Chapter 15

She snuggled into his arms.

The two rubbed and kissed and caressed to their hearts content. And they spoke of love and their future in quiet hushed voices.

Soon they slept. Happy and satisfied in each others’ arms.

Waking up in Nia’s embrace was very familiar to Tommy. Waking up in her embrace and knowing it would be this way Forever wasn’t so much. But the effect of that knowledge changed his outlook on the entire world. He lay quietly and studied her as she slept. Peaceful. Content. Comfortable. He imagined all the days, nights, and mornings to come and silently thanked God for bringing them together. He remembered how his mom would lean on his dad and fall asleep while they sat watching TV sometimes, and the same look of comfortable peaceful contentedness on her sleeping face. He wondered how Nia and his mother would have gotten along, not that he doubted they would have, but just imagining the two laughing and doing things together. He knew his dad would have been absolutely smitten with his bride. Likely giving advice frequently on how Tommy needed to always cherish her and treat her with love and respect.

He had come to terms with the loss of his parents in the years since their deaths, but this morning he missed them terribly. Not so much for their presence, but for the lost opportunities to share joy and good things. Like Nia’s entry to the family.

And ‘Family’ ... As far as ‘legal status’ went, his entire family was curled up against him right now, one leg and an arm draped over his body, her head on his shoulder.

He knew, of course, that he had Skye now as an ‘aunt-in-law’, and he would always have Shasta, Mia, and Tia. Beth and Tammy were certainly included as well.

But if there were to be kids in his and Nia’s future, there would be no Grandma’s, Grandpa’s, or other extended blood relations for them to know.

Even adding Bob and Buck to the list, his ‘extended family’ was quite small. Come to think of it, he realized that his ‘friends’ were few in number as well. Plenty of strong acquaintances, but still the list of real friends was pretty short.

A realization hit him hard. Nia was in the same boat as he was. And worse, she had just gotten married. Going through the biggest day in a girl’s life with no mother, no father, and no immediate family other than Skye. Yet she was still able to remain happy. Not lamenting her losses and deficiencies at all it seemed. He hoped that someday he could have half of her inner strength.

Staring at a picture of the Alamo on the wall, his thoughts drifted and he began to plan. Yes. A trip. Just him and Nia, and the road. They would definitely go North to Durant and secure her belongings from the storage locker. Maybe even find a relative or friend of hers to meet and see.

Then they could just toss a coin onto a map of the U.S. and let fate, or chance, choose their destination or direction.

And they would definitely have to choose to go West. He would show Nia the vast open desert areas, the sights and historical spots, and the natural wonders of the land. And East. He had to take her to the museums and landmarks East of the Mississippi as well.

He was almost wishing for an atlas to look at so he could begin to plan their grand adventures when he felt Nia’s body shake a little. He looked at her face. She had a mirthful and bemused expression, and was fighting back a giggle. At least until he asked her, “What?”

She did giggle as she moved up and kissed him. “Good morning my love.” She said softly.

“Good morning my heart. My everything.” He said back to her. Then kissed her deeply.

He felt loved. Felt needed. Felt desired. Her love flowed to him like electricity through her touch and embrace.

And it also filled him with passion and desire for her. They spent the next hour demonstrating that passion.

At 8:30 AM, they stepped from the shower. Well washed and squeaky clean.

“Breakfast.” Nia said. “Provide me sustenance my husband.”

Tommy laughed at her theatrics. “Dining out, or room service?” He asked her.

She pondered a moment, then said, “Take me out. Impress me with culinary delights.”

Dressing quickly, with not too much playful groping and fondling of one another, they headed out into the world. Just the two of them.

Walking toward the elevators, Tommy’s phone rang. The ring-tone was ‘Beth’ by KISS.

Lisa was upset. She said that Beth was just laying in bed, and refused to get up or even talk to her. She also said Beth hadn’t eaten, or drank anything, since the wedding reception. And that she hadn’t actually slept in days.

