Chapter 6: When the Guy is Right

His name was Julian. He was one of the helpers, not an instructor. And he dressed plain and simple, and he wasn’t the life of the party. That meant she hadn’t paid enough attention to him. But he had a nice face, and he was super fit and strong, and he spoke with a gentle voice. He still lived at home with his family, she had heard him say, and he was pretty much the same age as her. She could see him like D-Two, now – such power, but controlled, and careful. Very Taekwondo, actually – how had she missed that?

When they sat down for drinks after their practice session, she made sure that she sat next to him, and she paid attention and drew him into the group discussion. She found that he was well informed, and caring. And quite funny too. Finally, the group broke up, and she stayed sitting next to him, looking at him in just the right way. Yup, it worked, and he asked her out, though she would’ve if he hadn’t. Friday night, they agreed. A restaurant, and then they’d go dancing.

The food was good, and the company was awesome. So was the dancing. He was good at it, and she was turned on. Fuck he was good. But she wasn’t going to rush this, so she kissed him good night – fuck that was good too, and then she met him on the beach the next morning for a swim and a run on the sand. Wow, he was fitter than she thought. Dreamy, in fact. And he sure liked the way she looked in her bikini. They spent the whole day together, doing stuff, and then he joined her with Maria, Fiona and Alan for a chill Saturday night at their place. She hugged him and sat on his lap. She could feel that he was turned on, through his pants, but he was calm and measured, and happy to wait, she was pleased to know. Yeah, this had lots of promise.

He had family stuff to do the next day, so she didn’t see him till Tuesday night at practice. And then they did Friday night and all of Saturday again. And then a party, and he was OK with it, though not really his thing. But not really her thing now either. Maybe she should she try the hug thing again? She asked him about it, and he liked the idea, and wanted to see it. She wasn’t wearing a bikini this time ... well, own it, and the black underwear she’d chosen was nice without being over the top, so that’s what she wore. She hugged with anyone who would, boy or girl, alternating with Julian, and danced on and off with them. And Julian, in his underwear too, his hands holding her tight. Fucking good! The guys remembered, or had heard, what she did the other time, so no stupid wandering hands. Especially not with a Taekwondo expert watching them hug her. Maria was there too and did it with her – she’d said it sounded awesome the first time, and she enjoyed it just as much. They showed off for everyone, with a couple of other girls, shuffling hard in their tiny underwear, yeah! Better than the girls doing it on TikTok, though they made sure no one recorded it. And the whole thing made the party interesting, and the conversation turned more serious, and personal, and even enchanting. Julian liked what she was doing, she could see, and did some hugging and dancing of his own in his jocks; guys even – she could see he was secure about it. Fuck, this was good. This was more than good.

At the end of the night, she was trying to remember why she wasn’t taking him to bed right now! But instead, he invited her to join his family the next day for church, and then a picnic in the park. Church? Really? But then she remembered what Sal had said about religion, and decided she’d go and listen, and learn. Church, it turned out, was weird, because of all the Covid restrictions, face masks and so on, but there was a gentle intensity to it that she found attractive, and she decided that she’d think about it, and read up on it. The sermon was on forgiveness and redemption, and that spoke straight to her heart. Something to think about.

The picnic with his family was great. Julian was the middle son, with an older sister and a younger brother, a few years between them. The older sister, Steph, was lovely to her, and pregnant, just starting to show. She had a man holding her: Xander – her husband, and Larissa watched him treating her properly - she could see that his existence centred around her. Nice. The younger brother, Jaiden, played the guitar and sang to her. And his parents, James and Sophie, made her welcome and gently felt her out, getting to know who she was as a person and sharing her love of animals. They respected her when she courteously turned down the cider they offered her, and Julian put his one away after she did that. His mum asked her to go to the ladies with her and on the way said that they could see this relationship was meaningful, and she was always welcome to sleep over at their place if it was useful, that wouldn’t be a problem. The implication was clear, and she thanked his mum with a big hug, and promised to treat Julian well. She liked them all, loved his family, and she could see why they mattered to him.

She had to be honest with herself, she was head over heels for this guy. And he had all the signs of feeling the same. This really looked like it could be the big one, the one she wanted. But that was also a bit scary as well. It was all so easy, just like before things with her mum blew up. They were going to tumble into bed soon ... how could they not? But was she really ready for that? And she hadn’t talked to him about her past, or her family yet. Was that a landmine waiting to blow them up?

