Chapter 5: Fidelity

When the rays of a bright Sunday morning sunrise filtered into the Hansen’s bedroom, they found Lisa sleeping. Since her kids had become teens, and especially after they left the house, Sundays had become Lisa’s one true day off -- no work, no exercise, nothing but relaxation. As she awoke, she looked over and noticed that Bill was already up and about. She rose, put on her new skimpy silk robe, gave her teeth a quick brush, and headed out to find him.

In the kitchen, a pot of coffee had been brewed and some sliced fruit was sitting out. That was interesting, she thought — usually Bill makes bacon and eggs on Sundays. Lisa munched on some fruit, filled her cup, and continued her search.

She found Bill in the garage, pumping up the tires of their bicycles. Lisa had always done some riding for cardio, and she had bought him a bike as a birthday present a couple of years ago. They had taken a few rides together, but it was clear that biking wasn’t really Bill’s thing, so she didn’t push it.

“Good morning, lover, did you sleep well?” Lisa asked.

“Yes I did. How about you?”

“Like a baby, and it was so nice to wake up to fruit and coffee. No bacon and eggs this morning?”

“No, I’ve been doing a little too much bacon and egging lately. I need to cut back a bit or I’ll be buying new pants.”

Bill paused and gave her a long look, “I like that robe, is it new?”

Lisa did a little twirl and said, “Yeah, I put my old one in the closet to save for when I’m in the nursing home. When I’m at home from now on, I’m going to try to wear things that make me feel sexy. Do you think I look sexy in this?”

“Yes, but you look sexy to me in almost anything.”

“Thank you, even though you know I was fishing for that. So what’s up with the bikes?”

“I’d like to go riding with you today.”

Lisa beamed a big smile, set down her coffee cup, walked over to Bill and hugged him. “I would love that.” She ran her hands over Bill’s crotch and said, “Do you want to bend me over before or after the ride? Or should I just get on my knees and take care of you now?”

“What has gotten into you, Lisa?”

“Your big stud cock, last night, Daddy, don’t you remember?” she whispered in his ear.

“It was hard to forget. I’ve been thinking a little bit this morning, and I was going to talk to you later, but maybe we should talk now. Let me wash my hands and I’ll meet you inside.”

They sat down in the living room, and Bill started, “Lisa, I know that you’re a planner, so I have to believe that what’s been happening the last couple of days is the product of a lot of careful forethought. But it was a planning committee of one, and I wasn’t part of it. So you’re way ahead of me. Yeah, I’d like to keep having sex like we had last night. Someday, maybe, you’ll tell me how a woman who’s never given me head learned how to give a pornstar quality blowjob, but right now I need to catch up with you. I have a couple of questions that might be pretty uncomfortable.”

“Bill, that makes a lot of sense. From your perspective, I went from a priss who would barely have sex with you to, I guess, a pornstar wannabe, in a couple of days. I get that it would be pretty unsettling. Ask me anything, and you’ll get an honest answer -- this thing won’t work without total honesty.”

“I guess my question is pretty unfocused, but I’ll ask it anyway. Where did this all come from?”

“Well, I have been thinking about that a lot. When the kids left, I was basically lonely and bored. You know this town isn’t the kind of place that I wanted to end up. I had dreams of living in a city, having a cool apartment, a career at a non-profit, maybe, and kids in the far off future, if ever. So I started thinking about the pregnancy, how that changed my life and, well, made it less than it could have been. I think I started to blame you. Which isn’t at all fair, and I feel like shit for doing it, because we made Maisie together, and she was conceived out of love. You’ve worked hard to give us a good life, and I have a great job, really, I love it. But I don’t go to the ballet on Saturdays, I don’t hang out in a cool coffee shop with other women who take care of themselves and talk about books, fashion and even sex. Most of the women my age around here are frumps who want to talk about what’s good on TV and sex, for them, is something they complain about their husband wanting.”

“Besides my frustration with the town, I don’t travel -- really, I don’t have adventures. By the way, I’m not talking about going to Europe or something like that, though if you want to go to Europe, let’s buy the tickets. I’m talking about doing something that takes me out of my comfort zone, with the love of my life.”

