Lisa

Oh my GOD! I can’t believe Mia’s family is moving into the “Funeral Home!!” It’s like almost as awesome as the Amityville House. Maybe more because it’s so recent.

I read that ghosts hang around for a while, in the place they died, and as time goes on, the ghosts eventually pass, which is why you’ll probably never hear of or see ghosts of cavemen, prehistoric monkey men or whatever.

Picture that, coming home, and finding the ghost of a monkey man rubbing sticks together in your living room or driving in your car and seeing a caveman being chased down the street by a woolly mammoth.

I have, like, always been fascinated by the macabre. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been into horror movies.

Freddy Krueger was my fav. I know he was like totally icky, but something about those finger claws ... They were hot! I’d see him in my dreams, but they wouldn’t be nightmares. I’d help him kill people or let him slash me with those claws, in a kinky, S&M way. Seriously, it was always an honor being murdered by Freddy...

Even since I started “like” liking boys, I’ve always been into the bad boys, the villains in movies.

It was when I was a teen that guys started trying to fuck me. I began to notice the looks, the eyes grazing my body. Or like the more casual, wandering glances from grown men, men walking down the street, hand in hand with their wife or girlfriend. Or the guy peering for a split second from another table at a restaurant, stealing a glance, then looking away fast, as if it never happened.

Oh, and the businessmen, with their suits and briefcases, old men even, wearing wedding bands. The perverts who’d walk by briskly, on the street, staring, eyes leaping from their skulls, fucking STARING at my tits...

It’s incredible how different my life became when I got “hot,” how differently people treated me and looked at me ... How older women suddenly acted bitchy to me, instead of patting me on the head or pinching my face like they did before, or the men, acting awkwardly, leering, and smiling with their toothy, shit-eating grins...

I know some girls like that. But I’ve never liked the gawkers. I only appreciate the attention if it’s from a guy I like or one who’s cute. But random strangers on the street? No. Like they think I’m wearing these short shorts to attract their attention? No. I’m not. I’m wearing them because it’s a hot day.

Seriously, I must confess that the older I’ve gotten, the more I hate men. They lie, they smell gross. They sweat. Like, why do guys sweat so profusely? What’s up with that? I don’t know why, but I’ve always hated sweaty guys. I hate jocks, which is weird, too, because I’m a cheerleader.

I usually date misfits. I like guys with lots of tattoos, as long as they keep clean, have good hygiene, and don’t sweat too much. And don’t stink. There is nothing worse in this world than a guy who stinks. Body odor just repulses me. Yuck, the mere thought of it makes me want to ... Ugh...

Okay, I know it’s unusual, but I like criminals. I love criminals, to be honest. Criminals are hot. But they have to be nice to me and not be stinky or dirty or rapey. I don’t like that. I don’t like the rapey ones. Oh, aside from Ted Bundy.

Aw, Ted was SO dreamy. He’s who got me into serial killers. I was about 12 and I watched a documentary on cable about Ted Bundy and I was hooked. I know he was rapey, but, for him, just for him, it’s okay. I’d totally have let Ted Bundy rape me. Not kill me, no. But rape me, yeah.

I have rape fantasies, okay, I admit, but only about HOT guys like Ted Bundy.

These days, there aren’t any cool serial killers anymore. I don’t know. I read somewhere that with technology, smartphones and cameras everywhere, GPS tracking, it’s harder to be an active serial killer. That’s too bad, I think. Serial killers are so cool, exciting, and fun. As much as I love horror movies, serial killers are way better because they’re real. Like anyone can kill in a movie, but kidnapping and murdering in real life, that takes talent, smarts, and courage.

It’s like how many people talk, saying, in their husky, tough guy voice, how they’ll “kill such and such,” but they never ever do it ... It takes guts to kill. That’s why serial killers fucking rock.

But there just aren’t any awesome serial killers nowadays. Contemporary murder trends are dominated by mass killers. At first, aside from the Columbine killers, I didn’t get into them. Most were just strange and creepy and I thought that it’s too easy to just walk into a store or school and shoot people.

But better ones have come along, cuter ones. Like James Holmes. After James Holmes, I started to follow mass killers more and have really taken a liking to them. There are creative, exciting mass killers out there. I’ve come to appreciate them more.

There are a few message boards I belong to, where we share info, pictures, videos of various killers, along with jail addresses to write letters to.

I’ve written to several incarcerated mass murderers and serial killers and am in correspondence with a couple. But most of them never write back. I understand and all. I’m sure they receive tons of fan mail...