Chapter 3: Cowardly and Cowering

Dan stayed out of Pam’s way for some time. But she caught him one day at the end of school. She glared at him, “Don’t send your sister to me in place of yourself. It’s cowardly. I deserve better.”

“You’re absolutely right Pamela, I am sorry, and you deserve better. I’ll leave you alone so someone better can take you out.” Dan slunk away, as if he had a tail tucked behind his legs.

Pam was fuming. “That was not what I meant to happen! Men are so clueless. I wanted Dan to talk to me like I was a real person, not arrogant and bitchy.”

Dan was in despair. To himself: “I can’t believe Pamela thought I was gay. I’m fine with gay people, but something about me just repels women. She was the only girl, besides Dré, that I could actually talk to, and now that’s done.”

To keep away from Pamela and everyone, Dan altered his daily pattern. He found a quiet spot behind a building for his lunch period. He only ate sparingly, whatever he had happened to stuff in his pocket: a juice box, some beef jerky, a granola bar. Prom came and went with Dan not taking any notice. (Dad drove Dré and her date, evidently.)

At his age, Dan was growing another couple of inches. But his meager diet caused noticeable weight loss. He skipped breakfasts, as well, pretending to have an early school obligation. Instead, he went to the library and studied. The librarian was an early riser and strictly kept a 7:00 to 4:00 schedule, which worked for Dan.

At semester’s end, his grades were sparkling and his name would be on the Dean’s List. This was nothing really new for Dan. And his advanced placement tests came back with scores of 5 (out of 5), earning him college credits and opportunities to skip courses like “Bonehead English” in his first college year.

But physically and mentally, Dan was a mess. His clothing hung loosely on his wasted frame. His eyes were dull, his face took on a haunted mask except those rare occasions when he had to speak with someone. In one of the last class meetings before the summer break, a teacher took time to speak with him privately.

“Daniel Foley, you are one of the most accomplished students I have ever taught, but you worry me. You seem both afraid and ashamed, and your body has been visibly deteriorating. You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but I can see you need help. Serious, professional help. I’d like to help you get it.”

“Mr. Emmons, you shouldn’t worry about me. You have plenty to do already, and I don’t want to be a nuisance. School is ... stressful for me, you can understand, and I will be home for the summer to decompress. Really sir, thank you, but no.” Dan fled from the room before the teacher could react to his words. After he left Mr. Emmons was sad and frustrated, but he saw no other options, so the issue was dropped.