A Chance for Redemption - Cover

A Chance for Redemption

by CJ McCormick

Copyright© 2021 by CJ McCormick

Romantic Sex Story: If you could change the past, would you? A man that's made all the wrong choices gets a chance to fix his mistakes.

Caution: This Romantic Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Consensual   Romantic   Heterosexual   Tear Jerker   DoOver   .

There’s something about working on Sundays that always drove me nuts.

It might have been because it was part of the traditional weekend, but since I was off two days during the week, that didn’t really bother me so much. I was used to working odd hours at the dealership so having a non-traditional working schedule was like second nature to me.

The worst part about working on Sundays was the people. You see, I’m the second-best salesman at the car dealership that I’ve worked at for the last few years. I say second-best because Harry Martin is fifty-five, has thirty years of experience, and could sell sex to a nun with that smooth voice of his and that slick mane of silver hair. I’m not above acknowledging my faults so that puts me firmly in second.

It wasn’t my first choice of career either. I’d much rather be working for one of the large automakers on design but I didn’t have the schooling for it. It didn’t mean I didn’t try back in college, but I just didn’t have the aptitude or the patience for that career path, which meant I was stuck in sales for the foreseeable future, dealing with people like Ms. Franklin.

There’s no Mr. Franklin which is probably why Ms. Franklin is so aggravating. She’s one of the most indecisive people I’ve ever met, never committing to a basic car model (let alone manufacturer) for the two hours of mine that she wasted today. To add insult to injury, her two brats tore up the kid’s room at the dealership and scratched up one of the display cars. My boss was less than pleased about that one, especially when she walked off the lot empty-handed.

My day seemed to be filled with many Ms. Franklins, and that’s why I left work in a foul mood. Even though it was already one week into the new month, I was already lagging behind on my sales. Without some decent commission this month, there was no way I could continue to afford my apartment. I probably should have stopped wasting my money on frivolous things (who honestly needs an actual bearskin rug?) but at the very least, I would have to watch my finances until my luck picked up.

One thing I refused to give up was my ‘85 Camaro. She was candy apple red, and I bet that back in the day, she used to pull some serious ass. I was still waiting on her to pull some for me but it didn’t mean I didn’t treat that car like a newborn baby. It was worth the expense when very little else in my life was.

The truth was if you told me that this would be my life around the age thirty, I would have offed myself back in grade school. You never expect your life to turn out a certain way, and I sure as shit didn’t expect to be a car salesman with a history of bad decisions.

I arrived back at my apartment around seven that night and found a stack of bills right next to the counter. Several of them were past due, and one final notice had a deadline for today, November 8th. I ignored it for the moment and stepped into the kitchen. As soon as I did, I heard my phone begin to buzz.

I groaned when I saw the name on the screen and hit ignore. The phone dinged two minutes later while I searched the pantry for something to eat, the signal of a new voicemail. On a whim, I hit play and put it on speaker.

“Derek, it’s Nicole. You can’t ignore me forever. Listen, can we just talk? You have no idea what it would mean to Nathan if we—”

I scoffed and deleted it. She was always barking up that tree, and I was tired of clinging to the branch. As far as I was concerned, Nicole was just a thing of the past, ancient history that begged to be forgotten even if my shame would never let it get to that point.

I shook my head and opened the refrigerator only to see two bottles of water and about five packets of ketchup. Knowing it would be cheaper to eat in, I also knew my roaring stomach had to be cured soon. I didn’t bother to take off my dealership polo shirt, but I did stop in the bathroom to give myself the once-over before I left.

I was glad to see I still hadn’t become ugly but perhaps if I had, it would have been easier to explain my lack of dating options. I had short dark hair that was a little longer than usual right now, showing my need for a haircut. My ears always stuck out just a tad too far, something my mother always said gave my face character—whatever that means. I had blue eyes and a straight nose, and I always kept my face clean-shaven just out of habit.

