“Oh, Father!” I race to Stang, his magnificent white stallion led by Gilton, Captain of the Army. Father is slumped on his horse. His hands and feet are tied so he doesn’t slide off.

It’s true! It’s really true! It’s as the servants reported to me. My father, King Shagon, is dead. He died in battle.

I burst into uncontrollable tears. Marla wraps her arm around me and pulls me close. At age 17, she became my personal attendant for my entire 16 years of life. My tears soak her blouse. Eventually Parvin tries to pull me away but I shake him off. I will not leave Father. I will mourn right here for as long as I want.

Marla eventually whispers in my ear, “Shenan, you must allow them to continue to prepare for the ceremony.”

I nod. Still wrapped up in Marla’s arms, she escorts me away. Parvin, my personal bodyguard, closely follows.

I return to my room. My eyes are flooded but new tears have stopped.

“Why must he battle?” I ask. “There was no reason to fight Jurno. We lived in peace with them.”

“He is a man,” says Marla, “and he is a king.”

“What does that mean?”

“He must prove himself.”

“By getting himself killed?” I snap.

She bows her head slightly. “That he is mightier man than other men.”

“It proves nothing!” I crack. “It proves how stupid men can be.”

Marla says nothing. She is likely afraid to agree Father was stupid.

“You may leave. I wish to be alone. Return when it’s time for the ceremony.”

“Yes, your majesty.” She bows and backs out of my room.

My mother died when I was young so I never knew her. I am the only heir to Father.

“Oh Father, why did you go and get yourself killed?” I mutter to the walls.

I flop face down on my bed and resume crying.

“Princess Shenan?” comes Marla’s hesitant voice.

“Is it time?”

“Yes, my lady.”

“Very well.”

Marla dresses me in a dress that hasn’t been worn in fifteen years. It is Mother’s dress. It’s beautiful and stunning with lace and sequins accenting the purity of its whiteness. It’s also bulky and heavy. I shall only wear this during only the most special formal events. I will wear my ordinary royal clothes of lavender but now that Father is dead, I will request the seamstresses to make dresses in red for me.

“Thank you, Marla,” I say when she is done.

“Yes, my lady.”

“You can still call me, Shenan.”

“But you will be, you are, Queen.”

“When we are alone you may call me Shenan.” I give a sly smile.

She returns the smile, “Yes, Shenan. I will go get Parvin.”

Marla returns with my bodyguard, a still powerful man at the old age of 45 years. He escorts me to the royal balcony that overlooks the courtyard. Below me is a pyre and I know in the middle is Father’s body. Where Father is now, I don’t know. Will he try to guide me? Will he try to get in the way when my ideas on how to rule this kingdom are so different than his?

“Today...” I speak loudly to the crowd with a quiver in my voice. I start again and my voice gets stronger as I speak. “Today we honor King Shagon, my father, loved by me and his people.” I’m not sure how much his people loved him if at all. “He was a great man and a great warrior and a great king and will live forever in our memories. He is now part of the great kings who have ruled our great land of Vuran. I now as your Queen will see changes and improvements to Vuran so all the people prosper. We will be the greatest kingdom ever.”

I know the people don’t know what to expect. They likely expect the same oppression as Father but I will be different.

“Now send my father, our King Shagon, to enjoy his new kingdom.”

The captain of the army signals his men and they light the pyre. I stay for several minutes in respect then return to my chambers.

Parvin asks, “Shall I have servants transfer your belongings to the Queen’s chamber.”

What? Oh, that’s right. Father’s chamber is now my chamber.

“Yes, Parvin. After Marla helps me get out of this cloth dungeon.”

He smiles then bows. “Yes, my Queen.”

It’s going to take time to get used to hearing that instead of Princess.

I wake up tired. I want to stay in bed and mourn but I must put on a calm face for my people. I am now Queen Shenan of Vuran. I am this land’s leader.

I ring the bell to call a servant. Bondor, who served Father, appears. He is an old man. He is slower but always faithfully accomplishes his task.

“Yes, my Queen,” he bows.