Bill looked pensive and replied, “Wow, that is a lot to take in. I really want to think about it more, but I get it that I’m not Mr. Excitement. I’m pretty happy working at the mine, hunting and fishing, watching football, doing the home improvement thing. Honestly, the only thing that I thought was missing from our marriage was a bit more sex. So when you put this on the table, at first I felt like I hit the jackpot. But after I thought about it for a bit, I realized that you’re a pretty complex woman. You wouldn’t make an offer like that unless there were some big thoughts and emotions behind it. If I just started using you like a $20 hooker without knowing what you really want to get out of our 30 days, this wouldn’t end well.”

“Bill, I’m going to respect that you need to think about it and not push. Thanks for not getting angry or defensive, because I think you know that I brag about you all the time. You are in so many ways a great husband. I’m just kind of high maintenance and needy, but maybe that’s just how couples work.”

“High maintenance!” Bill said, astonished. “Jesus, Lisa, I should send a few of the guys who work with me over to tell you stories about their wives, and you’ll know what high maintenance is. You’ve never overspent, you help out around the house, you have a great job, you were — are -- a great mother. Look at that beater you drive around in, even though we could afford to buy you any car you wanted. Yeah, you spend a lot of time taking good care of yourself, but I’ll be god damned if I complain about having the hottest MILF in town on my arm.”

“Bill Hansen that last remark just earned you about a dozen blowjobs,” Lisa smiled. “I have some more things to tell you, but can we please have a whisper talk so I feel comfortable saying them?”

Bill looked a bit surprised -- a whisper talk was something they had made up when they first became lovers. They would lay in bed together naked, and take turns spooning each other, listening to their hopes and dreams, in a whisper in each other’s ears.

Lisa took Bill by the hand and they went into the bedroom. They lay in bed naked, with Lisa as the big spoon because, as every whisper talker knows, the woman starts the whisper talk. Bill had gotten a little hard as he saw Lisa’s robe fall to the floor, and when she spooned him, she reached down and felt that he had hardened further.

“I think whisper talks used to work because we made love before we talked, but unless you’re uncomfortable, can we talk first?”

“I’m fine, tell me what’s on your mind, babe.” Lisa was “babe” and Bill was “buddy” when they had a whisper talk. She was so glad he remembered.

“Buddy, I really fucked up a long time ago and I need you to help me. You know how my mom screwed with my head when it came to sex. I was going to be a tramp if I did anything with a boy, nobody marries tramps, blah blah blah. So you were my first, but you know I like men to pay attention to me. I had a strong sex drive—I just didn’t know what to do with it. I made out and gave a lot of handjobs to boys in high school and college, but I was afraid to go farther.”

“I was able to open myself to you because I loved you and trusted you. It felt so right when I came for the first time on your beautiful cock. I couldn’t believe that my repression had kept me from feeling so wonderful. As we started our affair, I was in love with you, but I was also full of desire, longing, and lust for you. I thought about sex all the time. Of course, me being me, I never expressed it to you, but I wanted a full sex life. I wanted to feel your cock in my mouth. I wanted you to go down on me. I wanted to fuck, to unleash my desires with you and do everything that lovers do together. Someone I know talks about letting the beast out, and it’s only when the beast is out that you have really good sex. I didn’t use that word back then, but I knew that I wanted to let my beast out with you, the only man I’d ever loved.”

“Buddy, the night we made Maisie, my beast came out in a way that scared me. Little shy Lisa didn’t hold on to you and make you finish. It was my beast that wanted to feel you use your hard cock to put a baby into my womb. I held on to you and wouldn’t let you pull out because I was so filled with desire, with lust, with uncontrollable feelings that I was powerless to stop. I feel as though I almost raped you. I certainly did something without your consent.”

“After our baby was born, I now realize that my response was to revert back to what someone like my mother would do -- I repressed the beast. Even though I was on birth control and it was safe to experiment, I remembered how losing control cost me so much pain. Maisie is a joy and I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about her, but we both know those first few months of being pregnant were really hard on me. My mom was terrible, I was scared, you were scared, and some of our dreams died. So maybe it would have been understandable and even reasonable to pull back for a while. But not for almost 30 years! I fucked up, and I need you to help me, Buddy. I really, really need you.”

“Babe, I’m here for you. How can I help?”

