Chapter 10: The Miracle of Family

She didn’t think about it when she said goodbye to everyone, still naked. Or when she asked Tim to get her boss upstairs so she could give him a thank you kiss and blow his mind while she was at it. And when Julian put the dress on her again, and tied her up again, and they walked back to the cars. Or when she was saying hello to anyone who looked at her while they were doing that. Or even when she posed for a few selfies with a laugh in her voice. Nor when she told Julian that the whole night was perfect, her dream, and they went straight to bed for round two and then slept in each other’s arms.

But when she woke up ... it was all she could think about: there was a sex tape of her out in the wild. Yeah, it might have felt good to say “who the hell cared” back at the time. But the cold hard fact that she featured in a hard-core porn episode of her own ... she kind of did care, really. Shit. But it was Julian’s tape as much as it was hers. So she roused him and freaked out to him. She did manage not to have a huge hissy fit, so that was something.

Julian, he wasn’t so concerned. Larissa had more to lose than he did – it’s always about the woman, and that’s for a good reason, he said, having a good look at her yet again. And did she have anyone in her family she worried about? No. Her mum knew. In the super-slim chance her brother found out ... he’d be a fan. Her friends? Most of them already knew and would also be fans. Anyone else? Nah. What about job prospects ... well, the night already got her the job of her dreams. Anyway, no one would remember after next week, what girl didn’t have a sex tape these days? Well, not quite, but she got Julian’s point. Next week there’d be another party, another tape ... life would keep rolling on. They did nothing illegal, and anybody passing it on was doing something illegal.

From Julian’s point of view ... in the exceedingly rare chance some future employer of a biology science major who decided to freak out about some practical biology that was filmed in low light conditions ... that was a very distant prospect indeed. His friends: they were already fans of Larissa, but he allowed that they might become even more fans of her. And his parents already knew, and he kind of figured that they weren’t going to freak out. But that did leave one possible problem for them to deal with: Jaiden and Steph might conceivably find out about it. Soon, if they were going to – there were some vaguely intersecting social circles there. Did that matter? Well, Julian said, “I guess we’ll have to tell them about it tomorrow morning. Better to find out from us than somewhere else, really. Will they be that surprised?” Larissa wasn’t quite sure what he meant but didn’t want to ask.

Larissa sighed. This ‘owning it’ business wasn’t quite as simple as it sounded. But the whole sex-tape thing wasn’t as bad as she had worried either. Maybe she could get a copy for herself for later, like forty years later, so they could look back on it and laugh. She got Michelle’s number from Sal, and asked her to look into it for her – how widespread was it, and could she get a copy? Michelle said she’d let her know if she found out anything.

Since they didn’t get to a party on Friday night, they agreed to pop into one before going to Julian’s family. A quick hello to many friends, and they found out news from the hash cookie party ... the police had decided to just give the culprit a warning. Opinions were mixed, but the guilty party looked sufficiently contrite for most people. Whatever ... Larissa’s part was done. A few friends ragged them gently about doing a repeat of the episode on the lawn where everyone could see, but no one mentioned the video: apparently it wasn’t that widely distributed.

They got to Julian’s family home a bit before ten that night. Family breakfast was at nine Sunday morning. The two siblings not living at home were welcome to turn up any time before that, but James and Sophie really liked it if they arrived the evening before, and there was always a made bed and lots of love and attention waiting for them if they did, and they’d promised to make it on Saturday night as often as possible. Larissa liked this; she tried to imagine her family doing this ... no way in hell. Of course, now with her mum, it was ... possible?

“Well, this will be interesting,” Larissa said to herself as they walked through the front door.

“Hello!” Julian called out as they came through the door. By the time they had hung their jackets up – winter was definitely on the way now – James and Sophie were right there to welcome them. Both gave her a warm hug and a real kiss to welcome her, and Sophie held onto her for longer. She didn’t say anything, but clearly there was a message there, and the kisses were new too. Larissa smiled at them and glanced around the room. She saw that Steph was sitting on the lounge by herself with Nala’s head on her lap watching them with a surprised look on her face. And glum too?

Larissa walked over to her and sat beside her. She gently hugged Steph and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Hi, how are you? I’ve never seen you without Xander physically attached to you!”