“Tell the stablemaster to prepare my horse. I wish to ride this morning. Alert Parvin.”

“I will tell Aben to prepare Cocoa.”

“No. Stang.”

“Stang?”

“Stang is my horse now.”

“Yes, my lady. I will inform Aben to prepare Stang for your ride.” He backs out in a bow of reverence.

When I was Princess, everyone bowed at times and I didn’t care if they bowed or not. They treated me like a girl but I have learned much in my sixteen years, much more than anyone knows. I am not a girl. I am a young woman who is now Queen. I am not naive enough to think I know everything but I know who can be part of my senior advisors and to seek out others to join my inner circle of leadership. But as to people bowing to me now that I am Queen, I would prefer my relationships with Marla and Parvin not change but I know I must accept their displays of reverence. I just don’t want our friendships to change.

“Your Majesty,” Aben says. “I fear Stang is too much horse for you.” He holds Stang’s rein.

“Nonsense. I am the Queen.”

Parvin finally shows up with four other men. “We only desire your safety.”

“Noted. Who are these men?”

Garog appears hastily. He is an older man and a senior advisor. He is in charge of personal safety to the royal family and so my Parvin reports to him but now that I am Queen everyone ultimately reports to me.

“Safety. You are our supreme ruler now.”

“Well, if you desire my safety then have your men mount up quickly because I will take my horse out.”

I turn and rub Stang’s face. He pulls his head away. I talk soothingly and he settles. It sounds like Garog is grumbling. He will have to get used to new ways of doing things in what is now a queendom.

Stang is an exhilarating horse. Strong and powerful. They do not like when I charge ahead on a faster steed but I only breakaway in the meadows. Patrols makes sure the woods are clear of bandits since there are more places to hide. This excitement allows me to forget Father’s death until I return to my chambers.

I must keep myself busy and I must establish myself as Queen. I send Bondor to tell the royal seamstress that I request ten red dresses worthy of Queen. She doesn’t make them all by herself. She has others who will work on this task.

“It may take time to find enough red material for ten,” Bondor informs.

“She can do with what she has for now and we will make additional cloth.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

I task Parvin to get men to remove the shields and swords from my walls and to get material of white and of pink to drape and to flow and give this room color and vibrancy. As I direct the men on hanging the cloth, I can tell they are annoyed with my precision on placement but I desire it to be a beautiful tapestry on the wall. I want my chamber to say QUEEN. This is my room and not a constant reminder of Father.

“Parvin,” I say, “Pay each man a shagon from my moneys for their assistance to the Queen.”

Parvin is surprised. The men are very happy to receive a coin for their services. I am changing the way things are done around here.

“Marla,” I say to my attendant. “You will move your items into the Queen’s room.”

“My queen,” Marla replies nervously. “Is not that for when you have a husband?”

“I’m not going to have a husband any time soon, if at all. I want you near me.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

“You can still call me Shenan.”

“I...”

“At least when we are alone here. It is okay when Parvin is around. If anyone has a problem with that, I am the Queen.”

“Yes ... Shenan.”

I ring the bell. Tomo, a younger royal servant, appears.

“Assist the Queen’s attendant in moving her belongings into the Queen’s chamber.” I point at the room off my main chamber.

“Yes, my lady.”

When Marla reappears with assisting servants, Gregon, another of Father’s senior advisors comes in with them.

“My Queen,” he starts. “You cannot have your personal assistant occupy that chamber.”

“She is a friend and an advisor.”

“When you marry, your husband will live there.”

“If,” I emphasize the word, “I marry, my husband will share my bed just as you share your bed with your wife. This room has not been used since my mother died. You know Father was injured.” I point between my legs. “ ... and no longer fathered children.” It may have prevented him from fathering but it did not stop him from sexual union with his concubines.

“It is not permitted.”

“Are you telling me what I can or cannot do as your Queen?”

“No, my lady,” he backs down.

“You would never talk this way to King Shagon.”

He bows and leaves the room.

I don’t think the senior advisors like me. That is their problem. I am Queen.