These days, I didn’t eat much because of the long hours I worked so I was in reasonably good condition. I wouldn’t be lining up to run any marathons anytime soon, but I always thought I looked decent without a shirt on. I figured I’d worked hard enough today to load up on something unhealthy, and for that reason, I hopped back into my car only twenty minutes after arriving home to stop at the nearest fast food place for a squished cheeseburger and some oversalted fries.

Thankfully it was late enough that I didn’t have to wait long in line. I got my food from the drive-through and parked inside the lot to scarf it down quickly. I was sated for now but I knew the cheap food wouldn’t keep me full for long.

The drive back home was uneventful until I was about five minutes from my apartment. You see, the area that I lived in was fairly urban in the surroundings. Shops and big box stores lined every street and there were sidewalks on either side. Every stoplight meant waiting for people to cross in front of you before the light would turn green again. It was just a fact of life in this city that you had to mind the pedestrian traffic every time you got behind the wheel.

I can honestly say what happened next was not my fault. In fact, I did everything I could to avoid it. But when you’re cruising along with a green light at forty miles an hour (under the speed limit, I might add), it doesn’t give you a lot of time to react to quick movements right next to the road.

In my unlucky case, that quick movement happened to be an old lady and her grandson who picked that exact moment to try to cross the sidewalk about thirty yards in front of my bumper. They realized their mistake but it was too late. They remained rooted to the ground in fear as my headlights reflected off their eyes. My life never flashed before my eyes or anything like that, but instinct took over for the rational brain as I swerved to miss them.

The good thing was that I missed them by a hair. There might have been an inch or two between my fender and the old lady’s cane but they were safe.

The bad thing was the swerve put me right on course with a low-lying brick wall. Those final seconds could have been minutes. All I remembered before extreme darkness was that spark of an explosion as three thousand pounds of American muscle hit those bricks at full speed.

Right before the end, it didn’t seem like that bad of a way to go.


The first thing I heard was the dull sound of beeping. It wasn’t frequent beeping but rather the type that almost seems to die off completely before it startles you when you hear it again. I still couldn’t see a damn thing and part of me wondered if I was truly dead and this was some form of afterlife. I could hear what sounded like moaning in the vaguest sense of word so I figured I’d ended up in hell after the kind of life that I lived.

Consciousness was something that was fleeting and fragile in that time. I’m still not sure what exactly happened, but I got the impression I was in a hospital after enough time. My eyes still refused to open, but surprisingly, my sense of smell was able to pick up that sterile scent that pervades every hospital.

At one point, I remember the beeping getting more frantic than usual, and I got the sense that my room was filling up with people. I managed to crack my eyes for a moment to see several heads looking down at me in rapid animation but then the world faded to black as an astonishing pain took me.

This was it. I was truly going to die.


It was hard for me to pinpoint exactly when consciousness appeared again. When it did, I found myself not in my hospital bed but standing right beside it. I looked around on a whim, noting many of the surroundings of the room that I hadn’t yet seen with my own eyes. At that point, I was still positive that I was in some kind of coma or perhaps even a dream, so I looked down at my hands and extended my fingers several times. They responded like they should, a sure sign that this wasn’t just in my head.

“You’re not dreaming if that’s what you’re thinking,” came a voice from the other side of the room. That same voice then chuckled. “Although you might wish you were after you talk with me.”

I whipped around in the direction of the voice, expecting to see some nurse or orderly but I found nothing of the sort. Instead, I found a man sitting in the chair on the other side of the room that faced my bed. The man was leafing through People magazine and chuckling to himself while he did it.

“You humans and the shit that you get up to, I swear,” said the man with another soft laugh. “It makes watching you all the more entertaining.”

“Who are you?” I asked, finding the words springing easily from my tongue. “Are you a doctor?”

“No,” said the man as he shut the magazine and sprung from the chair. “I’m more important than that.”

Here we go, I thought. Probably some self-important hospital administrator who thinks he knows everything.

I looked back down at the bed and finally noted that someone was on top of it. The person was in bad shape. I guessed from the casts around the legs that both of them were broken. There was a bandage that wrapped around the man’s chest and at least five or six wires that were hooked to him in some fashion. He looked like he’d been through the ringer although from his angle, I couldn’t quite see his face to make out who he was.

