Chapter 7

The deer park is part of a country house 5 miles away, in my younger days I’d have walked there and back, and I’m sure we’d be OK doing it today, but Helen was coming for tea, so we wouldn’t be able to do it in time, hence the car.

“I was thinking yesterday,” I said as I wound the car round the country lanes, “the back seats in here, they’re not exactly roomy for humans with legs.”

“I was ok.”

“Kelly didn’t look especially happy when she clambered out, and what if we were going for a long drive somewhere. So, I was thinking, I need to change the car.”

“I like this car, it sounds great, and it’s super-fast.”

“I’m not looking to get some boring family car you know, so anyway, I was wondering if you’re not working with Helen all week, if you’d like to come car shopping with me one day.”

“Do you even know me? Of course I’ll come car shopping with you. What are you thinking about.”

“Well, I like this style because it’s a bit taller than a regular sports car, handy around country lanes. So, there’s the Porsche Cayenne, which is this car’s bigger brother. The Range Rover Sport, Maseratti have an SUV that’s been widely praised, and if I stretch, I could probably get a Bentley Bentayga.”

“Urgh, the Bentley isn’t as pretty as the Porsche.”

“It doesn’t matter what it looks like outside, a Bentley is like an extremely posh gentlemen’s club, with the plushest seats this side of a Rolls Royce, and it can seriously shift.”

“Ok, I’m sold, I’ll let you look at a Bentley.”

“Why, thank you honey.”

“What do I call you? You know, when we’re around people.”

“I really don’t mind, whatever you’re comfortable with. Lots of kids use their parents first names these days, especially when they’re step-parents. If you’re comfortable calling me dad, then call be dad, otherwise call me Tom, because that’s my name. Just not daddy in public please.”

“Great, I guess when we’re looking for a car, I’ll call you dad, because otherwise it’ll be a bit weird, and I’ll act all stroppy like a proper teenage girl if you pick the wrong colour.”

“Perfect, I want a quivering bottom lip at all times as if I’m deliberately ruining your life by choosing the wrong colour,” I said as I showed my National Trust membership card at the gate.

The road to the car park at this side of the house is heavily rutted, they don’t maintain it well deliberately to stop people driving fast.

“This road is exactly why I chose a 4-wheel drive with proper off-road skills. If you drive down here at this speed in your mum’s car you’d end up with a sore spine and a broken car.”

“Mum loves her Mini though.”

“And so she should, they’re great cars, but not ideal for driving down this particular road.”

“One of the boys at school, his dad has got a Lamborghini SUV, I can’t remember the name, it looks and sounds amazing, bright yellow.”

“Ahh, the Urus, maybe a bit ostentatious for me, but we can have a look, I think it’s around the same price as a Bentley.”

The car park was still a bit muddy after the rains of the week before, so I searched for a space without puddles so Naomi wouldn’t ruin her white trainers, I found one near the end of the row.

“It’s years since I’ve been here,” she cried as she jumped out of the car, “I’m so excited to see the deer, they were really tame last time we came, I managed to walk right up to some and stroke them, then mum’s phone rang and we had to leave.”

“Well that’s not going to happen today, we can stay until they close if you like, I know Helen is coming to the house at 5, but you could phone her, she could meet us here, then we could go out for dinner.”

“Mmm, nice idea, but no, this is daddy and daughter time, just you and me. Later though, I don’t think you’ve got much food in for dinner tonight. I guess I could make something with pasta and sauce from the store cupboard, but there’s nothing fancy for a Sunday meal.”

“We could go out for a meal, there’s that veggie restaurant, I could book us a table.”

“Meh, it was nice, but kind of boring for you and Helen, can’t we go to a carvery, then you can pig out on dead things while I pick at a nut roast and cry into my drink.”

“Oh no, I’m sure they’d have something more exciting than nut roast.”

“I’m just shitting you Tom, if we go to the pub in the village, they have a decent veggie menu, but I’m currently reconsidering my life choices. I had no side effects from eating the chicken last night, so I might have a bit of meat tonight, chicken or fish maybe. I’ve heard that eating red meat straight away after you’ve been veggie can cause you tummy problems, so I’ll stick with white meat for a while.”

“Why have you decided to stop being a veggie?”

“It’s a really long story.”

“We’ve got a few hours, I’m all ears. Besides, you’re also going to tell me about what you’ve decided about your future.”

“Oh yeah, it’s kind of all interlinked anyway.”

Naomi took my hand as we walked through the arched entrance to the park, where I flashed my membership card once more as we passed through the gift shop on our way to the park.

“Hello Mr James, we’ve not seen you for a while,” I turned and saw one of the elderly ladies who act as guides, giving tours of the house and gardens.

“Hello Elsie, how are you today.”

“I’m very well thank you. Who is the lovely young lady.”

Naomi let go of my hand and shook Elsie’s.

“Hello Elsie, I’m Naomi, I’m Tom’s step-daughter, not officially yet, but I live in hope.”

“Nice to meet you Naomi, I hope you enjoy the park.”

“I’m really excited to see the deer, it’s years since I came here with mum. I’ve been pestering Tom to bring me for a few weeks and I’ve finally broken him down.”

“Ho ho, well done. Enjoy yourself, and make sure you visit the restaurant, the soup today is wild mushroom, made with mushrooms from the park and bread made from wheat from our farm.”

“That sounds fantastic, we will definitely be having the soup.”

We left the gift shop and looked at the site map.

“I’m really hungry,” Naomi said, “and I really do like the sound of that soup.”

“The restaurant is on the way to the main part of the park, we may as well go there first then.”

