Chapter 2

For a long time, I couldn’t tell if I was fully asleep. It was a restless slumber. The kind that leaves you unsure if you had been asleep at all, or if you simply lay there with closed eyes all night long. Something that added to my confusion, was a faint whispering I began hearing towards the end.

“Elsie...?”

“Elsie, wake up, you’re late.” With a weary groan, the sound of my best friend’s voice lured me out of my dreams. “Our first classes start in an hour, and don’t forget you got your part-time job right afterwards, too. Come on, we’re waiting for you! Your uncle prepared breakfast.” Another groan left me, and I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Uncle Matt ... the memories slowly came back, and so did an unpleasant sensation in my stomach.

“I hope you had a nice evening, you deserved some quality time! You’ve been single long enough. Anyway, we’ll be waiting for you outside,” she added before she turned to leave.

My thoughts became clearer, and so did the events of the previous night.

“Ahnn!” I flinched as a dull pain echoed through my crotch, another reminder of what I had done. No matter, it wouldn’t happen again. I wouldn’t let it. With slow and methodical movements, I pushed one foot to the ground, then the other. Getting out of bed never felt so difficult ... my energy hadn’t returned at all. I didn’t even know if it was a hangover, or a result of the vigorous sex.

I was so lost in thought that I at first didn’t even notice my toes had bumped against a piece of clothing on the ground. As I leaned forward, I recognized it – a pink bundle of fabric. It was my thong from yesterday night which still lingered on the ground by my bed. I was lucky that the blanket kept me covered in Lauren’s presence. The cocktail dress was still bunched up around my waist as well, so my tenderized vagina would have been in plain view.

But then my eyes spotted another pair of underwear next to mine – a black pair of boxer shorts, and they very clearly belonged to a man. There was no doubt they belonged to my uncle. He hadn’t picked up all his clothes! As my heart began beating faster, my eyes bounced to my trash bin and I noticed just how full it was ... which meant that at the very top of the pile, a bright pink condom was visible.

The puzzle pieces clicked together, and I realized what Lauren’s remark meant – she thought that I intentionally hooked up with my own uncle! Oh God, and she even seemed happy about that development. I quickly tried to think of an excuse I could tell her, perhaps that I used the condom for my vibrator – but the condom was visibly filled with cum. There was no mistaking it. I got laid yesterday night and Uncle Matt was the only man in our apartment.

“This sucks,” I muttered to myself. It hadn’t been part of the plan. So much for brushing it under the carpet and forgetting it ever happened.

I got off the bed, grabbed some fresh clothes, and got dressed.

“Good morning,” came my uncle’s voice as soon as I left the bedroom. With a startled yelp, I turned to look towards the living room and saw both of them already seated by the dining table.

“Right, yea, good morning,” I replied. “Very good morning, sure.” My gaze lingered on him, in an attempt to figure out what he was plotting. There had to be something. There was no way he prepared this serving of food without an ulterior motive. And yet as I approached, everything seemed strangely normal. There were plates with pancakes, fresh croissants, and an assortment of condiments. “That ... actually smells nice, all right.”

I was famished.

So without delaying things any further, we simply began to eat. The room was mostly quiet. Lauren was her cheerful self and offered me a few smiles, while Uncle Matt didn’t act unusual in any way. Hell, if an outsider would observe us, we would have looked like a happy family in the midst of their morning routine. I did the only thing I could do – I took the silence for granted and kept quiet. Maybe, just maybe, it was still possible to pretend nothing ever happened.

Until Lauren broke the silence.

“So, you two ... what’s going on between you two?”

I was still in the midst of chewing my bread. It was the perfect opportunity for Uncle Matt to speak up before I could say anything.

“Ah, you already know?” he answered while I raised a brow in confusion. “Elsie suggested we keep it a secret, but you know, I always kept telling her that you are a smart girl, and that you would figure it out! You two are best friends after all, right? She would never be able to keep you in the dark, is what I told her.”

