Chapter 3

It was a Friday night, and Larissa was talking to Steph on facetime before their guests started turning up for their follow up underwear party.

Talking to Steph was great preparation for the party really. It was her last day of work before the baby, and they’d had a lovely lunch for her at the hospital. She had somewhere between three and six months off, depending on how things went. She had two weeks starting from now to have sex with Xander, clean everything, have more sex with Xander, finish getting the baby’s room ready, have even more sex with Xander, and do various stretching exercises and other things to prepare for birth. And after that, she would move to the family home, or earlier if contractions started, and all she’d do then is prepare for birth, and have sex with Xander continuously, and sleep a bit.

Larissa figured she’d better start paying attention to Xander, so he’d be up for it, poor guy. He still had to work somewhere in there, and though he was game – she thought of Xander’s generous smile – a guy could only do so much. Kisses, cuddles, and the best massage she could give him, for sure. Actually, sounded like fun; she had an excuse to tease a guy ballistic, no need to deliver. Suddenly, she thought: that could be good for a couple of the girls coming to the party tonight.

Maria was first to arrive, to help getting ready. She walked in ready to go, in her underwear. Larissa and Fiona had put the word out this time ... racier underwear than last time would be appropriate, but not see through. And bras were optional this time. Maria had a scarlet red Brazilian cut panty, and a bandeau top in the same colour with a big bow in it. Trailing Maria, Larissa noticed Aaden, who had jocks in the same colour, along with a matching bow around his chest. Yeah, his chest: Aaden was definitely putting on weight across his shoulders, and his abs definitely had more shape than before. She’d thought that last time she saw Aaden, but it seemed more pronounced this time, and she commented on it while Maria was giving her welcome hug. Yeah, said Maria, every week I go without a drink, he adds to his weights, and his core exercise times. He can plank with the best now, looking pointedly at Larissa.

Maria started setting up in the kitchen, she was self-appointed drinks person tonight, with an array of interesting drinks. She’d told Larissa that non-alcoholic non-sugary drinks choices were poor and gone researching. Now she had lots of ideas. And she’d always loved running a bar, just to talk to everyone. While she set up, she told Larissa about a party she’d done that for last weekend. Larissa had got the invite, and realised it was basically going to be a full-on orgy, which wasn’t want they wanted. Not really me, either, said Maria, but I thought it would be fun to play off the side. So she’d run the open bar, and to deal with her own temptation to drink, she’d done something crazy: you had to show an id to get a drink. One you showed the id, Maria marked somewhere on your arm with a texta – wet or dry. Dry, if you registered as a driver. Drivers got a quick make out with their drink, either from Maria or Aaden – their choice. And at the end of the evening, they could turn up and get their breath tested. If they got a zero reading, they got oral sex for a minute from Maria or Aaden. “Probably that was a mistake to offer oral sex at the end of an orgy, but we still had fun.” Aaden was grinning sheepishly. “But you know what, we watched the night, and picked the best two couples, and we’re going to have a date with them! And the best bit is, the cops breath-tested everyone down the road.”

Yeah funny, but also, a bit concerning given they were expecting Maria to have a threesome with them. Julian and she had happily fallen into playing around with people – lots and lots of kissing and seductive stuff, but not much more. Maria was likely to be their only exception. Something to talk to Julian about, she thought, as Maria gave her yet another hug.

The other guests turned up. There were a few new people from the last party – Ruby was bringing her sister along with her boyfriend, and Julian had asked the girl fronting his YouTube channel. Larissa hadn’t been that thrilled, hearing that, but she decided to go ahead with her plans anyway. It was interesting to watch them at the door – Fiona would meet them, give them a bag with the name on it, and then they’d undress and stick all their clothes and phones and stuff in the bag. This party was just underwear, and everybody had to agree to that in advance. Most of the guests were fine with that, but Ruby’s sister and boyfriend found that bit a little confronting at first, she could see.

Larissa looked around the guests – eleven of them, plus the four housemates, all hanging and talking in their lounge, with gentle music in the background. Fiona was topless – just a bright pink thong for her. Larissa herself was wearing a Brazilian cut panty, and a plain bra that she’d lose later on. The rest of the girls were spread between them, a couple of others topless. The guys were mostly wearing trunks, and nothing else.