“Oh, I’m OK, I guess. He’s gone out to a bucks’-night party with Jaiden and left me here with Mum and Dad.”

“Oh, sounds wild! I mean, you with your mum and dad, of course!” But honestly, that was a flat answer from Steph, who was usually more upbeat. Larissa didn’t let go of her and shifted herself around to settle in with her arms around Steph. This might be a good opportunity for quality time with Steph.

Steph smiled at her. “Yeah, wild! They’ve been getting everything ready while I sit here by myself, no energy to help. But the bucks’ night won’t be wild – it’s one of the church guys, so it’ll be pretty subdued – no wild naked chicks or anything. We don’t do stuff like that in our family.” The way she was looking at Larissa there ... that was intended as a bit of a message, actually. Larissa laughed to herself. “No wild naked chicks who aren’t family,” she thought to herself. She glanced up at Sophie who’d come over to join them and could see that she was managing not to laugh out loud.

Sophie said, “Hey James, take Julian and go and play Xbox or something. We’re going to have a girls’ night right here!”

Larissa smiled at her. Clearly, they’d been thinking alike. She kissed Steph gently again. “Yeah, we’re going to cheer you up. It’s all about you tonight. How are you feeling overall?” She looked at Steph and figured she was about five months along.

“I can’t complain. The nausea has all gone, and I’m not having problems lying down or moving around yet, but I think that will be soon. But my ankles are swelling up a little, and my legs and back are starting to get tight and a bit sore. I just generally feel odd. And sitting here by myself ... that’s all I’ve thought about tonight.”

Larissa nodded. “I had two friends who had babies in school, and they called this the horny phase. They said that it was more that they only felt good after sex. But now that I’m here, we’ll find you all sorts of other stupid stuff to think about and you’ll feel better!”

Sophie laughed. “Sex worked for me – you should always feel good after that, but there’s so much going on you never really feel right. Steph, how about we give you a massage?”

Steph smiled at them, clearly happy about that idea. “Oh, yes, that does sound nice. Thank you!”

But Larissa noticed she didn’t say anything about the sex bit; all her friends would’ve said something smart or funny. She decided to go back to that subject later. “Well, Sophie, do you want to get us oil or lotion or something? And Steph, can I help get your pants off?”

Steph looked at her in surprise. “Here? But the boys will see my undies!”

“Well, we can move if you want, but you look comfortable here. And it’s just your dad and brother, they won’t care.”

Steph sighed. “You’re probably right. It’s not like they’ll want to look at me.”

“Oh, no,” Larissa said, “You’re pregnant, and that’s beautiful. All the guys think so to. If you and I sat here in our underwear, they’d hardly notice me at all. Or if we did that while sitting in a bar, every guy would look at you and their tongues would be hanging out.”

“I wish I felt that way!”

“Yeah, that’s what my pregnant friends said. All the guys desperate to sleep with them, cause pregnant chicks are so sexy, and all they wanted to do most of the time was actually sleep. And it was the one time they could screw as much as they wanted without worrying about getting pregnant, since they already were. It’s hard to be pregnant at school, and of course the fathers were rat bags about it. Anyway, you look great. I think so. So let’s get your pants off and you ready.”

Steph sighed and said, “OK, you talked me into it.”

She went to stand up, but Larissa said, “Nah, I’ll do it.” So Larissa moved Nala off her, and Steph just lifted her butt, and Larissa eased her pants off her. Her underwear was fine – plain black, and fairly supportive.

Sophie came back with a towel, and they arranged things so they could sit either side of her legs and massage a foot each.

Steph sighed with pleasure once they started. “Oh, this is so good. I love this, thank you both.” Larissa had done this for her friends a fair bit back in school, and she concentrated on doing it as well as she could.

After a few minutes, Steph said, “Larissa, this is lovely. Thank you so much. It’s kind of not what I expected from you.”

“Oh? What did you expect?”

“Well, you’re such a sexy party chick. I kind of imagine you throwing the drinks back and having fun dancing on a Saturday night, not sitting down with your boyfriend’s pregnant sister massaging her feet.”

