Chapter 1: Rank

Sons of Joey Friggitello, born by women residents in the settlement, are unimportant to him. It never occurred to our dad to officially or unofficially acknowledge the settlement kids he created. Except for providing his genes, he didn’t father them and wasn’t a father to them. These casually sired offspring never attracted enough of his interest to bother to count them or participate in their naming. A stark contrast with his dominating the naming of those sons he claimed as legitimate. A score of acknowledged sons raised by their mothers in the manor house and expensively educated are sufficient for a family’s future. Am I fortunate? I exist in the upper half of the legitimate list, as number six and it wouldn’t matter if I were firstborn. Forget the settlement kids just as dad has. I’m the real unwanted bastard in this family.

“What makes you so special Chuck? Dad only pays attention to the girls. You aren’t ignored more than the rest of us. Even Lil Joe is ignored and he’s dad’s namesake. Joe would surely be dad’s favorite if dad had a favorite. He hasn’t. You expect too much from dad.”

“I’m his least favorite. There’s no doubt of that. Don’t you agree?”

“Your problem Chuck is you’re boring. You don’t know how to have fun. See ya, maybe much later. Right now I’m anxious to be somewhere else. Elsewhere with people more congenial. I’m done moping around with you brother until you cheer up a bit. A lot!”

Watching half brother Aldo, ranked son number eight, slouch away with his thumbs hooked in his pockets, didn’t exactly cheer me up and neither did his absence distress me. He isn’t very cheering or likable either. Nobody likes me or likes being around me except the silly starry-eyed girls and my mom of course. She’s overly effusive and smothering in her affections. Excuses for avoiding spending too much time with her require more invention and tact than I possess. Lying is something I wish I was better at. As for the girls, they’re easy to please and seduce but they quickly bore me after the easy won sex. Most of the time I don’t like being smothered. Maybe I could stand being smothered a little right now.

“What’s wrong Charles?”

“Too many brothers, Mom. Only the ‘FIRST FIVE’ are close and I’m below the cutoff at six. May as well be number six hundred.”

“Did you try my suggestion, creating a second ‘FIVE’ with your younger brothers closely-ranked behind you?”

“Most don’t believe there are detectable rankings among Joey’s sons. Aldo claims we’re all insignificant and equally ignored. The others readily admit the ‘FIRST FIVE’ exist but it’s because of blood ties.”

“Well of course it’s blood ties. The First Four’s moms are sisters and their sons would be cousins if they had different dads. Since they have the same dad, the First Four are full siblings in effect. Politics comes into play with Perry’s mom Gail being so special to your dad. They had to include him or be displaced by him. Perry would be dad’s favorite son because his mom is the favorite wife. I apologize I couldn’t manage to be his favorite wife. Pardon my failure in that office my son.”

“You didn’t fail, Mom. You’re much prettier in the face, have better legs, and you’re sexier in every way than Gail ever dreamed of being. Her advantage is she was first on the scene. Dad was already a goner before you had a chance with him. Nobody is at fault.”

“Well, what a nice compliment, darling. Do you really think your old mom is sexy?”

“You’re not old Mom. You’re in your prime, not even forty yet.”

“You are being devilishly charming today Charlie. You are intentionally buttering me up and intent on asking me for something. You know I could never refuse you anything. If you ask I’m yours.”

“Let’s not get confused Mom. I’m not trying to seduce you. Stop looking disappointed, that’s even weirder. Repugnant but not you, I didn’t mean to imply you’re repugnant! What I need is help, advice, suggestions on how or what I can do to improve my status.”

“Isn’t it obvious son? There are no points to be won or gained in this game. The only way to defeat the competition is to eliminate them.”

“Yes, that’s always been obvious. That’s how royalty frequently ascended to power in ancient history. Murder any relatives deemed in their way. How could I do it and get away with it?”