“Buddy, my beast is out, and she’s having a fucking great time. Apparently, she likes to be a bit submissive, call you ‘Daddy’ and say shit that I would never be caught dead saying to anybody but her big stud. She wants to have a bare cunt, pierce her navel, nipples and maybe even her clit hood. She wants a tat, maybe a couple. She wants to give pornstar quality head and take it in the ass. She wants to be used, and she might want to be hurt a little. Most of all, she’ll do anything to get you to look at her the way you did 30 years ago. I hardly know her yet, and she’s already a really needy bitch. The only way I can see this going bad, and what really, really terrifies me, is the idea that you will be too scared, or too resentful, or too something to let your beast out and tame that needy bitch. Your turn, Buddy.”

It seemed to Lisa like 30 years had evaporated in seconds as she became the little spoon to Bill’s big spoon and he put his mouth near her ear.

“Babe, God I missed this. So much. It’s really hard for me to open up. Whisper talks were your idea, and it was such a good one, especially when we did it after we had sex, since back then it was the only time I could hold you without wanting to be inside you.”

“I don’t know if I like the word beast, but I get what you’re saying. I have it, all men have it, probably more than women -- but I have to say that recent events have me rethinking that.”

Lisa wiggled a bit and Bill kissed her neck. He continued, “I want you to know that I hardly ever think about the events that led to us having Maisie, but here are my honest feelings about it. I felt I had let you down when you got pregnant. I should have had condoms. Running out and going bare is what assholes do. Saying it was your beast or whatever is fine, but if I had been more responsible things would have been different.”

Lisa stopped him by touching his hand that was wrapped around her midriff. “Buddy, I love how you take care of me, but I wasn’t a china doll then, and I’m not now. You have no idea how much I wanted you inside me that day, and every day back then.” Lisa moved her ass up and down on Bill’s still hard cock as she said that.

Bill continued, “Babe, after the baby, I thought we would have more adventurous sex, too. But I could tell that you had changed. I was so in love with you, and you meant so much to me, that I thought it wasn’t that big a deal, especially since I was still fucking the hottest mom in the state.”

Lisa groaned and wiggled as he said that.

“I think I just fed the beast,” Bill said and chuckled as Lisa nodded vigorously. He continued, “When the Internet came along with all the porn you could ever watch, I think I just got used to sublimating my desire that way. But, babe, just like you’re a little scared of your beast, I’m scared of mine. I want to let it out, but I’m afraid of hurting you, and I don’t mean a couple of little taps with a belt on your ass. I mean some kinky stuff that we’d have to be really careful about. I’m scared of anal, babe. Your ass is so fucking hot — I’ve wanted to own it for so long, but people get hurt doing that, and I’d hate to do it wrong once and ruin it for you. Your turn.”

As they started to switch spots, Lisa stopped Bill and said, “Buddy I don’t have much more to say right now. I took anal off the all access menu for the reason you just said, but I want to give my ass to you. I trust you with my life, so trusting you to be careful, at least at the start, comes easy to me. Now I have a really big favor to ask. Just this once, can we make love the way we did back then, with you on top and us saying things to each other?’

Bill just smiled and nodded, then got on top of Lisa. Lisa wrapped her arms around his back and wrapped her legs around him, their old signal that she was ready to be penetrated.

“Ready already?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, our talk really turned me on.”

Bill began open mouth kissing Lisa, and she eagerly kissed back. She gasped as he entered her in one slow fluid motion and started his gentle thrusting.

Bill surprised Lisa by taking his mouth from hers and moving it towards her ear, just like they used to do.

“You are so fucking tight, babe.”

“So” thrust “Fucking” thrust “Tight”.

Lisa whispered, “I’ve never told you this, but when I do my kegels, I do five more than they told me to do - I call those ‘Bill’s five’ in my mind. Even shy little missionary-only Lisa wanted to be tight around her big stud’s cock.”

Bill began thrusting harder and deeper as Lisa pushed into each thrust.

He continued, “You are so beautiful, I would love you no matter how you aged, but I love how hard you work to look good. Sometimes I see us together and I wonder how I got so lucky to get this fucking hot piece of ass in my bed. I love how other men look at you. It makes me feel powerful for them to know I’m taking you home, not them. That it’s my cock you want, that I’ll fill you with my cum, over and over.”

