Chapter 4

Elly and Nelimir had begun to discuss their travel plans but Nora was barely paying attention; it was the first time she had been away from Yvain since they first met. She made sure to hug the breath out of him before he left to search for his friend, making a point of ignoring the tall woman glaring at her, yet not a few minutes in she already wanted to run after him.

Was she that horrible of a mother? Nora already knew she didn’t deserve to call herself that, but she was determined on being better. She would slowly make up for her mistakes after saving her daughter. Thoughts of how their reunion would be like had kept pushing her to go faster, driving away those that spelled a darker outcome. Even knowing that Mitrel was hunting her down, she kept running heedless of the repercussions. But when she first saw Yvain it was like he carved out by force a larger space than Charlotte’s in her heart. And that space demanded to be constantly filled. It confounded her. The emotions had come too fast and too strong.

Being a goddess set her apart from her peers; it put her above them in both strength and social status. She had a perspective they would never acquire and through it she could control and change her own shortcomings as a dragon. It was through those changes that she managed to stand up to Mitrel, even if it meant betraying her race, her blood. Yet that same dragon blood running through her made itself clear when it came to Yvain in ways that no amount of introspection could change. No number of attempts to ignore it would bear fruit either. And unlike with Mitrel, she actually wanted what they had. Or maybe it was more accurate to say she needed it. Whatever connection was created when the two met was inviolable.

Though despite that connection she still had the presence of mind to understand that no matter how much she needed him, or how her racial characteristics affected her, it was impossible to feel as she did for anyone. Though impossible as it may be, she knew she couldn’t leave the man anymore since the first time she saw him doing his silly dance. It was knowledge based off of pure instinct, knowledge that came at the flip of a switch.

That’s when her roles of mother and lover violently clashed. It was as such that she had already cried two times more than she ever had since coming to this world. It was unnatural to say the least.

It was a miracle that she didn’t cry again when the new center of her life easily accepted her daughter. The two conflicting forces had been pleasantly appeased and melded together. But just when she thought that her emotional balance had arrived, underneath her contentment images of her daughter suffering at the hands of others resurfaced. It formed heavy guilt at her current bliss and needs.

Mortals really don’t have it easy, Nora thought. It was more of an observation rather than an objection. She didn’t have any memories of her life before she came to this world, but she was still a goddess. Just like the rest of her kind, she paradoxically reveled in the emotions she felt, even the negative ones.

She wondered if the regret over her past choices was similar to Yvain’s. She had seen it in his expression when he threatened Selt. While the circumstances and actors weren’t the same, Nora saw some similarities in how she treated her daughter. But Yvain was fully human, he was able to quickly see his mistake and take action to rectify it.

If he had been in her shoes, what would he have done? She couldn’t come up with an answer. It made her realize how little she knew of him or his thoughts, but the fact didn’t bother her. Eagerness to learn more about her partner, preferably in bed, was all she could think of. Not even Mitrel, with all his exceptional traits, made her feel that way after being together for years.

“What do you think?”

“Hmm?” Nora was suddenly pulled from her thoughts when a voice was directed at her. Both Elly and Nelimir were looking at her.

“Since you’ll be in charge of training us from now on I thought I’d let Elly take a look at your abilities,” Nelmir said. Nora didn’t know if the man was oblivious to the distaste showing on Elly’s face or if he simply didn’t care.

“More to placate her than to test your skills,” he said a bit apologetically.

“Nelimir,” Elly said in warning, but Nelimir brushed her off with an eye roll in her direction. The giant woman grunted in dissatisfaction and waited in silence for Nora’s answer.

“I don’t mind, should we do it now?” Nora said.

“I need to determine what route we’ll be taking so it’ll just be the two of you,” Nelimir said. “But I trust Elly’s judgment and self-control in this matter.” He gave Elly a warning look, but the woman ignored him. The Draconian’s Tavern leader gave a nod to Nora and left for his chambers.

Now alone, both women just stared at each other; Nora with a pleasing but dishonest smile and Elly an honest scowl. Nora had the same animosity that Elly probably felt for her, but this was someone dear to Yvain. She had to at least try to create a respectful relationship, or maybe dispel whatever it was that had both of them standing at odds with barely a spoken word.

