Chapter 5: New Normal

August 15, 1981

We picked up Cammie at her house, then Sue at hers. Gene and Amit biked to Sue’s, since her house is close to theirs, so we got them as well. Assuming my arm was up to it, I’d take the next turn driving. My arm should be better. Once we got to UH, we met up with Janet, Lizzie, Anne, and Megan.

Now that we had some ideas for affirmative cases, we were far more focused. Angie and I taught Gene, Amit, and Sue the ropes and we all helped Anne and Megan get up to speed, too. We spent a lot of time chasing information for our own topics, skimming book after book, article after article, sometimes sharing pieces if we happened to find something that worked for everyone else. Sue and Amit had decided on something involving uniform standards for math education, but knew they might need to make it more specific.

We all knew we were ‘behind’, in a way. The ‘cool kids’ went to a summer workshop, heard lots of cases, decided on what looked like a winner, and came back with a mountain of research. The really cool kids split up, went to multiple workshops, brought home several times the information, and had their pick of pre-researched cases. We were already looking at something like that if I (and maybe Angie) went to Northwestern and if Janet and Lizzie made it to Redlands but, until then, there was nothing to do but just dig in and do the work.

August 16, 1981

We were back to a full group. Classes were just getting going, so none of us desperately needed to study. By next week, we would, and we all knew it. Mike and Sarah, Angie and Gene, Andy and Cal, and Emily and the Wonder Twins had naptimes today.

So, I took advantage of the lull. Just at the start, before anyone went and napped, I brought up an issue I’d been thinking about.

“Hey, y’all. Can we stop a bit and discuss the future of the group a bit?”

“What’s up, Steve?”

“We’re at sixteen people. At some point I hope to invite someone to join,” there was a round of snickering, “but that’s not the point. I mean, I have no one to invite just now, that way. Which is fine, for now at least. I’m going to be a bit busy this fall...” that brought more response, “but I know some pretty sharp sophomores who’d be a good fit. One in particular. The question is, how big a group do we want? Every additional person is more risk, of course, and more of a crowd down here, and more pressure on the pool house. On the other hand, I hate to leave good people out. But, on the other other hand,” I grinned, drawing yet more laughter, “anyone we invite who’s single might well invite someone else. At some point we’re just too big. And yes, I’ve talked about this with Mike and he checked with Rita. We’re on thin ice at around twenty-five members. So, we have some room, but not as much as it sounds like, given couples.”

Cammie bit her lip. “I’m newer, but my take is that we go slow and use caution in adding people. I’d say no more than four more people this semester. Which is a couple and one person, if we add a couple, so that single person can add someone. That, plus Steve’s potential invitee, would get us to twenty-one, which is OK, but about as big as we should go until we’ve been that big a group for a while.”

Connie nodded. “I’m even a little more tentative on it. I think, unless it’s a date of someone in the group, we do this by secret ballot. If anyone wants to add someone who’s not a date, they tell Rita. We all get to drop a slip with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in a bag. Rita counts. If there are more than one quarter no’s, we don’t add them, no matter who. If it’s enough yesses then we disclose the name and vote again. Second vote is yes, no, maybe. Two no’s and they’re out. A quarter maybe’s and they’re out. A maybe is an invitation to find out more about the person. Anyone who submits a maybe can submit questions to Rita. Rita forwards them to the person who’s making the nomination; answers get presented at the next group.”

I laughed. “You’ve been thinking, have you?”

She smiled. “Yeah. I love everyone here. Don’t get me wrong. And I was happy when each of you joined. But, at some point, we’ll be victims of our own success, and it’d be better to have control over the situation.”

“Makes sense to me. We should write those up and make them rules. Seventy-five percent vote to make a new rule, but I think they’d pass.”

There were many heads nodding. Connie smiled. “Thanks. I’ll work with Angie, and Mike and Sarah.”

“Just to let you know, I’m going to put any proposals for additional people on hold until the rules are in place.”

Sarah waved her hand. “Connie’s comment gave me an idea. I think we should consider dates right away. That’s how it’s always been, and I think it’s right. But ... I think anyone who’s just new, no connection dating-wise, even if it’s a close friend, we should consider only after a waiting period. Let’s say I want to invite someone. If I say I want to invite someone, the clock starts today. We decide if we’re going to proceed at all. If we are, everyone has a month to propose people, either openly or privately via Rita. Rita totals up the requests, we decide how many we’ll take, people can withdraw their nomination. If there are more nominations than positions, then we consider the rest all at once. We can waive the waiting period on a unanimous vote, though. We might well do that if the group gets smaller for some reason.”

“Interesting. I like it. It prevents a race where you feel like you have to jump in first.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was going for.”

Connie nodded. “I’m on board.”

Everyone else voiced approval as well.

