Chapter 26

On Wednesday we were going to school to collect the girls’ uniforms and give Pixie a full tour, so Tuesday was spent with Joanne, Kelly’s hairdresser.

Kelly and Naomi were in Manchester, so I was left with Pixie, under strict instructions not to let her leave with pink hair.

“OK hun, so I know what I’m aiming for, what’s your natural hair colour?”

“To be honest, I’ve spent so long dyeing my hair, I can’t really remember. I’ve been various shades of pink and red for three years now, before that I was jet black. My eyebrows and pubes are a mousey brown, not proper brunette, and not blonde. I tried blonde once, it really didn’t suit me.”

“Right, so I suppose the question I should have asked is what colour you want to be.”

“And I’m not allowed to say pink...”

“Nope, I’m afraid not, Kelly made me remove all obviously non-natural colours from the shelf, so you can pick any that are left.”

Pixie walked up and down the range of colours available, occasionally stopping and looking closer at a box.

“I like this one.”

“Hahaha, I thought you’d go for one of those shades, it’s a lovely deep red, almost brown, but in the right light there’s hints of purple, so it’s not natural, but it will pass for natural. Excellent.”

“We’ll be hours Tom, now you’ve seen me pick a colour you can go. I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

“Kelly told me to stay with you.”

“Look,” Joanne said, “I’ve got to wash her hair, then condition it, then cut it, then bleach it, possibly twice, then I’ve got to dye it, we’ll be most of the day. Go to the pub, I promise we’re doing this colour and not something garish. I’ll tell you what, take a photo of the box and send it to Kelly, when she replies you’re safe to go.”

“Ok,” I replied reluctantly, and I sent Kelly a photo of the box.

Two minutes later she replied, ‘I knew she’d choose something like that, it’s fine.’

Followed shortly by a message from Naomi simply saying ‘Awesome’ followed by the heart eyes emoji.

“Naomi says awesome” I told Pixie as I left, “phone me when you’re ready.”

My first stop was the library, I dropped off the books I’d borrowed, over the last couple of weeks I’d filled a couple of pads with notes. Over the next few weeks I planned to put the notes into a kind of order.

After catching up with Glanda regarding the works we’d planned I walked over to the Royal.

“I hear Ruth and Mel have done a runner,” George said as he poured a pint of JW Lees MPA.

“Yeah, we went to see Elsie one day last week and found their flat empty.”

“Any idea why?”

“It’s a long story, but it starts with the box you gave Pixie.”

George shouted into the back, then he pulled himself a pint and joined me at a corner table, and I told him what happened after Pixie found her birth certificate.

“I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone before...”

“Ok,” I answered, taking a long pull of my MPA.

“Jenna’s father isn’t her father, I’m Jenna’s father.”

I looked at him disbelievingly, did this whole town have a connection to Pixie?

“Yes, Derek was locked up for a year, her mother, Maggie, worked with me in the Labour Club, and we had a bit of a fling, and we weren’t terribly careful and she fell pregnant with Jenna long before Derek was released, he didn’t take it well and Maggie ended up with a broken arm, but a few of my lads paid Derek a visit and did a little damage to him in turn, and he didn’t touch her again.”

I finished my pint while I let that sink in, George got up to fetch me a top-up and brought my sandwich. I took a bite of my sandwich and a long swallow of the second pint before I spoke.

“So, let me get this straight, you’re Jenna’s father, not Derek, even though Derek is on her birth certificate.”

“Yes, Derek’s named because he couldn’t bear the embarrassment if my name was on there.”

“Her older brother, Paul?”

“Oh he was Derek’s alright.”

“You know what George, you’ve taken a huge weight off my mind.”

“How?”

“Because Pixie’s parents aren’t full brother & sister, Paul is only Jenna’s half brother, the chance of incest related health problems are seriously reduced.”

“I’d not considered that or I’d have told you sooner.”

“It’s fine, and it explains why you were so nice to Jenna and never took advantage of her.”

“Oh shit, I could never do that, it was hard enough watching her parading around the pub with barely nothing on, seeing her the way she was acting, the life she was leading, it was heartbreaking, but if I tried to intervene I’d have risked the wrath of Derek, and that man was terrifying, not just for what he’d do to me, I was scared he’d do something to Jenna and the child.”

“It’s ok George, you acted properly within the constraints you were under. I’m guessing this is our secret, you don’t want Jenna and Pixie to know.”

“It’s fine now, you can tell them, Derek’s not around anymore, he got his comeuppance after a particularly nasty fight. It might even have been Baz’s older brother who finished him off, naturally nobody saw what happened and the police didn’t try too hard solving the crime. So yeah, tell Pixie, she can tell Jenna the next time she visits.”

With that George got up to resume his post behind the bar, I tried to give him £10 for the beer and sandwich, “nah, not today Tom.”

“Why didn’t you keep the money George, there was over six grand in the box.”

“I just couldn’t, lord knows, I could have used the money in the past, but it wasn’t mine, it was Jenna’s, and I thought Pixie would need it far more than I ever did. I was going to wait until she was 18, but circumstances took over, she needs to find out her true identity, not the one Ruth had told her.”

