Chapter 5

After Jack and Anna left, I sat their thinking about Lauren’s email and what Anna had just told me. I knew my hurt and humiliation was still taking it’s toll on me. I couldn’t see stopping the divorce. Yes, her affair is old news to Lauren but it’s like it was yesterday to me. I knew if I wanted to have a relationship with the girls I would have to learn to tolerate Lauren if only as my ex wife.

I began packing to return home. The vacation time I had taken from work was about up and I needed to get back.

When I returned, I located a small apartment that would suit my needs until the divorce was settled.

I called Lauren, “Jason, it’s so good to hear from you. I’ve missed you so much. Are you going to stay here at the house?”

“No, Lauren, I’ve found an apartment. I just need to get some clothes and things things from the house for work if that’s ok. I can’t stay there with the feelings I have right now. I hope you understand that you’ve had over twenty years to come to terms with your lies and betrayal but it’s like yesterday to me. I’ve only known about your betrayal for a month. It’s too fresh and raw.”

There was silence and I knew I probably just dashed any hope she had for us.

“Oh ... ok, Jason. I understand. I want you to know that I love you. Do what you have to do.”

The weeks and months went by. The day we had our final court hearing, it was like I was another person. The hole in my heart Lauren left was bigger than ever. During the waiting period, she had texted and phoned me trying to put a foot back into my life. Some I answered, some I didn’t.

We stood in front of the judge, who hesitated a moment and looked at each of us.

The judge said, “Mr. and Mrs. Dixon, unfortunately, this is likely to be the last time I call you by those titles. There is obviously unfinished business between you two. I can see the heartbreak in both of you. Before I end this marriage, I want to say that I think you’re making a mistake. I know the circumstances that led us here today and I’m not unsympathetic to Mr. Dixon. The heartbreak of finding out that you’re not the biological father of the daughter you raised from infancy and the lies associated with it, are obviously devastating.”

“Mrs. Dixon, as you know, I’ve talked to both of you privately, I know that you still love this man and somewhere in the broken pieces of his heart, he still loves you but he’s adamant that he can’t stay married to you. Sometimes love by itself can’t overcome the feelings of disrespect and betrayal that he feels. I’m granting this divorce against my better judgement.”

“God be with you both. Courts adjourned.”

I looked over at Lauren, she was sobbing. Anna and Dana were with her, holding her.

Lauren looked at me through her tears and said, “I’m so, so sorry.”

I just said, “I know.”

Dana and Anna left their mother’s side and walked over to me. They hugged me with tears in their eyes.

I said, “Take good care of your mom, Girls. She needs you.”

Dana said, “And who’s going to take care of you?”

“I don’t know, Baby. No idea. But tonight, I feel it’s going to be Jack Daniels or Jose Cuervo and in the morning I’m pretty sure the rest of me will be as dead as my heart.”

I kissed both of them on the forehead, gave Lauren a last, sad look and walked out.

I woke up the next morning with what sounded like somebody beating on my apartment door with a frying pan, but it was just my alarm going off. The empty Jack Daniels bottle on the floor told the sad tale. I stumbled around and found some aspirin and a bottle of water. I’m pretty sure someone took a shit in my mouth.

I thought, “Jesus, what’s that smell. Damn, it’s me. Ok, Jason, you have got to get your shit together and move on. You got what you wanted, didn’t you? That cheating whore of a wife is history. You’ve divorced her. You punched out her lover and baby daddy of twenty years ago. You happy now? No, you’re not. Your once happy family looks like the beaches of Normandy on June 6th, 1944. Nothing but bodies everywhere. Difference is, the Allies still overcame and won. There were no winners here.”

I turned the water on and just leaned against the wall in the shower. My head was pounding. I finally cleaned up and brushed my teeth three times. Never again, never again.

The months went by ... two then four, then eight months since the divorce was final. I speak to the girls often and have even texted with Lauren several times about different things, mostly about the girls. First thing I knew a year had gone by since my world imploded.

I was in a local bar with some coworkers having a beer after work when she walked in ... Lauren, and she wasn’t alone. She was on the arm of an average looking man in an expensive suit. She appeared to be in her work clothes minus the white coat. What was this feeling? Anger, Jealousy, what? She’s moved on and I obviously haven’t. I excused myself and started to leave when she saw me. Her hand went to her mouth and she untangled her arm from her man. I just smiled at her and walked out. Her eyes never left me. She started to rise from her seat when her date grabbed her hand. I just nodded. He was unaware of our nonverbal communication.

I got in my truck and drove away, ignoring the tears rolling down my cheek. I had wondered what it would be like if I saw her out with another man. It was heart wrenching. I was almost to my apartment when my phone rang.

It was Dana. She said, “Hi, Dad, how are you?”