“Yeah, I do like parties a bit, and dancing, sure, and I don’t mind people looking at me.” She looked down at her top, which was a pretty sexy halter top. “Like this, I guess, for the party we were at tonight. But that’s only a small part of who I am. Julian wouldn’t want me otherwise. I love animals and I’m going to dedicate my working life to being a rescue vet, I volunteer at a women’s refuge, I have a strong set of principles, I love having a good set of friends around me, and I want to have a great relationship with Julian’s family.” Steph smiled at her. “And after bad experiences last year, I decided earlier this year that I’m never drinking alcohol again, and now I just don’t feel the need. So this is great. There’s nothing I’d rather do on a Saturday night than massage a pregnant friend’s legs because she needs some love. I’d do it anyway, but I do want to be really good friends with the two of you. I mean, Julian and I ... I’m not going away. He’s my one for life.”

“Thank you so much,” Sophie said. “I always worried that my boys would get ditzy party girls who would draw them away from me, so I was determined when you turned up at our picnic that I’d get to know you before you got too deep into Julian, so I could try and stop that from happening somehow. And you did look a bit like that kind of girl. But then I saw I was too late, and he was all yours already. So I watched you, and I realised that you weren’t what I worried about – you were trying to be friends with us. So I figured I’d have to make the most of it. But you’re easy, and the more we get to know you, the more we like you. So friends, yeah, we already are.”

“Yeah, Mum,” Steph said, “and I think I like you too, Larissa. But I don’t think the guys in our family are so happy. Sorry.”

Larissa shrugged. “I’ve noticed. I am who I am, and I’m pretty out there, and there’s reasons. I figure it will take time, but if your mum is on board, it’ll work out. Though I had a couple of good talks with your dad this week, and we’re good now.”

“Yeah, Steph, Dad and I have talked about Larissa a lot, no surprise, and he’s really come around. He’s seen quite a bit of Larissa now, and he really likes what he’s seen.”

It was all Larissa could do not to laugh out loud at that one. And she appreciated that there were several levels of message there.

Sophie continued. “You’ll see that showing now. I mean, you noticed at the door, right?”

“Yeah, I did, actually. I don’t get kisses like that from you guys.”

“You want them?”

Steph looked at her mum. “Yeah, I think I would like that.” Then she added quietly, “A lot.”

Sophie just sat there, so Larissa poked her, and nodded towards Steph’s face. Sophie figured it out and hopped up and gave Steph a hug and a proper kiss. “Like that? Dad would love to do that with you. We just didn’t think you wanted to.”

“Well, I didn’t, when I was a teenager. But now? I’ve grown up. Thanks, that was nice.”

“I’m up for that too, if you want. I love kissing people,” Larissa told Steph. And she was, so Larissa jumped up and gave her one too.

While she was doing that, she heard one of the guys in the kitchen. When she stood up, Steph said to her, “Larissa, you promised I wouldn’t be the only one in underwear if the boys saw us.” Well, not quite, but that was fine, so Larissa kicked her shoes off, shimmied her jeans down, threw them over to her bag, and then sat back down to keep working on Steph’s leg.

“Umm,” said Steph. “I suppose I should have realised, but you’re not wearing that much underwear there. You don’t have to show that much butt for me.”

Sophie laughed. “You know, I’m pretty sure Dad won’t mind if he sees that, and I’ll benefit from it later. And I don’t think Larissa will mind. Or Julian.”

Larissa shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t mind. And you’re right about Julian. Steph, if you wriggle forward a bit, we can move up your legs, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind at all.” Steph wriggled a bit.

After a few minutes of silence, with Steph obviously enjoying the attention, Larissa said, “Your legs are in pretty good condition actually. What are you doing to stay fit?”

“Well, I walk a lot. I work on my feet all day, helping old people find their way around the hospital, cause it’s a maze. So I’ve generally been doing 30,000 steps a day, but that’s starting to become difficult. I was talking to my boss this week, and they’re going to move me to an office job. I want to stay fit, so I don’t want to stop doing my current job until I have to.”

“Want to do some yoga? We could do it tomorrow morning before breakfast, if you’re awake.”

“Well, it sounds lovely, but I don’t have any good clothes for that with me.”

“Oh, no, us girls always do it either in our undies, or naked. So just do that, and we’ll do it in the morning. You too, Sophie.”

