Concussion Protocol
Copyright© 2021 by Kim Cancer
Sports Talk Radio 2
“Hard-Core Sports Fans Are Losers”
Those sports talk guys are doofuses, sure, but they are performers. They are jesters, clowns. They are just playing their role in the circus. Jim’s anger settles slightly. But then returns with a vengeance when the screen on the wall swirl fades into black and white images of fans at pro football games.
The fans ... The jabbering throngs...
Jim recalls how much he looks down on middle-aged and old guy sports fans. He considers them the worst of the worst, the biggest losers of them all.
At least the sports talk hacks, idiots on ESPN, the idiot Colin Cowherd and his ilk, some of those buffoons get paid millions to talk their drivel. They get paid millions to run their stupid mouths, flap their gums, incessantly, about NFL quarterbacks and coaches and such...
But what about those losers who call into the sports talk radio shows? Those middle-aged men who’d wear a player’s jersey? A 50-year-old man wearing a 24-year-old running back’s jersey, what is that? A 40-year-old man who paints his face in the team colors or logo? How about those mouth-breathing morons calling into sports talk radio shows, stuttering and saying, “Well, w ... w ... what I think the Eagles should do...”
On the wall is a grayscale picture of a fat middle-aged loser, pacing a shitty, tiny apartment, wearing an all-pro linebacker’s jersey, and hollering into his phone’s wiry headset. His head bobs and hangs and he’s ripping rancid farts and reading off a script of chicken-scratch scrawled in a wrinkly notebook that he’s clutching in his greasy, stubby, trembling hands, and he’s berating a fan of another team, who’s just another loser.
What a bunch of losers! Didn’t they have anything better to do with their lives and time? Jim always pitied them, but it’s worse to witness the guy in his habitat, his crappy little apartment. Jim can imagine how awful the fan’s apartment smells, like something between foot fungus, farts, and feces, and how the apartment probably has cockroaches crawling all over the sports memorabilia and posters, cockroaches racing up the moldy, stinky walls...
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