Chapter 3: Entrepreneur

Oh, in the previous chapter I brought up I wanted to consult with Faye about organizing my time during the summer. I want to include a varsity sport during my sophomore year, without having to attend a summer training camp and I completely forgot to mention her advice regarding making some extra money during the summer. That’s an important concern too. Regarding sports, her advice is Golf. Money making opportunities, her advice is offer Mr. Fixit home repairs and lawn care. Her advice for making money after school starts, is start a garage band. All of her advice leaves me cold. How do I tell her, I appreciate her advising me, but her advice doesn’t suit me?

“Our school doesn’t even have a golf team, and frankly, I don’t know how to play. I played putt-putt golf once and couldn’t even get past the windmill, had to walk around and skip it. It’s hard for me to generate any enthusiasm for golf. What fun is it to hit a ball and chase it?”

“Consider the future advantages. Where do you think most American executive’s business is conducted? I play, enjoy it, and I’m actually very good, better than most men. If the school board endorsed a golf team, a co-ed golf team, with me as an unpaid volunteer coach, would you join and encourage others, some girlfriends, to join?”

“Anything for you, Faye. Even golf. Your idea about fixing door bells and cupboard hinges, I don’t see much market for that.”

“That’s only because you haven’t thought it out.”

“Well, I admit I haven’t given it much thought. Mowing lawns is very competitive with all the ten to twelve year old kids pushing around mowers for hire. They work cheap and I won’t.”

“You need to think about offering specialized services the kids don’t.”

“What, like trimming hedges? Getting cats out of trees? I don’t understand what you’re suggesting?”

“Didn’t you say, you rejected many offers of sex while you waited for someone like me to show up?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, you wanted your first time to be special. Was it?”

“Very special, I can’t thank you enough, and I...”

“Can it, Earl. I enjoyed it at least as much as you did, and we will continue to enjoy each other. Let’s not talk about it, just do it.”

“Now?”

“Later. Now that you gave up your cherry, that’s past history, what’s holding you back from accepting invitations from those women you formerly disappointed?”

“Well, I feel bonded to you, I want exclusivity with you. I love you.”

“You’re a big boy, a young man now. Act like it. I don’t want or expect exclusivity. We aren’t married or going to be. We haven’t taken vows unto death. Listen. You’re young, handsome, and fit. Women are attracted to you. You should appreciate them, too.”

“You mean, you want me to have sex with other women?”

“How will you know I’m truly special, as you claim, if you have no other experience to compare me with? Go out and get pussy, Earl.”

“I haven’t even thought about it.”

“While you’re thinking about it, think how you could accomplish it? You can’t invite them to your apartment, you don’t have one. Hotels are expensive. You need to visit them in their homes. What’s your excuse for being at their house?”

“Mr Fixit and lawn care?”

“You’re catching on.”

“You want me to whore myself to lonely women?”

“No! Look. You pull a few weeds, pick her a bouquet of flowers from her own flower beds. Later she pays you a buck for your gardening, and a generous tip, because you pleased her in bed.”

“Do you think it could actually happen that way?”

“Let me arrange your clients and appointments for you, follow my advice about what the lady likes, and I can guarantee your success.”

“What about your other idea, the garage band?”

“Do you play any instruments?”

“Blow the harmonica a little, but actually, no, nothing.”

“When I was a kid, I learned to play drums. I still play. I have a stage quality kit I can loan you, and teach you to play. Interested?”