At least she knew what she needed to do. She told him that she had a life coach and invited him to meet Sal with her the next morning. She messaged Sal to let her know, and then said goodbye to him and went to invest in her friendships with Maria and Fiona, hoping that Maria had a better weekend than before. Which she had, Larissa was happy to find out. More than just the dancing, there was a guy ... so there was hope.

She introduced Julian and Sal the next morning. She could tell straight away that Sal approved of him. Sal had this way of letting her body do the talking on subjects like that.

“Lovely to meet you, Julian, and I’ve already heard quite a bit about you, so I’m really looking forward to getting to know you. Now, has Larissa told you much about me, and what we’re doing?”

“No, she just said she had you as a life coach, and she wanted us to meet. I don’t even know what a life coach is. But I can see that you’re important to Larissa.”

Sal looked at Larissa. “How do you want to do this? How much does he know?”

“Not that much of anything. Can I tell him, please?”

“OK, sure. Before we start, Julian, please listen to all the story before you make any judgements. You’re going to find parts of it difficult and sad. Larissa is an amazing girl, but she’s got some challenges she wants to tell you about, and I’m here to give her strength and maybe some gentle direction. I know that Larissa is only telling you about this because she thinks you’re very important to her, much more than I am.”

“Julian, can I sit in your lap for this? I need all the strength I can get.”

Julian looked concerned, but he was always good with Larissa sitting in this lap.

She told him about seeing Dave and Kat on the beach, and about her string of failed relationships and bad sex after that, and then giving up and inviting herself on Dave, and then meeting Kat and Sal, and what they said, and how she agreed that she was fucked up.

“And I am still fucked up, but a lot less than then. I really like you a lot, but I need you to help me be less fucked up. First, let me tell you why I’m fucked up.” And she told him about her father, and mother, and her rape, and their response, and how that played out. He was horrified, Larissa could see, and he held her and cried.

“Yeah, so that’s why I’m fucked up. And so here was broken me, in this café, talking to Sal, after I thought I was just going to get fucked over by some guy, and she offered to help me. And so this is what we’ve done since then.” Then she gave Julian a quick summary of what had happened, and the principles her D’s gave her to live by.

“So, now here I am, sitting in the lap of the guy I want to be my one, having told you just how fucked up I am. Now you know why I’ve been holding back on you. Not anymore. I promise, I’m working as hard as I can be to be better, and I want to be better with you. And now, I’m done telling you stuff, and I’m in your hands, and just as nervous as the first time I came here.”

In response, Julian took her face in his hands, and kissed her deeply. Larissa responded back in kind. Fuck, this was fucking great. Completely committed to this, and now, totally desperate to fuck this guy. No. Time to stop using that word: totally ready to blow his mind off the earth.

Then Julian stopped, and said, “Larissa, I could tell there were problems there, and I’m so glad you’ve told me about them, that you’ve trusted me. That means such a lot to me. I promise to work with you to get things right with your mum, and to nurture your friendships, because I agree that they’re so important. And I think you’re just as important to me as I am to you, and I’m so glad you wanted to do this in the right order. I’m really looking forward to helping you heal and making love to you, and I feel like you’re going to be ready for that soon.”

“Oh no, now, I’m ready for that right here and now. Oh, sooo ready.”

Sal laughed. “Julian don’t push her on that, or she might do it right here.”

Larissa laughed too. “I’ve already had my tits out right here.” Then she explained that bit and she could see Julian loved that.

“Julian,” said Sal, “there’s something important here for you to think about. This whole thing started because Larissa saw Dave with Kat tied up and on display. And you can see that the question of being tied up and being shown off is part of who Larissa is. And you have some background on that. She doesn’t want that much tying up, but she needs that little amount a great deal, and it has to build her love. But you also see how dangerous it is for Larissa. Whoever she lets do that with and to her can completely destroy her, or completely redeem her. We’ve told her that she needs to be very sure before she lets anyone do that with her, and if it’s going to be you, you need to very careful with her. Also, for us – that’s Kat and I – it’s super important that it goes both ways. Whatever we want our husbands to do to us, they mostly make us do it to them, usually first. Finally, we think you should get really close and trusting before you start doing that.”