Just know that I’m not here giving a review of a translation device, though. I’m sharing my family’s story at the behest of my youngest son and he promised I wouldn’t have to say a single word in English - the device would translate everything it sees and hears and even figure out what I mean.

He’s the genius who completely rewrote the code. Oops, a mistake. I meant behest earlier, but ‘bed head’ appeared. Never mind. Christian coded something that will fix that but it takes a minute. There, it changed right in front of me and it’s all fixed like magic! I’ve spent twenty-two years learning my language and Christian’s app learned how to translate it in a week. He’ll read it before you do, so it’ll be as perfect as he can make it by the time it’s read by the public anyway.

I suppose the first thing I should do is introduce my family and share a little about each of them. I’ll proceed in age order. That way, no one feels like they should have been mentioned first. I apologize in advance if any of my family doesn’t agree with what I say, but I was told in no uncertain terms that I was to be true to myself. The hardest part will be not coloring my account with things I learned down the road. This is not about making myself seem wiser than I am.

Where to start ... well, I guess I’ll pretend I’m back in 2018. I’ve been married to my husband Kendrick for 18 years. That’s Kendrick Mason for those who want to Google him for any reason. He’s just started his new job. It pays quite a bit more than his last one but most importantly, he works from home now.

It’s good for him, but every bit as wonderful for me and the kids too. His favorite sport is high school football, and his favorite child is Danny, who plays high school football. Kendrick owns the jersey and everything. He’s the school team’s biggest fan.

Danny Mason is our first born. He’s 17 and is the captain of the high school football team. I’m so proud ... shit. I can’t erase what I’ve already said, so either Chris will leave it in or he’ll take it out manually. I don’t want to mess up again. But even in 2018, I was proud of Danny, so that’s okay too, I suppose. I’m just nervous. I’ll be more careful from now on. Sorry, Chris.

[editor’s note: This story has been printed in its entirety, false starts and all. The author is solely responsible for her fuckups]

What I meant to say was that even though Danny is a Junior, he’s the captain of the football team. For a while he had a lovely little girlfriend called Bambi, who was one of the top cheerleaders in the squad but he dumped her in a very public way that doesn’t matter to the story.

Danny’s dad is his hero, and he’s basically following in Kendrick’s footsteps. He’d do anything for his dad, and most of Kendrick’s decisions are based around Danny. It’s just how it is.

I’m not jealous or anything, and I know it hasn’t hurt you any, Chris. Damn. I’ll do better, I promise. I’m talking to the reader, not the editor. I know, and I’m sorry. Nerves, okay? I’m not really a space cadet like Bambi. FUCK! Scratch that. I AM a dummy. You will find out why soon enough.

Whew. Where was I? Oh, Jessica. My oldest daughter. She’s as close to 16 as damn it. Her birthday is in three weeks as of the start of this story. She’s my girl. I admit it. Everyone has a favorite, and Jessica’s always been mine. I love them all, but Jessica’s just a mini-me. There are things about Jessica that only I knew back in 2018, but I guess I’m supposed to share everything, so I’ll just say it.

In 2018, Jessica’s a wild child. She occasionally drinks and does a little pot and often sneaks out to be with boys, unlike her brothers and sister. Her big thing is that she has just auditioned for a part in a real movie and we’ve recently received a letter saying she’s being considered for the part. She has only ever been in local commercials before, but this movie has an actual Hollywood star in it, even if he was someone who hasn’t been really popular in years.

My youngest daughter is Kristina, a fraternal twin to Christian. Kristina has the lead in the school play at just fourteen. She’s going to give Jessica a run for her money. Like Danny, she’s the youngest lead ever for the high school play. She takes after her father, and everything she does is to please him. Her secret is that she thinks she’s falling in love with another girl at school. Crap. I wasn’t supposed to say that yet. Ignore that last part. Kristina dreams of one day running a pet shelter or becoming a veterinarian. My husband is allergic to dogs so we have never bought her a puppy of her own.

Kristina’s twin brother, Christian, is nothing like her. He’s a shy, video game-playing nerd who’s assumed to be gay. Sorry Chris, but it’s true. We all figured we knew it even back then. As much as your dad hated the idea. Oops, I’m talking to the reader. Right.

Chris has nerdy friends who don’t like to visit our house because they’re too intimidated by his sisters. Chris doesn’t mind or care. He spends more time with them online than any of his siblings spend in person with their friends anyway.

He is neat, considerate and well-groomed. His dad and I have suspected he is possibly gay for a long time. I think a lot of people make that assumption based on Chris’s behavior and high pitched tone of voice.