At first, the party was a little slow to get going – people were a bit self-conscious, and they’d arranged people in a kind of circle, so they knew it would take a little while for the right chill to set in. The four housemates and Maria and Aaden moved around, sitting or kneeling next to people, talking to them, and encouraging them to talk to everyone.

Larissa got to meet Layna, the girl who fronted Julian’s YouTube channel. Yeah, she was super beautiful, no doubt about it. And a really nice girl too, but yes, self-conscious about the underwear thing. “Julian invited me here, and I wanted to come because he’s a great guy. Well, you know that! Then he told me the underwear thing, and I’m torn. On the one hand, I already do it for the world to see. Everyone loves my abs and bum. So it’s not like it’s anything new tonight. But this is underwear, not a bikini. It’s just different somehow. And I never stop hearing about my body, you know? So I couldn’t decide, but then I heard about you. So hell, why not?”

Larissa rolled her eyes. Yeah, everybody had heard about her now. Kissing another girl, in the middle of uni, in the middle of a day, when the girl had a leash on? Not a good way to keep a low profile. The two girls from her course had made sure her entire course knew about it. Larissa had kind of brushed it off – yeah, I was kissing a friend, but then someone had posted a photo of her holding Zara’s face and leash and making out with her to the university student’s facebook page with a message ‘caption this!’ At least her face was obscured, that was the best she could say. But still, everyone she knew, they knew it was her. So yeah, she really had to own it. Busted on the lawn again. At least doing that had certainly got her fans, that was for sure. And Zara had loved the photo. It was up on Kat’s wall, she said. And Kat’s Whatsapp group loved it, so there was that.

“I keep doing these things, you know.” She told Layna about the video. “But I just have to own it and move on with my life. I guess you’ll have to do that too, in the end.”

“So it’s not my business, but how does Julian feel about you getting caught kissing a girl?”

Larissa smiled, “He was right there, and even in the photo, his back. And then I kissed him heaps more than her. So he didn’t mind.” Layna’s face showed her surprise. “So our relationship rules are that we can – and should – hug and kiss anyone. And we do. I do. I love to kiss. But anything more ... not at all. Except by special agreement, and only once so far. You’re going to see lots of kissing tonight, by the way, but you don’t have to unless you want to.”

Layna gave her a long look of surprise. Larissa figured she could ask now. “What about you? You’re here alone: no one in your life?”

There was the briefest hint of bitterness. “Oh no, no guy in my life. And how can there be now I do the videos? And can we not talk about the videos tonight?”

Yeah, Larissa understood, actually. Hard to have a real relationship when you’re surrounded by fans not friends. One of the girls who’d watched her in the café and then out on the lawn was infatuated with her. Straight, but totally lost it for Larissa. She seriously wanted a threesome with her and Julian. Larissa wasn’t sure how to handle it – she didn’t want to hurt the girl, but it was never going to happen. Layna would have the problem much worse. “Well, we probably will talk about them, Julian’s so excited about them, but we can just say that you help out a bit if you want. No one else here will know better. Do you regret doing them?”

“Yeah, can we do that? I’m not sure whether I regret them, actually. I totally believe in the cause, and I’m glad we’re making some waves. And the hit count gets us better access to people we want to talk to. We’ve got a wild episode coming up, but I’m sure you know.” Yeah, Larissa had heard all about it, they were taking down a big wig in the oil industry, and him not being able control himself around Layna was part of it – he opened his mouth and spilled his guts. “But I’m just not sure about how the personal impact for me will play out.”

Larissa understood. “Well, whatever happens, you can always come hang with us, and we can be friends.”

Layna was thrilled with that, and they hugged. Kiss? No, Layna wasn’t ready for that yet. Larissa decided that she’d make sure she spent more time with Layna later.

Then the pizzas arrived. To Larissa’s surprise, it was a girl doing the delivery. She looked at Larissa, and then past her, and gave her a lovely smile. “Looks like a great night. Have fun!” Once pizzas and salads were finished, and everyone was chilling again with a drink, it was time.

Larissa extracted herself from Maria, and asked Julian to come to the bedroom with her. Once there, she held out the collar, and asked him to strip, and kneel in front of her. Julian smiled at her, pushed his trunks down, and knelt in front of her. She leant down and kissed him gently and put the collar on. “Sweetie, tonight is adventure time for you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I’m going to. It’s a little wild and crazy, but you can always ask for a break in a safe space if you want. I’m not the only one watching out for you.”