I said, “Hi, Kiddo, I’ve been better but I can’t remember that far back.”

“Dad? Mom’s seeing someone.”

“Oh, really? I guess she’s moved on. She’s still a beautiful woman. I’m not surprised some guy latched on to her.”

I didn’t mention that I had seen her and her new man.

“Dad, she’s been seeing a therapist for several months who has convinced her to move on with her life. She’s dating.”

I said, “Ok, Dana, why are you telling me this? I divorced her. She’s free to do whatever she wants. I’m no longer a part of her life other than you and Anna.”

“Damn it, Dad, You are so blind. She may be dating but there’s only one man she wants and that’s you. Annas’s wedding is in a few months as you know. Isn’t it going to be awkward if she shows up with a date?”

“Dana, I can’t control what your mom does or doesn’t do. We talk occasionally but she doesn’t speak of her love life. I will ask her next time we talk if she plans on bringing a date.”

“Ok, Dad. Just wanted you to know that it looks like she’s moving on. I miss you. I know you still love her. Damn, you two are stubborn as mules.”

Another month went by. I had a couple of calls from Lauren but I didn’t answer them. No point, she’s moved on.

I had not dated anyone since the divorce. My heart wasn’t in it and it just wouldn’t have been fair to drag my baggage with me on what’s supposed to be a fun outing but things change.

I was working on a bid for our products when an absolutely gorgeous woman bolted into my office.

She came through the door and said, Hi, I’m Melanie Ford and you’re Jason Dixon, I believe. I hear you need a date for tonight and I just happen to be available so here I am. We have reservations at that new restaurant everyone’s raving about, Angelicas.”

She wrote her phone number and address on my desk calendar and said, “I’ll be ready at 6:30 with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes ... IF you are into that sort of thing.”

She winked and was back out the door as quick as she blew in.

I thought, “What just happened?” Then, I smiled. I see Anna and Dana’s fingerprints all over this date. I have to say if they are gonna fix me up with a blind date, this one is a knockout.

I went home and was getting ready when it hit me that’s it’s been over twenty-six years since I’ve been on a real date. Do I even know how to act? All those years with Lauren, I just stared at her anytime we were out, taking in her beauty and knowing she was mine.

When I arrived at Melanie’s house, I went to the door and rang the bell. She opened the door and I thought, “Who is this woman? She’s even more beautiful than when she was in my office.”

She said, “Well, Jason, do I pass inspection?”

I said, “Jesus, Miss Ford. You take my breath away. You sure I’m the guy you want taking you out? You are smoking hot.”

Melanie’s long black hair hung just over her shoulders, her eyes were the bluest I’ve ever seen. Her lipstick was red and her make up was perfect. She was wearing a royal blue dress that stopped just above her knees. I could see the points of her nipples telling me there was no bra under that dress. She had on sun tan hosiery that ended with her gorgeous blue polished toes protruding out of the sexiest stiletto peep toe heels I’ve ever seen.

I escorted her to our Uber she told me she had ordered. We got in and she immediately put her arm in mine. It felt good. The attention she was giving me was going straight to my cock. I was doing my best to hide the chubby that was definitely there.

We walked in and the host seated us. Melanie was a delightful date. We talked and discussed most everything. She is divorced also. No drama with hers. Just a amicable breakup. She listened to as much of my story as I wanted to tell at this point in our relationship but I got the feeling she already knew much of my story. She caught me gazing at her eyes.

“See something you like, Jason?”

Honestly Melanie, I think I’m dreaming. I’m just an average guy. Nothing special and you’re beautiful. I’m so far beneath you that I don’t really know why I’m here. It’s not everyday that a Goddess busts into my office telling me we’re going out tonight. Suddenly, I felt nylon covered toes on my bare leg, snaking their way up my pants leg. I nearly lost the mouthful of tea that I’d just sipped.

Melanie laughed and continued her seduction up my leg as far as my pants leg would allow.

Then, as fate would have it. I’m watching my ex wife walking toward our section on the arm of the same man I had seen her with before. They were seated and she had not noticed me yet.

Melanie said, “Jason, I think you are the nicest, sexiest man I’ve had the pleasure of being with in years. Thank you for allowing me this evening. I realize my introduction was a little out of the ordinary but sometimes needs require bold action and I’m in need.”

“Oh?” I asked. Then I felt them.

“Do my toes that I just placed against that bulge in your pants that’s been there since we got out of the car give you any idea as to my needs?”

Just about that time, Lauren looked around and saw me. I saw her deflate when she saw Melanie. She glanced down and couldn’t miss Melanie’s foot in my lap. Those sad eyes that I had seen and knew so well for over twenty-five years were watering as she tried to hold back the tears. Her man was holding her hand.