Next in the cast of characters would be Jane and Tom Jones. They’re new in town. They snuck into the neighborhood right under my nose. They have two kids, Elizabeth, who’s just turned 15, and James. James is ... Nope, I’m getting there. No giving up future events. I know, I know. I’m saying stuff I don’t need to. Gawd, I hope you edit all this out, Chris. I’ll sound like a total ditz queen if you don’t!

Oh, I almost forgot to introduce myself! My name is Carrie Mason, and in 2018, I’m still a proud new housewife. I’ve spent 20 years in the workforce, and with Ken’s new job, we could finally afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom.

It’s something I’ve dreamed of for years. I’m fairly trim, but I have a big butt. Well big compared to Kristina, that is. Bigger than my boobs, sort of big. People would call me pear-shaped but a little pear. I’m 5’6,” and I weigh 135lbs, of which probably 30 of those pounds is in my butt. Still, my new neighbor Jane is rounder than me, but her weight is in her chest. She has a big butt too, though, I promise.

I have blondish hair just more than shoulder length and I have grayish eyes. I always wanted green ones. And my breasts sag. At least what there is of them. If I hadn’t breast fed, I’d be almost flat-chested I think but my nipples are big. They’re not my favorite feature but they do the job of keeping Kendrick happy. I really like my nose most of all. And my toes. I’m quite proud of my ass too, no matter that everyone says it’s big. I think Christian wants to add pictures from the family album so I don’t need to describe myself anyway. And he says he has a surprise for Jessica but he wont say what. Just that it’ll help her career.

So what’s next. I’ve got this now. I’m going to start with a hook to get the reader interested. I can do that!

“START FAMILY HISTORY.
Is that right, Chris?”

[editor’s note: NO! Duh!]

Even as I spread the toothpaste over my labia, I was berating myself for agreeing to the bet. I was just so caught up in the moment, and I’d been on a roll. I’d guessed that two red cars would drive down our street before two blue cars did, and I’d been able to give Jessica my supercilious smile when I was proved right.

Then I’d correctly guessed Chris would get home before Danny. That had prompted Jessica to offer a bet with consequences, like a double or nothing thing. We didn’t always bet for stakes. It was just how we often passed the time together, like a bonding thing. It was our special bonding thing that only Jessica and I did.

But Jessica is as competitive as me, and after losing two in a row, she pulled out one of her prepared bets, as I like to call them. We both have them. They’re bets that favor the one suggesting it. Then she suggested the stakes.

The loser would have to spread toothpaste on their bits and pieces and keep it there at least an hour. That might sound like nothing to some people, but that minty freshness starts to burn after a little while and makes you dance.

I immediately began to imagine Jessica squirming around, Chris, Kristina and Danny wondering what her problem was. The twist, Jessica had assured me, was that the loser also had to sit in the living room and read a book and pretend like the book was really exciting. Like they were squirming in arousal, right in front of the family.

She bet Chris would get straight onto his video game when he got home. I was sure Chris had an assignment to finish since it was due the next morning, but Jessica had insider knowledge I didn’t have. She knew he’d finished his assignment during his study period at school, so I happily leapt at the chance to live vicariously through my daughter’s discomfort and assured embarrassment.

Well, I lost. Sure enough, Chris dropped his school bag, grabbed a drink and a snack and plopped himself in front of the game console in the living room. I had to do the secret walk of shame to the bathroom. Jessica sniffed loudly when I returned.

“Mom? Did you just brush your teeth? You smell like toothpaste,” she said unnecessarily, taking a second, long sniff in my direction. At least I was wearing clothes – although I felt that Chris could see right through my pants and tell I had coated my labia with tooth-paste.

It was an incredibly naughty game and not one most mothers play with their eldest daughters. I have to admit a part of me found these bets to be thrilling and a part of me felt incredibly guilty I was playing them.

“There’s never a bad time for that,” I snapped back curtly. I hated it when Jessica won a consequence bet.

I sat myself on the couch and curled my legs up under me with the first book I could grab off the bookshelf. Wouldn’t you know it? Calculus for Accountants. One of Kendricks’s reference books. Damn. Hopefully, no one noticed. The toothpaste started really making itself known within minutes. I wanted to sit up, spread my thighs and catch some sort of breeze, but I was wearing slacks. I certainly hadn’t thought this through.

Instead, I ignored my discomfort and faked a giggle. X equals 7P? Hilarious and totally arousing ... Riiiiight. At least me subtly grinding my thighs together momentarily helped, and for some reason, I began to feel a little swampy between my thighs as if I really was turned on or something. I hoped Danny was too engrossed in his game to smell my musk even though it was quickly overpowering the minty toothpaste smell.

“Good book?” Jessica smirked from across the room where she sat, watching me intently. Luckily she didn’t insist on an answer, so I was given a reprieve from having to reply. “Are you guys cold? I’m cold. I’m going to turn the thermostat up a bit,” she announced, then wound the knob all the way to its maximum setting.

