Chapter 10

“Bloody hell Andrew, where did all that come from?”

Andrew did a trademark shrug at Tony’s question.

“It has been bubbling away in my head for days, weeks probably even months. The College of Art in Cambridge struggles to find models, at least ones that look like me. The two of you have been advertising for weeks looking for models. Of the six different models I looked at yesterday, we all know that at least half of them are marginal at best. And then there has been most people’s reaction to my being filmed naked for a series of commercials in France. If they are broadcast literally millions of people are going to see me, see my body, all bar a very small part of it.”

Andrew knew it as soon as he said it, but he joined Maggie and Tony in laughing.

“Okay, a very big part of it. Most men, even most male models would not do what I did in Paris, just like the overwhelming majority of women won’t do what we need them to do. If you have a very limited supply of something then you have to maximise what you do with it. That was what I was trying to do last night, although it took me until now to be able to express it better.”

However much Tony and Maggie poked at what Andrew had said, it was the truth. The societal stigma of being a nude model was enormous. The tiny percentage that was left was all they had to work with and not all of them were suitable.

“Should we stop?”

“No. But I think we have to just not get too carried away. What would happen if we sold a set of pictures to, oh I don’t know, Mayfair say. They like the model, are impressed with the set of pictures and ask us for two more sets. Even if we can get away with using the same model for one of them we have to find someone else. I just worry that there won’t be enough models that are publishable. I think that we should not focus on nudity. Shoot it if you find a suitable model. But I think that we should focus on stuff that sells. Everything is advertised with pretty women. I think that should be the mainstay of the business and don’t worry and obsess about finding nude models. I just don’t think there are that many out there. We know that lots of people have the fantasy, Stacey and Elspeth and Sheelagh and all the others have proven that. Follow the money.”

Andrew hadn’t meant to rain on their parade but both Tony and Maggie were a bit down as they thought about it. But they also understood making money and Andrew was right.

“We got carried away, didn’t we?”

“I think we did. But there is no harm done. The energy for the business just needs to be redirected.”

The camera club were due to start arriving any minute so Maggie and Andrew left Tony to get them organised. He was going to leave them to it for part of the time and join them upstairs.

“Why did we get so, so, so.”

Maggie stopped and grasped for the word.

“Deluded?”

“If you think about it, what we have been trying to do is mirroring your own journey. We just needed someone exactly like you that would sign the release.”

Maggie practiced her fly-catching before finally closing her mouth.

“When did you realise?”

“Just right now. Like I said, all this mess has been swirling in my head. It is only as we are talking about it that it is starting to become clearer. Tony and I are decent amateur photographers, in fact that is very unfair to Tony. But it was working with you as you lived out some of your fantasies that drove the whole thing forward. We just tried to create the ultimate fantasy, turning our illicit hobby into a business.”

The club were up and running and Tony came up the stairs. Andrew left Maggie to talk to him while he went out to grab some takeout for dinner. He returned with Chinese food and they ate in silence for a while.

“So what do we do now?”

“Exactly the same as before, there will just be more clothes on the models.”

Tony looked faux pouty and Maggie laughed.

“Glamour photography is the business. But a model in her underwear or a bikini or a swimsuit is still glamour photography. The number of models prepared to pose like that will be exponentially bigger. Keep advertising for nude models but don’t worry if pickings are slim. Elspeth wants to be involved in the business. She told me so this afternoon. She is organised and discreet, after all she works as a receptionist at a doctor’s practice each morning. She strikes me as the perfect person to run the business every afternoon. Make appointments for shoots or auditions, manage the bookings of the darkroom and studio. And not bothered in the slightest at the subject matter.”

Maggie thought about this and nodded.

“She has done most of the entry of the old sets that we bought. And she is quick but accurate. Talking of the old shoots, should we keep looking to buy sets from guys that are retiring or have passed away.”

“I don’t think people see boxes of old photographs as having any value. Pay a fair price, maybe even slightly more than the cameras are worth but then say you will take all the old prints away. Like you are doing the guy, or his widow, a favour. Most of it will be dross I am guessing but there may be some gems.”

“That is a good way of looking at it. We are doing them a favour. As long as I break even on the cameras and other equipment then I say we keep doing it.”

Tony went down to check up on the camera club leaving Maggie and Andrew to chat.

“Paris really helped you, and us I suppose.”

“It did. But it started back in the late winter when I modelled for the College of Art students. Everything flows from there. But there is no doubt that last weekend was really helpful. I got to see a big time studio, got to see how a commercial is made. But it was the little things like the robustness of the set, how it looked very real even although it was a painted wall. All the changes of clothes, the relentless pace, that all helped too. I got the chance to see all that, learn about all that, and it can only help us in our business.”

“When I came home you were in the studio looking at the sets. And I get the idea that if we only have a very few nude models that we need to have lots of different sets, different looks. Do you think it is worth it?”