Nora had been trying to pinpoint the source of opposition since yesterday. When the trio had left the dungeon in a scramble, she had already noticed people waiting for them. She hadn’t felt any type of hostility from the group, so she opted to just watch. But when Elly moved closer it was Nora who felt aggression grow inside her. Elly picked up on that too and returned the act in kind. No one had noticed but them.

Since that moment both women had been mentally circling each other ready to strike, neither understanding what was going on. Or at least Nora didn’t, and she doubted Elly understood the situation any more than she did. A small part of the blame for her emotional turmoil until know fell on this tension that had formed between them.

“Do you always look so angry?” Nora asked. She couldn’t stop the slight venom that spilled with the words.

Elly turned for the tallest door out of all of the ones there, obviously custom made for her. “Follow me,” she said calmly as she walked through the entrance. Nora, keeping her smile, did as told and closed the door behind her.

She was pleasantly surprised to find that Elly’s room was even bigger than the living room. Spaces created by nature were one thing, but this was all man-made—or woman-made in this case. She really needed to have a long conversation with Roesia.

Contrary to Yvain’s modest style, Elly’s room was covered wall to wall with all kinds of weapons. Like paintings strategically placed to create a view pleasing to the eye; bigger equipment lower in place than the smaller ones. A bed big enough for Elly and then some was at the corner almost forgotten. The central piece to the room was several practice dummies spread randomly over the floor, worn down by constant abuse.

“So how will you evaluate me?” Nora asked.

Elly stopped in front of one of the dummies and ran her hand over its scars. “I won’t,” she said, “I asked Nelimir to let me test you only so we could have a private conversation without raising suspicion.” Elly turned around with a self-mocking smile, “Though I suspect he already knows as much.”

“That’s a bit better than the way you’ve been glaring at me since we saw each other, at least,” Nora said, pointing out her smile. Her comment made Elly scowl again, the change so sudden and honest that Nora snorted through her nose in her failure to suppress a chuckle.

“I want you to leave Draconian’s Tavern tonight,” Elly said. “I’ll tell Yvain and the rest that your loss of strength is permanent and, not wanting to be a burden, left to find your daughter.”

“What makes you think I’ll do as you say?” Nora said. She had already expected the tall woman to be against her joining the guild. It ticked her off. If Elly wasn’t someone close to Yvain, if Nora had enough standing to decide the woman’s fate, she’d be the one being told to leave. It was unfortunate that Nora being an empress didn’t offer any advantages in that room.

“You’re not only from the dragon race, but you’re also the goddess of dragons,” Elly said. “Leaving aside the matter of your race, status as an empress and the horrendous mistake you and my idiot apprentice made, the zealots that follow you will burn down their own people in your name.” She walked up to one of the walls in the room and grabbed the biggest sword she could reach.

Nora’s guard instantly went up, “They won’t do such a thing unless told otherwise.”

Elly scoffed, “I used to be in a guild before joining this one. One that was much more informed on the continent’s happenings.” She walked up to the dummy in front of Nora, weapon in hand, and swung the sword in a perfectly mastered arc. “We both know you can’t guarantee that.”

The group Yvain’s master mentioned were the very people that raised Nora when she fell into this world. She wanted to deny the tag of zealots, but it was an unfortunate attitude many took; it was something not unique to her, many gods and goddesses had similar following. And Starchildren weren’t omnipotent, things could get ... out of hands sometimes.

“I understand,” Nora said, “I’ve brought many dangers to this guild. If I could erase them all with the flick of my wrist I’d do so. But from my understanding you will all venture out eventually. Regardless of me being here or not, you will face many dangers on that fact alone.”

Nora had been averse to Yvain’s suggestion of teaching the group. She had never been a teacher to anyone, and despite her looks and status she didn’t have enough experience to feel like she wouldn’t make a mess of it. But maybe teaching the guild would be the ticket to finding her place inside the team.

“I can equip all of you with the skills necessary to protect yourselves.”