The furnace instantly kicked on. She was intent on making this as uncomfortable and embarrassing for me as she could, and there was nothing I could do about it except plan my revenge. She left it on high until Danny complained, shucking his shirt as if to make his point. I couldn’t do that, but I wished I could!

By the end of the hour, I had beads of sweat on my brow, and all I could think of was how good the hair dryer set on cold would feel against my sex. I practically ran to my bathroom and closed the door. The hairdryer actually felt better than wonderful, and I couldn’t help myself.

I rubbed one out in my bedroom imagining how I was going to humiliate Jessica after what she’d just put me through. Those thoughts led me to a very satisfying little climax, and I kept them in mind for when I had sex tonight with Ken. Although I’d be imagining myself in Jessica’s shoes as usual, of course.

Before my hour on the couch had been up, Jessica had had Danny looking at me as if I was an exotic bug or something, and Kristina was snickering at me. Danny stayed oblivious. I know my youngest daughter thought I was acting like a horny teen reading a romance novel. It was awful.

I really had no idea why imagining myself as Jessica in my fantasies - being the one subjected to heaped humiliation - was so much better than the reality of Jessica doing her damndest to humiliate me in real life. I never wanted to relive my own humiliating bet losses but just imagining what I’d go through if I had to bear what I dreamed of putting Jessica though, sent my libido into overdrive. I guess it just proves that fantasy is always so much better than reality. One day soon though, I’d really make Jessica pay.

She’d skimmed the line too closely for comfort, and the bet had bordered on open sexuality for the first time. Well, if that’s the way Jessica wanted to play it, two could play at that game, I said to myself. I’d recently had a fantasy of Jessica being staked out on the beach with little sand crabs climbing all over her body and into her privates, while onlookers laughed and pointed at her, doing nothing to help her. We don’t live anywhere near a body of water so I’d have to amend the price of losing the next bet, but it would definitely include being staked out, spreadeagled and helpless. I managed another quick cum before Kendrick got back from his trip to Staples, and I had to get onto dinner.

The next morning, after the kids were off to school, I decided to air dry the sheets since it was such a nice day. Kendrick had strung up an old-fashioned clothesline in our backyard for me. The HOA would have frowned on such a thing, but no one could see it from the road, and there were tall fences down both sides of the house, so what the neighbors didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. I’d just have Kendrick take the line down again when I was finished with it.

I had hung a couple of sheets up and was about to hang a third when movement through the hedgerow at the back of the property caught my eye. I realized the Jacobsen place behind us was now occupied! It had been months since the Jacobsen’s had moved, and I wondered who had moved in. I dropped the sheet back into the basket and casually moved closer to the hedgerow. There was a woman about my age laying in the grass, sunbathing.

Not just sunbathing though. She was NUDE sunbathing! Now there was a woman after my own heart. I wished I had the courage to do something like that, but as a mom with children, it was not something I’d ever seriously contemplate. I glanced up at the back of our house. Kendrick’s study looked down over our yard and the neighbor’s. From there, he’d have an unobstructed view of our new, top-heavy neighbor laying there naked, if he cared to look. But I knew Kendrick so I knew he’d be hard at work and not gazing off into the neighbor’s yard. Still, I figured I should introduce myself.

“Um, hi? I’m your new neighbor, Carrie. You’re so brave!” I exclaimed, not really intending to gush as much as I did. My neighbor jerked as if she’d been stung, looking around wildly before she saw me waving at her through a gap in the hedge.

“Oh! Sorry! I never even thought about the back neighbor. I’m so sorry!” She apologized for being naked while covering her breasts. “I hope you’re not angry!” She seemed to blush at being caught undressed.

“Not angry, jealous!” I laughed. I could never-nude sunbathe. My kids would never let me live it down,” I giggled nervously. “Don’t mind me. I was just surprised new people had moved into that house without me knowing about it.

“We only got in a few days ago and then I had to get Elizabeth enrolled and stuff,” she replied, slowly removing her hands from her chest as if deciding I really was being honest about not minding her state of undress. “I’m Jane, by the way.”

“Carrie. So, you just have Elizabeth?” I asked, making conversation.

“Just? If you could call it that. She’s definitely enough of a handful but there’s James as well. He’s fourteen but only barely. Teenagers, you know?” Jane replied. “And then there’s Tom. He’s like an overgrown teenager too, but he’s already off on a business trip. He’s my husband, by the way. We came here from Indiana with his job. I thought it’d mean he’d be home more, but that’s what I get for thinking. How about you?”