She realised they were both looking at her in surprise. She laughed. “Well, not naked, OK. Our little secret, huh? But in our undies, we can do that. All of us.”

Sophie looked doubtful. “Well, I have to do breakfast.”

“Oh no, I’ll get Julian to do breakfast. You can do yoga with us.”

Now Steph was really surprised. “Julian would do that? And we’d be able to eat it?”

“Sure, he does OK at our place. I’m not having a boyfriend who can’t cook. And I if ask him to do that for you, of course he’ll do it, no questions.”

She could see they were both not sure, but it just felt right. “So, seven thirty tomorrow, on the floor in here. I’ll set us up. We’ll just tell the boys to stay down the other end of the house.”

Steph was sceptical. “When Jaiden hears you’re here in your undies, there’s no way he won’t come gawk at us.”

Larissa shrugged. “Well, I can let him have a good look tonight, if that’s a problem. Or does he need work on being more respectful?”

Sophie laughed. “I should have predicted you’d say that. But I think he’s pretty respectful. I mean, I certainly taught him to be and expect him to be. But he is a teenage boy.”

Steph was looking at her weirdly. “You’d really let him have a good look at you? Why?”

Larissa wondered what to say. Perhaps this was the right opportunity? “The answer to that question is a little involved. But I do kind of need to tell you a bit more about me if we’re going to be family. It’s pretty intimate and private, though, so if I do tell you, I’m trusting you a lot. Yes?”

Sophie knew at least some of it, but she was nodding. Steph was clearly intrigued. “Yes please.”

“OK, well, before I start, let’s take your t-shirt off, and roll you over, and undo your bra, and your mum and I will work on your back.”

Steph had to be pretty distracted by what Larissa said, because she did that without any hesitation. Larissa sat up on Steph’s legs, pulled her panties down and worked on her lower back, while Sophie knelt next to the lounge and worked on her shoulders. Before she started, Sophie gave Larissa a thumbs-up signal and blew her a kiss. Clearly, she was happy with where this was going.

“Yeah, so, Steph, this isn’t really a nice story. And I’m only giving you a quick summary too. But don’t be too upset, it has a very happy ending. I mean, my impression is that nothing like this has happened in your immediate family, though you’ll surely have relatives like this. It starts with my family. It was very toxic. Dad was very abusive to Mum, they were both abusive to me, and they were both problem drinkers. Which is why I can’t deal with alcohol. Your mum has met my mum, my mom’s getting over her past now, and we’re working on our relationship, but you’ll never meet my dad, I’ll never have anything to do with him again.”

While she worked on Steph, she told them both about some of the physical violence, and a little of what her mum endured. Then she told them about the cousins, and then getting called a slut when she got home from being raped, and having her holes inspected continually. Then she told them about Ian – it wasn’t all bad – and her ultimatum and the icy silence at home after that.

“So that was all pre-Covid. Coming out of lockdown last year, I didn’t do well. I was drinking more and more, and in trouble emotionally. I was becoming what my parents, and you guys, are afraid of and getting worse. I mean, doing lots of boys, a girl, a couple, getting abused, raped again. I couldn’t get any relationships going, and it was starting to really destroy me. Julian knows everything, by the way. I trust him completely and have no secrets from him.”

“Then, I accidentally ran into a guardian angel. She plucked me up out of the off-ramp to hell and rescued me. Your mum has met her. Sal. She saved my life. Literally. I mean, I was headed to overdose or suicide for sure. She broke the pattern, stopped me from drinking, got me to build a support network around me. Then she gave me to her husband and brother, and they. Oh.” She saw the look on their faces. “Oh no, not what you think. I went to the beach with their family – Sal and Lem, and Dave her brother, and Kat his wife, and all their beautiful teenage children, and I sat on Dave and Lem’s laps, and it was life-changing, and in just half an hour, they launched me into who I am now. And then I sat there with Kat and Sal, hugging them, and we talked for ages, and we figured out what kind of guy I needed, should choose, as a life partner. And I realised that I knew that guy already, so I dated him a few times, and checked that he was everything I needed on our list, and he was perfect, so I made him mine. And Julian completed me, completed building me. Well, we’re not done yet. I’m a work in progress, we both are, but we’re both committed to it for life.”