“I do a well enough job,” Elly said. Her speed when attacking the dummy had already surpassed what normal people could do.

Nora marveled at the woman’s skill and ferocity, though she couldn’t decide if she should be more impressed with the spectacle in front of her or the endurance of the poor dummy getting trashed. Impressive display aside, though, it wouldn’t be enough. Especially if Yvain’s explanation of his abilities was true.

“Can you use starlight?” she asked.

“Yes,” Elly said.

“What’s your rank?”

Elly didn’t answer.

“Do you train during the day or night?”

The tall woman swung her weapon in silence.

“What are the dangers of over-absorption? How can starlight be physically manifested? Have you found a specialist for Roesia?”

Elly was far from winded, and Nora didn’t doubt the woman could go on for hours training without breaking a sweat. But perspiration quickly clung to her as the sword in her hands slashed the dummy countless times, as Nora cornered her with questions she couldn’t answer.

Nora came closer to Elly, following the trajectories of the weapon as she concentrated what little starlight she had available in her whole arm. She lashed out and her hand forced Elly’s sword to a complete and effortless stop right before it made contact with the dummy. It didn’t get pushed back when it grabbed the weapon, and it didn’t budge when Elly struggled to bring it out of the grip holding it in place.

Nora kept a blank expression as Elly wrestled with the sword and tried her outmost to bring it back under her control. It was obvious the tall woman was proud as proud can be, and getting her to agree to Nora’s presence and training wouldn’t occur by insulting her; no matter how much Nora wanted to do so. Showing the overwhelming difference in their strength would suffice.

“You’re a danger to all of us,” Elly said, panting after giving up. “I won’t have my friends die just because Yvain couldn’t keep his pants in check.”

“I don’t want anyone to die,” Nora said, “but that decision will be made for all of you if you stay as you are, I can change that.”

Elly scowled at Nora and then at her sword. Getting the hint, Nora released the weapon.

“Can you handle yourself in hand-to-hand combat?” Elly asked as she took the sword back to its rightful place.

“It’s not my strong point, but I can manage,” Nora said, confused at the abrupt change in topic.

Elly came back and stepped into Nora’s personal space. They were close enough now that the red head was forced to look up from where she was standing, but she didn’t back away from the intimidating stature of the other.

“I haven’t liked you since the first time I laid my eyes on you,” Elly said.

“I thought I was the only one,” Nora said, frowning. Did she fail in convincing her?

Elly gave several short nods in understanding. “Let’s go outside. If you can defeat me then I’ll let you join us with no protest.”

Yvain went to find Selt when Nelimir gave the word. He wanted to apologize and knew his friend was giving him the chance. Nora didn’t try to follow him, but she made sure to squeeze his guts out before he left. Being held in her forceful arms, he could tell how reluctant she was to see them separate. He felt the same. At that moment he didn’t want to leave at all, knowing that the kid would come back on his own. But that same idea just increased his guilt, so in the end he left.

As Yvain walked up the stairs, he tried to think about what he could say to Selt. They hadn’t really been at odds before, and a lot of times it could be difficult to gauge how the boy would react to outside stimulus. Maybe what he should do first was try and figure out what had Selt so riled up. Then hopefully he could find a way to mend the situation. But Yvain moved the idea to the back of his head. The first thing he had to do was apologize. He would start with a simple ‘sorry’ and see where things moved from there.

Yvain stopped at the top of the stairs and replayed the moment he lost control. Selt hadn’t even done much. It was the simple fear that his insistence on denying Nora’s presence might have been enough to push the others’ opinion toward doing the same. If Yvain hadn’t been so engrossed inside his and Nora’s own world, he might have realized sooner that her status as a goddess would be all the couple needed to convince his friend to let her stay. No use crying over it now, though.

Pushing the door open, an empty carriage greeted Yvain. He surveyed the area but Selt couldn’t even be seen outside in the grassy fields. He then exited and let the windy environment sweep away some of the tension and worries filling him. The nearest place that Selt could go to in such a short amount of time that offered some stimulus was the village the group had left behind the day before. So Yvain headed there while trying to catch a glimpse of Selt’s back running all over the place in excitement.