“What happened to him?” I asked, gesturing to the slow-breathing body.

The man looked over at me. “You’re lucky to still be amongst the living, do you know that? Hitting a brick wall at forty miles an hour generally isn’t a great thing to do if you want to stay alive. Although at least that lady and her grandson walked away without a scratch. You should be commended for that, Derek.”

I snapped my head to look over at him. “How do you know that? And how do you know my name?”

He grinned and gestured to the body on the bed. “I told you already, brother. I’m a pretty important guy. The things that I know would blow your mind. Although from the looks of it, your body has suffered enough blows lately.”

At this point, I panicked. I raced around to the other side of the bed and gawked at the man on top of it.

It was me.

Despite the bandages and the bruising, I would recognize my own face before that of anyone else. A good portion of my face was black and blue but that was definitely my nose and my hair. I whipped my head back to the man and then back to the bed.

“What ... how ... I mean, what’s going on?”

“Totally wicked, right?” asked the man with a grin. “Everyone has the same reaction at this point, I might add. To that point, you’re probably going to ask me if you’re still dre—”

“No, I got it,” I said, interrupting the man as I snapped my fingers. “I’m just dreaming. This is just a dream and this isn’t real. That’s the explanation here.”

The man smiled knowingly and stood up. “I can assure you that you’re not dreaming although the world we’re in right now isn’t the reality that you know it. We’re in an in-between world, just on the other side of the veil that separates the mortal from the ... immortal.”

I shook my head quickly. “I’m not dreaming? Am I ... dead?”

“Not yet, brother,” said the man with a shrug. “But you’re at the door and you’re about to step through it. What you do next will determine if you die or not.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was certain I wasn’t dreaming but something about this just seemed too fantastical to believe outright. I felt like my brain was playing a trick on me, and I didn’t like the feeling one bit.

The man didn’t miss a beat. He soon clapped his hands together. “You’re probably feeling skeptical now and wanting some kind of demonstration of my words, hmm? You humans are so predictable.”

I nodded. “I still don’t know what this is but show me proof that I’m not dreaming. That your words are what they say they are.”

“I’m glad you asked,” said the man as he snapped his fingers.

At that moment, a nurse entered the room, seemingly intent on checking my vitals as my body laid in bed. She gave no thought or acknowledgment to me as I stood over the bed, nor did she acknowledge the other man. In fact, it quite looked like she couldn’t see us.

“Hello?” I asked her, wondering why she hadn’t addressed me yet.

The nurse didn’t respond in any way.

“Can you hear me?” I asked, cupping my hands around my mouth.

“She can’t,” said the man. “As I said, we’re in an in-between world right now. This world doesn’t have any interaction with the living world.”

I began to do jumping jacks as I waved my hands in front of her face. “Hello! I’m right here!”

The man just rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you need a more concrete demonstration.”

With those words, he stepped to the other side of the room and stopped right beside the nurse as she wrote in the chart by the bed. Without any warning or fanfare, he promptly stepped right through the nurse, emerging on the other side.

I jumped back from the bed as my eyes went wide. “What the fuck! You just ... and she just...”

The man chuckled. “Your kind always enjoys that trick at first. Try it yourself. It’ll work for you too.”

“You just walked right through her! What the hell are you?” I demanded. “What the fuck kind of drugs did they give me?”

“I can assure you that all is completely normal in this world,” said the man as he walked to the other side of the bed. “But to answer your question, I happen to be an angel.”

My sense of wonder turned to shit in about two seconds flat. I crossed my arms in front of my body. “Oh, right, I should’ve guessed. An angel, you say? How silly of me for not recognizing that fact earlier.”

He gave me a stern look as he came to a stop right beside me. From this angle, he looked a lot more imposing than he was before.

“Do you require another demonstration?” asked the man with a raised eyebrow.

I was almost scared to ask what kind of demonstration he would give me this time. After all, he didn’t look like any angel I’ve ever seen. Angels wore pure white garments, had halos and wings, and most definitely didn’t swear as often as this guy did.