“Four kids and a husband. Christian and Kristina, both fourteen, then Jessica, who’ll be sixteen in a couple of months as well as Danny, who’s a Junior. He’s seventeen. Kendrick is my husband.” For some reason I didn’t mention that Kendrick was upstairs in his study, possibly watching us at this very moment. It just seemed wrong to cause our pretty new neighbor embarrassment.

“My girl’s fourteen going on twenty-one. That one is going to get herself in a mess of trouble one day, mark my words. Rebellious little shit, sometimes. But I love her anyway. James kind of takes care of himself. He even enrolled himself.”

We laughed together and chatted for a few minutes about our children, Jane getting more and more comfortable after being broadsided by her nosey neighbor before I noticed a cardboard star sitting in her lap, resting against her impressive black bush of pubic hair, as if on display for me. “What’s that for?” I asked, pointing at her lap.

“You mean my babymaker?” she asked with a grin. She’d forgotten she had the cardboard star in her lap. We both blushed when we each realized what the other meant. “Oh, that’s to keep the sun off my goodies. I have a couple for the old nips too. Don’t want them to burn!”

I could imagine what sunburned nipples would feel like. I didn’t even want to think about a sunburned flower. I myself would have been in a bikini, so it just never occurred to me. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it, then. I really have to get these sheets up. There’s nothing like the smell of sun-dried sheets, but they have to hang to dry,” I laughed.

Later, I delivered Ken’s lunch and asked if he’d noticed the new neighbor. Just as I’d suspected, he’d been oblivious to our conversation through the hedgerow, near the study window. When Jessica got home from school that afternoon, I told her about the new neighbor I’d met and asked her if she’d seen her son or daughter at school.

“I bet she turns out to be a dyke,” was Jessica’s immediate assessment as she acknowledged she had indeed come across the new girl but hadn’t spotted the boy. “She dresses like an emo. Got a ring in her nose like a cow and everything,” she assured me. “As long as she leaves me alone, I’ll leave her alone. Since she’s our neighbor, I’ll spread the word, okay?” Jessica shrugged.

“That she’s gay? That wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do,” I replied, getting the wrong idea.

“No, dumbass. That she’s off-limits. Kids at school can be kind of cruel. I’m never going to be her friend but I got connections, capisce?” Jessica said, sounding just like a female mobster from the thirties. Jessica and her movie references. She wanted to be an actor, and she was always dropping lines from movies into conversation.

Oh, the nineteen-thirties, that is. Gawd I feel old when I have to remember that the thirties were almost a hundred years in the past, even in 2018. Sometimes it’s hard knowing I was born last century.

“Well, thank you, Jess. That’s very mature of you,” I assured her. “Speaking of mature, I’ve got a bet for you if you’re not too chicken?” I smirked. I knew that Jessica hated to be called a chicken.

“What have you got in mind? There’s a concert this weekend and I need tickets. It’d be nice if you wanted to buy them for me?” Jessica suggested.

“Nope. That’s a prize for later, once I figure out what lovely thing you can do for me when you lose that one too. This is something else. You know that toothpaste bet gave me plenty of time to consider how I was going to get you back, and it came to me in a brilliant flash. Loser gets to spend the night camped out on the backyard lawn.”

“Really? We haven’t camped out in ages! That sounds like the prize, not the consequence,” Jessica laughed. “So how is that a bad thing?”

“Did I say camped? I meant staked. In a bikini. All night. Creepy crawlies all over your body until I send Danny out to free you in time for breakfast. The neighbor over the hedge might see you too. Maybe even Elizabeth or James. How humiliating would it be, knowing that one of your schoolmates knew you’d been bound to the ground all night, wiggling and trying to get the ants out of your bikini bottoms.”

“The dyke and her brother are not mates. And why exactly would there be ants in there in the first place?” Jessica asked, making a face like she was sure the answer would be stupid.

“The honey, of course. Ants love honey!” I exclaimed in delight, already imagining myself laying in my warm, comfy bed imagining being tied up outside with honey smeared on my vagina.

“Okaaaay. So what’s the bet? Then we’ll get back to the prize. One day you’re going to learn that you can’t beat me, you know that, right?” Jessica boasted. She was obviously still feeling the effects of yesterday’s win.

“Danny’s playing tonight against Western,” I started. I knew Jess was well aware of that. Western was the school’s nemesis team but what I was sure Jess didn’t know, was that their star linebacker had sprained his ankle and was basically walking wounded. I’d been talking to my friend Connie on the phone at lunchtime. She had been certain her son had broken his ankle the day before and was so relieved it was only a sprain.

“Point spread?” Jess asked.

“Doesn’t matter. We win, I win. We lose, you lose. Deal?”

“You seriously want me to bet against our own team? That’s sick, mom!”