Over the next few days, I continue to take Stang out first thing in the morning and I add more colors to my room or commission new items like a bright colorful blanket for the bed. I use my blanket from my previous room but it only covers a third of the huge bed.

Gilton, Captain of the Army, seeks an audience with me.

I have not spent much time on my throne. It is uncomfortable to sit in. Why can’t we talk around a table like regular people do? I do know I must keep the throne. There will be times I must display that I am Queen.

“Queen Shenan,” Gilton says. He drops to his knees, eyes downcast.

“Stand and speak.”

“I desire to return to battle.”

“Why are we fighting against Jurno?” I request.

“We must vanquish all enemies.”

“They are far away and show no indication of being a threat to Vuran. We have made ourselves a stench to the world by being so eager to wage war.”

“It is for the protection of Vuran.”

“Living in peace provides more protections than kicking beehives.”

“King Shagon thought otherwise.”

“And that is why Father is dead!” Anger rises in my voice. “You may not return to Jurno. You will send a delegation of appeasement of gold, silver, and swords to Jurno. I have already informed the vaultkeeper and the armorer the amount. You will also send a message to recall the army. Who is in charge of the battle during your absence?”

“Garette.” I hear the bristle in his voice

“Have your forgotten respect?”

“Garette, your majesty.”

“No, you may not return to battle. You will seek ways to fortify our defenses from attacking lands. I have some ideas if you need help.”

“No, your majesty. I am able.”

I am sure the thought of receiving military assistance from a woman completely repulses him.

In my chambers a week later, Parvin appears agitated.

“I must tell you something, my Queen.”

“Shenan,” I remind him.

“It must be my Queen right now.”

“Then what is it, Parvin?”

“I have overheard Garog talking to Gregon and other senior advisors. They desire to marry you off to King Luis of Ravina. You will live in Ravina and they will take over the land.”

“Thank you, Parvin for your loyalty and faithfulness.”

“Always, my Queen.”

I notify Father’s senior advisors that I desire a meeting with all six in five days.

“Parvin, I wish to go on an outing.”

He looks at me appalled. “My Queen, it is one thing to dress as a peasant girl as a princess. You are the Queen now.”

“You may dress as a peasant and accompany me as always or you may remain here and hope I am not killed by bandits. It does not involve secretly meeting others like I did as Princess. No one must know I left the castle. Do you wish to protect me or do you want the chance that I run into robbers who may violate me?”

Of course, I could order him to accompany me but I know he will be by my side ever since he discovered three years ago that I was sneaking out of the castle alone.

Dressed as peasants, we travel on foot each with two empty bags and two water skins. It will be a long walk without a horse. No peasant would have a fine steed to ride so I must walk but I did it many times as a princess.

It is a good two hour walk out to the fields and meadows that is my destination. In my journeys, Parvin long ago stopped asking if I need a rest. I am young and youthful and determined to reach my destinations. I did come to the realization that Parvin may need a rest since he is an old man in his 40s so I would ask him in return but he always declined so he follows my lead and rests only when I want to which is only when I arrive where I want to go.

I run across the berries first.

“Put these berries in a bag,” I instruct. “Do not touch your fingers to your mouth. We need to wash our hands with water after.”

I collect the red berries and rinse my hands with water.

“That is enough,” I say.

I travel a little further toward the treeline.

“Let me check first before we proceed,” Parvin says.

I let him as I always do.

He investigates then motions me forward.

I don’t need to go very far into the forest to find what I want.

Mushrooms.

I give the same instructions to Parvin as I gave for the berries.

The one water skin is for washing, the other for drinking.

We begin the long journey back to the castle.

Upon my arrival, Marla comes running out of her chamber, “My Queen! Where have...”

She pauses upon the sight of my peasant clothes that I have begun changing out of.

“Queen Shenan! You cannot take these secret journeys anymore!”

“I had a task to perform that could not be done as Queen.”

“It will be much more tragic for the kingdom if you are killed or worse yet captured.”

“Why is it worse that I am captured than killed? Is my life that worthless?” The last is a tease.

“No, my queen.” She looks down regretful.

“As I told Parvin, I will curtail most of my outings.”