As they entered the elevator, Nia pressed the button for Lisa and Beth’s floor. “You need to stop by and see her. She needs you.” Nia said.

“I’m on my way Lisa. Couple minutes at most.” He said into the phone before ending the call.

“Are you sure baby?” He asked Nia with concern. “This is our honeymoon. It’s supposed to be all about you.”

She huffed, “It IS all about me. Even this. Beth is your friend. What hurts her, hurts you. What hurts you, hurts me. So, this IS about me.” She smiled up at him. “We have all day and night, every day and night, for the rest of our lives. Helping others, especially those we care about, won’t diminish our love or happiness at all.”

He wrapped her up in a hug, and kissed her. “I love you Nia. And part of that is due to how you care for others.”

Another little kiss. “Thank you for being wonderful.” He told her.

The next kiss was more passionate. So much so that they ignored the door chime, and the opening doors.

“EWWW ... Get a room already you two.” Nia giggled into his mouth and Tommy broke the kiss.

“We have a room, thank you very much.” He told Skye. “But we decided to go get something to eat.”

I’m going back down now. Bob’s waiting.” “I had to run back to the room for a moment.” Skye said. “Want to join us?”

“Well, maybe in a bit, after I handle some important business with Beth.” “But don’t wait for us. It may take a little while.” He added.

Skye shot a look at Nia.

Nia just smiled and said, “She’s having a really tough time Aunt Skye. Losing someone you love is hard, and we both know that. Tommy asked her to come on this trip because he wanted her to get away and have fresh scenery. But she’s not responding well.”

Nia smiled. “A little ‘Tommy time’ this morning might help her, maybe at least enough to get her up out of bed and moving. Either way, it’s worth a little of our time to try. At least she’ll know she has someone who’s willing to be there for her.”

Skye didn’t have a reply. She just stood there quietly. Tommy turned to her, and wrapped her in a big hug, then he kissed her softly. “Don’t worry. I still love you too.” He told her.

She melted into him again then stepped back and smiled. The door chime sounded. She told them as they stepped out, “Tell Beth we all love her and are thinking of her.”

Tommy nodded and Nia said, “We will.”

Nia knocked on the door and Lisa answered. They walked into the darkened room. Tommy noticed Lisa was dressed and fresh, but Beth was laying in the bed. All the curtains were drawn and only one light was on.

He motioned Nia and Lisa back into the hall. “I’m sorry Nia. This is going to be a little rough, so why don’t you and Lisa go eat with Skye and Bob? I’ll handle Beth and we’ll be down in a bit, or you come back here.”

Nia nodded, and he kissed her and handed her his debit card. Lisa stepped back in with him and grabbed her purse, kissing his cheek and hugging him before she left.

As soon as the door closed he spoke. “Don’t I even get a ‘Hello’ or a ‘Good Morning’?”

“Hello and Good Morning.” She said solemnly.

“You gonna lay around all day, or come out in the fresh air?” He asked her. “Everyone else is having breakfast ... or lunch.” She just shook her head.

Walking over to the window he flung open the curtains, letting the bright sunshine into the room. He also turned on the lights.

“Dammit Tommy.” She protested, then covered her head.

“No Beth. There’s no ‘Dammit Tommy’ to it.” He said as he pulled the covers off her head and shoulders. He was glad he decided against pulling them all off of her since it looked like she was nude.

“I mean it Tommy!” She told him loudly. “I’m not in the mood.”

“I don’t want you to ‘be in the mood’ Beth, I’m a married man now.” He said to her in jest.

She glared at him. If looks could kill, he’d have been fitted and measured for a pine box.

“What I DO want is for you to put forth just a little fucking effort to help all of us help you.” “Because THIS...” he gestured to her on the bed, “ ... is BULLSHIT.”

She just stared at him so he continued, “Beth, I love you. Only Nia has more of my heart than you do right now, or ever did.” He sat beside her. “I know exactly how you feel Beth. I promise you that I do. But I also know this isn’t the way to handle your grief. You can’t shut down like this.”