Julian nodded, and she could tell he was bit nervous. She smiled, that was exactly what she was aiming for. “OK, Stand up.” He did, and she turned him around, and gently but thoroughly bound his wrists behind his back using the silk tie. “You’re going to be tied like this for a long time, and it can get difficult. Feel free to ask for a break if you need to stretch your shoulders.” Then, she pulled a pair of tight black bikini style jocks onto him and made sure his dick was properly snuggled into them. She kissed it through the jocks. “Good luck!” and then she moved him back into the lounge.

She stood Julian in the middle of the lounge and said “Everyone! Tonight, Julian is getting a fantasy adventure. You can see that he’s tied up. He’s going to get passed around the room, and he’ll get a few minutes with each of you. You are all asked to kiss him on the lips, even the guys. After that, you have a few minutes to do whatever you want. Kiss him, hug him, hands wherever you want, whatever, or you can just talk to him. Up to you. The rules are that you can’t touch him through his jocks or ask him to touch or kiss you through the underwear you’re wearing, and you can’t take him out of the room. Anything else, all good. Any questions?”

There was a stunned silence. But there were lots of smiles, she could see that. The first question was from Liam, Chelsea’s boyfriend. Chelsea was Ruby’s sister, and Liam was another Taekwondo guy, who was going to train Ruby. “Did you really ask the guys to kiss him on the lips too?” Yeah, you could hear what he thought about that.

“Yes, I did. Julian’s straight, sure. He’s not going to have sex with you. But he’s not going to have sex with any of the girls either, so how’s it different? Society tells you that you’re weak or whatever if you kiss a guy, but you kiss girls, right? Julian likes kissing guys as well as girls. Tell them about it, Julian.”

“Sure I like kissing guys. Like Larissa says, I’m not going to have sex with them, nor the girls. But what I’ve found is that after you kiss a guy, he thinks of you different and the things you talk about are different – much more personal and you have a better friendship with them. I think society would be way better off if guys kissed each other. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but ask yourself, am I strong enough to do it? Chelsea, will you kiss me?” Yes, she smiled and nodded. “So Liam, think about it. What’s different for you?”

“Any other questions?” Larissa asked.

Izzy asked, “He’s allowed to kiss my nipples? You’ll let him do that?”

“Yes, that’d be fine, but you’d have to take your bra off. Julian and I are fine for us to kiss other people, and I do it, and I’m fine for him to do that anytime too. But we don’t do more than that with anyone else. But none of you should do anything you’re not comfortable with tonight. Underwear party means hanging out and being comfortable.”

“Ok, Maria, you’re first!”

Maria cheered, and pumped her first, as if she was surprised. “Yeah, boy dolly. Over you come!” Julian went and stood in front of her, and she rubbed her hands on his chest. “Larissa’s boy has a wonderful chest. All you girls, soak it up tonight.” Then she helped him sit on the ground in front of her bean bag, sideways to her. She held his face, and they smiled at each other. “Julian, while everyone’s watching, tell the truth, is this your fantasy, or Larissa’s fantasy?”

“Well, it was a surprise to me. I didn’t have any warning. I’m doing it to make her happy, yes. But we’ve talked about this before, and I guess you could say it’s as much mine as hers. I’m certainly going to enjoy it a lot!”

Maria smiled again. “I know you’re all watching right now, and we both love to be watched. So I’m going to give Julian a good time. You all can if you want, but you don’t have to. You do what you want tonight. Julian doesn’t have a say. You don’t have to kiss him like this, for example.” With that, she laid a scorching passionate kiss on Julian, running her hands over his chest while she did it. Larissa watched with a smile, it was a full make out session, as hot as she’d had with Zara. Julian would certainly enjoy that.

Maria took a break for air. She waved her hand in front of her face. “Oh la la. Larissa, you have him well trained. Still, I’d rather be kissing you,” she said with a big smile at Larissa. Larissa just laughed at her, and air kissed her back. “Julian, if you can get my bow apart with your teeth, you can do whatever you want to my tits.”

Julian made quick work of that. Then he spent a minute licking her tits, all around her nipples, only focusing on them at the end. Maria had a dreamy look on her face. Then he stopped, and she kissed him again. Everyone was still focused on them, and she looked around and said, “show time’s over, thanks for watching. Now I’m going to have a sedate private chat with my very good friend.” With that, she turned the sex part off completely, and pulled him in tight for a hug, and they spoke privately.

