The Ivory Coast
Copyright© 2021 by Yob
Prelude
“The lawyer says the fine print is just boiler plate, don’t concern yourself with it. Please just sign it.”
“Nope, not yet.”
“Why not? You agreed to a divorce.”
“I agreed to a no fault divorce. Ourselves determining the conditions, the terms, the division of property, the amount of child support and visitation rights, and who is responsible for which of the debts. You agreed to hire an impartial lawyer. Just a neutral scribe to write what we agree on, in a proper legal format and correctly present it to the court. This woman lawyer you selected is not impartial. It’s obvious from the ‘Boiler Plate’ she added, she intends to screw me on your behalf. I’m not signing this.”
“What exactly do you object to?”
“I’ll line it out for you.”
With my pen and a straight edge, I draw heavy lines through half the bulk of the text. All of it screws me, and favors her, my wife of twelve years.
“You didn’t have to ruin it! Now I have to return to her office and get a fresh copy. You’re a selfish inconsiderate bastard! Know that?” Tears of frustration and rage course down her plump cheeks.
“Only those who set themselves against me as enemy, ever see my harsh and combative side. Why do you observe it for the first time now? Think about the position you have taken. Tell that bitch lawyer, don’t bother sending any more garbage like this and expect I’ll sign it. Ruin it? It was a ruin when it was typed. Dead on arrival. I refuse to sign such a one sided document. Perhaps, you should find a different lawyer for US. Not just for you!”
“I prefer this lawyer.”
“Fine. You agreed to pay all the legal fees since the divorce was your idea. The more time she wastes with legal drivel like this, the more she costs you. Until I see a document that lays out accurately what we agreed upon, I will never sign it! You understand, you can go bankrupt accruing legal fees for nonsense that gets you no closer to your divorce.”