She just looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“Beth, I won’t even suggest that you tell me to go if you don’t want me here. Because I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I refuse to leave you like this and do nothing.” He used his fingers to sweep her hair off her face, then laid his palm on her cheek. “Please Beth, let me help you. HELP me help you.”

She rose up suddenly and wrapped her arms around him. He held her in his own embrace. “Tommy, I’m just so lost. I don’t know where to go, or what to do. It’s like my whole future, all my plans, all my hopes, all my dreams ... It’s like they are a big empty blank space now.”

He rubbed her back and just let her cry for a while.

“I know Bet, I was the same way. But you have to keep trudging forward. Hoping the right path will somehow appear or be revealed. You can’t just lay down and give up.”

Finally, she calmed. She twisted to sit up cross legged, beside and facing him. Not being dead, he looked, and was thankful she actually had on panties.

“My whole life was only ever halfway organized and methodical.” She told him. “Beyond work schedules, and school schedules, I just went where the winds blew me.” “Some people think that’s freedom. It wasn’t for me. It was just daily uncertainty, every hour of the day.”

She looked into his eyes. “And what made it worse was not having anyone who cared, or even questioned which direction those winds had blown me.”

She held her stare at him for a moment. Studying his face. And then, seeming to come to a decision, she asked him, “Did you ever wonder if anyone at my house knew that I was at your parents home when I slept over?” She asked him.

He nodded. “Yeah, but I guess I didn’t know enough about life at the time to really care what they actually thought. They had forfeited the right to interfere in your happiness in my mind. I just knew you were happy and safe when you were with me, so I shoved those thoughts aside and concentrated on what you wanted and needed.”

Beth snorted, “Well you didn’t have to wonder. Then, or now. Nobody cared Tommy.” “And those same ‘nobodys’ could have cared less if I was at your house or lying dead in a ravine somewhere.”

“YOU and your parents were my family for those last two years. And of course Tammy, and Ken. You guys were the only people who ever cared about me.” “But I knew it was YOU who cared the most.”

He started to disagree, “It wasn’t as bad as all that. I remember...”

She cut him off, “You remember my mom looking for me when she wanted me to do something for her or bitch at me for being such a huge disappointment. You remember my dad trying to find out where I was, but only so he could tell me to come down to the store and do the work he was too cheap to hire someone to do.”

“What you DON’T remember is either of them ever calling out to your house to see if I was there, if I had stayed there, or if they needed to be concerned that I really was lying dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“And what ‘I’ don’t EVER remember, is either of them caring that I had screamed and cried and begged them because I didn’t want to stay at my uncle’s house while they worked. Or them believing me even the tiniest bit when I finally found the courage to tell them why I didn’t want to stay with him.”

Tommy winced at the mention of that part of her life, and managed to control the boiling rage that it always brought up within him.

“Tommy, it was YOU who cared for me. About me. And who saw that I was always safe.”

He swallowed hard and replied, “I guess you’re right Beth. But it wasn’t a conscious choice or anything for me, it was just something I did because I loved you.”

She popped him on his forehead with the palm of her hand. “DUH.” “That’s what I have been trying to tell you. YOU are the only person in my life who has EVER loved me and cared for me like I needed them to. And it wasn’t even your responsibility.” “You did it all because it was your INSTINCT, and it was what you genuinely WANTED to do.”

She hugged him and kissed his cheek. “You’ve been my rock, and my lifeline, for most of my life. And now, even on your honeymoon, you’re still at it.” “But this time there’s nothing that you can do. You can’t fix this Tommy. Steve is dead. Murdered. And it’s gonna take me TIME. It might take a lot of time.”

She leaned up and kissed his chin, then hugged him so tight he thought she might be trying to crawl inside his chest. “I love you Tommy. I really do. But this isn’t something you can approach like a broken truck engine or something.”

“I know you want to make it all better, but you just can’t right now. And pushing me, or pulling me, toward that goal isn’t helping me.” “Damn Tommy ... Don’t you see? We haven’t even had his funeral yet.”

