Chapter 14: A Fairy Godmother, But She's Very Straight

Dan dropped Grace at the dealership for her shift. Through the day, she heard a lot of shouting from Uncle Hugo’s office. But when he emerged at 5:00, he was beaming. “Graciela, come with me!” Out the back door a group had gathered, including Dan and Darcy and Ed. Grace was overwhelmed.

Gleaming in the afternoon sunlight was a new Jeep Cherokee. It was a light brown metallic, with a big poofy white bow on the roof. It was equipped with all the options. Weeping, she kissed Hugo. “Thank you, Tio.” Then Darcy and Ed. “Thank you, lovebirds.” Darcy was laughing through her tears. Ed just looked stupidly happy, like he had won in a lottery he didn’t remember entering.

Then Grace came to Dan. Grinning, she reached out for a handshake. He kissed her hand, then hauled her in for a proper steamy kiss. The assembled group laughed and applauded. For his ears only, she whispered, “Mi amor.”

“It’s like milk chocolate. Your name is Bliss.”

Weeks later, Darcy picked up Grace in her Lexus. Although Dan was loaded down with coursework, he had arranged to cover Grace’s shifts when necessary.

This new clinic was adjacent to the medical center complex. They were ushered into an office for the workup. After recording her history, and logging the stored values in her glucometer, the Doctor began to describe the plan.

“We can work with this history. Ms. Rodriguez, you must discontinue your birth control pills. You will need pads, not tampons, and a basal thermometer. You won’t be sticking your fingers, as you will wear a monitoring glucometer, with bluetooth to download your readings. We will assign you a personal dietician and Ms. Baker is hiring a chef. Once we see your A1C and serum glucose are secure at a constant low level, we will detect your ovulation time and you can have productive intercourse. Ah, has her partner been fertility tested?”

Darcy replied, “We’re getting that done very soon.”

“Good. Now, I must tell you this treatment is quite expensive and insurance won’t pay. Do you have arrangements in place?” “We do,” Darcy answered firmly.

“Then we will see you next week. Keep this card with our contact details. And good luck to you.”

Darcy, driving back: “About what I expected. Are you OK?” “I was thinking this is going to be difficult for Dan. He’s never seen me PMS-ing, or avoiding sex. It will be weird having somebody else cooking for us, too. I hope he still wants me after all these changes.”

“Of course he will, Grace. He worships you. You know what true love is? It’s when he’s down at the 7-11 store buying you period pads at 3 a.m.”

Dan was in for a serious shock. Darcy had brought him, with Grace, to a urology clinic. Inside, the nurse was explaining. “Can I go with him?” “Yes, but you must follow the rules. You both need latex gloves. He has to be washed so his groin is clean and doesn’t touch any skin. His penis must be controlled so the ejaculation goes directly into the cup. Clear?”