“Fuuuck yes” Lisa groand, “I’m coming on that big cock. Fuck me! Fuck!” she shouted. “Do it, let me feel it, fill me up, fuck!”

Bill groaned and grunted as he pushed deep and ejaculated in her pulsating vagina.

After Bill finished, Lisa kept her arms and legs around him, which is what she used to do back when they first became lovers. They shared a deep and lengthy kiss. Then, after a couple more minutes of holding Bill, she released him and he rolled over next to her.

Lisa smiled and said to Bill, “I’m such a compliment slut. Just a few little white lies about how hot I am, and I’m a babbling, coming mess.”

Bill rose up over her and said, “Look at me.”

Lisa was shocked by the sudden pain as Bill grabbed her breast, roughly, and squeezed her nipple.

She looked at him, saw that he seemed pretty angry, and blurted out, “Jesus, Bill, what?”

There was a rare sternness in his voice as he asked, “What did you call me?”

Lisa was a little cock drunk so it took her a second to catch on. “I’m sorry Daddy, did I displease you in some way?”

“Yes, you fucking said that I was lying to you about how hot you are. Do you think I’m a liar?”

“Daddy, you are the most honest man I know. I’m very sorry that I called you a liar. It won’t happen again.”

“So, baby, are you a fucking hot piece of ass?”

“Yes, Daddy”

“Yes Daddy what?”

“Yes, Daddy, I am a fucking hot piece of ass that’s all yours to put your cock wherever you want and fill me up with your delicious cum. Daddy, I love your cum so much that I want to see if a drop or two is still in your beautiful cock. May I please, please clean you off.”

“Yes you may.”

Lisa moved between Bill’s legs and saw that he was still semi erect. And, he was a mess. She licked his balls, tasting the combination of her wetness and his cum, and engulfed his cock with her mouth, using her tongue to stimulate his head. She felt him start to harden. Bill grabbed her hair and pulled her off his cock.

“I didn’t say I wanted you to blow me, I said to clean it off. But I guess you’re such a cock hungry slut that you can’t control yourself.”

Lisa moved up the bed, snuggled in next to Bill and said, “I sure doesn’t seem like you’re going to have a problem letting your beast out.”

“Lisa, baby, you have no idea.”

After holding and stroking each other a little longer, and cleaning up, Bill finished his work on the bikes as Lisa watched. When it was time for her to buy a new bike a few years back, Lisa had suppressed her natural instinct to buy a road bike that she could use to put down some serious miles. Instead, she’d bought a hybrid that was better suited for leisurely rides. She had hoped that Bill would express some interest in riding, and when he didn’t, she had purchased him a bike for his birthday. It was one of the rare times where she did something like that, and she was pretty disappointed when their rides petered out after a few, in her opinion, nice experiences.

As Bill was working, he looked up every so often and took in Lisa’s appearance. She was wearing a tiny sports bra with sexy criss-cross straps across her back, and a pair of tight, tiny shorts. In Lisa’s opinion, they fit perfectly, because they came up to just below her belly button, so her new piercing was on display.

When Bill had seen what she was going to wear, he said, “Maybe I should go bike riding more often.”

Lisa glowed under his gaze. She always had been a bit of an attention slut, but the last few days had really brought it out. She had felt some trepidation at running into any of her acquaintances on the trail because of her clothes, but after she saw how Bill looked at her, she put her worries in what Shawna would call her “fuck it bucket.”

As they climbed on their bikes, Bill said, “I do want to keep riding with you Lisa, but you just have to take it a bit easy on me the first few times. I’m kind of ashamed of the shape I’m in, and last time we rode, it was hard to keep up.”

“Bill, thanks for telling me. I love riding with you, and I’ll go at any pace you find comfortable. Where do you want to go? Please be in charge of this ride, so I can learn what you like.”

“I always enjoy the river trail.”

“So do I. Lead the way.”

“No, you lead the way. I want to enjoy the view.”

Bill’s remarks had Lisa a tiny bit wet. When she was younger, she had been wet almost all the time around Bill. She had to wear panty liners regularly when they first started dating. Maybe it was the estrogen causing it this time, but she thought it might be just what seemed to be a very late sexual re-awakening. Anyway, she rationalized, the good thing about riding a bike is that people will think wetness in that area is just sweat.