He looked like he belonged on the floor of the stock market more than anything. His blond hair was nearly perfect, waxed back and wavy like the models you’d see in a fitness magazine. His jaw was square and chiseled and his eyes were piercing blue. He wore a three-piece suit with a deep-blue tie that matched his eyes. Since he was the furthest sight from an angel that I expected, I wasn’t sure how he would prove his words to me. My mouth was dry at this point, so I just nodded in agreement.

Within an instant, the air around the man shuddered. I jumped back at the sudden airburst around him as a brilliant pair of wings sprung forth from his back and spread out around the room. The wings were so large that they touched the walls on either side of the room. They were off-white in color with a material that wasn’t exactly feathers but appeared to be at my distance. I was too frightened to try to touch them. At this point, the man crossed his arms and looked at me with a knowing smile.

“Satisfied?” he asked.

My legs promptly lost their strength, and I stumbled backward into the chair he’d been sitting in originally. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“You’ll be all right,” said the man with a chuckle. “You can’t get sick in this world. It comes in handy when you drink as much as I do. No hangovers.”

I put my hand on my face. “Wait a minute. So if you’re really an angel—”

“I am,” he said, interrupting me.

“And I’m not really dead, is this some kind of purgatory? Is that why the nurse couldn’t see us?”

“Kind of, but not quite,” said the man. “What this world is doesn’t really need to concern you right now, brother. But who I am does. You can call me Barry.” He extended his hand for me which I looked at in suspicion.

“I’ve never heard of an angel named Barry,” I replied.

“Maybe if you went to church more often, you might have heard of me,” he quipped. “But Barry is short for Barachiel. I find that Barry is more well-received than my more formal name.”

“Barachiel? I’ve never heard that name before either,” I said before taking a cautious step back. “You’re not the angel of death, are you?”

Barry laughed. “Not even close. Him and I don’t exactly get along too well. Long-standing feud over a small debt of money a long time ago. He’s too stingy about it that we haven’t seen eye to eye since. Believe it or not, I’m actually a guardian angel.”

“A guardian angel?” I repeated, only finally reaching forward to shake his hand. I started to chuckle and pointed to the bed. “You’re a little late. I could have used you a while back.”

“I can assure you if it weren’t for me, you’d already be dead,” said Barry, shaking my hand firmly. “It was only my timely intervention that saved your ass from becoming an obituary.”

“Saved my ass?” I asked. “Aren’t angels supposed to be goody-goodies? What’s with all the swearing?”

“Yeah, not so much anymore,” said Barry with a chuckle. “We generally find that if we adapt our speaking and manners to the current century, we’re more well-received. You wouldn’t want to speak to me if I talked all proper and archaic like we used to do around the middle ages.”

“Probably not,” I agreed before looking back at my body on the hospital bed. “Barry, my head is still feeling a little funny, and I’m not sure what to make of all of this. I might come to regret this but can you tell me why you’re here? What exactly is going on?”

“I’m glad you asked,” said Barry as he snapped his fingers. Suddenly, the hospital room completely melted away, and the next thing I knew, we were standing outside in the middle of an intersection. I recognized my surroundings right away.

“Shit, this is where I crashed,” I said, looking for that low-lying brick wall. I found it instantly, and I saw the remains of my Camaro completely smashed against it.

“This is the scene of your accident about a minute after you crashed,” said Barry as he gestured to the car. “If I were you, I’d highly recommend not looking inside the car. Most people faint when they see their mangled bodies after this kind of event.”

“I’ll take your word for that,” I replied. I had always been slightly squeamish and even the smallest drop of blood could make me uncomfortable. I wasn’t anywhere near ready to see what I looked like post-crash.

Barry pivoted and looked across the street. “The old lady appears quite shaken up but she’s lucky to be alive. Her grandson too.”

I looked to where he was pointing and saw the woman sitting against the curb while she clung to her young grandson. There was a small crowd of people around them, with several of them undoubtedly having witnessed the event.

“So here’s the reason why I’m here,” said Barry finally. “Your last act in this world was one of self-sacrifice. You risked your life to save the lives of two people you didn’t even know, and you suffered the ultimate consequences for it.”