“That is good.”

Marla helps me dress then accompanies me to the kitchen.

When Joanna, the kitchen master, sees me, she starts to drop but I tell her to stand.

“I have a very important task,” I say.

“Yes, my Queen.”

I hand her a bag. “These mushrooms must be ground into a very fine powder. Make sure whoever does it always washes her hands afterward.”

“Yes, my Queen.” She has a curious look on her face.

I hand her the other bag. “These berries must be cooked down so I only have the juice so the fire must not be too hot. That person must always wash her hands afterwards.”

Joanna nods. “May I ask what this is for?”

“It is for a special occasion. It is important that no one tastes the powder or juice or uses it for anything. This belongs to me, Queen Shenan of Vuran. If something happens to it, I will be displeased.”

“Yes, my Queen.” She performs a bow.

I check on the progress the next day.

“My Queen!” Joanna comes running.

“Hello, Joanna. I am here only to see what progress has been made.”

“Much progress, my Queen. I tasked two girls to crush the mushrooms into powder and they are already completed.”

“Let me see.”

Joanna shows me a large bowl with white mushroom powder.

“Excellent, Joanna. Have this locked away. I will request it in four days.”

“Yes, my Queen. The berries are over here.”

I follow to a pot over a small fire. I grab a spoon and stir then pull up. Juice runs off the spoon and berry skin remains.

I nod approval. “Drain the liquid and dispose of the skins. Put the juice into two wine bottles and dispose of the rest. Store the bottles with the powder.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

I am sure Joanna is super curious as this is a most unordinary request.

Later, I have Bondor summon Gilton and meet him in the courtyard. I walk and he follows. I am followed by Parvin and two additional guards. Gilton has a servant following also.

“Have you sent out my delegation?”

“Not yet, Queen. We are still gathering your items.”

“I expect it to be sent by the time I meet with you and my other advisors or I will need to find another man to lead my army.”

“It will be done, Queen Shenan.”

We reach the gate.

“Open,” I tell the guard.

“Where are we going?”

“As my military advisor, I want your advice on Vuran’s protection.”

“Certainly, Queen.”

I notice that Gilton has an inability to say my queen that comes so natural to my subjects.

Outside the castle walls I say, “What do you see?”

He looks out on the royal crop fields and the empty land. “I’m not sure what you mean?”

“I see walls.”

“Walls?”

“Yes, many layers of walls that surround our castle. High enough so a man may not easily climb over. Gates that are in different sections of each wall to confuse attackers. I see the army building these walls so it will be frustrating for enemies and they will wish to leave us alone.”

His face shows unhappiness. “This will also make it more difficult to leave.”

“Yes, so when we meet in four days, I wish to hear your thoughts. If you have a better solution for our protection that does not involve attacking every land near and far, I will want to hear that.”

“Yes, Queen.”

The next two days are uneventful and boring except for an hour I must resolve disputes and I do not like that. I lack wisdom so I am forced to tell each dispute I will think about it. I will discuss this with advisors later so I know what to do in the situations.

Parvin comes to me the next day. “There is something of your father’s that I think you should address.”

“What is that?”

“It is better that I show you.”

Parvin guides me to outside a room. I know which room this is. I never thought about this place since I became Queen and rarely thought about it as Princess. He opens the door and I enter. The room full of girls, many of them naked, scurry toward me and drop to their knees, eyes down.

I forgot about Father’s concubines. Most of the young women are older than me but a couple look my age.

Parvin says, “I do not believe you will be in need of them.”

He is correct. He motions me to exit.

I say to the girls, “You may return to your activities.”

Parvin closes the door.

“You may release them. I have no need for them. Let them return to their families.”

“I am not sure that is best, my Queen. They are not virgins so cannot be married.”

“Why not?” I retort. “There’s no law.”

“I misspoke. No one will want to marry them. To send them away is giving them a life of destitute and poverty.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I don’t know. I just thought this situation should come to your attention. There is no need to make any changes.”

My mind is running and I am thinking about what I would desire in this room instead but I must determine what to do with the girls first.