“Oh?” Lauren took his bait. I quickly swallowed my food down and nearly choked, but I wasn’t fast enough to interrupt wherever this was going.

“Yeah, yeah!” he said. “We’ve been a thing for a while now, I don’t even know how long ... sometimes it feels like it started just yesterday,” he laughed, which got a giggle out of Lauren as well – while I looked at him in barely concealed horror. “You can imagine why we had to keep it a secret, I bet!”

Lauren paused for a moment, and then smiled back at him.

“Of course, yes, totally! I mean, I don’t mind it at all. Since we’re speaking so open about things, I have a cousin who is also dating her cousin and they’re just the cutest couple. It’s slightly weird sometimes, yeah ... but I mean, they’re happy, right? I think that as long as a couple isn’t directly related by blood, like a father and daughter, then it’s ... kind of acceptable? Love can be weird. I don’t think that automatically makes it a bad thing,” she explained, after which she calmly reached for her morning coffee and took another sip. This was second nature to her, to accept family-related things and turn them into a positive.

I struggled to hide my frustration and shock. With just a few words, Uncle Matt had completely ruined my chances to brush this all off.

This situation grew from something difficult to explain, into something even harder to clarify. Initially I only had the problem that if I didn’t play along with my uncle’s advancements, then he might have tried to seduce her instead. But, now I was digging my own hole deeper and deeper by hesitating. If I were to now tell her the truth, then she would in the best case just feel terribly guilty for being the reason I slept with him. In the worst case, she would feel responsible for me being practically raped while drunk and blowing it way out of proportion. The fact that he was my uncle, just made the situation even more difficult to grasp. So if I couldn’t tell her the truth, then I had no option but to take my time and think of a different solution.

“That’s so awesome! You worry too much, Elsie, you should’ve told me earlier!” she chirped gleefully while taking another sip. She kept glancing back and forth between Uncle Matt and me, she could barely believe this new discovery. She seemed delighted about having learned of such an exciting private part of my life. It didn’t occur to her for even a moment that it was all made up just moments prior.

My headache was still throbbing, just like the unpleasant ache in my loins. I felt miserable, physically, but now even my mind was racing and struggling to keep up with everything that was going on. The regret was really starting to sink in. It had been a bad choice to get so drunk.

“Yeah,” I mumbled half-heartedly. “Awesome.” My words were coated with a thick layer of sarcasm that unfortunately only my uncle was dimly aware of. After I finished the last few bites, I took a moment to contemplate everything. My instinct urged me on to clarify what really happened, but I was such a mess that I couldn’t be sure if it would be the right choice to do.

Nonetheless, I gathered my courage and spoke up. She should know that it was a one-time thing, a single accident.

“Lauren, actually, I-”

“Yes!” she interrupted. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have brought it up now. There’s still lots of stuff you have to do before we head out. You didn’t have time to get fully dressed or anything, and then here I come just unloading all this on you. Sorry!” She bowed her head in a cute gesture. “I know you’ve been stressed lately. I didn’t mean to add to it. Sorry!” My dearest friend completely missed the point I was about to make. After such an apology however, I couldn’t just trample all over it.

“It’s okay. I guess I better start preparing then, and we could talk more about this later?”

“Yeah!” Lauren replied enthusiastically. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then shot my uncle another quick glare before turning and leaving. I would never let him ruin the friendship I have with her, and I also wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of having sex with me ever again. Even though he wore a condom, the thought that he was inside my body, was disgusting and abhorrent. I made a mental note to take a long shower later on, and really scrub each and every place his fingers touched.

My day continued from there.

I went to the university first, and spent the first half of the day studying. It was difficult, because no matter what I did, my thoughts kept on returning to the mess at home. I still managed to take plenty of notes, so I knew I could read up on the material again later on if needed.