I swallowed heavily. “You mean ... death?”

Barry nodded. “If I hadn’t intervened, you would have died. But since I’m a guardian angel, I have certain abilities. One is being able to stop death. The other more useful talent I have is the ability to go back in time. To redo certain events in your own life.”

“A redo?” I repeated. “How does that work?”

“It’s simple,” he explained. “Because you sacrificed your own life to save these two, I’m going to give you the chance to go back and redo some critical moments in your own life. Five critical moments if you must know because your kind always asks. You see, Derek, your life can all be boiled down to a series of decisions. Those decisions, for better or worse, decide the course your life is going to take. Some are small and seemingly inconsequential, but they have ramifications that will last as long as you draw breath. And you, Derek, have a habit of making a lot of bad decisions. There is more to you than what you have become.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. My ego was quick to form a retort, and I was about to launch into an angry reply about how I was happy with the choices I’d made in life. My conscience on the other hand knew that those words would be total bullshit. The fact of the matter was that I knew I’d made some shitty choices in life. My current lot was the result of too many bad choices, and my life was decidedly unhappy because of it.

Maybe Barry had a point after all.

“All right, I’m listening,” I said. “So I get to go back in time and redo five critical moments you say. Who decides the moments?”

“I do,” replied Barry. “I won’t have you wasting my gift on stupid choices like whether or not to attend that Nickelback concert back in middle school.” Barry recoiled in disgust. “Seriously, Derek, what were you thinking?”

“What? They were good at the time!” I argued.

“They were never good,” said Barry with a raised eyebrow. “But in any event, I’ll decide the moments. Trust me, it’s just easier that way.”

“Okay, so you decide the moments and I go back and redo them,” I said. “What happens if I make the wrong decision?”

Barry shrugged. “Then your journey ends there and you go back to the hospital. You’ll have no recollection of ever meeting me and you’ll dismiss any similarity to a trick of a mind.”

“That sounds terrible,” I replied. “So I have to get this right every time or else?”

“Every time,” Barry repeated.

“That’s an awful lot of pressure, don’t you think? I mean what if I just decide not to play your little game? What if I choose to say sayonara to you right now?”

Barry gave me a stern look. “Then you wind up back in your hospital bed where no one will come to see you besides your mother. And then you’ll likely die on your own without being able to take advantage of this incredible gift.”

My palms started to sweat at hearing that one. Again, my ego wanted to argue but my conscience knew he probably had a point.

“You drive a hard bargain,” I said, repeating an often used sales gimmick.

“You’re not the only one that’s trained in sales,” replied Barry with a subtle grin. “I’ve been dealing with your kind for thousands of years. I’ve picked up a few tricks along the way.”

“Thousands of years?” I asked with a heavy gulp. “Just how old are you anyway?”

“Old enough,” he quipped in response. “So I’ve seen a lot of shit. So don’t think you can pull any fast ones on me now, Derek. I’ve seen them all.”

I knew well enough not to push him on this topic. Barry had a look on his face like he wasn’t joking around.

“So what do you say, Derek? Are you in?” Barry extended his hand.

“I suppose I’m in,” I said, taking it tentatively. “What other choice do I have after all?”

“Don’t worry,” said Barry. “I think you’ll find this isn’t as bad as you think. Look on the bright side—you could be dead right now.”

“Aren’t you a cheery one,” I muttered under my breath.

“What was that?” asked Barry with a disapproving look.

“Nothing. So where do we start?” I asked. “What’s the first moment?”

Barry cleared his throat. “For our first moment, I’m going to take you back fourteen years ago. But I have to warn you, you might not like what you see.”

He snapped his fingers and the same airburst that happened when his wings came out happened again. I closed my eyes until it was over but the movement occurred in the space of a heartbeat.

“You can open your eyes now, Derek,” said Barry finally as the air around us settled.

I took one tentative sweep around the room and figured a mistake had been made. We were still in the hospital. I could still smell that same sterile scent, and I could hear the beeping of equipment. It wasn’t until I realized it wasn’t my room that I began to pay more attention.

Especially to the person laying in the hospital bed.