Tommy sagged. He hadn’t realized some of his actions were hurting more than they were helping.

She looked at him a moment, clearly debating. She seemed to make up her mind about something. She took in a breath and said to him, “Short of delivering that cartel bastard’s severed head to me on a silver platter, there is nothing that will lessen the pain of Steve’s murder. And even THAT would only provide me with the comfort of knowing he had been served true justice for his actions.”

Tommy just nodded. He understood what she was saying more than she could ever know. And he considered for a moment how he might grant her thinly veiled request. But he had made promises. There could be no ‘severed heads on platters’, nor would there be any summary executions. Eli Payton Riveras would be ‘brought to justice’ in the same legal and moral fashion as any other American criminal.

He spoke softly to Beth. “You’re right. I’m sorry Bet. It was thoughtless and heartless of me to not see or notice what I have been doing to you. I still mourn, and my heart breaks, when I have thoughts of Ken. And it’s been a helluva lot longer than a week since we lost him.”

She nodded. “Me too. I miss him and think about him almost every day.”

He looked into her eyes. “Please forgive me Bet? Don’t push me away. I’ll do a better job. I promise.”

She nodded. “Yes. Of course I forgive you. And I really do still need you Bubber. Please don’t stop trying to be here for me?” “But please, just be my rock until I can find my own footing again. Understand that I’m not okay, and that I won’t be okay. Not until I have time to go through whatever process. But please, be here for me. Please don’t ... get fed up and ... abandon me?”

He hugged her and just held her tightly while he replied. “Of course I’m gonna here for you. And so is Nia. As well as Lisa, and the others.” “I love you Bet. I won’t leave you. I won’t abandon you. And I’m not going away. I’ll do anything and everything I can. You only need to ask or let me know.”

He laughed sadly, “And ... I also think you already know that I’d be more than willing to actually deliver that silver platter to you. If I could.”

She caressed his cheek softly. “Yeah. I do know. And I’ll admit that a good portion of my sullen silence has been used to plot.” “I’ve planned and schemed a hundred ways of killing him myself.” “But that would crash headlong into everything that we are supposed to stand for, what Steve believed in and stood for. So I always toss those thoughts aside.” “Then I just feel guilty for having them in the first place, and that weighs down on me too.” “It’s a viscous cycle, in the midst of all this other sadness and depression.”

She hugged and kissed him again, then pulled back and sat up. “I’m going to get a shower and get dressed now. You and Nia can have some lovers time. I’m gonna make Lisa come with me for a walk around the river.” Beth rolled out of bed and went to her suitcase.

She pulled out some clothing. Then as quick as a flash, she had just stripped off her t-shirt and panties, right there in front of Tommy.

He could have said she was ‘naked as the day she was born’, but she definitely did not look like THAT when she was a baby. Not even in High School.

“BETH!” He hissed at her, as he turned and looked out the window. “That’s not funny, or nice.”

She walked over and hugged him from behind. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be funny. Old habits I guess. It never bothered you before, so I didn’t think it would bother you now.”

She grabbed her clothing and walked to the bathroom door and paused. “And for the record, you’re a damned liar.” She said.

He turned to her and asked, “Liar? About what?”

“Me stripping nude in front of you maybe wasn’t ‘appropriate’, but I happen to know for a fact that THIS...” She stepped back and struck a pose, displaying her ‘feminine assets’ and flexing her heavily toned muscles at the same time, “ ... is VERY ‘nice’. I got a couple trophies to prove it.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head in defeat, her laughter fading as she closed the bathroom door behind her. And she was correct. All her workouts had resulted in an extremely ‘nice’ body.

He stepped closer to the door and shouted through it. “Yes Beth. It is extremely nice ... and still extremely MEAN of you to flaunt it like that in front of me.”

He heard her laughing, then she hollered back, “Since when are you such a prude? I never got you excited before.” As she flushed and turned on the shower.