Larissa knew what the subject was – their threesome. Julian was going to say three things to Maria: firstly that they hoped she understood, but they really wanted Steph’s birth out of the way before their threesome, so it would take them a couple of weeks to make good on their promise, but they would. Secondly, that Maria was allowed to tie Larissa up during the threesome if she wanted, but only if Larissa had dinner with her family and Aaden first, and thirdly, that they were concerned with how much she slept around, and perhaps both her and Aaden could get checked beforehand. That last was sensitive ground, given Larissa’s own history, so Julian was being careful. And Maria gave Larissa a couple of very intense stares before ending her and Julian’s private chat with a deep kiss.

Bzzzt! Larissa’s phone buzzed for time up. She had an app where she could decide where time was up. “OK, thanks Maria. Alan, you’re next.”

Alan came over and helped Julian up, and then walked him over and sat Julian on his own lap. “I know you’re all watching”, he said, and he gave Julian a very firm kiss on the lips. “And you’ve surely figured out that the Maria and I are a setup, to help with your expectations. Julian is my best mate, and we both live here. When he first came, Larissa encouraged us to kiss, just like she kisses Fiona. At first, I was weirded out by it cause, like, who does that? But then I got used to it, and now, I like it just like he said. Of course, he’s not going to ravish my nipples tonight. Maybe Aaden’s! But it’s lovely to hold my mate in my arms, like girlfriends would, and say, Hey Julian, how’s it really going with you, mate?”

“Yeah,” Julian answered him. “My life is pretty good. I mean, look, here I am at a party, and I get to kiss the girls. I mean, not just a quick hello, but as little or much as they want, in their comfort zone. And I get to have everyone hug me, and a pretty girl’s asked me to kiss her nipples and my best mate is asking how I really am, and my fiancé is watching over me, and no doubt when we’re done tonight, she’ll send me off into space. And if enough girls ask her nicely, we might even do it in this room later. What’s not to like? Anyway, how are you, mate? You had that rough patch at work a few weeks back, is that sorted?”

That was real, and Alan dropped his voice a little, “Umm, I think so. That girl is still a problem, and I haven’t figured her out.” They talked about it, why she’d bitched him out, and whether he could chill her out, or whether Fiona should get involved. Yeah, real friends is good. Larissa kept a close eye on things, both Julian and around the room. Everyone was watching, but there was a quiet buzz of conversation going, people talking very intimately to each other, and not just the couples.

Bzzt! Time for Julian to move on. And outside his comfort zone this time. “Izzy, your turn.”

Izzy stood up and helped Julian up from Alan’s lap, and then sat him down in her lap, Noah next to her. She kissed Julian deeply, and made out with him for a while. When she stopped, she asked Noah to take her bra off, and then she made out with Noah briefly. Then she asked Julian to love her nipples for a while, and he did while she kissed Noah. Yeah, she liked that. Then she got him to stop, and she just ran her hands over his chest while the three of them talked about him doing that, and what it felt like. Then they turned him around so his back was to them both, and Noah knelt behind him, and they both massaged him, talking to him about their relationship. Larissa smiled to herself. This was starting to work how she hoped; Julian was good at getting people to open up, and a tied up guy in your arms ... hard to resist.

While they were doing that, Larissa announced that it was Noah’s turn now. Noah just looked at her and smiled, and they kept doing what they were doing. Though Larissa noted that they were now talking about Noah’s difficult relationship with his father, to Izzy’s surprise. Yeah. Suddenly Izzy and Noah were kissing and hugging on Julian’s chest, and he was kissing both of their heads. Larissa let them go, and then finally bzzzt, time up. Noah looked up and kissed Julian tenderly in thanks, and Izzy did again.

Ruby was next. She kissed Julian gently, and said how much she thought of him. Yeah, he rescued her, just crushed Taman. Then he healed her at the café. But now, here he was, at it again. Yeah, I love you guys lots, and you keep blowing my mind. She shot a glance at Chelsea, and said, “I didn’t know this was going to happen, but since it is ... while my toys can make me come, I’m really missing being with a guy, but I’m not ready to date yet. My sisters know, and we’re working on it, sorting me out. I just want to feel desired by a guy for a little while. Is it Ok if I do my best to turn you on? I know we won’t do it, I’ve got my toys, and you have Larissa.

