Chapter 21

I asked him, “WHAT is illegal, Mr French?”

“Marrying...” he counted them, “Five women.”

“Allow me to correct you, Mr. French, if I may. Your implied assumption is wrong. I am not legally married to any woman, certainly none of these ladies. I AM married to them in practice, what is known as common law marriage, but no legal ceremony, so no illegality is involved. These ladies decided to be my wives, and so they are my wives. We are all happy together, so I don’t see where you might find a problem with that.”

The shocked man tried again, but with a question.

“You persuaded them all to marry you, without a legal ceremony?”

“Not quite. Three of them, I persuaded to marry me, but without much persuasion being needed; the other two persuaded me to marry them. We are all in a committed relationship, which is what matters, is it not?”

“Umm ... I suppose so. This is all new to me, Mr Hargreaves. Can I bring my wife over to meet them?”

I told him, “Please do. I assume you ladies have no objection to Mrs French coming to say hello?”

When my ladies gave their approval, French went back to his wife and had a whispered conversation before bringing her over. She seemed very much in charge of herself. She confidently looked my wives over, then asked them, “Happy with your man, girls?”

They all showed their agreement with big grins, and she said, “Excellent. Nice to see women who know their own minds. Leonard, if you want other wives to join us, I get the power of veto, O.K.?”

Startled, he promised, “Of course, dear; whatever you want.”

“Well, my younger cousin Teresa is still unmarried at nearly thirty, and I always thought she fancied you. You ogle her at every chance when we meet her. Shall we ask her if she wants to join our marriage?”

Already unbalanced by her, French spluttered, “What? Do you mean that, Shirley? You want Terry to be a second wife? Really?”

“I do. You can afford to look after both of us financially, I am sure. Sexually ... well we shall have to see how you can manage. It would be fun to have a new baby in the house, with our own kids grown up and out of the house.”

Sharl went over to hug her and said, “As long as your man loves you both, and you both love him, everything should be fine, Shirley.”

“Then it is settled, Leonard. Mr Hargreaves and these ladies have shown you how it is done.”

By now, French was panicky, so I tapped him on the arm and assured him, “It will be fine, Mr French. Just learn to do what your women want, and everyone will be happy. That is what I find.”

He turned to face me and nodded, still white-faced by all this. “You are sure?”

“I am. You will be wonderful, Mr French. Just defer to your first wife as the team leader, and everything will go swimmingly. Right, Sharl?”

“Right, Jimmy,” she confirmed. She wisely said nothing about her previous life style.

His wife took French by the hand and led him back to their table. I could see that his mind was still unsteady, but he would get there eventually. He had our family as a model to work from, so just one extra wife would not be much trouble for him, if the cousin was willing to accept Mrs French as the boss. From what she had said, that was a given.

In the background, our restaurateur had a couple of waitresses champing at the bit to get our main course orders, so I signalled for him to send them over. They were quick to get the details of what was wanted, including particular likes and dislikes, and left us to finish our starters. That would give their cooks time to get the main courses ready to be enjoyed.

The rest of the meal was perfect; all the dishes tasty and neatly presented, and the choices of sweets was considerable: French, Italian and American desserts. Both Lily and Flora chose banana splits, but I picked Black Forest gateau, and it almost melted in the mouth, it was that good. Bananas, you see, sometimes gave me a migraine, and I didn’t want to experience that again. That was why I avoided the choice of banana split.

We completed the meal with a choice of coffees of varying strengths, and as I was finishing my welcome second cup, the host asked if he could have a word with me in private.

Wondering what this was about, I got up and followed him into his office, where he asked me, “Pardon me for being forward, Mr Hargreaves, but am I correct in that these five ladies are all your wives? I heard some of your conversation with Mr French. He was quite loud,” he ended with a deprecating smile.

I told him, “They are indeed my wives. Do you have an objection?”

“Not at all. I wanted your advice in a delicate situation. I am banging two of my waitresses, and I have discovered that they finally know about each other, and I am in deep shit! What should I do? Is it feasible for me to make them both my wives, without legally marrying either? Or might suggesting this chase them off? You see my problem.”

“I do. Do you love either of them? Really love them, not just enjoy as a sex partner?”