“Dad,” I whispered as I took a tentative step toward him. He looked worse than the last time I saw him, much worse. His hair was gone, replaced by a blackish stubble that covered most of his head. His eyes had a hollow and sunken quality to them. He didn’t look like the same man I remembered at sixteen, that’s for sure.

But all of a sudden, I knew exactly why I was here.

“What happened to your father, Derek?” asked Barry as I felt his presence step beside me.

“Pancreatic cancer,” I croaked. “He died when I was sixteen. It was rather sudden and he declined quickly.”

Barry nodded quietly before turning toward me. “Do you know why I brought you here?”

I couldn’t speak for fear that I might start crying. I nodded instead.

“You never said goodbye to him, did you?” asked Barry.

“I want to go back,” I said angrily as I stepped away from the bed. “This is too much. Is this what you’re going to do to me? Torture me with my deepest regrets?”

“Is that how you perceive this, Derek? Torture?” Barry shook his head. “This is enlightenment. This is the chance to fix the wrongs of the past.”

“By reliving this terrible moment?”

“By fixing this terrible moment,” he corrected. “Why didn’t you go see him before he died?”

“You’re the all-seeing angel! You tell me, asshole,” I said, wiping the tear from my eye.

Barry didn’t respond but I took another step closer to the bed.

“Dad?” I whispered. “Can you hear me?”

“He can’t hear you yet,” said Barry. “Only I can. But it might help for you to come to terms with your reasons for not seeing him before I give you the chance to relive it.”

“You want to see me breakdown? Fine,” I said while wiping my nose again. “I didn’t come see him because he tore our family apart. He was the one that left my mom so he could begin to date another woman. He’s the reason we had to pick who we wanted to live with. My mom was so angry with him for breaking up our family. She said the cancer was a punishment on him for doing so.”

“Your mother can be quite a vindictive person, can’t she?” asked Barry quietly.

I nodded as I blew my nose. “I didn’t know until after he died how much of a hell she made his life. Once he was gone, she took it out on us kids. She was emotionally abusive, and my older sister said she used to smack the shit out of dad when he came home from work late. As I grew older, I couldn’t say I blamed him anymore. I would’ve left her crazy ass too.”

We both turned our attention back to my father. He began to groan as he searched around for a spare bedpan. He found it only seconds before vomiting, emptying the contents of his stomach inside it. I flinched just from watching it.

“I know I should’ve went to see him,” I said through tears. “It kills me to watch him struggle in here alone without his family. I was so angry at the time. I couldn’t think straight because my mother manipulated every thought I had. I thought it was justice not going to see him.” I hung my head in shame. “It’s only later on that I saw it was just foolishness.”

Barry nodded. “Here’s your chance, Derek. I’m going to send you back to say goodbye. Correct the wrongs.” He snapped his finger.

All of a sudden, Barry was gone. The hospital room around me seemed to fill with color again, having lost most of its quantity in the purgatory world we’d just been in. I felt alive again, a sense of self I hadn’t felt since I was last behind the wheel of my car.

My presence was noted for the first time.

“Derek?” asked my father. “Derek, you’re here?”

I had a hard time keeping the tears back as I rushed to his bed. “I’m here, Dad. I’m sorry it took me so long but I’m here.”

My father smiled like it was the best day of his life. There was something innate about seeing a parental smile that made every child crave it. Once rewarded, nothing else seemed as bad in comparison.

“I didn’t know if I would see you before...” He stopped talking, not needing to finish the sentence. We both knew what he meant. “It’s just really great to see you now. I’ve missed you, Derek.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” I replied, thinking of the fourteen long years it had been since his passing. Although to him, it had only been half a year since he moved out. “How are you feeling? Are you all right? Any pain?”

“I’ve been a lot better,” he said before running his fingers across his prickly head. “I miss my hair, that’s for sure. And this chemo is kicking my ass but they say it’s the only option. I don’t know, Derek. If I had known what it was going to be like, I think I would’ve just taken my chances.”

“At least it gives you a fighting chance though, right?” I said. “It’s better than nothing.”

 
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