When he arrived, the place was already in full swing with kids playing, mother’s going about their household tasks, and a few men leaving for the fields most likely to start their agricultural work. It was possible that the residents woke up even before the members of Draconian’s Tavern.

Yvain understood that their work was honest and paramount to the survival of the community, even that of towns and cities, but he would never choose such a mundane life. Just walking in the presence of such an environment made him feel restless.

It was ironic that he couldn’t find it much different from his home, even with its supposedly higher quality of life. Regardless, all he needed to do was find Selt, apologize, and leave the unremarkable community.

Sadly, the task turned out to be more difficult than he thought. After spending the better half of an hour asking around for any sightings of the kid, he found that just as he was put off by the villagers, the villagers were put off by him. Many either ignored him or gave unhelpful answers. A few that had seen how he had threated Michael were outright rude and told him off with no fear of what Yvain might do to them, not that he would do anything. Unable to blame them, he’d move on while feeling slightly miffed.

It was only the children who, impressed by his build, would take the initiative to approach him with full smiles inside their innocent curiosity. Helpless, he tried to follow along awkwardly while giving disregarded signals that he needed to move on. Thankfully they would quickly be ushered away by their mother’s, leaving Yvain wondering if Charlotte was like them.

Eventually Yvain decided to ask the goddess of villages as she had been the only one to have welcomed he and his friends so far, albeit while not being too happy about it.

Not many surrounded the unassertive home yet, but Yvain still hesitated to walk forward when he saw Michael in his usual position guarding the entrance; a villager cradling his arm had just walked in. If he wanted any type of help, he would have to be as amicable as possible, something Nelimir was far better at.

“Don’t you get tired of pushing your weight around?” Michael said. Realizing that he’d been caught staring, Yvain immediately tried to rectify the misunderstanding.

“I didn’t come here for that,” he said and Michael raised an accusatory eyebrow. Yvain kicked himself mentally for his poor choice of words. Would apologizing help? No matter how uncomfortable it made him it wouldn’t be the end of the world. He might be able to more easily get an audience with the goddess too.

“I’m sorry about what happened last time; can I see Lydia?” Yvain said.

It took a few moments for the words to register in Michael. “Apology accepted. No, you can’t—leave,” he said.

Not expecting to be sent away so abruptly after apologizing, Yvain stood awkwardly in place trying to figure out what to say next. The clumsy act made Michael chuckle, which in turn made Yvain self-conscious. It wasn’t a position he was used to being in and anger began to well up. But Selt took precedence over his stung ego; or so Yvain told himself.

“Please, I’m looking for one of my friends,” he said.

“How is that my problem?” Michael said.

Maybe he should just leave? Even Nelimir didn’t manage to convince the man to let them through yesterday and arguing with him would just be a waste of time they didn’t have. If Yvain just searched faster, he would probably find Selt sooner rather than later. But the kid had a way of losing himself and they had to leave as fast as possible. The longer they remained in place the more danger they were in.

“Look, I’m going in whether you like it or not,” Yvain said.

“Or what? You’ll just beat me aside?” Michael said.

“If I have too.” Yvain didn’t mean the words, but they were already out, and he needed to hurry.

“Then your apology was just an act?” Michael said and Yvain inwardly groaned.

“No! I’m...” He stopped himself and took a deep breath, passing his hand over his hair. Forget the apology, he would just be honest.

“I overreacted when we first met and wounded you unnecessarily,” he said. “Regardless, we were just carrying out our respective duties. I’m apologizing to you now only because of Lydia.” Yvain faced Michael in silence, waiting for the older man to respond. At that moment the villager that had entered the house came out. He was still cradling his arm, but it was now covered in a paste similar to the one the goddess slathered over Nora except of a more reddish hue.

Yvain and Michael shifted their attention to the man as he nervously looked at the two goliaths. It didn’t take long before he made a quick get-away, looking back only once before running off.

“Can you not scare off the villagers?” Lydia appeared at the door. “I don’t know if the two of you realize how loud you can be.” The goddess looked past them. When Yvain followed her gaze, he found that the few villagers that had been in line were gone.