“To begin with, no, but this has developed over months and I find I now love both of them, and I don’t want to drop either of them. Neither deserves to be sent away, and it would hurt me to lose either or both from my life.”

The solution, to me, was straightforward.

“Then get them together, in a private room, apologise for your past behaviour, tell them you love them, and invite them both to become your wives. Explain that with the law only allowing one legal wife, marrying one would downgrade the other, which you didn’t feel was right. Ask them if they would consent to both being equally your wife, with all that entails in a marriage, including your financial support, living as a family group in one house, and you being father to their children in future, as well as responsible for any they already have. Promise them the equivalent of a pre-nup agreement as a guarantee of your commitment to them. You have to show that your intentions are honorable, just in duplicate.

If they love you as much you say you love them, they will agree to be mutual beneficiaries of your love. Even if they are not actually ‘in love’ with you already, prove yourself to them and in a short while they will be in love with you.

You can’t let them hang as they are, my friend. Take them both on as wives, or drop them both to make them free of you. You have no other honourable option.”

“Thank you, Mr Hargreaves. I will do as you say. Would you like your meal ‘on the house’ as recompense for your advice?”

“Good God, no. If you take my advice and it all ends up going horribly wrong, you will be cursing me and I will feel guilty for taking the freebie. If it all goes well, then in the future when you are sure you have a stable family you can give us a freebie as a thank-you.”

We returned to the table, where I started to pick up the tab, but Sharl got me to hand it over to her.

“This is our treat, Jimmy, so we are paying for it on my card. We all chipped in to cover it. Our man is getting a deserved meal out with us, simply because we want to; nothing more.”

As my eyes filled with tears of love, I could do nothing else other than thank them all, restraining myself to a chaste kiss for each until we got home. As I was driving on the way home, I refused to discuss what the restaurant host wanted from me, but as soon as we were inside the house, I was bombarded with questions.

I relented once I had my coat off and changed from outdoor shoes into house slippers. Naked was too early yet.

“Now, Jimmy, tell us! We are dying to know what was so important that it needed privacy.”

“It was very simple and straightforward, ladies. He was fucking two of his waitresses, and they had discovered the fact that each was not alone in his affections. He wanted to know what I advised, as a man with five women.”

“Oh, and this naturally makes you an expert, Jimmy?” jibed Sharlene with a grin.

“Only an expert on marrying you ladies,” I retorted. “Can I tell you the rest of the tale?” I waited silently until they saw that they had to let me continue if they were to learn more.

They relented, so I went on, “Based on my experience with you ladies, I asked him if he loved both women, and he admitted that he had not originally intended they be more than fuck buddies, but he now had strong feelings for them both; admitting that he found he loved them.

I told him, ‘If you think they love you as well, you should ask both of them to meet with you, and there offer to marry both without a legal ceremony, to avoid one being more legally secure than the other. You have to promise them a full marriage except legal status: paying for their costs as your wives, living in the one house with you, bearing your children, and so on; accepting full responsibility as their husband.’ I left him to go ahead with that plan, after he decided he would try it.”

“That sounds sweet,” said Charlotte. “Just like us with you, Jimmy.”

“That was my thought,” I answered. “If it can work for me, why not for him? As long as they love each other.”

“And we love you, Jimmy; you can be sure of that!”

“You know I love you, Charlotte; you and the others, equally. My love is not restrictive; it is all-encompassing, for you, Sharlene, Cherry, Lily and Flora. You are all wonderful women in my eyes.”

Of course, I ended up having to make love to all of them that night, over a period of several hours as soon as my woody returned to useful condition each time. Only a couple got my sperm but they all got my loving.

By morning I had slept enough to go to work and become a useful member of society.

I returned to Copies to encourage more improvements and cast my eye over preparations for new equipment, checking out the costings involved. I used the finance department to check my calculations. So far, this year’s budget would not be stretched to breaking point, but I remained careful about what was to be allowable in the current financial year. More could be done on a phased basis over the next year or two, particularly if the group funds could be accessed for a loan.

When I retired to my office for the mid-morning coffee break, Leonard French offered to join me, and I accepted his company, for I wanted to hear how he and his wife got on when they arrived home.