“They are pretty,” I say. “Would you like one for a wife? Or two?” I smile.

“I am married.’

“You are?” How did I not know that?

“Yes and I have three sons and a daughter though my oldest was killed in battle.”

My anger rises. Another needless war killing our sons.

I have the mushroom powder and bottles of berry juice brought to my meeting room that late afternoon. I am here before my advisors arrives. I also requested seven gold cups. I coat each cup with a layer of mushroom powder. The feast is delivered before the men arrive. I want to surprise them with the meal and that I am already here. I stand behind my chair and wait.

“Queen Shenan,” Gregon exclaims upon entry. He stops and bows.

“Welcome,” I say. “Sit.”

The others arrive soon and each provides me a satisfactory look of confusion that I am already here.

“I do not wish to have servants,” I explain. “Please help yourself.”

The men dig in. I grab a portion for myself.

As the meal settles, I say, “Before we discuss the future of Vuran I wish to make a toast. I have requested a special wine for this situation.”

I place a gold cup in front of each of the six men then grab a bottle. I pour into each cup. It disgusts me that none of these men object to the fact that I, the Queen, is serving them. Do they see me as a bar wench? They are getting what they deserve!

“A toast!” I say, lifting my empty cup. “The future of Vuran starts in this room!”

They heartily drink up. I put my cup down and watch with eager anticipation.

As soon as they return their cups to the table, their faces contort. They grab their throats. They convulse. Bodies shake violently. Ah, how useful was my education with Abner in the apothecary.

They turns their heads and look at me. I smile sweetly back.

“Why?” Garog manages to croak out.

I shriek, “Marry me off, will you? Take over MY kingdom! I am your Queen. You refuse to honor your Queen? I will put in place those who are loyal to me!”

They are slumped onto the table, dead, before I finish my verbal screed. That felt good. Most satisfying.

I pull a bell and servants race in. They look at Father’s advisors in horror.

“Go and find guards to dispose of these men. They are traitors to the Queen. Throw their bodies outside the castle into the dung heap. That is all their spirits are worth ruling.”

“Yes, my Queen!”

Except for a quiet Marla who assists me out of my royal robes, no one desires an audience with me. Marla seems anxious. Her hands tremble. Word of today’s event has gotten out. As I wanted it too.

After Marla dresses me in the morning, I request her to bring Parvin to me.

When Parvin arrives, Marla starts to leave but I tell her to stay. Both look fearful.

I ask Parvin, “What are the people saying about me?”

“They ... they say you are a witch. They are afraid.”

“Do you believe this, Marla?”

“Yes!”

“Parvin?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Why not? I’ve shown my powers.”

He speaks slow, measured. “I think ... a certain ... outing may have something to do with it.”

“You are wise, Parvin. I am in need of new advisors and I appoint you my Captain of the Army.”

“Thank you, my Queen.” He drops to his knees which I never want him to do with me unless around others. “I am an old man. May I request to instead be in charge of the Queen’s protection?”

That would keep Parvin near. I like that idea. “Yes. Stand. We will have a ceremony where I will appoint you as my senior advisor in charge of my protection.”

“Thank you, your highness.” He bows.

“Now I have a request for you.”

“You are the Queen. Say it and I will do it.”

“Send a man to Gladwin and request his presence.”

“Gladwin? Isn’t he the peasant farmer?”

“Yes, he is the farmer I secretly visited frequently.” I am sure he is wondering what the Queen wants with a peasant farmer.

Marla looks shocked. She has been with me forever but there is much she doesn’t know about me.

“I will make it so.”

“One more thing. I need a recommendation for my Captain of the Army. Choose a soldier. I do not believe the leaders will yet be loyal to me after Gilton’s death.”

“I have a thought of such a person. I will find out more.”

“Thank you, Parvin.” I turn. “Thank you, Marla. You both have always been my most trusted advisors.”

They bow and I dismiss them.

That afternoon from my throne, I make Parvin a member of my advisors and in charge of the Queen’s safety.

“My Queen,” Gladwin bows in my chambers the next day.

