Emma sneezed. And then she sneezed again. And again.

“Bless you.”

“Oh. Thank you. You don’t usually say ‘bless you.’”

“I know. I don’t know why. I hope you’re not catching a cold.”

“No, I don’t think so. My head doesn’t feel snuffly or stuffed up or anything.”

“Good. I love your sneezes.”

“You do? That’s peculiar.”

“I love your sneezes because they’re yours.”

Emma laughed.

“I love your laughs, too.”

“Do you love my laughs more than my sneezes?”

I hesitated.

“It’s not like they’re my children, you know. I won’t be insulted if you pick one over the other.”

“No,” I said. “I was just thinking. They say a laugh is a lot like an orgasm.”

“They do?”

“I’ve heard that.”

“Well, give me an orgasm any day,” Emma said.

“Okay. But one more thing. They say you can’t sneeze while having an orgasm. Or maybe it’s the other way around.”

“Interesting,” Emma said. “So orgasms could be the cure for the common cold?”

“Could be,” I said. “But you do see that they’re a lot alike.”

“In what way?” Emma questioned.

“Bodily they are similar.”

“Bodily.”

“Uh huh. And sometimes stuff comes out.”

“You mean like snot?”

“Snot or cum,” I said.

“Well, give me cum any day,” Emma said.

“Okay,” I said. “I’d like to give you a lot of cum.”

“Not in my nose, please,” Emma said.

I laughed. “That’s right. Sometimes when a girl gives a guy a blowjob and he comes in her mouth it comes out her nose.”

“Yuck,” said Emma.

“Here’s something else. Picking your nose and masturbating in public are both frowned upon.”

“That’s true,” Emma said.

“And in private, would you rather be caught picking your nose or masturbating?”

Emma thought for a few seconds. “I guess it depends who’s catching me.”

“Let’s look at this another way. Would you rather watch a video of someone sneezing or someone coming?”

“What a strange question,” Emma said.

“The thing is, my hypothesis is that you look the same sneezing or coming.”

“I do?”

I nodded.

“I don’t believe that,” Emma said.

“Okay, here’s what we’ll do. I’ll take a picture of you sneezing and of you coming. Just your face. And then we’ll see if you can tell which is which.”

Emma said, “This is the silliest discussion we’ve had in ... Oh, now I get it. You just want to take a picture of me masturbating.”

“It would just be your face,” I said. I placed a kitchen chair near the wall, facing the wall. “Here, you sit backwards on this chair, and I’ll set up the camera so it’s focused on your head, and then you masturbate until you come and I’ll take the picture.”

Emma studied the chair. “I don’t know if I trust you. How do I know you won’t focus on my cunt?”

But Emma was a good sport. She sat on the chair. I set up the camera. She pretended to sneeze. She pretended to come. We compared the pictures.

“You’re right,” she said. “A pretend sneeze looks just like a pretend come.”

I smiled big.

Emma said, “And now you owe me three orgasms, one for each sneeze.”

She led me to bed.

After her first come, I said, “Bless you.”

She laughed.

Her laughing felt really good on my cock. I wondered how it would feel if she sneezed while we were fucking. I thought about saying something...

But I didn’t.