Julian nodded, and smiled at her. “I’m here for whatever you want. Even if you turn me on so much I lose control, I still can’t do anything.”

Ruby went for it. Yeah, she had the moves, no doubt about it, and Julian was panting, tenting out his jocks in no time. She made out with him, she kissed his chest, she ran her hands up and down the inside of legs, right up to his jocks, she made out with his nipples, she popped her bra off and let him love her nipples, and she got him to kiss her butt, since she had a nice tight thong on. Finally, she licked Julian’s belly, and bang! He came in his jocks. Larissa was impressed, and thrilled. What a ride for Julian. Ruby looked up at her with an appreciative smile, and then looked at Chelsea, and laughed ruefully at the expression on her face. But she still kissed Julian deeply in thanks.

Larissa looked around from her seat beside Maria, and laughed at everyone’s expressions, and said, “I didn’t expect that to happen, but Ruby had her own personal reasons for wanting that to happen, and yeah, she’s sexy. You can ask her privately to explain, and she can tell you as much or as little as she wants. Guys, I think Ruby would appreciate it if you give her a good make out session tonight, if your girl’s Ok with it. It won’t go any further than that. If anyone’s weirded out by it, I can go and change Julian’s jocks for dry ones, but I’m happy to leave him in those ones. None of you are touching them anyway.” Nah, no one needed him to change. Julian could suffer in the wet ones. “Ok, can you cheer for Julian for letting Ruby have her way with him.” Everyone did make appreciative noises. Given some context, yeah, they understood.

Bzzt. “Ok, Sarah.” Maria’s gay friend, who’d been making eyes at Julian a bit lately. This would be interesting. Ruby gave Julian one last deep kiss. “Thank you, that was wonderful for me. I love you, you’re my hero.” And then Sarah helped Julian up.

Sarah helped Lucy up, and then sat Julian down, cross-legged, on the cushion they’d been sitting on. Then they both sat on his legs, one each, and rested against his chest, kissing each other, while Julian looked on. Larissa laughed. That position was going to test out his core strength for sure. Julian was kissing both of them on the head. Then Sarah looked up and gave Julian a firm kiss. She put one arm around Julian and the other around Lucy, and Lucy did the same, their heads together. Then they started talking, so no one else could hear. Later, Julian told her that they talked about their relationship, and Lucy’s fear of men in general, and her specific fear of a man taking Sarah away from her. Yeah, Lucy explained, her fear and hate of men came from early in high school when she was coming to terms with being gay, and both her father, brothers and the boys around her had made things very difficult. Yeah, Julian was a totally different kind of person. Well, said Sarah, you’ll probably never have an opportunity like this again, here you’ve got a lovely guy, deep in a relationship with fantastic girl we love, and he’s tied up, and we’re here with our arms around each other. If ever you wanted to try kissing a guy, why not now? Lucy looked at her, thinking about it. Well, how about a three-way kiss? We’ll all kiss each other at the same time. Yeah, Lucy agreed to try that.

Larissa watched with interest as the three of them suddenly had a three-way kiss. For a while, Lucy was tentative, but then she got right into it, and Sarah pulled back, leaving Lucy in a full make session with Julian. While she was doing that, Sarah reached down and pulled Lucy’s undies aside, and went to town on her pussy. Only a couple of minutes, and Lucy was climbing over Julian while she humped on Sarah’s hand, and then she had a massive orgasm. Coming down, she melted into Julian, and they had a three-way kiss again.

Sarah turned to everyone. “I know this is getting pretty hot tonight and I know Maria told me that wasn’t really the purpose. But what just happened was really healing for Lucy. Lucy, you want to tell them about it?”

She did, and she turned around, leaning back against Julian, holding both hands with Sarah, and told them about the abuse she’d gotten, and how she hated men, and then what she’d learnt about the last time from Julian, and yeah he was actually pretty nice, and maybe she needed to reevaluate. And now, yeah, she had. Yeah, some men are bastards, but not all. It’s not boys vs girls, and some girls are bitches too, and I’ll be more friendly to the guys now. “In fact, I’ll even kiss with you guys tonight, if it’s ok with you. And I just want to say how lucky we are that Julian will let us do this with him, and that Larissa set it up. Awesome. And I’m so glad you’re all here, smiling at me.” Then they went to back to kissing Julian, and each other, just nuzzling with each other.