Parvin is here and so is Marla. I want them here. Parvin is an advisor after all and Marla is a trusted friend and has been an unofficial advisor as I grew up.

“I desire to transform the lands outside the castle into fertile lands to grow the foods needed to supply for all the people of my kingdom.”

“Yes, my Queen. You wish for me to be of assistance?”

“I saw the abundance you produced on your humble lands. I request you to do that for the good of all Vuran. I want no one to go hungry in my kingdom.”

“Thank you, my Queen, but this is too much of a project for me.”

“That is why I wish to make you one of my senior advisors. You will be my Agriculture advisor. You will be in charge of many workers to bring Vuran to abundance. A home will be built outside the castle for your wife and your children so you can oversee the work. I desire you to be my advisor but I will not force you, Gladwin. I am making a request. I will not command you. I value our friendship and everything you taught me as a young girl.”

“I will do it, Queen Shenan. You are always my friend, too.”

“Thank you, Gladwin. Please take a week to get your affairs in order then I will send men to bring your possessions to your new house. I hope to have a Captain of the Army by then as the army will be building additional protective walls around the castle and helping your run your fields. I have less need for war than my Father and those before him.”

“That is wise, Shenan.”

I smile. I’ve always respected his words.

A week later, Parvin presents Starn to me. He is only 25. He is rugged and a well-respected man in my army.

“My Queen.” Starn drops to one knee.

“Rise, Starn.”

“I desire a strong army,” I say, “but I have no need to conquer faraway lands and making enemies of everyone in the world. I want an army that can defeat anyone who desires to conquer us but I want Vuran to be a kingdom known for peace. We will be strong and vanquish all invaders so no one wishes to attack us. We will be friends to all who are friends with us.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

“Parvin believes you are that man to be my Captain of the Army and a valued advisor to me.”

“I am humbled, my Queen.”

I lay out my thoughts and plans. Building my walls and helping with the farming fields will further make the army strong while not neglecting training for real war if it ever came to that. I hope it never will be.

“I will make it so, my Queen.”

Parvin, Gladwin and now Starn, and of course Marla. My own advisors are forming.

I request Starn to provide me an advisor for building the wall since his duties are much and that person became Renec so now I have another advisor.

The new walls once built will be a nuisance as a person leaving will need to travel a half mile to the left to reach a gate, then travel a mile to the right to the next gate, and continue another half mile to the right to reach open land. Renec and Gladwin will need to coordinate so the walls and the fields do not conflict.

Gladwin agrees with me that sending an invitation to the other peasant farmers to join this project is a good idea. It is voluntary but I hope many will become part of this greater good.

Projects begin and so no one gets overwhelmed, I request my advisors to appoint sub-advisors for the agriculture and wall tasks.

It is two months since I became Queen Shenan. Life is becoming normal. Parvin reminds me that I must decide what to do about the concubines. I am lonely lately so I now have an idea.

Plus I will turn 17 soon!

“I have decided what to do with Father’s concubines,” I tell Parvin.

“Yes, my Queen. How may I assist?”

“Let’s go visit.”

We go to the room. It always smells wonderful here with the scent and perfumes. Three girls are in the bath. Other girls are primping and staying lovely even though Father is no longer around to enjoy them. They are all very beautiful.

The girls hurry over to me and drop to their knees with heads bowed.

“Rise,” I command. As the girls obey, I ask, “Who is in charge?”

“I am,” a girl step forward. She looks older but still only in her early 20s. “I am Ada.”

“Please line up the girls unclothed. I wish to inspect them.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Ada quickly puts the girls in a line and any girls dressed quickly undress.

I walk up and down in front of the eleven girls and then from behind. I take three passes. This is going to be very hard since they are so beautiful. I need advice. I need to think like a man.

I step over to Parvin and whisper, “Which two girls are least attractive?”

“I ... I don’t understand.”

“If you were going to have sex with these girls starting with the most beautiful and continuing with who is most beautiful next who would you chose last.”

“I don’t know, my queen. They are all very lovely.”

‘Please chose.”

“Yes, my queen.”

“Go ahead and inspect them.”

Parvin does the same walk I did two times.