“I think we should get these written up and approved. I won’t propose anyone right now. I wasn’t sure if I would, anyway.”

Angie had her nap a while later. I’m pretty sure it was a good one.

9:30pm

Ang snuggled in just a bit. Yes, in her fuzzy pink PJ’s. Behaving.

“Sue and Amit? That’s who you were thinking of, right? Mike and Sarah and I have the rules almost written.”

I nodded. “Those were my first thoughts, yeah. They’d fit in well. But, at the same time, we’re risking getting too big. That might mean people getting annoyed at the wait between naps, someone talking, people not getting along. Whatever.”

“My prediction is that someone, likely more than one person, will drop out this year. I don’t know who, but someone will.”

She nodded. “I see that. I also see you inviting someone.”

I laughed. “Probably. Right now, I don’t even have a date to Homecoming. I need to get on that.”

“Sue would go.”

“Yeah. And I like her. But I’m not feeling a spark yet.”

“You didn’t feel a spark with Nancy until she declared her interest.”

I bit my lip a bit, thinking. “Ok, fair, but also wrong.”

“Huh?”

“Nancy joined when I was with Candice. After that, I wasn’t in the right place until she declared her interest. Which is why she did it when she did.”

“True.”

“The bigger thing is, there’s no flirting. At least, if she’s flirting with me, I’m not catching it.”

“No, you’re right. Maybe she’s waiting for you to make the first move.”

“Which I suck at. Working on it, but I might not change that fast.”

Angie nodded. “You’re not going stag. Someone will pounce on you.”

“And you know this because...?”

“Because I know at least three girls who are interested. No, I’m not telling you.”

“Fine, be that way.”

“I’ll tell you, probably, if it gets to Labor Day and you haven’t made plans yet.”

“Probably?”

“Probably,” she smirked. “It depends. A lot could happen before that.”

“Yeah, I get that. A lot could.”

“Ok, big bro, I have to ask. How are you doing? It’s been two months. It’s not like we haven’t been busy, but...”

“Honestly? It sucks. I know I’m hiding that, but ... it’s rough, Ang. It still hurts. A lot. I don’t think I’m in the right place for someone to come along and start flirting. Or, maybe I am but I just don’t see it? You know how you feel like life is going to come along and punch you in the stomach? I’m feeling that way right now. Like, Candice and I seemed perfect. Until I found out what was lurking inside her. Then, Nancy and I felt perfect, and I think we still would be. Except, yeah, no. But I couldn’t ask her to wait three years or more and realistically I wouldn’t wait either. Not now. And if we were trying the long-distance thing and I found someone it’d feel like cheating and I don’t think I’d handle that well.”

Angie slipped in a little closer, hugging me tight. “I’m sorry, big bro. You’re right. You’re hiding it. I get why. But, don’t, not from me, OK? And ... talk to Dr. Stanton, about that and the attack, both.”

“You’re right. I’m going to ask Mom to make the next appointment a full one for me.”

“Good boy.”

I laughed.

“Hey, I promised to take care of you. And I promised Nancy both to kick your ass and those of selected girls if you mope around too long.”

“It won’t be a fun date if neither of us can sit.”

She laughed. “Fine. I’ll kick gently. And I’m going to do a little kicking now.”

“Uh oh. What next?

“You and relationships. You want every girl to be Ms. Right. Forever. Hearts and flowers and a wedding dress and 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. I’m not saying that’s done you wrong, so far, but it’s made you overcommit. You saw how I treated Dan. I loved being with him, but I always knew he was much more Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Right. You desperately wanted Candice and Nancy to be Ms. Right. And, being fair, either of them might have been, if not for things no one could control. But you didn’t know that when you let them into that place in your heart.”

“I’ve done some soul-searching. I’m fifteen, but with a fifty-six year old soul. So, there’s a lot to search.” That got her chuckling at me. “A lot is because of my first life. I’m still repairing damage from a marriage that lasted almost twice as long as this me has been alive. I’m a lot better than I was, but ... yeah, I was looking for something to cling to just as much as Candice was. Maybe more. I could do real therapy on this, if I could talk about it with a real therapist.”

“The temptation is super-strong to level with Dr. Stanton. Only...”

“It’s irrevocable. If it goes wrong, it could go really amazingly wrong.”

“Yeah.”

She stretched. “I don’t want to be a downer. And sometimes you have to give your whole heart. I just don’t want you giving too much, too soon, if it’s going to get damaged. Let things grow slowly. And, Steve, until it looks like it might really be the one, always keep telling yourself ‘she might break up with me tomorrow and, if she does, I’ll be fine’. Because, we’re in high school and the expectation is closer to, oh, ten relationships than one or two. Not all of which will include sex, of course, but, they might. Sex doesn’t mean you’re sticking together. Or should.”