“No idea. I tried it a little bit last night with Roxanne, two different corsets, three different colours and kinds of stockings, ribbons in her hair. I think we have three or four distinct sets that we could sell. But when I looked around the studio in Paris while they were changing something on the set there were large amounts of props, backdrops, even whole walls, all stored at the back. One of the things that we should do is really look at the sets in the pictures in all these magazines. Not the way the model is posed or what she is wearing but the different backgrounds, sets, even rooms or locations. I think that we should be looking to see what sells and do our version of it.”

Andrew went to pick up a random magazine but instead of a men’s magazine it was a simple pamphlet on yoga of all things. Maggie looked happy.

“Oh thank you. I wondered where that had gone.”

It was only half a dozen photocopied pages but it showed 20 or so different poses.

“You do yoga?”

“After work a couple of days a week. Why?”

Andrew looked over at Maggie and winked.

“I thought you could show me some poses, I will go and get my camera and I will photograph you and then we can compare your poses to the diagrams.”

“Where? Here?”

Andrew nodded.

“Grab an end of the coffee table and move it out the way. What do you need?”

“I have a yoga mat. I don’t know if my clothes are clean.”

“Maggie, don’t worry about clothes, go and get your mat and strip. I will be back in a moment.”

When Andrew returned Maggie had laid a mat out in the centre of the living room. Without studio lights the photos were not going to be great but it was the theatre as much as anything. Maggie stood there, a wry smile on her face, trying not to look too happy. The first 10 minutes of the shoot Andrew didn’t take any pictures just watched her go through all the different poses. He had the little pamphlet in his hand so that he could see what the pose was called. He heard Tony come up the stairs.

“That’s them all gone and. Oh.”

He caught on quickly and smiled at Andrew.

“The studio is free.”

Three minutes later Maggie was standing on the yoga mat and Andrew looked at the pamphlet and called out the first pose. The first few poses were easy but then.

“I don’t think your left leg is straight enough. Tony can you help Maggie.”

Tony wasn’t a stupid man. From then on, every pose wasn’t quite right and he would help Maggie straighten her leg. When Andrew called for ‘downward dog’ Tony caressed Maggie from her shoulders to her knees, all to help her get the perfect form. Andrew started to realise that a lot of yoga poses are very graphic if the person is naked while doing it. Near the back of the pamphlet was a pose called ‘camel’ and Andrew watched as Tony flat out felt Maggie up. He stepped back and Andrew got the shot.

“Let’s try the modified camel Maggie. Your legs need to be wider, a more solid base.”

Maggie’s look changed from confusion at the made up pose to a very wicked grin. Tony’s hands ran up the inside of Maggie’s legs several times until Andrew was happy she was posed correctly. The last shot on the third roll clicked. Andrew looked over.

“One last downward dog.”

Thankfully Andrew got his camera packed up and was out the door of the studio before Tony finished undressing. Maggie’s form was terrible and she had slipped to her hands and knees.

Andrew walked home with a smile on his face. The day had been interesting and finally getting some of the confusion about the business sorted out in his head had helped. He realised, as he skirted the Meadows, that he wanted the photography business to be successful. Taking photographs and writing computer code were both creative outlets for Andrew. He had played his double bass during school, taken lessons and practiced, all for one concert. But he had no artistic ability whatsoever, his art classes at school in 1^st year and the last term of 2^nd year had been torture. But he did like to create. He remembered the way Abi had talked about it at the start of term. So photography was creative for him. He liked the challenge of taking a woman who had never modelled or did not have a standard model figure and make her feel comfortable, let her live her fantasy. He was looking forward to doing another shoot with Elspeth. That she was the same weight as him and more than a foot shorter didn’t matter.

On Saturday morning after returning from a tiring swim at the longer lanes of the Commonwealth Pool, Andrew called Leslie and Julian. He invited them over for dinner on Sunday night, and was going to ask Tony and Maggie when he got to the shop. Maggie was only a couple of years older than Leslie. They had very dissimilar backgrounds but thought the same way on a lot of things when it came to business. It was time to break down some silos.

When he got to the shop it was already busy, the penultimate weekend for Christmas shopping. Tony, Stacey and the unnamed student were all busy serving people. Tony just smiled when Andrew slipped through into the back of the shop. Maggie on the other hand...

“How am I ever going to concentrate at yoga again after that. Modified camel?”

Her whack was half-hearted at best and she glowed that morning.

“I have been going to yoga for more than a year. That pamphlet and the mat are in the flat all the time, yet you turn up and have me getting.”

She stopped.

“Well you know what I was getting. Terrible man.”

Again, her radiance belied the words.

“It is good to have you back here for a couple of weeks.”

They made tea then she sat and chatted with Andrew as he developed first Sheelagh’s rolls of film and then the rolls from the night before. By lunchtime Sheelagh’s single, thicker, album was filled, and Andrew had enlarged the print for her framed photograph. He wrapped it carefully in plain paper, presuming that she would want to look at it before wrapping in Christmas paper. It took time but was straightforward and hopefully her husband would appreciate the present. Maggie looked at her prints as he was finishing up.