They had a nice ride on the river trail. Lisa kept a slow pace and regularly checked on Bill to make sure he wasn’t huffing and puffing.

At one of their rest stops, Lisa was surprised to see Terry, her mousy teller, ride by with a young man Lisa didn’t recognize. Terry seemed a little flustered when she saw Lisa wave, but she and her friend stopped and turned around to talk with Lisa and Bill. Lisa was, frankly, shocked at what she saw. First, Terry had no makeup on, and her hair was just in a simple ponytail, but the slight flush of exercise made her look gorgeous. And her body, my God, Lisa thought. She hides that? Terry had a classic hourglass figure with a flat stomach, generous at least C cup breasts in a sports bra similar to Lisa’s, and a firm, proportional ass in yoga pants. Was that a tattoo peeking out from her hip? And — what the hell? — she had a sexy crystal piece of jewelry hanging off her navel piercing.

Her male companion, Andy, was a shaggy haired, seemingly shy young man, but he had nice firm muscles and a handsome face. After they exchanged pleasantries for a couple of minutes and the young couple rode off, Lisa turned to Bill, who laughed at the frank expression of astonishment on Lisa’s face.

“Holy shit,” Bill said, “That was Terry? The one you say wears potato sacks to work and does her makeup with finger paint? She’s a knockout.”

“I’m every bit as surprised as you, Bill. I’ve never known a woman who has subtracted so much from her appearance with her work wardrobe and makeup. But look at her today — she’s the prettiest twenty-something on the trail. She’s a dark horse, that’s for sure.”

Lisa and Bill decided to turn around and ride to the new healthy buffet, where each chose a bowl with lots of vegetables. They had a nice conversation, and then rode home. After cleanup and a short nap, Lisa prepared a light dinner from what they had in the fridge, while Bill caught up with some work. As they ate, she said, “When we talked today, you said you had a couple of questions. I think you asked me one before I took over the conversation. Do you have some more to ask?”

“Yeah, I think I do. Maybe we should clean up and sit down in the living room.”

When they were settled, Bill said, “We’re doing full honesty, and I trust you and I think I can forgive almost anything, so keep that in mind when I ask, did you or are you having an affair?”

Lisa was taken aback by his question and spit out, “No, absolutely not, never, not even close. Why would you think that?”

“Easy babe, I’m sorry, but when your hot sexy wife suddenly has a massive spike in libido and pulls out some brand new sex techniques, I think it’s kind of normal for a husband to wonder where they came from.”

“Bill, just sit right there for a minute. I’ll be right back.” She stomped into her daughter’s old bedroom, the hem of her robe flapping in her breeze, retrieved her dildo, and stomped back. She threw the dildo in Bill’s lap.

“That’s as close to any other cock that I’ve ever gotten since we first got together, Bill. I bought that thing to practice so I could suck your cock without hurting you with my teeth. It’s a soft material that will show marks. I watched some of the porn that you like and practiced with that thing, which as you can see is almost exactly your size, so I wouldn’t feel like a dumb teenager the first time I took you in my mouth. You know I’ve never had much of a gag reflex, so it came pretty easily for me.”

Lisa relented a bit when she saw Bill’s expression and heard the pain in his voice as he said, “Lisa, I’m really sorry. This has all hit me so fast that I had some feelings that were hard for me to deal with. You know my history, it’s no excuse, but it might be a bit of an explanation.”

Bill’s mom had cheated on Bill’s dad years ago, and left the marriage shortly after Bill and Lisa had gotten together. He was now remarried to a woman Lisa really liked, and he was a solid, wonderful man, like his son.

“Bill, I never even thought of that,” Lisa said quietly, “If you’re seeing some similarities with your Mom’s behavior, I think you might be onto something. I kind of hid this whole thing from you, so that’s a bit like the sneaking around that accompanies an affair. There are some things I haven’t told you about, that I should have shared earlier. Do you mind coming into the bedroom while I grab what I want to show you?”

“No, that’s fine, and I do apologize. You’ve given me no real reason to suspect your loyalty. It’s just old shit getting stirred up.”

Lisa made a stop in the other bedroom to return her dildo and grabbed what she wanted to show Bill. He was sitting on their bed in the master bedroom when she entered.

