Chapter 26: Hidden Profit

“Here’s where you have to be very careful, Joey. You don’t want to mess up your non-profit status with the IRS. You can’t reinvest profits in infrastructure when you aren’t supposed to have profits.”

“I’m not! I’m spending this weeks cash receipts on a building project necessary to protect the health of the beneficiaries of my non-profit organization. That’s a legit need! Urgent too. This weeks expenses that ordinarily would come out of that money haven’t even been calculated yet. You see, Dallas, no way is it using profits, not at all.”

“If you could only hear yourself my friend. Expenses that ordinarily would be paid? The weekly expenses are first priority. Promptly paid, and not when and only if ought is left after you’ve impetuously squandered the bulk of your income on improvident extravagance.”

“What extravagance? How dare you accuse me of impetuousness? Shelter is a necessity of life! A priority equal with food, water and air! There’s barely time enough to prepare for the infants arrivals!”

“Your personal priorities are hardly business concerns. Buying real-estate isn’t a legitimate cost of doing business. Paying rent for use of real-estate is. Acquiring ownership is categorized as profitable gain.”

“I trust you know what you’re talking about when it comes to business, Dallas. Better than I. But I’m not foolish! I considered my priorities carefully. Thought and chose wisely. You can disagree, but it was my decision, and I made it. Sorry if that sounded unpalatable.”

“You’ll listen to me, if you know what’s good for you, Joey. Trust me! You’re wrong! Perilously wrong, thinking you can do whatever you want in business. Government regulations already decided for you, what you can do, must do, and mustn’t do. Your powers of decision are reduced to only two strictly limited choices. Voluntary compliance, or risk fine and imprisonment. Enforcement is rigorous. Nix on tricks. You don’t mess with the IRS and expect to win.”

“What do I do now? Am I already fucked? How do I extricate myself from the mess I ignorantly created? Can I beg for an indulgence?”

“Well, we’ll examine the possibilities. Fortunately the only thing you’ve done so far, is place an earnest deposit on four containers. Let’s call them up and see how many more they have remaining.”

“You just gave me an insulting lecture on how stupidity My illegal purchase! Now you ... sometimes our friendship is stretched thin!”

“The purchase of the containers is an economically brilliant idea. Congratulations! Your heart is in the right place. Your head? Just forget it, let’s keep it friendly. You’re intuitive bookkeeping style is... , you’re fortunate hanging isn’t an allowed penalty in IRS court.”

After Dallas exercises his haggling skills over the phone, he grins.

“Counting your four, they have eleven total for sale, and one of which has damaged end doors. I negotiated the lot for ten grand. The damaged one, they tossed in as a bonus. I refused to buy it, they wanted it gone. We’ll discuss a refund of your two grand later. Let’s get hooked to a house trailer frame, and start hauling em home.”

We got four today. The remaining seven is tomorrows project. Over beers at Dalisay’s, Dallas outlines my financial strategy for me. Boils down to the ranch donating the containers as a tax deduction. They aren’t income to the non-profit as a cash donation would be, unless I sell them and convert them to cash.

My two grand earnest money Dallas applies as land rents. Dallas insists on renting me twelve acres adjacent to my original six. He’s also going to donate the materials needed to convert the containers into livable quarters. Additional tax deductions for the ranch, and in addition, he eliminates the eyesore of our tent city. It’s a government attention getter from point of view of the county health department. Dallas heard rumors of commercial campgrounds banding together and mounting a crusade to outlaw, ban, and chase away our tent dwellers. Homeless folk wouldn’t willingly pay fees to camp in RV camps. We aren’t infringing on their market, not so much by a dime. What possible motive do they have to pick on us? Camper image?