“But something that was really important in all that process was that Sal told me to own what I am. I know what my dad did to me, and I had no control then. She said that I had to take back control of who sees my skin, and a big part of that is that I say who can see me and that I choose to let people do that. And so I do. I let me people see me, and it makes me strong. So, yeah, that’s a bit screwed up, but you have the context, and why. But it’s all of us, we’re all a bit screwed up by what the male system does to us. So screw them, take back control. Let them look, if they’re lucky, but know that it’s you in control. It’s your decision. So much of what fixed me up this year has simply been, it’s my own decision and I’ll make it, and I like sex, and finally I don’t feel ashamed of that. And letting people look at me is just a symbol of that.”

Both of them were looking at her in amazement, Steph with her neck twisted around. And the massaging had stopped, so Larissa sat down next to them and did a group hug, the three of them, and it was as lovely for them as it was for her.

Sophie said, “Wow, you trusted Julian so much to let him take control of you last night!”

Larissa laughed. The look on Steph’s face at that... “Well, let’s not talk about last night for now. Steph, we will eventually. But now isn’t the time.” She could see that Sophie realised she had slipped up there and decided to distract Steph. “But like that party, Steph, you heard about the cookies, right?” Steph nodded. “Yeah, but what you didn’t hear about was that for the whole time, I was actually in my underwear. Just a bra and panties. A little more to them than these panties, but not that much. It’s part of the whole empowerment thing, I just wear my undies, and walk around the party and hug everyone who’ll let me, and dance with them, out where everyone can see. It’s not about sex, I’m just friends with everyone, and I love the closeness from hugging them all. And if anyone hassles me – and a few have – then I just shred them out loud on the spot, and then they get kicked out of the party. The other girls love it because they feel safer now, and plenty of them do it with me now, and some of the guys. Julian too. Anyway I was doing it that night, and people started falling down, and I never had time to get my other clothes back on, so I did that whole thing in just my underwear. And it just felt so damn good to have done that. Screw them all, I own me! Well, except for Julian, who also owns me, and was just a wee bit turned on by what I did.” She laughed. “We had to have emergency sex, yeah. But yes, Julian and me, tied together for ever.”

Steph was looking at her, stunned. “Wow. I mean, wow.”

Larissa shrugged. “Yeah, well, there you go. I didn’t mean to say all that, but it just all popped out. So sorry.”

“Oh, no,” Sophie said, with tears in her eyes, “that was wonderful. I feel like I really know you now, and also I realise just how deep you are with Julian. Thanks so much for trusting us with that. Steph, Larissa is family now, right?”

“Yes, Mum. I had no idea, Larissa. I mean, it’s easy to look at you and think you’re the party chick who’ll screw anyone. That’s what Xander thinks, at least from his narrow inexperienced view, because you just hug and kiss anyone. But it’s something totally different, I can see.”

“Well, I think I have two things to say to that,” Larissa said. “The first is that I don’t care what anyone thinks but Julian, and my friends, and my mum, and Julian’s family. Julian and I were talking about this today and we know that his parents understand, but not you and Jaiden and Xander. So we did want to talk to you about this, to make sure you understand – whatever you think you see, I am totally devoted to Julian, and him to me. And I care very much what Julian thinks, to the point I can’t cope with disappointing him. But the other is, you need to teach Xander, girls like sex and that’s fine, but, also, that way too many of us get screwed over by our families and our fathers and the males we deal with, and then we get blamed for the fall out. I know those party chicks, and some are great, totally happy with their life, which is fine. Somehow, they can thread the needle I never could. But there’s others, the ones who’ll really screw anyone ... some men screwed them over first and they need deep love and compassion like I got to rescue them. Teach Xander not to be part of the system that fucks all us girls.”

“Yes, Steph,” Sophie added. “I totally agree with that. Your dad and I already knew that Larissa is totally devoted to Julian and she had our complete confidence even before I learnt this tonight. But I agree that we need to teach our men, or they’ll hurt my grandchildren. Because the system is deep and everywhere. That’s what all the protests about women’s treatment are about, right? But this isn’t political, it’s deeply personal. Your dad and I had already been talking about this for the last few weeks, because of both the protests, and Larissa, because independent of what Larissa has just told us, I could see that she had abuse her in past, and he was oblivious to that. So I want the three of us to take a project on with the men of our family and teach them three things: that we love and cherish Larissa, that it’s OK for us girls to be open and sexual and not be judged for it, and that our men aren’t going to be trapped in that system, they’re going to treat all women right. We’re going to do it together. Are you on board with that, Steph?”