“The reason I wanted to come here is because if this ends the way I think it will, we might do something that I’m not comfortable doing yet in other rooms of the house.”

“Okaay,” Bill said. Lisa could tell she clearly had his interest.

“The first thing I want to show you is this tube of estrogen cream. I asked Dr. Armbruster about the dryness I’ve been experiencing, and she suggested this as a solution. My mom took estrogen tablets for years and she had no ill effects, so I figured it was even safer. Dr. Arbruster warned me not to get any inside my anus, because it would be absorbed more like a pill than like a topical cream. There are two things wrong with what I did. First, I didn’t tell you about a medical treatment I received. As we get older, we’re going to have health issues. We need to share them with the other person, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Lisa, that’s fine, you’re showing me now.”

“Shh, Daddy, I’m not done.” Lisa looked downcast. “The first time I used it, the very first fucking time, I took this finger, covered it in cream, and shoved it up my needy ass. And, I was planning to do it again tonight, and once every week after. I am so vain that I wanted to feel how I did before menopause, and I might have endangered my health because of it. So I think the only thing we can do, because I can’t handle this, is to have you apply and keep custody of the tube.”

“OK, baby, I think I can do that, but we can talk about it a little more in a minute.”

“The second thing is much worse.” She pulled out the Sex Machine vape. “Someone I trust very much gave me this, which is a cannabis vape that was purchased at a legal dispensary in Denver. It is perfectly safe, but it is an illegal drug in this state. I kept this in our house. Friday night and Saturday night, I used this vape without telling you. Friday I did it right before we had oral sex. Saturday I did it before dinner. I did it because I found that it really excites me sexually, that it takes away some inhibitions, and that it relaxes me in very important places, like my throat and my ass. But I know it was wrong to have it in the house without telling you.”

“Daddy, I’ve been very bad. I just hope that you’ll be merciful in punishing me.”

As Lisa finished her little speech, she felt that she had laid it on a little too thick. She wondered if Bill would go along with the playful part of her whole little “I’ve been a bad girl” schtick.

Bill looked at her and said, “Give me that fucking thing, and give me your robe.” Lisa took off her robe and stood naked in front of Bill. “Go cover up your piercing and then bring me my widest leather belt from my closet.”

Hearing that, Lisa’s brain said “Oh Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?” at the same time her cunt went “sploosh”. She walked into the bathroom, covered her piercing with gauze and first aid tape, and then pulled the belt out of Bill’s closet.

She handed it to him and said, “Daddy, I deserve whatever you give me, but I only ask that you show me some mercy since this is the first time I’ve been punished, and I’m not used to it.”

Bill ignored her and said, “Hold out your hands in front of you.” He tied them with the belt from her robe. She was trembling a bit, but Bill kept his stern expression.

“Turn around and bend over the bed, with your hands out over your head.”

Lisa quickly complied.

“Spread your legs.”

Again, she complied, and shivered a little as a feeling of extreme vulnerability washed over her.

The first hit from the belt was a shock and she screamed, more from surprise than pain, though it was by no means a mild strike.

“Why am I spanking you, baby?’ Bill asked.

“Because I misused my medication and took an illegal drug,” Lisa said, knowing this was the wrong response, but wanting to see what Bill would do.

The next strike was much harder than the first, and the sound that escaped Lisa’s lips was something between a human and animal groan.

“No, try again,” Bill said in a stern voice that seemed to have a direct connection to her clit and nipples.

Not willing to chance an even harder hit, Lisa said “Because I hid those things from you. Our lives won’t be any good unless we are both honest with each other, and hiding them endangered our bond of trust.”

“Absolutely right, but I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson. Plus, you flipped out and were very rude to me after saying I could ask you anything. Since this is your first punishment, I’ll be merciful and limit it to five strokes. Count them as I give them to you.”

Jesus, Lisa thought, maybe this was a mistake. But she didn’t have more time to consider it because the first blow fell, not as hard as the last, but still enough to sting.

“Ughhh, One” Slap! “Twoooo” Slap! “Ah Three Shit Fuck” Slap! “Four fuuuuck” Slap! “Argh Five”.

Bill dropped the belt as Lisa lay trembling on the bed. “You were really bad but you took your punishment so well. Would you like me to kiss it and make it better?”