Chapter 15

The final drama of this extended, somewhat angst-filled, teenage holiday didn’t even involve a teenager. Apparently 20 somethings were equally angst filled.

Andrew arrived in London without fuss. He had thanked the Wilsons and would see Abi the following weekend. When he arrived at Jim and Freya’s flat he just had time to dump his bags before he was swept out the door for Sunday lunch with them and Lars and Moira. They were heading back to Iceland that evening and would be off to Heathrow late afternoon. Although Andrew contributed a little to the conversation it was good to hear both of them talk about Iceland, and Reykjavik in particular. Other than it was half way to Greenland he knew little about the country, so it was nice to hear a native extol the virtues of the place. Moira had once described it as Scotland bulked up. The mountains were higher, the weather was more extreme, it seemed everything was more extreme. The way Lars talked about it reinforced that vision. It also had a total population of just over half of Edinburgh, so it was extreme and empty. Moira seemed to have settled into life in the capital without fuss. She was on the phone to European capitals, especially London, a lot. All in all it was nice to catch up with them. Lars was the only person Andrew knew that was taller than him, and he was a mountain at 6’9”, and it was always funny to watch people’s reactions when they arrived anywhere. As Jim always said, they made everyone else look Lilliputian. Andrew prepared dinner while Freya and Jim went out to the airport with them. She might be 22 but she was still daddy’s little girl. When they returned they sat and had dinner and finally caught up.

“It was great that you were able to see them before they left. How was your break?”

Andrew sat and chatted to them about how the whole holiday went, Leslie and Julian, Maggie and Tony, Matt, Abi, the whole lot. He talked about the sense that his university friends were more important than his school friends, but also the reasons why.

“You seem remarkably relaxed given everything going on.”

“I think it is a phase that students all go through. I decided to stop with the agonising over everything. I also told Matt about volunteering, it came up in a conversation with his father about cancer, and I told Abi that I did some Open University courses. One of the things that all of us talked about was the sense of moving away, friends from school no longer seemed to get us, stuff like that. Matt, Pedro and I all had that sense. Leslie and Julian felt it the other way, that they couldn’t start fresh because they wanted to stay in Edinburgh and the success we had happened while they were at university so that also limited them. I had nothing to talk to their classmates about, and so much to keep secret, that I ended up chatting to Edith Rifkind and then friends of Julian senior and Brian. I know and can talk to all these older people, and important or influential people but I don’t have many peers to talk to, at least in Edinburgh. That is why Trinity and Cambridge feel so important. If Justin is back I will have stayed with Matt, Abi and Justin this break plus I will call Navya later and see if I can catch up with her, and maybe even Helena. I spent a lot of time with Pedro before I even went to Paris. University is my support group, at least of people my own age.”

“It is a good way of looking at it. Can I ask about your parents? How was that?”

Andrew knew that his well-renowned poker face would betray him.

“Most of it was really great. It was nice to see Scott and it was even nice to see Rowan, we had a pleasant conversation for the first time in years. My Grandma and the extended family were all fine. But Dad doesn’t like me. There is no other way to categorise it. We survived Christmas Day but there is an antipathy there which is growing rather than easing. I don’t think I behave the way he accuses me of, and so I don’t know how to bridge the gap. And after this break I don’t know that I want to bridge it. I hope that things will gradually get better but look at this evening, the whole day. You and the Campbells are surrogate parents. I talk through and explain things with you, discuss the choices I am making with my life, whereas I tell my parents a severely edited version of my life. They will always be Mum and Dad and I have to believe that they still love me but they stopped being my parents a long time ago, and frankly I don’t think they would know what to make of me now. My mother’s reaction to my arse on TV would be beyond hilarious. She suffers from ‘what will the neighbours think’ syndrome about the most trivial of things. This would send her into orbit.”

Andrew forced himself to chuckle as he imagined her reaction. He needed to move on from his parents. Freya sensed it as well.

“Have you heard anything yet about the commercials?”

“I spoke to Manon last week, no 10 days ago, and she told me they were pleased. Lots of footage. She did tell me that her boss was talking to the executives that run the whole company about some of the proposed commercials. It all comes back to Hermès’ values. They want to stay just this side of the line which is too outrageous while at the same time get people to notice the product. I have no say over the final product so there is nothing I can do, and nothing to worry about. Plus the contract explicitly states that they can never be shown here in Britain. So Jean is going to have to get Norman to take her to Paris if she wants to tease me about them.”

Jim laughed.

“You know that she will.”

“She is one of my favourite people. She is so nice but there is that devilish streak in her. I think she just likes confounding me.”

“Are they going to send you copies?”