“Thanks George, I’ll let Pixie know when I see her later.”

I left the pub once I’d finished my sandwich and went back home to do some paperwork, but George’s story played on my mind and I couldn’t concentrate, so I picked up my phone and called Kelly.

“Hey Tom, how’s she doing?”

“I’ve no idea, they threw me out, I was messing the place up. Where’s Naomi?”

“She’s in the fitting room trying on some jeans.”

“Great, because I don’t want her to hear this before Pixie.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I’ve just been chatting to George, and another piece of the jigsaw has fallen into place.”

“Oh really, what’s he told you?”

“He’s Jenna’s father.”

“Oh my god! Really? Shit, that explains why he was so nice to her. So why’s he not on her birth certificate.”

I told her George’s story.

“So, how does this affect Pixie?”

“Well, for a start she’s now got one more living relation. And one who’s a lot closer and more accessible than Jenna.”

“And one who’s clearly fond of her, oh, Naomi’s coming back. Are you going to tell Pixie when you pick her up from Joanne’s?”

“Unless you want to.”

“No, you found out, you tell her, got to go.”

Telling Kelly had cleared my head, so I knuckled down and worked through my paperwork; bills, contract renewals, a couple of fan letters, I don’t get too many these days, so I responded to them both, one wanted to know if I had any plans to resume my Tanner series, I decided to give him the world exclusive and told him that I was exploring a few ideas and hoped to have a book in progress in the next few months. I happened to know this reader was active in a few on the online forums, so once he got my reply things would start buzzing, it would apply a bit of pressure on me to get pen to paper.

As I was about to make a fresh coffee Pixie dropped me a message telling me she’d be ready in 20 minutes, so I scrapped the coffee idea, put away my paperwork, popped stamps on all the letters and headed off to collect Pixie, all the while pondering just how to break this new piece of news to a girl who’d already had her assumptions about her life and history steamrollered multiple times in the last couple of weeks, I’m not sure if she could take very much more.

“She’ll be out in a minute,” Joanne said as I stepped into the salon a few minutes later, “she wanted to make a dramatic entrance.”

“Do me a favour Joanne, don’t say out loud how much I owe you, she’s a bit sensitive about how much we’re spending on her.”

“Ok, oh, here she comes.”

I heard footsteps on the stairs at the back of the salon, then Pixie came into view, she gave a quick twirl and her newly darkened hair flew out from her body and settled back down.

“My hair hasn’t felt this nice in years, all the crap I’ve used has made it scratchy and stiff like wire, now it’s all soft and flyaway. Do you like the colour?”

“Honestly, I love it. I expected you to want something lighter, but it looks very nice.”

Pixie stepped closer, so she was under a light.

“Walk around me and see how the colour changes, there’s about six different shades, it’s so cool.”

Indeed, depending on the light we had red, brown and purple shades, and everything in between, it was very clever, and the smile on Pixie’s face made the price worth every penny.

I gave my card to Joanne, “Kelly said she’d pay next time she comes in.”

“It’s ok, I’m paying Pixie’s school bills, and the hair appointment comes under the heading of school necessities.”

“Ahh yes, Pixie’s very excited about her new school, she told me all about it.”

“We’re going for a tour tomorrow, my first visit back there since I was a pupil 20-odd years ago.”

I tapped my PIN into the card terminal, noting the price was perhaps 15x more than I’d ever consider paying for a haircut, but on the other hand, I doubt I’d ever been quite as happy as Pixie looked right now after a visit to the barbers.

“Come on sweetie, let’s go and get you a cake and a coffee.”

There was a nice looking cafe over the road from the salon with tables in the garden, Pixie hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so she ordered a cheese and onion pie and chips, along with a piece of lemon meringue pie, I just ordered coffee.

“Why are we here instead of the pub?” Pixie asked while she waited for her food.

“Ahh, that’s because I need to tell you something before we go back to the Royal.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

“Well, you see, I had a chat with George before.”

“I like George, even before I found out he was nice to mum. He’s a decent, stand-up guy, and there’s not many of those around these days. Except you of course Tom, you’re the nicest man I’ve ever met, if I wasn’t gay I would definitely like a boyfriend like you.”

“Thank you, that means a lot.”

“So, what did George say?”

“Before I start, I’ll say it’s lucky you like him.”

“Really, why’s that.”

“Let me think how to put this, mmm, you know your mum...”

“Yes, Jenna, and Kelly, but you mean Jenna don’t you.”

“I do, now what about Jenna’s parents.”

“Well, I didn’t really know until I saw the birth certificate, Margaret and Derek. Didn’t George say Derek was dead, I’ve no idea about Margaret, Ruth never mentioned them at all.”

“So, here’s the thing, according to George, and I’ve no reason to assume this isn’t the truth, Derek was in prison when Jenna was conceived...”

“Wait, how does that work?”

