Chapter 3

In the first week of July, we knew in my family that lock down was coming again, and we talked about it over the dinner table. The kids were naturally very depressed and Toni, in particular, held out hope that it wouldn’t happen. But the rest of us were resigned to it.

Later that evening, after family game time, Kat and I were sitting at the dining table working on our shopping list for the next week when Michelle came and sat next to us.

“Hi mum and dad”. I glanced at her ... what was coming?

“It’s about Tim. You know how he’s living in the house near Uni?”. We nodded. Right.

“Well, we just talked about lockdown coming back. He’s not happy where he’s living”.

“Why?”

“See, his flat mates aren’t going to observe the lock down – they didn’t last time. And they’ll be drinking lots. Also, the internet sucks there. He really doesn’t want to stay there through a second lock down. And what if the virus gets out of control? That’s really an awful group of people to be relying on to look after you when you’re sick. And I don’t want to go there if he gets sick.”

No – that was because Tim, who visited us a lot, and who we liked and trusted, let slip to the other students that our house was a naked one. Michelle got lots of very unwelcome attention the next time she visited from some very immature toddlers in teenage bodies, and swore that she wasn’t going to go back there again. Which we totally backed, obviously - our girls are one hundred percent empowered to stand up for themselves. Tim was genuinely embarrassed and sorry and promised it would never happen again.

“Ok”, Kat said. “So where do his parent’s live?”

I thought it wasn’t far to their place.

“Well, that’s the thing – they’ve moved out to the country, back to their farm. And we suppose Tim could go out there, but it’s a really long way, and the internet is worse there. No way he could do remote learning out there.”

“So, what else can he do?”

But I think we both knew where this was going. And sure enough:

“Well, we’d both like to ask if Tim can come and live with us for the lock down”.

So, there it is. We figured this would come eventually, but we weren’t close to ready for it. Kat and I have invested so much on creating the family culture we want, and any change to it is something we take really seriously. We shared a look and I grimaced.

Kat asked, “Where would Tim be sleeping?”

“Well, my room, of course,” Michelle said, her tone making it clear she thought it was a strange question.

Of course, they’ve been ‘sleeping together’ for a couple of years now – they were each other’s first. But that’s a very different proposition from actually sleeping together day in, day out, and trying to build their own permanent relationship, rather than living under our rules. I was sure that they didn’t appreciate this difference yet.

I asked, “Who suggested this first?”.

“I think it was me.”

“Is it what you really want?”

Michelle thought about that and then nodded. “Yes, I would really like that. Of course, there’s the sex, but it’s more than that. He makes me complete, like you and Mum, and I love him. What if I can’t see him at all?”

Kat nodded. “Dad and I need to talk about this. We’ll come find you if we have more questions.”

After Michelle went back to her room, Kat and I talked about the idea. Kat was very sympathetic to the idea, and we both well remembered how hard Michelle had found the first lock down, even though she could still see Tim occasionally. But we were quite concerned about the impact Tim moving in might have on family dynamics. At least, the naked thing wasn’t a concern; Tim had long been a regular visitor. And we really did like Tim and approve of him as her boyfriend. For an 18-year-old guy, he was relatively emotionally mature, and he grounded Michelle in the same way I do it for Kat.

It didn’t take us long to decide that we were OK with Tim living with us for the lock down, though we weren’t exactly sure how long that would be. But it would be subject to some rules – of course, we like rules! Well, not really. We want to have a few rules as possible, but what the rules really create is freedom, and we value the freedom.

The first thing that we needed was for Zach and Toni to be happy with it. Kat went in the kitchen and banged on the dinner gong and called an emergency family meeting. We hadn’t had one of those for ages.

Kat explained what Michelle had asked for to Zach and Toni. Toni agreed straight away, of course. We expected that – it was just consistent with her general loving approach to life, and she’d want Michelle and Tim to be happy. Zach, we weren’t so sure about, but he was fine. He shrugged, and said “Tim, sure, he’s fine, and I’ll have someone to play cricket and footy with while we’re locked down. No problems”.

Well... “That was easy,” I said to Kat as the 3 kids shared a group hug.

Kat called Tim and invited him to come around for a talk, and he told us he was leaving immediately. Pretty soon, he and Michelle were sitting down across the table from us.

Tim started straight away. “Firstly, I really want to say how much I appreciate that you’ll even talk to me about this. Obviously, I love Michelle, but I also realise just how special what you have here is, and I really don’t want to do anything to change Michelle’s safe space. But I just can’t live at that place anymore. I knew that I had to move out anyway, but after the way they abused Michelle, it’s urgent. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get out for a few weeks, but it’s really hard to find anywhere on a student budget because of the virus.”

“Living here with Michelle would be amazing, if you’re happy for me to do that, and I’m sure you’ll have rules that I have to follow. I’ll do whatever you want, and just be happy because you have an amazing family.”

This is why we were considering this, actually – Tim was respectful and considerate, and it he was making it obvious. We’d also agreed that I was going to do the talking.

“Ok, Tim, we’re thinking about it, but we obviously have plenty of questions for you.” Tim nodded.

“So let’s start with the easy questions first. What would it mean for you to live here? How much stuff do you have, and what would you have to leave the house for?”

“Well, nearly all my stuff is already in the car – I’ve been kind of hoping I could move quickly. I have 3 bags of stuff, and some sports gear, my bike, a chair, and my gaming computer and gear. And there’s my car, of course. That’s all I’ve got. I mean, I have some stake in the kitchen gear, but it’s kind of common. It’ll just be easier to leave that behind. Really, that’s all.”

“As for having to leave the house, all my course is virtual right now, and will be all year. I had a job working as a waiter in a café, but that’s closed and I’m just getting jobkeeper for the moment. The boss was just about to open back up too, so that sucks for her. I don’t have any other reason to leave the house. Is any of that a problem?”

I shook my head. “No, I think it’s all ok. We can leave your car on the side of the driveway through winter, and we have space for all the rest. And I have plenty of spare internet capacity, so that’ll be ok. You will have to help me move the office space around so we can find space for you.”

“Of course, I’ll help with what you want.”

“Ok, sure. Now, are your parents OK with you living with us?” It didn’t really matter - Tim’s an adult, but we think that family is important, and so we wouldn’t want trouble if we can avoid it. And Tim’s parents knew all about us and had even visited us – they just loved the wet area.

“Oh, mum and dad are fine with it. In fact, they wondered whether I could live here, and they say that they’re actually jealous. They couldn’t live with each other until they got married.”

“It’s not going to be a problem for you, learning to live with your girlfriend, and also living with your girl’s parents, and all stuck in the same house? A lot of people your age would think that was pretty weird.”