“I presume so, but I am not positive. Maybe it is in the contract. You know how I rely on Mhairi for all that stuff. It was her attention to detail that saved me from the Department of Education all these years ago.”

“We are both back to work tomorrow, what are your plans?”

“Get back into my routine. Run around the Park and then down to Marshall Street for a swim. If Navya is around then I will see her, like I said maybe Helena too, though that is less likely. Then if Justin is back and it is still okay to crash with him then I will head down there on Thursday and get a lift with him back to College at the weekend.”

Once Andrew had caught up with Freya and Jim he called Navya.

“I didn’t think your mother was going to let me talk to you.”

“Don’t get me started. How was Barnstaple?”

“Crazy and chaotic to be honest. On New Year’s Eve there were 15 of us just for dinner. All three of Matt’s siblings had friends over. Afterwards we retreated to the pub. Did he tell you I was going down there?”

“Yes, last weekend. I have to sneak calls to him when no one is around.”

“It sounds like you are constrained about what you can talk freely about. Do you want to meet? I am in town until Thursday morning.”

“Good call. Let’s not do it tomorrow, too many questions. Tuesday 10am at Baker Street station as usual.”

“Perfect. All right I will see you then.”

“Hang on, someone else wants a quick word. I need to distract Mum.”

“Andrew?”

“Hello Rupashi, how are you?”

“Great. Look I don’t have long to chat. Remember where we met at Easter?”

“Trafalgar Square. SE Lion.”

“6.00 tomorrow night. Please.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Great. See you then.”

Click. Andrew had no idea what to make of that so didn’t stress about it.

The following day he was up at his usual early hour and did four laps of Regents Park after his exercises, at a slow steady pace, before Tubing over to Marshall Street and an hour in the pool. It was more than a week since Andrew had last swam and as always it soothed him. For once his mind wasn’t racing, it was a leisurely swim just relaxing. Swimming really was his yoga.

For what seemed like the first time that break Andrew studied until 5.00. It was a quiet relaxing day on his own, something he was starting to realise he needed regularly. After he packed up he headed back into the city centre. He had no idea what Rupashi wanted to talk about, probably another moan about her parents. Having skulked around the Tube Station entrance staying out of the wind and rain Andrew was at the lion at 5.55. Without a word Rupashi slipped her hand into his arm and semi-dragged him over towards Whitehall. After negotiating the insane traffic she directed Andrew into the Silver Cross and finally seemed to relax.

“Sorry about that. One of the guys Mum is trying to get me to consider often ‘accidentally’ bumps into me after work. I am pretty sure I gave him the slip.”

As she had been talking she had unwrapped a large scarf which had partially obscured her face, the whole point he realised. Andrew found them a table and went to get drinks. His arse was not yet onto the seat before Rupashi started.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet me, although I didn’t give you much chance to say no.”

“You seem all wound up Rupashi, just relax, drink your wine. I have all night, do you?”

“Yes, I told them I would be working late. I often work late these days, some of it even at the office.”

Her smile was strained but some of the tension seemed to leave her. He drank some beer and waited for the tale of woe to start.

“Do you find me attractive Andrew?”

Thank goodness he didn’t have a mouthful of beer!

“You know I find you attractive Rupashi. I remember thinking the very first time I met you that you were beautiful. Nothing over the last year plus has changed that. You know I am attracted to Indian women, what brought this on?”

“Life at home is a mess, that’s what. I have struggled to connect with any of the Indian men that I have met on my own, and the mummy’s boys that I am being introduced to through my interfering mother are even worse. I swear a third of them have outright told me that they expect me to give up work if we married. Stay at home with their mother and learn to be a good Indian wife. So all that time at school and university was a waste, all my own dreams are to be cast aside, learn to cook and start popping out babies.”

She stopped her rant and sighed.

“Even my mother won’t countenance that so it is not like I am being forced into that particular situation but even the ones who talk a good game are barely more than tepidly enthusiastic. I have a First from Cambridge, work at a large, well known law firm and have met three of the Law Lords, one of whom has sent me a couple of letters on House of Lords stationary.”

The first genuine smile cracked her face.

“Oh Andrew, you should have seen the place when the mail room put the letter in my slot. I think they told all the partners before it was even delivered. The letters were not really the point. Lord Barnes knew exactly what he was doing. I shouldn’t smile when I get a letter from a Law Lord, but I swear when his Christmas card was delivered I was smiling before I even opened the envelope. And do you know what he had put inside? ‘Forgive the cultural insensitivity, Merry Christmas.’. And they had both signed it. The partners are totally unsure how to deal with all this. The other students are even worse. Scared, bitter, suck-ups, sometimes being all three at the same time. And you know what, I know it will make no difference if I don’t do well on my courses and exams. It has made me study harder, I don’t want to let Lord Barnes down. So as you can tell I am working my tail off at the office but loving it. You know me Andrew, ready to fight at the drop of a hat, but I am no longer the token brown girl in the office. Don’t look so shocked, how many black and brown people do you see at Cambridge? Anyway, I have a voice and I intend to use it.”