“It works because Derek isn’t Jenna’s father. Maggie, that’s Jenna’s mum, worked with George, and while Derek was inside she got flirty with George, and one thing led to another, and, well you get the idea.”

“Hang on a minute, so is anything I was told about my past actually true.”

I was quiet for a minute as the waitress brought my coffee and Pixie’s food, then I took a sip of my coffee, urgh, instant, the last time I order a coffee here, and I worked through how to proceed.

“Right, I think it’s safe to assume anything Ruth and Mel told you is either a flat out lie, or at least only partially true.”

“Ok, you’re probably right there.”

“So, we have your birth certificate, which based on what Jenna and George have already told us, is probably correct.”

“Yes, because they told us these things separately, and they tally, so yayyy me, I have a birth certificate.”

“And we have Jenna’s birth certificate which is half correct, we know her mother is Maggie, and her biological father is George, although he’s not listed.”

“There’s something else we now know,” I said.

“What’s that?”

“We know your mother and father were only half brother and sister.”

“What does that mean?”

“Ahh, ok, so you know about why brothers and sisters shouldn’t date?”

“Yes, incest, shallow gene pool. Oh fuck, that’s me, does that mean I’m broken?”

I took hold of Pixie’s hands, bringing them together in mine and spoke as calmly as I could manage, “that’s why it’s important that George is your grandad, but Derek is Paul’s grandad, your parents were only partially related, so the risks are lower.”

Pixie was breathing deeply, trying to calm down, “so there’s still a chance I’m broken.”

“There’s chances anyone could carry a condition they’re unaware of. How’s your health generally?”

“I’m ok, I’ve never really been ill. My lungs aren’t great, but that’s from passive smoking I guess. But, I dunno, I guess I’m healthy.”

“Great, so how’s about we go somewhere there’s nicer coffee while we wait for Kelly and Naomi to come home.”

“I’d like to see George if that’s ok.”

“Well, the Royal is on the way home, so of course we can pop in. We’ll get you some proper food, it doesn’t look like you’re enjoying that pie.”

“The cheese is all stringy, and there’s way too many onions in it. And I think they reheated the chips in the microwave.”

“Maybe we won’t come back here.”

We set off to the pub, Pixie holding my hand, swinging our arms like she was a little girl.

“I feel a little bit more whole; does that even make sense?”

“It does, you have an extra family member.”

“I’ve always liked George, do you think I maybe knew all along?”

“It’s unlikely, but I’m guessing George has always been extra nice to you, right back from the old days, so you’ll have been nice back.”

“Ahh, yes, you’re very wise Tom.”

In the early afternoon the pub was mostly empty, a couple of families using the play area and a few of the old regulars at the bar.

“Back again Tom,” George said as he started pouring a pint of MPA before I’d even spoken, “and who’s the young lady, have you adopted a third daughter?”

“It’s me George,” Pixie said, giving him a twirl, “I’ve had my hair done almost natural”

“Oh wow, I genuinely didn’t recognise you at first.”

“I’m starving, do you have any food left.”

George placed my beer on the bar and a glass of coke for Pixie, “for you, even if the kitchen was empty, I’d find you something. I’ll see what Donna has ready and bring something over.”

I left money on the bar for our drinks and took them outside.

Five minutes later George appeared with a ploughman’s lunch for Pixie, a pork pie and slab of cheddar for me.

“I didn’t come here for food really,” Pixie said, “I wanted to thank you for always being nice to me, and to try out calling you grandad, even if it’s only in secret.”

“You know something, it’s a huge weight off my mind, now you finally know.”

“Tom explained to me why it was a secret, and to be honest, I know next to nothing about my past, Ruth never told me anything, refusing to answer questions, so I stopped asking. Mum was no help most of the time, so I generally avoided bringing up the past during visits.”

She took a bite of cheese and a drink then patted the bench next to her, “sit down and talk to me about my gran. I’d really like to meet her if she’s still around.”

George sat down next to Pixie, “I’ve not seen Maggie since Derek’s funeral, that was, let me see, you were still with Jenna then, so I guess it would be at least 9 years ago.”

“Is she still alive?”

“I imagine so, someone would have told me if she’d passed away. Let me ask around, I’m sure I can find her for you.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

Pixie had another bite of her bread and cheese, then she turned to George, “can you tell me something about Maggie, and Derek, and Jenna, and me really, I have so few memories.”

“I can imagine, the brain has a habit of blocking out a lot of terrible stuff, but it takes nice memories with the bad. Let me go get a drink and make sure the chaps inside are ok, then I’ll tell you some stories.”

As George walked away I leaned forwards, “I told you he’d be able to help you.”

A few minutes later George came back with two pints, a fresh glass of coke and three slices of chocolate cake.

For the next hour George told Pixie stories, about his time working with Maggie while Derek was inside, about how pretty and friendly she was, full of life and good humour whilst her abusive husband was away, stories from later, about Jenna as a child playing with the dogs in the pub and scrounging food off the old men, everybody loved her, about Pixie as a toddler, “you looked so much like Maggie and Jenna, you still do look like Jenna did when she was your age.”