Bzzt. That was time up for both of them. Larissa herself went over to Julian and pulled him up. She untied his ties, and he stretched his shoulders. “Julian sometimes has me tied up like this, and after a while it gets tiresome for your shoulders. We’ll give him opportunities to stretch his shoulders more now. In the meantime, I think it would be good for you all get up, stretch, and sit down somewhere else. I’ll try and chill things down a little now.”

After a couple of minutes, she bound Julian’s arms again. Then she asked him, with a grin in her voice, “Do you need to pee yet?” She almost laughed out loud as the bell went off inside Julian’s head, and he realised: payback is coming. Not quite yet, she could see. Then she held him while Maria gave him a big drink of water. Yeah, he smiled at her, he knew.

She looked around, and noted that everyone had moved, and were watching with interest. Sweet, Ruby was now sitting in Noah’s lap, holding hands with Izzy, and Noah was gently playing with Ruby’s tits. Maria was sitting in Aadens lap, with his hands all over her, both looking very happy. And Fiona had Gail in her lap, hugging her tight.

“OK, Liam, you’re next.”

Liam stood up and guided Julian over to Chelsea, and then sat down, sitting Julian on his lap, and holding Chelsea tight. He kissed Julian firmly on the lips. “If you told me before tonight that I’d do that, I’d have said you were insane. But: you’re right, I can see. And what you did for Ruby? Chelsea and I have been really concerned for her. She’s definitely mending from that bastard, and thanks for facing him down – she told us all about it. And I think what you let her do just now really helped.”

“Yeah”, Chelsea said, “it did. So good that you let her do that. Ruby was worried that I’d think badly of her, but I’m not going to think badly of her because she’s good at sex or likes it. I do.” She shared a smile with Liam. “So thanks,” and she kissed him passionately.

Liam asked about Taekwondo, and so they talked about that for a while, and realised that they’d been at the same tournaments together and knew some of the same instructors. Then they talked about the philosophy of martial arts, and how it affected relationships, and how that factored into Liam and Chelsea’s relationship, and what it might mean for Ruby, and how to build Ruby up the best and soon, the three of them were huddled closely, with Chelsea alternating kissing them both when she agreed with what they said, or they did, and Liam kissed Julian the same. Larissa watched it with a smile, while she talked to Gail, checking she was OK, since she was next. With her past, this was a pretty big deal. She took a deep breath, and said, yeah, she was ready.

Bzzt, and time was up for both Chelsea and Liam. Yeah, good friends now, she could see. “OK, Gail, your turn.” Gail helped Julian up, and then set him down on a lounge. She sat in his lap, kissed him firmly, and then cried into his shoulder. Julian went to say something, and she just put her finger on his lips. When she left it there, he started licking it, and sucking on it.

Larissa looked around – all good. Ruby was making out passionately with Noah, and Izzy was hugging her while she did it. Maria was humping Aaden; they’d be doing it soon if they weren’t careful. She went and sat down with them, holding them both, and Maria looked up at her and nodded. Yeah, time to back off. Later ... Maria stopped and just held Larissa’s hand.

Gail suddenly roused and sat up. She let Julian suck her finger in, and without really thinking, she pushed another in, and started pushing on Julian’s mouth. Fucking his mouth with her fingers, really, kind of in a trance. She put her other hand on his face, really dominating him. Suddenly, she came to her senses, and looked at Larissa, embarrassed, and pulled her hands off Julian’s face. Then Julian spoke to her, and Larissa could guess what he was saying: don’t stop if you like it. Gail kissed him for a while, and then gently put her finger back in his mouth, and Julian loved her finger. Yeah, that was really doing it for her.

Bzzt, time and Larissa went over and kissed Gail gently. “Thank for loving my man,” she said quietly to her. Then she helped Julian up, and untied him again, so he could stretch. “Same deal, everyone, up, stretch, move around and sit down somewhere different.” They did, and while they were doing that, Maria came with a drink of water for Julian. He sculled it down, like a good boy, and then she asked, “Ready to pee yet?” Still, no. Woo, he really didn’t want to. OK. “How are you feeling?”