“You told him to apologize?” Michael asked.

“He’s as muscle-headed as you are and he hurt you, why would I not?” the goddess said calmly. She then addressed Yvain, “I’ll at least thank you for speaking candidly.”

Yvain simply nodded and went straight to the point, “I’m looking for my friend. He’s pretty skinny and small, always looks like he’s searching for something.”

“I saw him,” Lydia said, “made quite a spectacle before leaving in a rush.”

Yvain was about to ask of his whereabouts, but she stopped him.

“Before I tell you where he went though, I’d like to talk with you,” she said and went back inside. Michael didn’t bother to argue and went in after her. With no other option Yvain followed behind him.

The large man stood by the door as Yvain walked in and closed it once everyone was inside. He took position right in front of it, putting on a bored expression with arms crossed.

Was he trying to be intimidating? Yvain didn’t pay it any mind as they already knew who the superior combatant was.

“Take a seat,” Lydia said and pointed at a chair nearby.

The goddess was at her usual spot, this time studying Yvain instead of her concoction inside the bowl at the table.

“So, what do you need of me?” Yvain asked, sitting down.

“Just to answer a few questions,” Lydia said, “Do you know that Nora is part of the beast race?”

To say that Yvain felt put on the spot was an understatement. He tried his best to not let his expression give anything away as he figured out how to respond. How in the stars did she know? When did she figure it out? Maybe there was a trait Yvain and the rest missed, and Nora’s disguise wasn’t perfect after all.

“What makes you say that?” Yvain asked, trying to buy some time. Should he feign ignorance? Or make a stand and say he already knew? Lydia had shown approval toward Nelimir’s ideals for the future, but could Yvain risk giving too much away on just that?

“It’s hard to miss such an illustrious personage, now answer the question please,” Lydia said.

Would he have to kill them both? Yvain didn’t think he could do it, but anyone could go to a guild building and give possible leads relating to beasts for rewards. Who could say how much they would give for royalty, and a goddess to boot? That title alone had pushed an emperor to ruin.

“Has anyone told you that you’re very easy to read?” Lydia said.

Yvain’s head snapped up. “Just once,” he said uneasily.

“I know who Nora is, child; I’m asking you because I need to make sure that you do,” she said. “Your friend’s vision for the future is admirable but men and women that could move mountains have tried the same and failed. Yet your current group hasn’t even begun to understand what a pebble is.” Lydia sighed sadly, “That same group is now traveling with the goddess of one of the most powerful races.”

“Don’t forget she’s an empress too,” Michael chimed in, but Lydia waved him away.

“That’s inconsequential in face of her godhood,” she said.

Yvain sat straighter in his chair, uncomfortable at being out of his depth. Michael too? Who in the stars were these people? One of the most important reasons that Nelimir was dead-set on leaving Empryon was because he could feel a gap in his understanding of the realities of his environment—their group as a whole wasn’t as preoccupied with gathering such knowledge, but they all wanted to see more outside of their constraints. Even the general populace, despite their susceptibility to propaganda, held a tension of uncertainty. Lydia and her bodyguard weren’t exhibiting any of those shortcomings now and it made Yvain feel inadequate, unsure of how he should approach the conversation or what the best course of action was.

The goddess pinned him under her stare once more. “Not even mentioning a possible war breaking out, the current situation will shift once more heedless of our wants and you and your friends are right in the line of fire,” Lydia said. “Knowing all this...” as she spoke, her expression became lost for a moment, preoccupied even.

“Let me rephrase the question,” she said. “Do any of you know what you’re getting into?”

Yvain had absolutely no idea what he was getting into. None of them did. Ironically, that was the reason they needed to push onward.

“We don’t,” he said.

“What are your plans to—” Yvain raised a hand, cutting Lydia off. He couldn’t let himself remain there. He was at a vast disadvantage and could too easily put his friends in danger with a single slip of the tongue. He wouldn’t hurt these people, but he wouldn’t engage with them in conversation anymore.