I asked that question, and he blushed, saying, “We didn’t go directly home, Jimmy. Shirley insisted we go visit her cousin Teresa, whom she reminded me preferred to be called Terry. When we arrived, Terry welcomed us in, and eyed me up in a most peculiar, almost predatory way, until I twigged that Shirley must have phoned her while I was fetching the car to the restaurant door. Terry was clearly primed for the news.

Shirley told her now in seeming innocence, ‘Leonard wants to ask you something, if you don’t mind, Terry.’ Terry looked me in the eye and asked, “What do you want to ask me, Leonard? Anything important?

I tentatively said, ‘I have admired you for years, Terry, and Shirley tells me you fancied me as well, so ... so ... Would you be willing to marry me ... to join our marriage, that is?”

She stared at me in apparent surprise, then asked me in a direct challenge, ‘Do you mean as a second wife, Lenny?’ ‘Yes, Terry,’ I told her, “A second wife, but a full wife in every way.’ ‘Is Shirley still top dog, or rather top bitch?”

‘Terry, Shirley has always been the lead person in our marriage, so I doubt that will change, but you will both be equal wives in my eyes.’ ‘Then yes, Lenny, I will be your second wife, with pleasure. Do you want to fuck me to seal the deal? I am still a virgin at the age of twenty-nine, so I must warn you that sex is all new to me.’ Shirley jumped in with, ‘That would make perfect sense, Leonard. Go up to her bedroom and make her a woman, smartish, my man!’”

I demanded, “Tell me you did it, Leonard; that you didn’t back out!”

The man then giggled, actually giggled, before he responded.

“Eventually, Jimmy. She was shy about disrobing in front of me, so I decided to be manful and burst out, ‘Dammit! If you are going to be my wife, this will happen often, so stop being shy in front of me, Terry!’ That made her stop faffing around, and now she stripped as quickly as she could, to stop thinking about exposing her body. I said, “So you are a virgin, still intact, Terry?’ She told me, ‘Yes, but I have used a dildo at times, so my hymen is probably long gone.’ ‘Good,’ I said, and we got down to the essentials. I asked what she wanted for her first sex, but she asked me to just fuck her; no preliminaries. I warned her that she might not be so juicy in her pussy, but she told me she was already damp, just thinking about being my wife from now on, so we set to.’

“Good man!”, I told him. “Were both of you satisfied?”

‘I was,’ he told me, ‘but she was somewhat shocked by the experience, and fainted. She must have had an orgasm. She just lay there, so I fucked her again, and she had another orgasm without waking up. I had to pull out until she could return to consciousness. Once she was mentally with me again, she grabbed me and said, “I like it! We are going to do this often, Lenny.”

I reminded her I was not using a condom, so she might soon become pregnant, but she just said, ‘At my age, it is about time!’ We dressed and came back downstairs, to where Shirley was waiting with a smile and a stiff drink for each of us, to toast our new status. She will move in with us tomorrow or the next day, once she has sorted out what she needs to bring with her. I reckon, now that I have got into it – and got into her – that I am going to enjoy having two wives. What our grown-up children will think of it, I can’t imagine!”

I chuckled, “Probably tell you they are looking forward to getting a baby brother or sister.”

“You may be right,” he said with a surprised smile. “I hadn’t thought it through that far. Meeting your wives at the restaurant has changed my life, Jimmy. However, it is time we got back to work.”

So we did. I gulped down my cooling coffee, and we returned to our respective tasks.

Ten minutes later, Madge appeared at my door. I asked her what she wanted, and she explained, “I think the man you suggested may suit me, sir; I checked his file, and he is well educated, single and has prospects, but how do I get him to notice me?”

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. I expect I imagined you approaching him, but the other way is more normal, me as the intermediary. I’ll speak to him today, and suggest that you might be receptive to being asked out on a date. How is that?”

“Fine, sir. The company rumour machine this morning is claiming that you have five wives. Five? Is it really true?”

“Damn. Either French has been talking, or more people noticed us at the restaurant last night. Yes, Madge, I have five wives, and we are happy together. I do not make a habit of publicising the fact of my marital condition, so please do not confirm the rumours. If asked, just say you had heard the rumour.”