We were greeted by the smell of fresh baked bread, and my stomach started grumbling as we walked through the door, it wasn’t that long since we’d had breakfast in bed, but the smell made me hungry, so we ordered a bowl of soup and bread each, Naomi took a can of Dr Pepper and I ordered a pot of tea, as we walked past the cakes we added a couple of slices of cheesecake to the tray.

Naomi insisted on paying, I protested but she said Kelly had given her money to buy lunch, so I let her pay.

The soup was everything you’d want, rich, warming, slightly lumpy from the roughly chopped mushrooms and onions, and definite hints of a hearty red wine. The bread was warm and thickly buttered. With it being so close to home, it’s worth considering this as a regular stop for lunch.

“So, my future,” Naomi said as she wiped her bowl with a chunk of the bread, “I’ve decided that if she’ll have me, I’ll like to be Helen’s girlfriend, she made me so happy, not just the...” she looked around, nobody was listening, “not just the sex, which was lovely, but just being with her, chatting with her, she was so nice with me, even letting me sleep on her boob. You probably don’t want to hear this, but she has amazing boobs, smaller than mine and mum’s, but they’re so nice, wonderful, sensitive pink nipples.

“Oh sorry, I just said you wouldn’t want to hear that, then told you anyway. So, like I said, we seemed to click as friends, and if you’re right, and she does like me, then I would like to be her girlfriend.

“But ... I would also like to be with you sometimes, if you still want me, but if you want to be a more mainstream family and be exclusive to mum, then I totally understand that. So that’s what I want with the immediate future.

“Then my diet, I said it was kind of linked, and it is. There’s this boy at school, I know I said I’m not interested in any of the boys at school, that’s actually kind of a fib. There is one boy, I really do like him, he’s lovely and sensitive and beautiful, and ... gay. I foolishly decided I could convert him, and relentlessly pursued him for months. I even stopped eating meat to impress him. It didn’t work. Then to hide the fact I’d become a veggie to try to convert a gay boy I stopped eating meat altogether at school, and actually started to enjoy the vegetarian options, the chef at our house makes a really good variety of veggie dishes.”

“So why go back to meat now?”

“Because I love a good burger, but seriously, that’s not important, my love life is far more important. Do you think I’ll be able to...” she looked around again, “ ... you know, can we ... fuck occasionally?”

She looked so lovely just then, her eyes wide with anticipation, wondering whether I still wanted her, now I’d slept with her mother.

“Shall I tell you two things Kelly said to me yesterday and today.”

‘Oh no, she’s going to stop you sleeping with me...”

Naomi started crying, I swapped chairs and sat next to her, cradling her head as I wiped her eyes.

“It’s ok, really, last night she said that she won’t do anal, so if I ever wanted to do anal you would be more than willing.’

Naomi perked up, she looked at me, pure amazement in her eyes, “really, she said that?”

“Yes, she did. Then this morning, while we were making slow, sensual love, she tells me she’s going away for a few days, and that you would ‘entertain me’ while she was away. I don’t know about you, but I think that means what we think it means, but as further confirmation she said she can’t keep me to herself, she has to share me with you, because you loved me first.”

“Oh wow, that’s seriously made my day, my whole year. It’s going to be complicated I guess, but I’m away most of the year, so she’ll have you most of the time.”

“We’ll work something out, if she’s still working she’ll be away like tonight, then you can stay with me.”

“I really want to kiss you dad, but I can’t do that here, can we go somewhere private.”

We left the restaurant, thanking the chef on the way out for the excellent soup, then we walked quickly to a small wooded area, there was nobody about, so we sat on a fallen tree and Naomi hugged me passionately, we kissed, I put my hand down her shorts, cupping her wonderful bum cheek, a manoeuvre that made parting awkward when we heard someone coming. They didn’t react as they walked past, so I don’t think they saw anything.

“Oh my god, I’ve just realised. Shit, this is what you warned me about earlier.”

“What’s the matter sweetie?”

Naomi shook her head, then she seemed to come to a decision and the anguished look turned into a smile.

“Actually, it’s not a problem at all.” She stood and took my hand, helping me to my feet, “come on, let’s go and look at the deer, this will be a very Instagram worthy afternoon.”

My mind was whirring as we walked down the path to the meadows where the deer congregated, something had worried her, then she came up with a plan. What was she thinking?

One way or another, whatever she did would be interesting.

Life wasn’t ever going to be boring from now on.

When we reached the deer meadow there was a small group of red deer emerging from the trees on the other side, Naomi stood totally still, fascinated by the approaching herd, who seemed unfazed by our presence.

“Aren’t they magnificent,” she said in an awed whisper, “just look at his antlers, will he be the boss do you think?”

“I guess so, I can’t claim to be any kind of deer expert I’m afraid.”

“But dads are supposed to know everything, that’s the law.”

“I’m so sorry to be such a let-down.”

We walked slowly forwards, mesmerised by the deer.

“Are deer dangerous do you think?” Naomi said matter-of-factly.

“That’s another of the things I don’t know, but that guy’s antlers don’t look terribly friendly.”

“But they’re not charging,” she said.

“Yet, and I doubt we’ll be able to outrun them if they did.”

“I don’t need to outrun the deer, just outrun you.”

“Thank you very much,” I laughed.

“It’s all about survival of the fittest, Darwin wrote all about it.”

We stopped near the centre of the meadow, the larger deer also stopped, watching us carefully.

“Don’t move, don’t even reach for your phone, because those big buggers are watching us very closely,” I whispered.

Naomi gulped, “I’m a teensy bit concerned right now.”

“I think we’ll be fine once they realise we’re not about to attack them.”

A few of the braver young deer moved slowly forwards, one of them came right up to Naomi and pushed his nose against her leg and gave her a lick.