Afterwards, I went to my part time job at the local library. There was a new shipment of books, so as soon as I showed up, I already noticed that everybody was stressed out about something. It turned out that the barcodes were incorrect for a few titles, so we had to manually write down the title and value of each book we sold. It also required making adjustments to the database all the time, so that the computer knew which books to order again for the next shipment. It was a lot of work, far more than I anticipated for something that was meant to be a relaxing side gig. The impatient and sometimes angry customers were the biggest problem, and it really took a toll on me.

When I finally returned home, I was burned out. Throughout the whole day, I nurtured a hangover, I was exhausted, and everything was stressful. I barely made it through the door before I pretty much collapsed, right onto the couch in the living room.

I could hear some noise coming from the kitchen, the clattering of utensils and cutlery. Shortly after the sounds stopped, Lauren peeked into the room and saw me lazing around. She could immediately tell something was wrong. She remained by the doorway as she looked at me.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or should I make you a drink?” she asked carefully.

“Uhhn,” I groaned as I got into a slightly more upright position. “You’re great. I uhmm ... maybe a tea? It’s been a long day,” I replied weakly. “Wow, you wouldn’t believe the nerve of some people. God, sometimes I wish I could just ... you know?”

Lauren didn’t hesitate to take care of me. It only took a few minutes before she returned with a steaming cup of fruit tea, my favorite. She also laid a pill down next to the cup, which I immediately recognized. It was a common antidepressant I was prescribed a while ago, which also helped with anxiety. They really helped me through a rough couple of weeks, and I made sure to keep some in reserve, for emergencies. It was a sweet gesture, but I wasn’t sure about taking one.

The pill really messed with my head back when I took it regularly. I would get incredibly relaxed and carefree. Depending on the dosage, I would straight up stop caring about anything anymore. Which was just the thing I needed for days like this. A negative side effect was that I would sometimes struggle to remember what I did on those days when I used the medication. As you can imagine, that was absolutely the last thing I wanted to risk while there may be a chance that my uncle might return home.

“Where’s Uncle Matt? I don’t see him around anywhere,” I asked her. I also noticed that none of his baggage was in the room anymore. Considering he proposed sleeping on the couch, it was a pleasant surprise that none of his stuff was in sight. If he was already preparing to move out, all the better. It meant I may not have to deal with him at all. There was practically no reason to hesitate swallowing the pill. I would simply have a quiet, relaxing evening together with my best friend.

“He’s gone, he said he won’t be back until later, if at all. His commute is apparently pretty long, and since our apartment is even further away than his old place, it’s going to take him a while to travel back and forth. Why, do you already miss him?” she playfully asked with a smile. “Lovey-dovey, and missing your other half?”

I laughed, considering how it couldn’t be further from the truth. I couldn’t wait to get permanently rid of him.

“I’ll survive I think,” I happily told her. This meant I didn’t have to worry about him sneaking around the apartment, and that I could actually use this chance to relax. With that in mind, I reached for the medicine and took a final look at it. The small pill tablet was broken in half for a better dosage, and only the first part of the inscription on its surface was still visible, “Xan-”.

In anticipation of getting to relax, I popped the pill into my mouth and swallowed it right down. Then I enjoyed my tea, and pulled Lauren onto the couch with me to watch a movie together.

It’s hard to describe what it feels like when anxiety medicine begins to work, you are barely aware of the effects until a few days later when they fade, since after the first day you still have maybe half of the medication still remaining in your body. So those first one or two days are mostly relaxing as heck. Anyway, at first you begin to notice your muscles relaxing, you get less tense in the neck, the shoulders, and then your entire body just begins to feel at ease. You don’t particularly notice it, but you also cease to overthink everything. Your anxiety melts away, the stress vanishes, and you feel yourself just living in the moment.

It’s somewhat similar to being intoxicated, but without the hangover. It would still leave me pretty vulnerable, but considering Uncle Matt was already in the midst of leaving and even removed his stuff from the apartment ... I couldn’t be any more at ease.

Well, actually I could be more at ease, and I was about to be.