“You told me the day after you met Jim that you were upset at your parents for making such a big deal out of it. Are you okay with getting a helping hand, a gentle nudge, whatever you want to call what Jim is doing for you?”

“Completely. I cannot fight racism and injustice on my own. I have no problem accepting a leg up from someone for the right reasons. I think he is like you, he sees a trainee lawyer who happens to be from Indian parents.”

She took a big gulp of wine and exhaled loudly.

“We got sidetracked, but it is the thing that is saving me at the moment. Even Mum realises that I have a future in the legal profession. Trust me the Christmas card from Lord and Lady Barnes is still up in the house. My mother may be mad but she is not stupid.

“What is not changing is her stupid need for me to be engaged as soon as possible. I have been given the chance to find a love match for the last three years and no one has remotely stirred my interest. Thus the interfering. Which brings us to you and to the reason for this meeting.”

All of Rupashi’s steam had evaporated and now she was hesitant and awkward.

“Shit, this was so much easier in my head on the way here. Look Andrew, I met someone over the holiday who is not too bad, hardly a ringing endorsement for my future husband but he is nice, funny and best of all his mother is dead. Now that sounds horrible but it takes away a significant source of generational strife. He is the same age as me, just finished university like me and is in no hurry to start a family. What he doesn’t have, at least yet, is that spark. He is nice but there is no lust.”

She stopped again. Her voice was barely a whisper.

“The only person in the last two years that I have felt lust for is you Andrew. The unattainable and unacceptable Andrew McLeod. Andrew, if I am going to have an arranged marriage or at least compromise on my future husband, I want a night of passion. With you.”

Andrew’s mind seemed to split. Part of it was shocked and struggling to know what to say and how to respond. But another part was thinking about accepting what Rupashi proposed. Sadly they both ended up at the same place – this was a monumentally bad idea. But for once he kept his own counsel for a second and thought again. He needed to talk with Rupashi and not just decide for both of them, just as he had done two years earlier with Arabella. He realised he had been silent for too long.

“Sorry, you know what I am like, I was thinking it through. My instinct was to say that this is a bad idea. But I have made the mistake of being paternalistic in the past and was rightly berated for behaving that way. Two of my three concerns are the opposite end of the spectrum. Clinging on to me, and this not being a one-time thing even after you are engaged or married. Or you are filled with loathing and regret the next day and you never speak to me again. The risk of either of them seems to outweigh the considerable benefit of a night of passion with you. The latter seems to be the much bigger risk. The last concern is related to that one, the cultural concerns about being a virgin.”

“Thank you for not rejecting it out of hand. For all I know things will be great with Pranav but this is about exercising a little bit of control. Retaining my own independence and not just being married off to the first decent guy that comes along, because trust me it feels like it. I am doing this for me before I resign myself to being the dutiful Indian daughter. And the hairbrush handle took care of everything five years ago so that is also not an issue.”

Rupashi smiled shyly at him and Andrew’s resolve melted. When he smiled and nodded she bounced up and down with excitement.

“Just you saying yes has got me all hot and bothered. When are we doing this? And where?”

Well weren’t they two interesting dilemmas. Andrew wasn’t taking her back to the flat so he presumed it would be a hotel.

“I am here until Thursday morning, so tomorrow or Wednesday night. Which is better for you?”

Her gulp was noticeable. Something just became very real.

“Er, Wednesday, yes Wednesday. I can’t tomorrow night.”

“Okay, you work on the Strand yes?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent. I will make a reservation at the Savoy. We will have dinner at 6.30 and then we will spend the night there.”

“The Savoy? Andrew, that is really pricy.”

“Don’t worry about that. You have to come up with a reason to be away overnight on Wednesday for your parents. You will need a change of work clothes for the Thursday.”

“Oh my god, are we really doing this?”

“Yes, we are.”

He wondered if Rupashi was having second thoughts already.

“You are so calm and practical. I had gotten no further than working to get you to agree. What agreement looked like I had never really considered. Bloody hell, Wednesday night.”

They walked back up to Charing Cross Tube Station both of them heading the same way. Standing on the platform waiting for the train Andrew stood right behind Rupashi, his arms around her middle.

“Would you like to hear my philosophy on sex?”