He sat heavily on the foot of the bed as he pondered her words. Was he really ‘affected’ by her nude body? Or was it just a change in his own way of thinking? Smiling, he quickly knew the answer.

He wasn’t any more ‘hot and bothered’ by the sight of her nakedness than he had ever been. This was his Beth. His precious, self-adopted, sister. She’d never had any effect of that nature on him. And he wasn’t ‘turned on’ or sexually excited by Beth’s nudity here today either. It was just the thoughts of his Nia, and how she might feel about the interaction if she knew.

He now believed that he SHOULD act or respond in a certain prescribed manner. His ‘outrage’ to having Beth just bare it all in front of him like that was just a product of how he now believed he SHOULD react, rather than being a legitimate and real ‘Tommy’ reaction.

The lock clicked, and the room door swung open. Nia and Lisa walked in, speaking in low voices, until they saw the now brightly lit room and Tommy sitting on the foot of the bed.

“Where’s Beth?” Lisa asked him.

He just hooked his thumb toward the bathroom as Nia sat down beside him.

“We had a really good talk. Then she stripped off buck-naked, struck one of her bikini-model poses at me, laughed at me, then locked herself in the bathroom to take a shower.”

She laughed. “Good. She needed a shower.”

Lisa tried the bathroom door and said with a twinkle in her eyes, “Nope. Didn’t lock it. She still trusts you.”

Nia was trying to stop laughing at him so she could breathe again. At least someone though all these women’s antics were funny.

Lisa asked him seriously, “Any luck with her mood?”

Tommy winced. He spoke slowly to try and get his thoughts out coherently. “Yes ... and No.” He began. “I think we all need to take a step back and pay attention to how we have been acting. Even me.”

“Beth lost someone she had strong and deep feelings for. As she reminded me, the funeral is still a good week away.” “It’s been kinda heartless of us to expect that she would, or could, just ‘shake it off’ and be back to normal in a couple days. I know I couldn’t.”

Lisa looked sad and ashamed. “So what do we do then? Just watch her plunge into a deep pit of depression and waste away?”

Tommy shook his head. “No. We love her. We support her. We just ‘be there’ when she needs a shoulder to cry on, or arms to hold her.” “And we let her have all the time she needs to come to terms with Steve’s murder and her loss.”

Lisa was crying now. She sat heavily on the side of her bed and looked at Tommy. “I’ll try, but it’s just so hard. Seeing her all torn up and not being able to do anything about it.”

Nia slipped over and hugged her as she sobbed.

“We have no choice.” Tommy said. “Only time, and seeing his killers brought to justice, will help her now.” “Until then, we just be here for her.”

Lisa wiped her eyes on the tail of the sheet of the unmade bed. Then gestured toward the bathroom. “So ... Is her being out of bed a good thing, or what?”

He smiled at her. “Well ... according to her, I need to go do ‘lover stuff’ with Nia instead of fawning over her, and YOU need to get her out of this room and walk around the town with her. A change of scenery, and new stuff to occupy her mind.”

Lisa hopped up and grabbed a makeup bag, then bent over the dresser and looked at herself in the mirror. She began fixing her makeup and hair, and babbling on about some of the places she could maybe get Beth to go with her.

Her shapely jeans clad buttocks were thrust back toward Tommy in this position. A foot in front of, and level with his face. And the sight was extremely nice. Sexy and appealing.

Nia jabbed Tommy in the ribs. He looked at her and she made a face at him. Her eyes were wide in humorous derision over his prolonged survey of Lisa’s shapely ass-ets.

She giggled when he just shrugged his shoulders and waggled his eyebrows back at her.

Lisa turned and asked innocently, “What? Did I say something wrong?”

Nia giggled, “No. But I think you’re adding fuel to the fires of Tommy’s fantasies.” Lisa frowned a puzzled look at Nia, then him.

Tommy reached out and slapped her right buttock firmly. The loud smack was accented with a jump and a little squeal from Lisa. “You shouldn’t tempt a man with all that. Especially while his wife is sitting right here beside him.”