Chapter 2

What happened next was a blur. Somehow, though I didn’t recall how, I ended up in the bed of none other than my colleague/subordinate, Heather Jacobson. I was naked, sure, but it was clear that she and I didn’t fuck at all. It was just as clear that she had snuggled up with me as much as she could ... and that she was nude, too.

“Relax ... I just took you in and cuddled with you, that’s all. You got a LOT of hair, by the way. A fucking yeti or caveman, I guess ... but I could get used to that. Keeps a girl nice and warm, after all,” Heather told me as she helped me get to the bathroom.

“How long ... was I out? How long in the hospital ... what happened?” I asked her, but she just smiled and kissed the back of my neck while I pissed.

“Oh, honey, don’t worry about that. Your job’s safe, especially from me. Think I want those headaches? Hell to the no, especially after covering for you and filling in ... seeing how much the stress can get to you. I haven’t even gone out for ladies’ nights at Mickey Finnegan’s. No, I just went straight home to my new man, my boss. I’ve also jilled off like crazy to your manly bod,” Heather confessed while I washed my hands.

She slipped her arms around me and nestled her head against my flesh before making a face and dragging me to the shower.

“You’ve had nothing but sponge baths since I took you home two days ago. Probably another good reason to arrange the sick days for you, right? Can’t have you stinking up the mall! Look, I took you in, fed you, sponge bathed you, as I said, changed your clothes more than once, and just generally cuddled with you. I hope that doesn’t bother you. I just ... couldn’t keep my hands entirely to myself.

“As for sex ... well, the doctor warned me not to hump you ... you’ve already been gang-raped. Let’s not add another perp. So, as much as I’d love to knock boots or bump uglies or make the beast with two backs, or whatever, I’ve held off because you’re in no shape for it yet. You need to recover first. Plus ... well, you’ve been bareback with a lot of women in a short space of time. Women who clearly didn’t think of your welfare before riding you like a fucking bronco.

“The point is that your STD screen’s not back yet. Nor HIV, for that matter. I especially owe it to myself to make sure that I don’t get chlamydia, which would be bad news in terms of you know, making babies? Men carry that stuff, but they don’t get any symptoms. Women become barren, sterile, as a result. There’s even a risk of UTI due to the catheter and an unclear amount of pussy. They never got a final count of the perps.

“And for your sake ... well, the doc doesn’t know how your heart will react to intercourse. Not to mention other ... body parts. So, better a little delay now than having to attend your funeral because I killed you with my love. That’s not even counting the risk of impotence or worse. None of that stops me from being mushy, frisky, and lovey dovey, though.

“Look, buddy, it comes to this. I love you. Not just as a friend, either. I fucking LOVE you, okay? Get it, schmuck? I’ve been in love with you for at least a year, if not longer. I’ve been your only friend, and you’ve clearly got more issues than Hustler, so I get why you kept it platonic and sorta professional. Plus, you’re my boss, so there’s that whole deal.

“But it’s a fact, man. I, Heather Anne Jacobson, am madly in love with you, my boss, Mark whatever your middle name is Addison. Yeah, I just told you my middle name. What’s yours, chief? Care to get to know each other a lot better, even if we have to take the sex part a little slower for the moment? We can snuggle up, drink whiskey, rum, beer, wine, whatever you like, grope each other silly, you can even dry hump me ... we can do just about everything but that right now, babe,, “ Heather now made her pitch.

“All very tempting, and I must admit that it’s been ... a catharsis to wake up with a woman and realize that she hasn’t abused, tortured, maimed, or otherwise harmed me in my sleep. I know that’s a low bar, but that’s why I stuck to casual sex and never let a soul grace my bed at night. I always use protection, too. Always. Both for disease and to avoid ... entanglements like you know... , “ I stammered as we washed each other’s bodies in the shower, a true watershed for me.

“Pregnancy? Yeah, I get it. You’ve kept yourself safe, in every way possible. You’re one helluva paranoid motherfucker, pardon the expression, but after learning what happened to you, I get why. Knowing you ... you’ve used the spermicide type of rubbers, too, haven’t you? The only reasons you haven’t had the big V are that it costs money and you don’t want to be that open and vulnerable, especially in that area.

“Your mother really forced you to get a bris ... no anesthetic, no urologist, no mohel, no nothing, huh? Ouch! That’s gotta hurt like hell! Just held down, probably screaming your lungs out, wide awake, restrained by your mother, sister, and their friends? Damn! I’d probably have some fucking nightmares, just like you did while with me. I could hear you sob and scream in your sleep, babe.

“Look, I’m just asking you for a trial run while you’re here, recovering from the latest assault on you by your own family. I won’t rule out asking for more, but I’ll never ask you to be faithful or promise to be that way myself. Let me prove what a great lover I’ll be for you ... in every way except the one way that I most want to do, but sadly can’t yet.