“Thank you for your time Lydia, I’ll look for my friend on my own,” Yvain said and stood without waiting for the goddess to respond. Then a hand clasped onto his shoulder, forcing him to sit down again. The thin edge of a dagger appeared on the surface of his neck.

Yvain violently moved out of reflex, conditioned by a lifetime of strength superiority, and the dagger slightly cut into skin. Unfortunately he couldn’t budge himself free, even with just one hand now holding him in place.

Lydia glared at the space above Yvain’s head.

“I didn’t expect him to struggle so hard,” Michael said.

How?! Yvain thought. Michael wasn’t this strong before. No one Yvain had met, outside of those inside Nora’s dungeon, had been this strong before. Especially no human. It was one thing to lose to an unknown, but he knew humans, he knew them like the back of his hand. He didn’t lose to them. But Yvain only knew the ones from Empryon. Did that mean Michael was from the outside?

Giving Michael a slight frown in reproach, Lydia completed her question, “What are your plans to counteract your lack of knowledge?”

“I don’t have anything to tell you,” Yvain said, trying to keep the little dignity he felt he had left.

Lydia watched Michael and then gave him an almost reluctant nod.

“Are you sure about that?” the man said and allowed the knife at Yvain’s neck to draw more blood.

Yvain didn’t react though. As the knife trailed a red path all he did was give the goddess a motionless gaze. They both looked at each other for a few tense seconds as more blood fell. Lydia’s eyes were the first to waver.

“Enough,” she said, and Michael instantly released Yvain.

The goddess sighed, “This really doesn’t suit me.”

“I thought it was hot,” Michael laughed as he went to stand beside her.

“Of course you would,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

Michael cleaned his knife and put it away before setting an affectionate hand on Lydia’s shoulder which she covered with her own.

Yvain’s first impulse was to go for Michael’s throat, but he held it back. To start, he was at a disadvantage on knowledge. Now he was also outclassed in strength and he didn’t bring a weapon. He could only glare at Michael, but the older man just grinned back.

“That’s payback for last time,” he said.

“Shush,” Lydia said and swatted Michael’s hand. “I know that your guild is in sore need for someone with medical knowledge and I’d like to recommend a candidate,” she told Yvain.

“And you had to threaten me to do so?” Yvain said, gingerly touching the wound on his neck.

“Forgive me,” Lydia said with a gentle smile. “Blame it on the follies of a mother.”

Unlike the goddess, Michael was sporting a frown.

“That wasn’t the plan,” he said, looking at Lydia with annoyance.

“The alternative just leaves him wasting away his talents and working as a professional drunk,” Lydia said, her expression turning just a tad sour but not meeting her eyes.

Michael removed his hand from her shoulder.

“And alive,” he said, “If he joins these riffraff he’ll only end up dead.”

“We’re all going to end up dead someday,” Lydia said in a sharp tone, but then immediately changed to a softer one. ‘This is Empryon we’re talking about; his best fighting chance is with the prince’s guild.”

“His best fighting chance is with us,” Michael tried his best to keep his voice down, but it was proving to be difficult. “We can keep him safe.”

“Honey you can’t protect him forever,” Lydia said. “What matters is how he lives his life, and I won’t have him do it in the gutter with a bottle in hand while the world around him burns.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Michael said with furrowed brow and unblinking gaze.

The words made Lydia give Michael a hard look and the couple entered a stare off, but her eyes were quickly becoming red-rimmed against her will. Michael didn’t miss this, and his shoulders deflated.

“Sorry,” he said in almost a whisper. His head then snapped to Yvain as if he had completely forgotten their guest’s presence, and with a derisive snort walked out of the humble dwelling.

In the awkward silence the goddess tried to compose herself as she stared at the spot where Michael had been standing. She tried to blink away whatever tears were threatening to come out.

“Who did you have in mind?” Yvain asked. He was taken aback by the revelation that the one he thought was just a guard and the goddess of villages were in a closer relationship than expected. They even had a child. He also didn’t see any ring on either of them.

Whatever their situation, he didn’t have time for their domestic problems. Lydia was right in that they needed someone with more knowledge than how to stitch up a wound.