“Umm, I think so. I mean yeah, but what do you mean by ‘open and sexual?’”

“Well, we should be free to wear just underwear here in this home if we want, for example, like you and Larissa now. Or let the other men of our family hear us saying that we enjoy sex with our partners. Or maybe we happen to see each other naked sometimes, like when you were kids. Or you, my wonderful and precious daughter, you shouldn’t feel there’s any reason at all why you shouldn’t breastfeed in public. It’s totally OK, a wonderful thing to do, and you should be proud to do it. You and I have some catching up to do.”

Larissa could see, through her tears, that Steph was thinking about that. “Sophie, I’m going to change my top for just a bra, so we can do that with just the three of us. Are you going to join us?”

She could see that Sophie was little bit challenged by that. She popped her top off and went over to her bag to get her bra. By the time she walked back, Sophie was back to sitting where she had been, but only in her underwear, just typical at home comfortable stuff. Larissa sat down and hugged them both. “Yeah, here we are. Nice, right?”

Steph actually smiled at her.

“Sophie, what you’ve said is just so lovely, to welcome me into the family this way. I feel so special – really, to take on a project to welcome me? Wow. But we are supposed to be looking after Steph here. Steph, how about we do your bra up, and you flip over, and we’ll do your toenails?”

Sophie stood up, “I’ll get my foot care kit.” She took a deep breath and walked away.

Larissa pulled up Steph’s panties, and went to fasten her bra. But Steph said. “No, please. It’s just so annoying. Is it OK if I just roll over and show my tits?”

“Oh, of course,” said Larissa, with a smile in her voice. “It’s your home, and you’re free and safe to do that if you want, and no one’s going to object. I like it lots and I’ll do it too.”

“Well, Xander might ... I’m not sure. But I’ll risk it.”

Steph rolled over and Larissa helped her to sit up. Larissa smiled at her, and gently leaned down and kissed her tummy. “This is such a special thing, you know, to have a new life in there. I’m so looking forward to being pregnant one day, and pleased that you can be my big sister to guide me through it when it finally happens. I hope you don’t mind I did that – I know my friends got driven nuts by all the attention their tummies got. But it’s just so cool!”

Steph grinned at her. “I know what you mean. It drives me nuts too, even though I know it’s just that people find it so exciting. But you can always do touch and kiss my tummy, I loved that. You don’t even need to ask, please just do it. And it’ll be lovely when you’re pregnant, but please don’t do it for a long time. I think that it wasn’t really the best idea for us. But lockdown, you know, and we had nothing else to do, so we decided to try for a baby, and then, nothing, and it wasn’t for lack of world record amounts of trying. Then lockdown ends, and we’re like, well good that it didn’t happen. Next month – surprise! Well, now we have to make the best of it.” Steph frowned ruefully.

Larissa kissed her on the tummy again, a big smooch, and then she popped and kissed Steph on the mouth quickly. “OK, well, let’s see what we can do to help you make the best of it.”

Sophie came back into the room with a big surprise on her face when she saw Steph. “Oh, the stupid bra is annoying,” Larissa explained, “and it’s just us. But you had to go past James and Julian, right? How did you go with that?”

“Oh, I just got two sweet smiles. I feel really good right now, really blessed. And it’s lovely to see you like that again, Steph. You remember that we used to live naked, right?” Steph had surprised look on her face, so Sophie continued, “Yeah, we hardly wore clothes at all around home until you went school, and then not much, but it got to be a problem for you with your friends when you were about six, so we started wearing clothes all the time. We had to make you put them on. Now it’s gone way too far. But you remember, yes?”

Steph was nodding, “Yeah, I kind of do. Weird, I never really thought about it. But I remember being in the bath with Julian and Jaiden even after that, right?”

Sophie nodded and smiled. “Yeah, Jaiden loved it. But he splashed water everywhere, and eventually you just didn’t all fit anymore as you grew bigger, so you graduated to using the shower.”