Chapter 3

Karen

I knew something was wrong. I sensed it all day by his unusual behavior. Robert was preoccupied and seemed a little jumpy. But, I chose to roll over and try to go to sleep; he would tell me when he was ready. And never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed what he would tell me.

“Hon,” Robert said, “you can’t go tomorrow.”

I rolled back over towards him, “What? What did you say, sweetheart?”

He wouldn’t look at me and repeated, “You can’t go tomorrow.”

We went back and forth a few times before his suffocating words spilled out. The words I will never forget.

“There’s, there’s a ... girl ... you just ... can’t.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. I was immediately terrified he was about to tell me he cheated on me, or worse, was leaving me. But, then I saw love and concern on his face. He still loved me. I could feel his love and forced myself to do something really difficult -- not react and just listen.

His first reveal was that he wrote erotic stories for a website. To say I was shocked is the understatement of the year. My husband -- an erotic writer? I shook my head in disbelief.

You know, keeping a secret, like he apparently had for so long, still burned like a lie. However, curiosity became my dominant emotion and quieted the anger that initially boiled inside me.

He handed over his weapon of secrecy -- his laptop -- and I settled back against my pillow and read some of his chapters. I am not going to lie, his sexy stories stirred me. I had no clue my mild-mannered, quiet husband would ever write something like that. His stories explicitly described sharing me, his wife, with another man, while he was with another woman.

Shocking, yet oddly arousing. I tried to hide my hardening nipples, brushing against my nightgown. He watched me intently as I read and I could sense his fear at my reaction. I did my best to keep a poker face. Speaking of poker, the last chapter I read was about a strip poker game. Never did I consider Robert had these wild thoughts in his head.

I couldn’t keep quiet any longer and my interrogation started. He tried very hard to downplay his involvement with SOL. But, I persisted until he caved and I found out about her -- the girl.

And the first thought in my head that came pouring out of my jealous mouth was, “This girl pretty?”

He nodded, “Yeah ... very.”

What saved my husband’s life in the next few moments was the obvious discomfort he felt telling me this. He didn’t want to hurt me. He sweat profusely and suffered in his deception. That counted for something.

Then it got worse. He said she had read his stories and wanted to play them out with him -- with my husband -- strip poker with my husband. MY HUSBAND!

All the dots connected in my head now. And I got the courage to ask if he was supposed to play this scene out this weekend ... while I was gone.

He confirmed my suspicion, but quickly added, “And her boyfriend; she has a boyfriend.”

What kind of twisted thing was happening? He had planned strip poker with a stranger and her boyfriend? Who was this man I had been married to for the last thirteen years?

I felt ill at the thought of what might have transpired while I was in Portland. My husband considered cheating on me. I loved him and hated him at this moment. But, there was something in his expression that settled me down a little. He looked scared. Not just scared, but terrified. He was terrified of my response.