Most of the remaining evening was spent right there in front of the TV, snugly cuddled up against Lauren. We had popcorn, we had our tea, and we heartily laughed at the comedy movie we watched. After that one finished, we watched a cute romance movie. I could feel myself forgetting all the worries, all the stress, it just faded into the far back of my mind and was locked away.

It wasn’t until later that we could hear the door unlocking, and my uncle stepping in.

“Hello ladies,” he announced loudly and energetically, as if he owned the apartment. He closed the door behind himself and approached us by the couch. Lauren was the first one to greet him back.

“Welcome back! You weren’t kidding about the long commute,” she said with a certain familiarity. She didn’t treat him like a stranger at all, and instead really treated him like he was a part of the household already. I couldn’t quite muster the same energy they had.

“Yeah,” I added weakly. “Welcome back,” I repeated after Lauren, though without her conviction. It had been a couple hours since I had taken the medicine, and I could tell that my usual wit and sarcasm was just ... gone. There was no fight in me, not anymore. I was completely content with doing the bare minimum. It didn’t even cross my mind to pick a fight with him, or inquire about why he was back here if he was in the process of moving out.

“Oh?” he stopped just a few feet away. He froze in surprise. After the catty attitude I had given him the last time we saw each other, in the morning, he must have expected an angry follow-up instead of an actual greeting. “In a good mood today, I see. Must have been that time of the month yesterday, huh?” he teased.

His remark barely registered for me, and most of my attention still lingered on the movie. My uncle left only briefly, to grab a cold beer from the kitchen, before he joined us again in the living room. He squeezed himself between Lauren and myself, and then extended his arms to pull both of us closer. She didn’t think much of it, I could tell. As for myself, it didn’t particularly bother me either, not in the state I was in. I was practically zoned out.

My memories of what happened after that were hazy at best. The entire evening was just a ... blur.

The medicine was keeping me completely at ease, even in moments when I knew I should’ve put my foot down and lash out at him.

The situation didn’t escalate until a certain scene happened in the movie we watched. The protagonist had finally won over his love interest. There was a final scene that showed them happily ever after, with two children of their own. It caused Lauren to squeal in delight.

Uncle Matt took notice, and looked back at her. She explained herself right away.

“I think that’s just too adorable! It’s great. I really love that stuff. You know, when you have the happy ending and then see the characters starting a family together. It’s really special, you know? I mean ... I don’t sound crazy, do I?”

He hesitated for a moment, and then laughed.

“Not at all. Did Elsie mention my previous marriages?” he asked with a growing smirk.

The two of them seemed to have forgotten that I was still sitting there, on the very same couch.

“Yeah! She said it didn’t work out? But how is that related-”

“I always wanted kids, but they didn’t. It’s one of those things which can become a deal breaker for some people. Some want kids, others don’t, and you can’t change someone’s mind if that’s how they want to live their life.” As he explained his side of things, Lauren nodded along. “So I totally agree with you, big families are a nice thing. But, not every woman wants to stay at home and raise kids.”

He remembered my outburst from a day ago, and just how terribly afraid I had been of the thought the condom might have ruptured.

“So...” Lauren began bashfully. “So ... are you two...?” She glanced at my uncle, and then back at me. “You know, are you two planning to ... have a kid, then? I hope it’s not too personal to ask something like that. Oh no, I am sure it’s way too personal. Forget I asked, actually, I’m sorry!” she mumbled.

He paused, and then chuckled once more as if to try and lighten the mood.

“Maybe we should, maybe we should...” he said jokingly, and he was fully expecting to get yelled at. He was certain. He could clearly remember just how desperately I had begged him to use protection. He figured that such a person would surely be horrified at the prospect of having some old fashioned intercourse for the sake of making a baby together.

But, nobody disagreed. There was no screaming, or defiance, and so he looked back at me. Instead of seeing a face of disgust, he noticed that I was barely affected. Of course he had no idea that the pill from earlier was literally designed to keep me carefree and relaxed. Which in any other situation, would have been a good thing.

But that wasn’t the case here.