“You didn’t even let me wear any clothes to take off. You had me naked from the start.”

“Do you want more dress-up shoots?”

Maggie sighed.

“I don’t know. Most of the time when I think of modelling for you I am already thinking about Tony afterwards. That was what got me going last night. You, you sneaky git, had him feeling me up for what? 20 minutes, half an hour? Modified camel was just to let him run his hands up and down my thighs!”

Andrew nodded.

“That is what we talked about last night. It is that brazenness that was clouding our thinking. And the fact that you are a serious exhibitionist. Do you want to go to the side of a track this afternoon? I know it is cold but we could do that if you want.”

Maggie sighed.

“Look, I would love to but Tony and I were on a train down to Newcastle, we went down for the day, and there was a family sitting opposite us. It made me realise that I shouldn’t be deliberately flashing because the kids could see it. Now teenage boys would think it was the best thing ever but if I got caught I reckon I would be in serious trouble. So we haven’t done that for a while.”

“But you want to do a shoot, be outdoors.”

“Absolutely. It gets me going something rotten.”

“Okay then. Black bra, no knickers, grip top stockings, high heels. Figure out which of the pleated skirts covers your stocking tops. White blouse, unbuttoned so that there is just a sneaky peek of your bra. Smart blazer. You can wear your long coat on the walk but I will carry it when we get there.”

Maggie didn’t question any of the choices just nodded and jumped up. She skipped up the stairs and Andrew gave Tony the head’s up.

“Take your vitamins.”

Andrew was taking his fiancé off to flash around Edinburgh 10 days before Christmas and all Tony did was mock groan and smile. Five minutes later he was kissed on the way out of the shop and Maggie slipped her arm into Andrew’s and they headed off into the city.

Edinburgh Castle was, and is, the most visited tourist attraction outside London in the whole of Britain. But a miserable December day in the run up to Christmas is not high season. It is about as low season as it is possible to get. There were a few desultory tourists scurrying about but overall it was very quiet. It was interesting what Andrew treated with more respect. He would have been perfectly happy photographing Maggie in St. Margaret’s Chapel, the oldest building in the whole castle. But he wouldn’t countenance photographing her at the Scottish National War Memorial. They agreed to pass on both. In fact they visited both, just to get out of the miserable December day.

But the flashing was hardly a challenge in the end. In fact it was absurdly easy. There are several rows of old preserved cannons at the Castle, called batteries. There is the Argyll Battery, the Forewall Battery and the Half Moon Battery. Guess which one they shot at? Andrew took a roll and a half of shots of Maggie flashing her full pale arse on the Half Moon Battery. They were at the end, and there was no access behind them. Andrew stood resting his camera on the last cannon as Maggie stared out over Edinburgh. She would look back at him and smile, no different than any other tourist. Other than her skirt was held up high out of the way. Her lovely legs were encased in stockings and then it was just pale plump Scottish bottom. Maggie even held the pose as a couple walked towards her. She was partially shielded by another cannon but the other couple were captured clearly in several of the shots. The other 30 plus shots were much more grabbing a quick snap while they could. A room in the preserved palace was empty for five seconds and Andrew would grab a shot. It was the same in several of the museums scattered all over the Castle. Three rolls of film and there must have been 55 of Maggie’s arse and half a dozen with some grand canyon cleavage. It had been a fun couple of hours, and Maggie had got her illicit fix of public nudity. She skipped back over the Esplanade on the way back to the shop.

“That was the perfect time to go. There is no way we would have been so lucky as to have that much unobserved time even at Easter, never mind the summer.”

Maggie babbled away on the walk back to the shop. Andrew also knew he would be helping Stacey when they returned. He just put his bag down behind the counter and started to help the next person. Maggie half dragged Tony away and he wasn’t seen for 40 minutes. Andrew thought that was an impressive performance for an old man! Stacey looked over at Andrew constantly but the shop was too busy to pester him. Eventually Tony returned, wearing a smile that could be seen from space. This gave Stacey the giggles and Andrew slipped away. He once again returned to the darkroom and developed the three rolls of film. When he looked at the prints he observed, again, that his technical floor was consistent and that most of the shots were pretty good. But there were only two stand out shots. One was an indoor shot where there was a mirroring effect and there were two of Maggie’s arse. But the best shot was one on the ramparts, at the Half Moon Battery. The wind had caught Maggie’s hair and blown it off her face. The naughty joy was writ large across it and Maggie, her bum and the cannon were all crisp and clear. Andrew enlarged that print and framed it. He had one of their Christmas presents sorted.

As the day wound down Andrew asked Stacey to call Elspeth for him. He didn’t want to have to talk to Donnie, too awkward for both of them. Once Elspeth was on the phone Stacey handed it over.

“Hi, its Andrew. This is going to be a really odd question and I apologise if I offend you. You don’t seem to be happy going to Mass on a Sunday morning.”

Andrew had heard Elspeth moaning about having to go to Mass every week otherwise she would never hear the end of it from Donnie’s mother. He heard her snort down the phone.